Settling Down - Not!

Debra and I have been married over two years now - amazing, ain't it?!

One of the (many!) things I fretted about when we were dating is that I would become too boring for her, because she seemed to be the type of person who moves from one thing to another in succession, and much more often than I do...

As a typical Virgo, I have habits that I've developed over the years that I'm reluctant to change - if it ain't broke, why fix it? True to my Sign, these methods and practices maximize efficiency, and minimize time wasted...

I've said before that my first wife, a Libra, gave in too often for our good - let me get my way most of the time. I don't know if that's typical for Libra females, but over the years I gained control over more & more aspects of our daily life - and she resented it. But, she did little to try and change the situation besides blow up every so often!

My Scorp hasn't allowed that to happen. Just when I'm settling into a routine, she makes a change. Whether it's what we watch on TV, or meal times, or when we make love, there is no set schedule for many of the things we do together - and that's a good thing...

Yet, we've each maintained certain areas that are under exclusive control, and we've settled into these roles so naturally that they seem preordained: The House is Hers, and the Yard is Mine. I decide on the movies and restaurants, and she decides on the TV shows and meals at home. I do some things just for her, and she does some things just for me...

So, I guess I'd recommend to women interested in Virgo Males: Even though he's a member of the Service Sign, don't let him do too much for you, or one day you'll wake up and EVERYTHING in your world will be done His Way - and even if it's the Right Way, you're not gonna be happy living in a perfect universe that you had no hand in creating...

I am beginning to see your point Dyar, literaly ... a virgo will probably need "something" to shake them out of their solid habits, be it a spouse, a career or a friend

for me it is was hard to adapt to changes, now I am getting better at adaptation and even daring to make small changes in my habits but i have to admit that external motivation is more efficient

sorry to divert from your topic Dyar but yes I would advice females interested in virgos not to relinquish all control to them because once it will be hard to reverse the control freak and second it's because all virgos love being tied

Thanks for the advice...Ill keep note of that if I ever fall in love with one of you interesting folk again.

OMG yes thanks for that advice...although Ive known my Virgo for 5 years as friends Ive only been seeing the real him over the past few months and we've become quite fond of one another but yeah I see the little perfect world he has built for himself...he's a neat freak in his home - its perfect in every single way, everything has its place and its immaculate....sheesh!!!

He needs to be a little more spontaneous and lose control a bit more...thats where being a Leo might help him a bit...I love being spontaneous and trying new things (he does too but it has to be planned days in advance) arghhh!!!

"Not really because in my experience Virgos will ONLY create these rituals for the most mundane aspects/tasks of home life and not necessarily for the human side of the equation."

that's a good way of putting it ...

I agree with Shaka in that we deal with stress by attempting to control as much of our environment as we can - and that's most often in the mundane tasks.

The trick for the people in our lives is to not let us extend that control into US time - make Virgo use his compromising skills...

We may grump at you for introducing change, but everyone concerned will be much happier over the long term...

A little settling is fine - just don't let us turn into concrete!

So, I guess I'd recommend to women interested in Virgo Males: Even though he's a member of the Service Sign, don't let him do too much for you, or one day you'll wake up and EVERYTHING in your world will be done His Way - and even if it's the Right Way, you're not gonna be happy living in a perfect universe that you had no hand in creating...

I can see that happening lol

"A little settling is fine - just don't let us turn into concrete!"

I take it from this that virgo man is very hard to live with and that the other person will have to work hard?

I think DyarS's relationship is very encouraging. I love to hear success stories. I will keep your advice in mind if it ever gets to that stage. My trouble is I don't mind a man appearing to 'control' things. I like to be subtle in my control, but not sure if that is possible with a virguy. ok, come to think of it, it is harder than other guys 😉

I think the basic point of this is to be yourself and to be independent in a way in still keeping parts of your life exist when you integrate into his. I think virgos stress out a lot any way, so it is not wise to basically put your burden of shit on top of his burden of shit too. The less burden he needs to carry, the better he will be. I always saw my ex as "Atlas" the titan that carried the heavens on his back. He always was kind of that guy that felt responsible for everyone and that's an endearing, but stressful trait on his part.

It just seems as if you've matured and settled down, taking it easy so to speak, instead when you were younger and felt the need to be proactive in every single detail.

theskys, I can see that. He use to feel really bad at times when the business was not doing so well. Like he was less of a man. I hope that trait calms down as virgos mature because being responsible for the world is too much responsibility.

It gets on my nerves actually...it's like just do your own shit and forget about the world..but OH NO!..they must be in charge of everything..I said to a friend of mine..why don't you relinquish some of that control, let the others do it.."they'll just do a shoddy job"...
Me: not if you teach them your way
Him: no, they just don't get it
Me: maybe you don't want them to get it
Him: maybe
Me: control freak!

::rolls eyes::

Missy: "they'll just do a shoddy job"

That's Virgo-Speak for: "If I don't do it, I'll fret about it!"

I am surprised you guys don't get ulcers or something...worry about everything!..

I feel like walking into his oh so tidy bedroom and shoving a few things on the floor and messing up his bed..just to see the reaction!.haha..lmao..it's hillarious actually.

Debra picks at me about my need to make the bed as soon as we're up. She can wait until after breakfast, but not this Virgo...

If I don't feel like making the bed..I won't bother at all...imagine!...I guess that would drive you nuts right? lol..besides, I like the untidy environment..it shows life..

I am sooo lazy..just can't be arsed really..

Mine was a bit of a control freak too. Loved him to death, but sometimes I would have to tell him to back off a bit or I was going to go nuts. They really do care though, its their way of caring about the people in their lives. Unfortunately as DyarStra?e said, if you don't have your own little form of independence, they will fricken take over your life cheerfully and you will be miserable. e_e And your misery will probably make them miserable too because they want to please you.

Yeah Ive even noticed with my Virgo that he will do ANYTHING to please...nothing is too much trouble. He's a neat freak though and Im not sure whether it'd drive him mad with my relaxed ways. Must admit I do like order around me too but his place has EVERYRYTHING in its place..NOTHING is messed up. He is the neatest man I have ever known LOL.

Control freaks? Ive never noticed a Virgo being a control freak before so I'll watch for that...Leos wont be controlled damnit LOL.

LOL @ Chatz....I like neat and orderly but not to an obsessive extent..
Control freak not in the sense how scorpios control..your emotions..virgos just control everything in your life..you know things like your car will always be tanked up and spotless (error free), the house, the bills will be paid on time, all those kinda things..your emotions will be under subtle control..lay down the rules in the beginning or you've had it..lol..In a way it's a good thing because well I need to hire a PA at home to sort out all the paper work and a maid to clean up the house..now it will be done for me!!!..perfect..lol

But I am a fan of chaos..don't take to orderly way of living..lol

LOL...I can see what you mean. He thinks of EVERYTHING!!! I know many virgos and they all seem the same but my brother's fiance is a Virgo and OMG she is so messy and so bad with money....to think my male virgo is completely the opposite!! somethings gone wrong there LOL

VGM: Yes, he may grumble, but I KNOW he appreciates it.

We do. Scorpio women build up credibility with us VirGuys. We trust you. And since we trust you, we'll go along with the changes.

Chatz: Leos wont be controlled damnit

My Mom wasn't, and you shouldn't be, either.

Mom had Dad totally figured out. He couldn't bluff her at all. We'll test your strength and your patience, but we'll respect it...

Once you establish the rules & boundaries with us, everyone will be much happier. I wasn't a witness to my parents' courtship (of course!), but I heard all about it from my maternal grandmother, and it was stormy! Several times Mom almost broke it off before Dad figured out that this Southern Belle wasn't a delicate flower - more like a Steel Magnolia!

By the time I can remember, my parents had their relationship sorted out. I do know that Dad admired Mom's wit, humor, and optimism. She was the furnace in our house - everyone wanted to be around her to soak up the warmth! Dad was more the wise old sage. If you needed a hug, you ran to Mom; if you needed help with your homework, you waited by the door for Dad to get home from work.

Leo Women can be perfect for Virgo Men - at least in my experience. Besides Mom, I haven't been around that many, but the few I have met I liked almost immediately.

hehehe thats encouraging 🙂

Well, I'm I guess what you would call a true "Scorpio" and my fianc? is DEFINENTLY a TRUE "VIRGO". LOL!! He proposed to me Christmas day. It's been a LONG, BUMPY, ENJOYABLE road to get us to where we are now and I can say EVERYTHING that I've read so far is true. :O) He's pretty set in his ways, but I stir things up. We haven't moved in with each other yet, but when I go to his house, I have the run of the place. Just as long as I leave his "game room" alone, and I do ..... except when I want to clean it and as far as that goes. I'm the neat freak and I HAVE to make the bed up when we wake up or I'll go bananas, he could care less. LOL! I love my Virgo!! 13 LONG GRULING Months of courting and now an engagement. I couldn't be happier.

Well this is indeed encouraging. An increasing number of Virgo man Scorpio woman couplings..woohoo..how exciting...So this couple does indeed belong to the mutual admiration society as astrologers predict..lol..

Fabulous..simply fabulous..

LOL! Didn't know there were alot of Scorpio/Virgo couples until I met and fell in love with a Virgo. Had to read up and do some research on them ASAP because this one was giving me a challange I've NEVER came across before (did I mention I was a Scorpio? lol). He's the first Virgo I ever met. Usually they're a Capricorn, Tarus, or AIRES (never again, lol).

Capricorn - never again..although he was utterly adorable..but I would rather be married to a corpse

Aries - Erm lovely as they are..not marriage material in my humble opinion

Taurus - Reeeeeeeeeeally want to meet one

Leo - Yes please, lots and lots of them

Haven't actually properly considered virgo as a dating partner cos I am always too busy with the Leo's..(my favourite) but things are progressing nicely with this one for the time being. I haven't experienced any disappearance that all are going on about just yet. In fact he's the one smothering me to death..

Sun: Virgo
Moon: gemini
Merc: Virgo
Venus: Scorp
Mars: Scorp
Rising: Leo

LOL! Yeah the smothering lasted in the first few weeks. In fact, I was secretly wishing he would JUST GO HOME ALREADY. Well, I got my wish and he rarely came over, I think it was down to about once a week. Even now that we're engaged, it's about the same. Well, maybe it's about 2-3 times a week. To be with a Virgo, you have to be EXTREMLY PATIENT. LOL! That's one thing he's taught me to be. That and the fact that I don't need as much sex as I thought I did ... I think ... I'm still a Scorpio after all. LOL!

Aries - NEVER AGAIN .... My daughters father is an Aries and we bumped heads constantly. I consider myself a listener and he's a BIG TALKER, which worked out, or so I thought. Then we had the problems of me not talking enough and that I was to secretive, which I never thought I was. Hell, if I was I couldn't help it and didn't even realize I was doing it. LOL!

Capricorns - From my brief experience they were all right, sex was a little bland though.

Taurus - They're tooooo "whiny" and TO ME, seemed like he didn't have a back bone.

When I describe the following above, I'm not saying talking about ALL. I'm just telling you about the ones I've encountered. :O)

Sun: Scorpio
Moon: Gemini
Mercury: Scorpio
Venus: Capricorn
Mars: Virgo
Rising: Capricorn

Yeah me too..I am talking about the ones I've encountered..I am sure not all are the same..as astrology aside, they are human beings first and foremost..

So I should expect the disappearance? I better be careful what I wish for then..lol..I was getting all scared and actually hyperventilating..he was really trying to make me open up and was really intense..my venus in Sagitarius got really scared and ran a mile..I don't like it when I am cornered about my feelings..I don't feel as quickly..I love talking to him but not in love with him just yet...and it's really scary how he actually knows the inner workings..I hate that..lol..I am like "Stop trying to figure me out godamn it"..the bastard..lol..

He almost declared his undying love before he went on holiday..I got all scared..well he does have venus in Scorpio..Whats your ones venus sign?
He said that he's going away for 3 weeks, in those 3 weeks he wants me to think about how I want to move this forward!!!..I was like erm ok, I guess going with the flow is out of the question then..lol..He said when I get back I don't want any of your excuses, you have to spend a lot of time with me in that week otherwise how are we suppose to get to know each other and move things to the next level (he's going to Cyprus for work for a couple of weeks when he gets back from his hols)..Gawd..talk about telling me how it is!..lol..So it's all a bit too much at the moment. However I am having trouble contacting him on his international simcard and no doubt he's thinking I have disappeared on him again. (I did previously)..Probably gonna get a bollocking when he returns..haha..love it when he tells me off..like a naughty little kid..hehe..yah I am sick like that..

My cappy friend actually told me that I wouldn't do well with a cappy male..she said they will bore you to tears and sex will too mechanical....Hmmm..can't say it has ever gotten that far with a cap. I don't have the patience for anyone who moves at snail speed..I am extremely restless and very very impatient!

Thankfully for me..the virgo is very impatient too..he wants things to happen like yesterday..good!..at last..someone on my level..Good things don't come to those who wait..good things come to those who go get it, that's my bloody philosophy..

oh god..you poor thing..your guy has capricorn rising and mars in capricorn..no wonder he tries your patience..lol

My one is mars in scorpio, rising in Leo..yep he has no patience..lol..it's all good

Well, I don't beleive that all Virgos are alike. Mine was the patient one, he want's to go sllllooooowwwwwlllllyyyy at everything. He proposed Christmas day, but we're not setting a date becasue he wants us to take our time and do it right, well he won't have any complaints out of me. I'm just glad we made it this far. LOL! Hey! I'm Capricorn Rising and Virgo Mars. So what are you trying to say? :OP :O) He's Cancer Rising and Cancer Mars

Sun: Virgo
Moon: Leo
Mercury: Virgo
Venus: Virgo
Mars: Cancer
Rising: Cancer

I thought you posted his credentials earlier..but realised they were yours...pretty good match really with all your earthy signs in your chart...

Mine are quite compatible..I don't know how they work it out..but my venus and his moon are opposites and my sun and his venus are something or other...it's pretty good apparantly....

Novice in all this astrology malarky...as you can tell..lol..

Ah well, lets see what happens when he returns from his hols...I miss talking to him 😢 we argue all the time..(playful arguing)

I think your ones disappearing acts are more to do with the fact that he had cancer rising more than anything...man I hate those buggers!

Have you ever had any chemistry with Pisces or Cancer men?

Missy,

You know how I feel about Scorpio & Virgo. It's not a perfect couple, but it can be a very fulfilling couple. We complete each other, but not in the way most people mean that phrase. We encourage each other to reach our potentials. Since I trust Debra completely, I allow much more change (and downright chaos!) in my life than I ever have before. In return, I provide her with a rock-solid platform to build a new life on - I've freed her to do things she could not have done otherwise. She was able to quit work, and be a stay at home Mom in her 30's. And, if she decides to return to her career, she knows she won't be working, and taking care of the house and children all by herself - I'll be there to share the load, and reorganize things to minimize the stress.

When S&V have shared goals, they can make the most difficult tasks look simple...

Have you ever had any chemistry with Pisces or Cancer men?

Deb's Mom is a Scorpio, and her Dad is a Cancer. He must act differently when we're not around; otherwise, I don't know how she's kept from wringing his neck! Very moody-broody man - not like my Cancer best friend...

And Missy, before you get all starry-eyed, here's a vignette from Scorpio & Virgo at home:

Debra's threshold for clutter is way higher than mine. When we moved into our country home, she had this habit of always leaving her hair care gadgets out on the vanity, and I would come behind her and put them back in the drawer. After a couple of weeks, she fussed at me about putting things where she couldn't find them. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea to leave electric devices near the sink. She let me know she was a grown woman, and was quite capable of not getting electrocuted. I said it looked messy, and she asked who besides us ever sees our bathroom...

I offered to put up hooks, but she didn't want ugly things like that hanging on the wall. So, I found a nice chrome & glass shelving unit with hooks built into the bottom. She approved, and I mounted it on her side of our double vanity. Now, all her gadgets are where she can get to them quickly, and they're not cluttering the counter top. Problem solved!

A true Scorp, she rarely hangs the same device on the same hook like I would, but at least they're in some kind of order...

I'm sure some of y'all are shouting, OMG! How anal is he??, at your computers; but, you gotta understand Virgos. We don't like disorder. It makes us nervous. That's one thing I loved about the military: So highly organized - a Virgo's dream! A regulation, checklist, and/or published procedure for everything...

Wow you were more anal than my virgo ex. I use to hate how he would take his mouth wash and set it out of line instead of putting it back in line with the bottles in the bathroom. I would never say anything, I would just line it back up again. Next day...same thing. augh!!! He was kind of disorganized. I was the anal cleaning one quite frankly and I freaked him out once because i knew the exact placement of everything in the fridge. Sometimes I would fricken organize the fridge too. I think I was anal for him...he didnt have to be anal.

My Virgo isn't really a neat freak. He has a problem with dust though. LOL! I catch him running his fingers over the TV. or a picture or something. He doesn't realize I'm watching him. I think it's cute. I'm the neat freak of the pair. Even at his house I know where everything is at all times. He has to ask me where something is. The military thing might be true like DyarStra?e said, me and him both are in the military, 2 different branches though.

As far as the Cancer goes. I've dated one and at first it seemed like I couldn't get not one iota of information regarding how he felt, even after 6 months. So, I went my separate way. Then he seemed to turn crazy and wouldn't stop calling, emailing, professing his undying love. Same thing with a Pisces. I just chucked it up to "You don't miss the water till the well runs dry". LOL! Never really thought it had anything to do with their signs. LOL! Makes me wonder now though. :O)

Lol...That's hillarious..this virgo I dated very briefly a couple of years back used to wear a lot of hats....now his hats were hung up on a hook. A hook for each hat all around the room!..lmao..bless you guys....I guess someone needs to be neat. Now I don't mind others doing it for me..but I am extremely lazy and will not look after that business..And yes I will get pretty annoyed if i can't find my things..but I have short bursts of temper..once its out...I am done with it..I don't stew..

Virgo and Scorpio are a very good couple..You ground us, gives us peace of mind..it's very soothing for us otherwise chaotic folk. You are patient..we need that...As for public declarations of love..I am not that type of Scorpio..I can be extremely cold and emotionally distant..so him not calling me for 3 days doesn't bother me...he's gone away for 3 weeks..it's not bothering me..I can't contact him at the moment and i am not flying off the handle..he probably is stressing..but I am sure he will call on new years day from wherever he is..He's very mature and responsible and I love that! I need a rock...He is definitely the type to further my career..he will help in anyway possible..I can see that..he has even offered to help me set up a little enterprise of my own in the near future..lovely guy. The only thing that worries me is that I have a low boredom threshold...

Pisces and Cancer men..No way no thanks..absolutely no way. Can't stand fickle individuals...and having experienced both I can safely say..definitely NOT for future partners. I don't want to wipe anyones bottom for the rest of my life..those boys need to get out of their freakin nappies! Gah I hate them.

Missy,

I'm taking Debra to Inverness in May 2009. We'll use that city as our home base, and strike out across The Highlands (where my Mother's ancestors once roamed - and drank lots of Scotch!). She loves to hike as much as I do, so we're gonna walk our legs off!

Since Debra's heritage is mostly English (nobody's perfect!), we're going to spend our last two days & nights in London. She's the city girl, and I know she's gonna go nuts (shop, shop, shop til I drop!)...

If any of y'all happen to see a beautiful blond petite leading a dark-haired behemoth around by the nose, please keep it on the QT - gotta maintain my DXP anonymity...

I can be extremely cold and emotionally distant..

Really? Debra's not bubbly - certainly not in public! - but she does like a daily call when we're apart. Otherwise, she's very self-sufficient, and doesn't get crazy when we're not giving each other cow eyes every fifteen minutes!

Actually, when we first started dating, and she had me so unhinged, I was the clingier partner - which is not how I am normally...

It took a while for me to settle down - and she was glad for it, too!

Wow!..how cool that you are going to Inverness..you will love all the hiking Dy..that's something I reallly enjoy too. Anything that involves physical activity (yes that too..lol). I walked so much in Scotland had legs of steel!...I wanted to climb Ben Nevis but funnily enough none of my female friends (the real girly types) were up for it!...now had I mentioned buying a new lipstick they would've screeched in proper girly fashion (rolls eyes). But I have a mixture of friends and I know just the type to take to my next holiday. Vietnam & Cambodia..can't wait!

And London..yes she must visit London. I am with you on the whole DXP anonymity otherwise would've taken Debs shopping no problem!. Take her to the new Westfield Shopping Centre in Shepherd Bush west London. You can't miss it. Get out of Shepherds Bush station (on the central line..the red line) and as you come out of the station it's there on the left I think. 2 min walk from station. Or if all else fails, you can't beat Oxford Street/Bond street for the shopping experience. Nothing beats that..love the crowds..I hope you guys have a wonderful time.

I wouldn't say I was emotionally cold but I don't like overbearing displays of emotions and love. I would rather it was done in moderation. A phonecall a day just to see how you are doing etc is just really lovely. I like that too...I get a feeling my Virguy is a bit like you..I can see him smothering me in the first few months..but let's not count the chickens before they are hatched..very early days yet..

Oh just thought I'd give you yet another outdoorsy holiday idea.
One of my taurus friends birthday in May and we are going retro camping in the Pyrenees mountains. I simply cannot wait.

Now to top it all off, it would be great to have Shaka there serenading me with his guitar around a campfire..oooh imagine!..I could stroke his hair..lol..hahaha..ok back to earth..

Heres the link
Camping in France

...it would be great to have Shaka there serenading me with his guitar around a campfire..oooh imagine!..I could stroke his hair...

A-ha!!

Missy loves Virgos, Missy loves Virgos, Missy loves Virgos, Missy loves Virgos ~ Missy loves Virgos!

Just as I suspected!

Damn..Busted!!

It's a love/hate thing..lol..no really!

🙂

Pfffft @ caps...

Yeah...you'll come running...like they all do..LOL..

😉

p.s can you send me a lock of your hair...I wanna audition you for the L'Oreal adverts..LMAO..

Gotta agree with Missy about CAPs... Shaka, are you just a glutton for punishment, or what??

When you're ready to settle down, get yourself a sweet Cancer gal...

I would love someone to help me organize things. As long as they don't get mad when I fail at it.

Im beginning to think that virgs and scorp are very similar, except they are earth and we are water. It's as if we need each other. The water needs somewhere to go, and the earth needs the water to grow.
oh hey, a rhyme.

I have to say, I love talking to virgos.