I'm Aqua male, she's Virgo Female. Living Advice?

So, I met this girl 5 months ago. She has a 1 y/o son with a man she is currently divorcing. They have been living seperately for 1 1/2 year and were not together long since he was verbally and physically abusive to her. For the past 4 months, her and I have been having a blast, doing things together and taking care of one another and I have been helping her out since she does not drive, has a baby boy and not much support from the people in her life. My mother was once in her situation with me as a baby and I could not see the situation happen again in my life, so I stepped up as a man and was there for her, even if the boy is not my biological son. The three of us would go to parks and play and she would pay for babysitters whenever we would go on dates. Throught this time, she has also been going to court to deal with divorce and child custody of the boy. It was my understanding that the husband was a piece of trash who was very violent and had a history of arrests and drugs.

We were both not happy with where we were currently living so a month ago I asked her if she'd like to find a place with me. I explained that it would be risky since we barely knew each other but she was on the verge of getting kicked out of her current home and I wanted to find a peaceful home where we could live and we had very little time to find that place.

On July 1st, we moved into our apartment together, the same day that the judge granted 50/50 sharing rights for the father. Since then, the lines of communication have opened between the father and her and at the same time, have shut down between her and I. On with the Red Flags...

I noticed her being very quiet, distant, and ready to argue at anything. The first three weeks of living together have been emotionally draining for the both of us. I started to sense that her and the father were re-kindling the marriage as I saw her get into his car, in front of our building, on a day that wasn't agreed on by the judge. I told her that I did not agree with that at all, and that Going into this..I accepted her son and the boy's father being in her life, but not in THAT way. So I told her I would separate my bed from hers and sleep on the other side of the apartment until she figures things out. She threw a fit and became more distant for the next few weeks, snapping and hissing at every question I ask. I began to think that since her husband was the only man that she's had a serious relationship with, maybe she was used t

abusive relationships and that's just not me.

Something just didnt smell right. This was not the girl I met that would always come up with reasons to see me... So, taking into consideration that we just signed a lease together, and I wanted this confusing period to go as smoothly as possible for everyone, I had a conversation with her, as a friend, that I understand her situation and want whats best for me, her, and her baby boy and told her that everytime I went to talk to her to ask her about her feelings, she pushed and pushed away, creating problems where they didnt really exist, making me the enemy all of a sudden. However, she would still come to me for sex. I told her I would give her space and that our relationship would be on a "pause". And that we should both respect what we've had up until now until we figure out what we want in a partner. (Entering Awkward Room mate Mode lol)

She knew I loved her and still knows I love her today based on my actions and ALWAYS being there for her and her boy. We have never disrespeced each other or raised our voices when we would argue. But she pushed me so far that I also became distant and quiet as well. I was like this for about a week or so and then, out of nowhere... something happened and I dont know how or why.


SHE STARTED doing nice things for me again, more than a room mate would or should, more than a "friend" would. (Cooking and preparing lunch, communicating with me again, smiling and joking, texting, cleaning the house together, making dinner and eating together again, passionate sex,asking me if we could get a dog...etc)

SO... HERE's THE QUESTION..

I am terrified at approaching her about the "status" of out relationship since whenever I would, she would push me away. We have not had a heavy conversation about her relationship with the boy's father or about what "we" are...but I know that the feelings are definitely still there. Her eyes say it all.


Is there a need for a "conversation" at this point since actions speak louder than words? She's doing all the things a girlfriend would do again. Things that she doesn't have to, things that I do not ask for. It feels like we're together but no heavy topics and no "I love you's", no "baby this" or baby that". The air does feel cleared and it feels peacful to be home and not as awkward as it did when we first moved in. In other words, the love is FELT but not SPOKEN.

I've been reading a lot about virgo's and on how they deal wit

h emotions and may seem distant. Much of it sounds exactly like her. Anyways, sorry for the long post, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Should I just go with the flow on this one and not force a heavy emotional conversation? At this point, she's back to being the same girl I fell in love with. And I have not changed. I want to tell her I love her, but for now, I'll just keep showing her.

She realized that the father and her would not work out and now she back to you. You were / are "mate insurance." The backup / or current plan when all else fails. It also means your the flavor of the moment until something better comes along or she is stronger to move on herself.

She may love you but sounds like (so many who come here) is very emotionally immature and or arrested in her emotional development.

Good luck. You now have to live in the bed you made and with a kid in the picture the courts are very pro child and anti - you the good samaritan.

Best advice is to ask her and yourself where do you see yourself in six months.

Yeah, that's the logical answer that I haven't tried yet. Thanks