Please Help me!!!

Virgo sister out of control!!!!

Where do I begin, my younger Virgo sister (15) has been having sex since she was 14. She has had multiple partners, and currently in a relationship with a 20 year old!!!!! I feel like beating the butter out of her and this man. (which I will). My cousins and I (around my age 19-20) have had several talks with her that involved screaming, crying etc. These "talks" are not working. To be honest I am so embarrassed by her, and I cannot stand to look at her. She disappoints me continuosly. Her behavior has been a secret to our mother. My younger sister(14yrs old libra) also tries to talk to her and help her. She does not want to listen. They have gotten into plenty of arguments and fights because my younger sister is trying to talk some sense into her head. I am away in college so I cannot really do much. But enough is enough- I have to tell my mother about her behavior. My mother would probably flip out on her. I swear I want to kill this guy- when I go home I have to beat his a**...~ I will find out where he lives, tell him about himself, curse him out, then beat his a**

She really disappoints me, I cannot even stand to look at her. She lies to me- I knew she had a boyfriend, but she told me he was 17....

any suggesstions...—

I do not understand her she says one thing and does another.

"any suggesstions...—"

Yep .. the only person who can live up to your standards is yourself.
Nobody else in this life has the obligation of securing your approval.

"To be honest I am so embarrassed by her, and I cannot stand to look at her. She disappoints me continuosly."

Maybe if you stopped judgeing her and trying to force her to live up to your morals and code of ethics .. she might even start to trust you.

"She does not want to listen."

This isn't abnormal .. most people don't listen to people who would rather beat up, then show support and understanding.

"my younger sister is trying to talk some sense into her head."

Who makes the decision of what is sensible and what is not?
You don't walk in her shoes and neither does your Libran sister .. what's right for one person doesn't have to be right for another.


Suggestion? Yeah .. try be understanding that changing hormones put youngsters in a whirlwind that is difficult to cope with, instead of trying to make her adhere to what you believe .. she is not YOU.

Put someone's back against the wall .. they WILL defy.

Open your heart to thier troubles, from THIER perspective .. they WILL listen.

Elementary ....

I know that's not what you wanted to hear .. but, it's the truth.

Back down from yourself a tad .. live and let live .. this is her life, not yours.

Maybe she's in love, but, you wouldn't know that because you've put her in a position to disregard you, rather than embrace you as a sister and someone to whom she can rely on to share her life with ..

Perhaps, she is confused .. that's why she's had multiple partners and can't seem to comprehend that by using her kitty, what she's accomplishing is becoming a slut, rather than having a man's love ..

.. the only people who can effect your life, are the ones who are in it ..

You are in a position to effect her life, IF you choose to be in it, rather than standing over top of her, making demands according to your ethics .. are you going to push her away by berating her, or, are you going to show empathy and try to grasp what she's going through from her perspective?

I am not putting her against the wall, I do not judge her when I speak to her, I try to be as unbiased as ever. But if her best friends, sisters, and cousins all see a problem with her behavior then there must be a PROBLEM. I feel very unconfortable with my 15 year old sister having had sex with multiple partners!!!! I am pretty sure many people will feel the same way. And HELLO ILLEGAL 20 year old-15 year old!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do not make demands on her. An d I am not much older than her- so I know where she is coming from.

What am I a bad person for not wanting my sister be a big SLUT!!! (sorry got carried away).....

Her best friend (whom she confides in) has told me that she does not even want to hang out with her like that b/c ahe has gone crazy over boys.

I guess the best solution is to tell my mother...

You can't go back in time .. you can only do today what needs to be done ..

.. what needs to be done is for someone to put themselves in a position for your sister to have a trusting counsel who will LISTEN to her troubles.

.. you're not listening to her, you're listening to yourself and what YOU feel is right or wrong.

.. she's crying out and nobody hears her

Yes I do not want her to pay a high price either- I have already taken her to the clinic (no one knows this but us)!!!! I am afraid of her contracting an STD or getting pregnant.

I do listen P-Angel, but if she only tells me limited things then that cannot be my FAULT. I do not just tell her what I think is right- I look at it from all different angles.

I feel like I have done so much for her, and she does not even care! She knows what the right thing is but yet she chooses to go left. SMH (shaking my head)...
Sneaking out at 4:00 am to see a 20 year old!!!! I am sorry but this is WRONG!!!!!!

"if she only tells me limited things then that cannot be my FAULT"


This has nothing to do with fault, FE .. it's about her only telling you limited things because she doesn't trust you.

You're a Virgo, you know for yourself .. if you don't trust somebody .. you're tight-lipped about personal matters. If you know that the person standing by your side is going to support you, no matter what .. you will confide in them.

.. I'm not trying to point a finger and put blame anywhere, rather, express to you that she needs help .. not someone who has put themselves in authority over her.

Help her .. show her that you can be trusted to believe in her, and she'll believe in you.

I know, only she can help herself, it is her decision, but I am trying to help her so she will not get hurt. This guy is 20!!!!....STD's....Pregnancy....

and she told me that this "guy" had an STD before!!!!!!

...She falls in "love" easily...

I am trying to HELP HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jeez....

my cousin who she confides in and trusts is trying to help/talk to her.

Since I am away most of the year, I cannot possibly be there all the time, my cousin is there, so they usually converse about the issue together....

Every person on this planet, learns from their own life-experiences .. not anothers.


Nobody wants to see another fall, especially a person to whom you love .. but, sometimes we have to fall in order to see that we even had a problem.

.. a broken vessel

You can't stop her from falling .. but, you can be there to catch her with a warm heart and compassionate soul.

I am doing it for her, it is not a bargain, I help her whenever she comes crying to me...

And I am sorry that is WRONG!!! Its illegal!!!! and she should not be sneaking out!!!!
I really want to slap the BUTTER out that guy....

and even her best friend says that it is wrong... "but hey all everyone else is sneaking out the house, having sex (prob unprotected), so it is fine if my sister just follows the crowd" (rolls eyes::in sarcastic tone:🙂

It is hard not to P-A... that is my baby sister!!!!!!! ...but I guess you are right

So should I tell the mother—??.........

my mother would probably flip.

well my mother is a critical Virgo as well...a house full of virgos (chaotic)... so you are right she is most likely seeking affection....

I turned out to be the good girl artistic chick...and she turned out to be the teen gone wild!!!! LOL _sorry it just humored me for a minute. Guess that happens when mom was so critical...but she calmed down over the years....

mom- Virgo Leo Moon
sister- Virgo Scorpio Moon
other sister (lol)- Libra Pisces Moon....

I have some pretty emotional family members

You've make your judgement, "that is WRONG .. she should not"


Hence: Your disappointment you've done to yourself because you expect another to be what you believe to be right, or, wrong.

Why don't you try tapping into a part of her that is beautiful?
Encourage what she has to offer, rather than critically focusing on the part that is not?
Every person wants to feel valuable and worthy .. where is her worth?

Maybe this 20 year-old does just that .. if so, that is where she is bound because that is the person who believes in her.

Certainly, she has talents, gifts, interests .. find one .. guide her towards what makes her smile and have a glad heart that the sun rises every morning.

So far, you're just bitching about what she is doing wrong .. there must be something right, something to strive for ..

.. that is where you will find her, Fieryearth.

My cousin, (18 yr old) speaks to her about it, she is very good at things like that (she is a sagi-love 'em)...she had done the same things my sister has done, and tries to tell her what she has learned from them..etc...etc...
my cousin was raped so she prob did those things so she could feel affection, warmth..etc..... so my sister and my cousin have a really good relationship with each other, b/c they had identify with each other

I know it's scary, because you can see what she cannot ..


.. if she can't, or won't see it .. re-direct her towards something else .. something that makes her feel beautiful.

I do encourage her, she dances (like me), and she is good at it, I always encourage her, she is a very very pretty young lady too...

IDK- there are times where our relationship is good, we laugh, goof around like we are 7 yrs old etc...

but it is when she does not tell me things like this that make me feel like....BUTTER

How—

what if she is in love with this guy—??

Additionally, you don't know how other people are treating her. You say, you are away at college and other people are trying to counsel her .. but, REALLY, you don't know what kind of tone, or expression another is using with her.

How far away is your school?
Is there any way you can get home on weekends?

yes, I am going home in two weeks... so what should I do...?

"what if she is in love with this guy—??"


That would be awesome .. if she's in love with him, she will bind himself TO him and NOT sleep around .. plus, every person wants to feel beautiful, FE

If that's how he makes her feel inside .. that is not wrong for her well-being .. age is irrelevant ..

You never know where love will find you .. age, race, sex .. none of it matters.

What matters is that you feel like you found a place where you belong in this world, through the loving embrace of another who talks to your soul.

uuuughhhhhhhh....it is illegal! P-A... but I guess you are right...................................................................................................................................................................

I am really aggitated by this if you can see.........................................................................................................................................................................

I dont know I just feel like they are on two different levels in their lives...

uuughhh... I really do not want to do that.... I really want to beat the Butter out of him...

So you guys are basically saying.......

Dont tell the mother
Talk to her about it as a friend rather than a sister, do not judge
Make her feel beautiful (however am I supposed to do that?)
Find out her opinion about the guy.

It is hard archer, not too- aries moon and mars- Anger & Aggression!!!! Venus in scorp-VERY protective...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I am not your average VirgO

From my perspective .. you are typical Virgo .. but, I won't get into that.


It's a matter of how you approach this .. that will be the deciding factor of whether you will get your sister to listen to you, or disregard you .. just like everybody else in the world.

A person will go where they will, will do what they want .. the only thing another can really do is just share whatever part of their life that is available to them .. nobody can change another, only themselves.

If she wants to be with this man .. there is nothing anyone can do to stop them .. look at whatever their names are, that teacher and student who have kids together .. she's gone to prison twice and still they love each other.

Spending time with them together, showing your sister that you will stand by her, no matter what .. will bring her TO YOU.

If you tell your mother, you will be exposing her, betraying her .. you will make an enemy out of her.

Her, along with whatever life partner she binds herself to .. will forever look at you as a person to whom will betray her and forsake her, rather than protect her ..

Thanks P-A and Archer for your help.

You're welcome, though, I know it doesn't make any of this easier to deal with ..

When you think about that this is wrong .. sexually illegal .. think about this ..

.. sex outside of wedlock is illegal in the US (don't know if you're American)
.. sodomy is illegal in the US (this includes oral)

I'd be willing to wager that at least 50% of the population participating in sexual activity has performed oral sex on their partner .. that is a punishable crime. You may not be American, and I don't know about other countries .. my point is .. from a legal standpoint .. most people commit sexual crimes everyday of their life.

Anyway, I just thought I would throw that in, for you to ponder what is right and what is wrong .. whatever happens with your sister and the rest of your family, for that matter in regards to her .. I truly hope that all can find a way to turn this into a positive thing, where everybody can find peace and happiness within the family unity.

🙂