Improvement w/Virguy

Hey again Virgos and all, just thought I'd give an update on my situation thus far. Before break my Virguy actually called and asked me out for a spontaneous lunch, a big improvement from him given how I'd always be the one asking him out before. It was much too spontaneous for me (I'm a planner) and I was already busy, so we rescheduled for another day. That day came and he was running late b/c of a meeting, but kept me updated. When we did meet up, he told me that the president of his company had bought him lunch already. I thought that sealed my fate, but he smiled and told me that he promised me we'd go out and he intended to keep it. So we went somewhere and he kept me company the whole time while I ate. I kept asking him if it was ok for him to be outside of the office for so long (he was going on 3 hours at that point), but he re-assured me it was. When we said goodbye, he told me he'd call.

Today I was back at work from break, and I was walking back from lunch and see him coming right my way. I couldn't believe the coincidence. I hadn't talked to him at all in the last 1.5 weeks, waiting for him to call (don't want to be clingy), so I approached with caution but found him happy to talk. We must've stood around talking for a good twenty minutes before he invited me to go with him to a nearby place. I had already eaten, but still had time, so it was my turn to keep him company. At the end, I wasn't expecting much from him when he said we should do lunch again (he's always been vague), but he firmed it up by asking me if Friday was ok. Given how he never planned any of our past outings with much advance thought, this was nice to see.

The only problem with all these lunch dates is that it's hard to get intimate and playful, like a real date. I thought I made it clear that I liked him as more than a friend, but now I'm not so sure anymore. Dunno how he sees me at this point.

Am I on the right track? Any recommendations for things I could be doing better with him? He loves politics/economics topics so I always engage him in those, ask him for his opinions, etc. When the conversation shifts to his family, I show him that I remember things he's told me about his brothers or parents and he seems surprised I remember all of it. I think I need to compliment him more... I rarely if ever say anything out of fear of being too obvious.

Thanks 🙂 I've def. slowed it down with him, mainly going by his flow.

Lunch today was great. Conversation was flowing really well, our sense of humor was matching so we were both laughing a lot too. In the middle of lunch he tells me he's going to this happy hour with friends, but doesn't really feel like it anymore. He even tells me he feels obligated to go b/c a couple of girls 'liked' that he was going (Facebook). He then invites me to go with him, and I say yes. Rest of lunch goes just as well. When we're leaving, we talk about where to meet, what time, what car to take, etc and I'm feeling pretty good. About a half hour later I get a text from him telling me he's been thinking about it and doesn't feel like going at all. He then sent me another text saying that we should still go (to happy hour I'm assuming) soon. I asked if he wanted to do something just us today, but gave him 'out' by letting him know that if he was tired and just wanted to head home that it was no problem. Haven't heard back, but knowing him, it's not too surprising.

I think the reason I get so frustrated, LIB, is because I build up a great streak with him, and then he stops the momentum. Like the first time we actually went out; went out thurs, he called friday, went out saturday then... silence. Or this week, went out wednesday, went out today, made plans for later today then... silence again. If he was at least consistent it wouldn't be so hard lol

And there's yet more chapters to this saga!

Almost a week after that lunch I'm waiting by the elevator and he comes out of nowhere and starts talking to me. He immediately says he wants to do lunch on friday again, but can't because of a business obligation, but offers up the next week. He also invites me to go grab coffee with him, which I agree to, and we go. We agree to meet this Wednesday.

So I had bought him a x-mas gift that FINALLY arrived on Monday. On Tuesday I go to where he eats lunch and hand it to him. He didn't believe I actually got him a gift. He kept asking if I was joking, or if the box was empty. When he finally opened it he seemed to like it. He always has a plain coffee mug in the morning, so I got him one with his team's logo on it. He kept saying how that was really nice/thoughtful of me and even joked about getting me something. I'm heading out the door and he starts asking me if I want to grab lunch this week... which surprised me since we had agreed to meet yesterday. I tell him that and his eyes shoot open in surprise and he's like 'oh! yes, that's right'. I was a little bummed he had forgotten.

Yesterday we went for lunch and it was also my bday. I had told him last week aaaand he forgot 😢. Anywho, since he's been doing all the asking out lately, I figured I'd ask him out and asked him to an event this weekend (he told me he was free earlier). He suddenly gets antsy on me and gives me a maybe, which bummed me out. We keep going out for lunch, which is great, but I don't see us getting closer w/o seeing each other in weekends.

So, I dunno. Whenever he sees me he asks me out (stark contrast to before), but still nothing.

Id say remove all expectations of this becoming a relationship and just have fun with the guy, since it seems you enjoy yourself with him. Get to really know him, thru time, cause whats keeping you disappointed is what you want from him. Yall can end up becoming the best of friends. Would it kill you if it went in that direction?

btw, my mom is friends with a Cap and Virgo who are best friends, who should date, but nobody has made the move in 20+ yrs. He likes her, but either wrong timing or doesnt want to potentially ruin the friendship. idk

Just posting that to say it can go that route, and if it does, dont view it as a horrible thing. Just enjoy having fun with him.

I dunno about killing me, I just know I'd be a little sad since I do feel attracted to him. I do enjoy what we have, but you're right in that it's my expectations that are the ones hurting me. What I need to work on is maintaining this lack of expectation with him. Usually at times like this when I'm feeling discouraged, I do expect nothing from him, and then he'll pop up out of nowhere and do and say a lot of things which bring my expectations back up. I think I just need to work on keeping it low.

And don't worry, I'm not dedicating my life to this guy or anything of the sort. Tonight I'm going to a friend's party (who has lots of single friends) and on Tuesday I have a lunch date with another guy I met this last week. So, no worries, I am keeping my eyes out and about.