Showing emotional weakness turn offs a Virgo ? (Page 2)

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**StringsAttached**
@**StringsAttached**
19 Years

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Posted by bluesky
I read once: Only Virgo and Pisces could understand each other and that's why they go along...


That's a joke!! We're polar opposites. I'm opposite them and they're just polar!!

Vindictive, emotionally cold like no other, almost inhuman with their lack of empathy, lacks the ability to see self, irresponsible, ruthlessly blames others while never wrong themselves, and definitely manipulative. Bully- style . This is par for the course for the unevolved or emotionally-scarred Pisces . . . on a good day.
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CLCNY30
@CLCNY30
16 Years1,000+ Posts

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In all honesty, Pisces and Virgo CAN work, if both can step outside of themselves enough not to be so freakin' stereotypical.

The two signs compliment each other, but only when done properly.

They're that science experiment where you have to measure accurately--not a smidge over or under, in order to get a great effect. Anything over or under will produce the usual ground up glass in the food effect, and one partner will end up killing the other.

It's a rare match, in my honest opinion--but I can see how it could work IF both are willing to leave all pretenses behind, not whine/btch/moan/bellyache at each other, try to change the other, and really enjoy what the other person brings to the table while still maintaining their own identity.

I call it the Elusive Unicorn.
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VirgoVixxxen
@VirgoVixxxen
15 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by CLCNY30
In all honesty, Pisces and Virgo CAN work, if both can step outside of themselves enough not to be so freakin' stereotypical.

The two signs compliment each other, but only when done properly.

They're that science experiment where you have to measure accurately--not a smidge over or under, in order to get a great effect. Anything over or under will produce the usual ground up glass in the food effect, and one partner will end up killing the other.

It's a rare match, in my honest opinion--but I can see how it could work IF both are willing to leave all pretenses behind, not whine/btch/moan/bellyache at each other, try to change the other, and really enjoy what the other person brings to the table while still maintaining their own identity.

I call it the Elusive Unicorn.



Well said.

The "measurements" have to be just perfect or things can get really ugly, and fast.
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onix
@onix
14 Years

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There is this one thing I really love about Virgo ... (considering my Virguy) the 'kiddish'ness or being a kid at heart!

Though seldom, but when he does express his joy, happiness, love .... its so pure & genuine... like a child....there's no manipulation or nothing fake !

I adore it 🙂

But I wonder ... why is such expression of emotions so rare ?

Infact in most cases ... I think it is this un-expressiveness of feelings or emotions by a Virgo ... that makes us (the non-Virgo partners) feel kinda left out, unloved or unappreciated ... n confused 😢


I'm definitely not asking for heaps of admiration, compliments or assurances in love .... but a li'l more warmth from Virgo person would make us feel a lot more comfortable !

Isn't it ? 🙂
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VirgoVixxxen
@VirgoVixxxen
15 Years1,000+ Posts

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Onix,

I just got this great book today--Astroanalysis (Virgo) and I love it!

Your many inquiries have just given me a really good excuse to share a few of my favorite passages 🙂 and maybe this might give you better insight but remember, this is just a general description and doesn't necessarily apply to all Virgo males (don't forget about all of the other placements in a chart) as a whole so take what applies, and throw the rest away.


The Virgo Man

"He'll either fascinate you or bore you to death. It depends very definitely on what kind of woman you are. If you are fiery, passionate and want to be swept off your feet into the bedroom or down the aisle-forget it. A Virgo man takes his time. He pussyfoots around the subject of romance as though he were dancing around the maypole. It takes him ages to get to the point. He'll often date a woman for weeks before getting around to a good-night kiss.
But once he's broken the ice with you and feels sure of his ground, you're likely to be pretty busy satisfying his rampant curiosity. This man loves mostly with his mind. He reaches for love through his body but he's never one with it.
Passion and exquisite pain of sensuous longing is something he very seldom experiences. He doesn't know the agony and hopelessness of surrender to unrequited love or the insane abandonment of the lover who gives up all just to get his woman.
Virgo is a cool customer. And that's what can be so fascinating about him. He can resist the most seductive advances-look vaguely interested or glance right through you if he thinks that's likely to do the trick. He's shrewd, analytical. His blood doesn't race, and his heart doesn't pound. Or he is adept at hiding such intensity! The Virgo man is frightfully unsure of himself with the opposite sex. He just doesn't know how to deal with passion. He's a guy who's basically self- centered. He can't take and he can't give-he's emotionally straightjacketed. He's too selfish to offer himself and too cautious to demand the surrender of another. Frankly, he wouldn't know what to do with a woman who gave him her soul as well as her body.
All this makes him very different from the usual hot-blooded male. To many women, he's a refreshing change. And he does play the flirting game delightfully. This he understands. He's a glib talker when he gets going, yet honest as the day is long.
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VirgoVixxxen
@VirgoVixxxen
15 Years1,000+ Posts

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(Cont)

"A woman can't help but be struck by his lack of male egotism. He doesn't want to dominate her, conquer her. Yet what is it about this fellow that gets to so many women?
Virgo hates all kinds of public demonstrations, especially emotional ones. He is acutely embarrassed if a lover kisses or hugs him in front of his friends. He'll never speak to her again if she persists in such demonstrations. He reckons romance is something only two people share-and that they should express it in privacy. He's a great stickler for form and and tradition.
If he starts courting you, you can expect all the traditional overtures-red roses, boxes of chocolates, Valentine cards, a very important and correct meeting with his family. He's the perfect gentleman, as a rule, and he'll want your family's consent before he marries you. He's such a straightforward, clean-looking, reliable, upright chap that your parents will think him excellent son-in-law material.
He hates vulgarity and can't stand a woman who's sloppy or careless in her dress or habits. He is very punctual and expects everyone else to be on time. He mightn't say much if you've offended him, but you'll certainly feel the temperature rapidly dropping to zero minus five.
He's one of the most critical people you'll ever meet. He can make the most damning personal observations in about three words. And the trouble is he's often right that and honest woman just can't answer back.
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onix
@onix
14 Years

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Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Onix,

I just got this great book today--Astroanalysis (Virgo) and I love it!

Your many inquiries have just given me a really good excuse to share a few of my favorite passages 🙂 and maybe this might give you better insight but remember, this is just a general description and doesn't necessarily apply to all Virgo males (don't forget about all of the other placements in a chart) as a whole so take what applies, and throw the rest away.




Hey thanks a lot VirgoV. for putting up this very insightful info about Virgo men .... ima copy-paste-save in my documents now 🙂

I know every individual is supposed to be different & unique .... but still having some knowledge about their common behavior & traits always helps !

Cheers!
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**StringsAttached**
@**StringsAttached**
19 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 429 · Topics: 12
Posted by onix
but a li'l more warmth from Virgo person would make us feel a lot more comfortable!



Have you outright expressed this? If a (mature, emotionally-evolved) Virgo knows that his withholding emotion is putting you in deficit, this will likely leave him feeling "insufficient"--which we hate, and for his need to be "up to par" alone, he's likely to want to satisfy the deficit.
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**StringsAttached**
@**StringsAttached**
19 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 429 · Topics: 12
Posted by VirgoVixxxen
The Virgo Man

"He'll either fascinate you or bore you to death.


Agreed.


Posted by VirgoVixxxen
The Virgo Man

This man loves mostly with his mind.


You better highlight, underscore, and circle this!


Posted by VirgoVixxxen

Passion and exquisite pain of sensuous longing is something he very seldom experiences. He doesn't know the agony and hopelessness of surrender to unrequited love or the insane abandonment of the lover who gives up all just to get his woman.


The expression of passion is generally held off until he's very comfortable with you, but I hesitate to agree that he "seldom experiences it" as well as not knowing the agony or "insane abandonment" of the lover who gives up all. Clearly, they don't "insanely" abandon anything. They do it slowly, over a period of time, one building block after another until one day you look and, lo and behold, you have this concretely-established building of love, trust, admiration, etc. This doesn't come about in a whimsical, "insane," passion-driven way, but it's far more durable and secure of a structure, in my opinion, in the long run b/c there's an "insane" amount of thought, calculation, and decision behind it, lol.


Posted by VirgoVixxxen

His blood doesn't race, and his heart doesn't pound. Or he is adept at hiding such intensity!
click to expand


Bull hockey on the first sentence. AMEN! to the second one, lol. I'm a nervous wreck when dealing with a love interest and can often be found at "high pitch" within--my meter dials racing all over the place--although I may not be showing this on the outside. (And you can bet I'll be struggling to keep him from noticing . . . until the time is right.) 🙂
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**StringsAttached**
@**StringsAttached**
19 Years

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Posted by VirgoVixxxen

He just doesn't know how to deal with passion.

Intense passion (at first) throws us off course (I'm speaking as a woman, mind you) and shakes our foundations. It rivets us so strongly and, being mind-people not so given to emotional expressions, this "undoes" us and requires that all the heat and intensity housed at our core be given vent . . . which is something that leaves us intensely vulnerable. Once we're comfortable with the "landscape" and we've had time to "adjust" to the climate, however, we can generally unleash as well as any other. It's just a matter of how and when we get there. We're nearly ALWAYS in "reserved" mode, but we DO long to unleash our passion and burst forth with utter abandon. Doing so simply unnerves us until we feel totally comfortable with the idea/our love interest.


Posted by VirgoVixxxen
He can't take and he can't give-he's emotionally straightjacketed. He's too selfish to offer himself and too cautious to demand the surrender of another. Frankly, he wouldn't know what to do with a woman who gave him her soul as well as her body.
click to expand



A bit of truth, a bit of error. I resent the mention: "he can't take and he can't give." Virgo's can be exceptionally giving people, but we don't give freely to just anyone or everyone with bursts of generosity. Again, we're held in check until we feel sure that our giving will be well-received and properly appreciated, so to speak. Virgo man may have a bit more difficulty with this than Virgo woman (?), but I venture to say that if his subject is a giving, loving person who is appreciative of his efforts to give of himself and voices this, she will only prompt and encourage more of his giving nature. We give where it's appreciated and reciprocated; we don't (ultimately) where it isn't.

As far as the emotional straitjacket, I can agree up to a point. So many things of Virgo can be said —AT THE BEGINNING.?? It takes time to weave one's way into our hearts, we're incredibly cautious of the creature who even attempts this, and it can prove a taxing journey. But once we're confident of their love, all bets are off and we settle into the idea that this person has secured a stronghold over us.

(Continued)
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**StringsAttached**
@**StringsAttached**
19 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 429 · Topics: 12
comfortable with that, we —grant?? them access to deeper levels of ourselves. This is done slowly, with MUCH deliberation, and over a period of time so that once we consent to this, we're far more at ease than we were at the beginning. Once we feel betrayed or taken for granted after this point, on goes the straitjacket again (in fact, CLANG goes the vault door!) . . . either until the issue has been reconciled or permanently, depending on the situation.

—He's too selfish to offer himself and too cautious to demand the surrender of another.?? Lemme tell ya right now if he's too selfish to offer himself, you've got yourself a bum deal and you need to let go of him QUICK! (If you think he's worth the effort, you may attempt to help him open up, as he may simply be in Reserved Mode. If multiple attempts at this have failed, however, pitch him back in the water.)
And lemme tell ya something else, we DEMAND your surrender unequivocally! 😄 We??ll wind up giving you our whole heart if we deem you worthy, so you better be prepared to give yours, b/c it's for sure we??ll settle for nothing less!!


Posted by VirgoVixxxen
He is acutely embarrassed if a lover kisses or hugs him in front of his friends. He'll never speak to her again if she persists in such demonstrations. He reckons romance is something only two people share-and that they should express it in privacy.


Huh— I've never minded PDA's and have instigated many myself, as long as they're discreet and "tasteful" (lol, pardon the pun). No french-kissing in front of others, but embraces, pats, and socially-acceptable kisses are right up my alley!


Posted by VirgoVixxxen
He mightn't say much if you've offended him, but you'll certainly feel the temperature rapidly dropping to zero minus five.
click to expand


LOL! (True!)
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capbaby
@capbaby
15 Years

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Posted by **StringsAttached**
Posted by onix
but a li'l more warmth from Virgo person would make us feel a lot more comfortable!



Have you outright expressed this? If a (mature, emotionally-evolved) Virgo knows that his withholding emotion is putting you in deficit, this will likely leave him feeling "insufficient"--which we hate, and for his need to be "up to par" alone, he's likely to want to satisfy the deficit.
click to expand




-agree!
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CLCNY30
@CLCNY30
16 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by **StringsAttached**
Posted by onix
but a li'l more warmth from Virgo person would make us feel a lot more comfortable!



Have you outright expressed this? If a (mature, emotionally-evolved) Virgo knows that his withholding emotion is putting you in deficit, this will likely leave him feeling "insufficient"--which we hate, and for his need to be "up to par" alone, he's likely to want to satisfy the deficit.
click to expand




Wow...this is deep. I agree.
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onix
@onix
14 Years

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Posted by **StringsAttached**
Posted by onix
but a li'l more warmth from Virgo person would make us feel a lot more comfortable!



Have you outright expressed this? If a (mature, emotionally-evolved) Virgo knows that his withholding emotion is putting you in deficit, this will likely leave him feeling "insufficient"--which we hate, and for his need to be "up to par" alone, he's likely to want to satisfy the deficit.
click to expand





I have often given him hints about this .... I thought I might sound like am accusing him if I say it directly ... now I think I should tell him this in a friendly way ...
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**StringsAttached**
@**StringsAttached**
19 Years

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Posted by capbaby
Posted by **StringsAttached**
Have you outright expressed this? If a (mature, emotionally-evolved) Virgo . . . he's likely to want to satisfy the deficit.


-agree!


Posted by CLCNY30
Posted by **StringsAttached**
Have you outright expressed this? If a (mature, emotionally-evolved) Virgo . . . he's likely to want to satisfy the deficit.



Wow...this is deep. I agree.
click to expand



What?? Capbaby and CLCNY agreeing on the same thing?! Is this a first? 😛
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**StringsAttached**
@**StringsAttached**
19 Years

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Posted by onix
I have often given him hints about this .... I thought I might sound like am accusing him if I say it directly ... now I think I should tell him this in a friendly way ...



We respond well to words like: "I appreciate [it when you . . . ] . . . It makes me feel . . . " That way, we feel appreciated and not reproved, and we can identify with the fact that you you feel good (and that we're making you feel good) and that we have something in our person that you need/want. So if he has opened up in the past--even a wee bit--point that out [*see below] and let him know how good it made you feel and how much you appreciate it and love that aspect about him. Then continue to open up more yourself and, if he's got any sense, he'll follow along. It's a matter of luring the cat out of the box with the string. 😉

*Not preferable: "I appreciated it when you opened up the other day and shared your innermost feelings with me and let me see who's really in there. It made me feel closer to you and like I wanted to see even more."

*Preferable: "I appreciated it when you shared with me the other day about how [losing that job opportunity affected you, etc.]. It felt nice just to know how you were feeling; I really enjoy getting to know you better/seeing that side of you."

CAUTIOUS VIRGO WILL APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT TO REVEAL MORE OF YOURSELF FIRST! It will help to lay a foundation of security so he won't feel so jeopardized for divulging his secret self if you haven't already. We fear being taken advantage of after exposing our "treasury," and your willingness to do so first (or at least to take the torch after we've walked that planked part of the way) will help comfort our mind that you're in it for love's sake and not to get what you can from us and hike outta there. This may not seem fair, but it's incredibly calming to us (and aphrodisiacal, lol). Plus, I hear most men prefer this order anyway, being more naturally prone to closure than disclosure.

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**StringsAttached**
@**StringsAttached**
19 Years

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(Continued)

VIRGO LOVES TO SEE PAST YOUR VENEER!! We're aroused by intrigue and mystery (don't believe those sites that tell you Virgo men don't like mystery!), and when we peer into your emotional vault and see that you are divulging your inner self w/o fear of consequence, it loosens us up to do the same and leaves us feeling all the closer to you. Sometimes we WILL take the step first (well, hey, I'm a female), but the more we see your willingness to share your deeper self, the more we're encouraged to "step out" and do likewise.
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onix
@onix
14 Years

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Posted by **StringsAttached**
Posted by onix
I have often given him hints about this .... I thought I might sound like am accusing him if I say it directly ... now I think I should tell him this in a friendly way ...



We respond well to words like: "I appreciate [it when you . . . ] . . . It makes me feel . . . " That way, we feel appreciated and not reproved, and we can identify with the fact that you you feel good (and that we're making you feel good) and that we have something in our person that you need/want. So if he has opened up in the past--even a wee bit--point that out [*see below] and let him know how good it made you feel and how much you appreciate it and love that aspect about him. Then continue to open up more yourself and, if he's got any sense, he'll follow along. It's a matter of luring the cat out of the box with the string. 😉

*Not preferable: "I appreciated it when you opened up the other day and shared your innermost feelings with me and let me see who's really in there. It made me feel closer to you and like I wanted to see even more."

*Preferable: "I appreciated it when you shared with me the other day about how [losing that job opportunity affected you, etc.]. It felt nice just to know how you were feeling; I really enjoy getting to know you better/seeing that side of you."

CAUTIOUS VIRGO WILL APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT TO REVEAL MORE OF YOURSELF FIRST! It will help to lay a foundation of security so he won't feel so jeopardized for divulging his secret self if you haven't already. We fear being taken advantage of after exposing our "treasury," and your willingness to do so first (or at least to take the torch after we've walked that planked part of the way) will help comfort our mind that you're in it for love's sake and not to get what you can from us and hike outta there. This may not seem fair, but it's incredibly calming to us (and aphrodisiacal, lol). Plus, I hear most men prefer this order anyway, being more naturally prone to closure than disclosure.

click to expand





Thanks a lot dear for sharing this much needed guidance about approaching him properly ... am gonna try it 🙂
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capbaby
@capbaby
15 Years

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Posted by onix
Posted by **StringsAttached**
Posted by onix
I have often given him hints about this .... I thought I might sound like am accusing him if I say it directly ... now I think I should tell him this in a friendly way ...



We respond well to words like: "I appreciate [it when you . . . ] . . . It makes me feel . . . " That way, we feel appreciated and not reproved, and we can identify with the fact that you you feel good (and that we're making you feel good) and that we have something in our person that you need/want. So if he has opened up in the past--even a wee bit--point that out [*see below] and let him know how good it made you feel and how much you appreciate it and love that aspect about him. Then continue to open up more yourself and, if he's got any sense, he'll follow along. It's a matter of luring the cat out of the box with the string. 😉

*Not preferable: "I appreciated it when you opened up the other day and shared your innermost feelings with me and let me see who's really in there. It made me feel closer to you and like I wanted to see even more."

*Preferable: "I appreciated it when you shared with me the other day about how [losing that job opportunity affected you, etc.]. It felt nice just to know how you were feeling; I really enjoy getting to know you better/seeing that side of you."

CAUTIOUS VIRGO WILL APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT TO REVEAL MORE OF YOURSELF FIRST! It will help to lay a foundation of security so he won't feel so jeopardized for divulging his secret self if you haven't already. We fear being taken advantage of after exposing our "treasury," and your willingness to do so first (or at least to take the torch after we've walked that planked part of the way) will help comfort our mind that you're in it for love's sake and not to get what you can from us and hike outta there. This may not seem fair, but it's incredibly calming to us (and aphrodisiacal, lol). Plus, I hear most men prefer this order anyway, being more naturally prone to closure than disclosure.




Thanks a lot dear for sharing this much needed guidance about approaching him properly ... am gonna try it 🙂
click to expand




I totall
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**StringsAttached**
@**StringsAttached**
19 Years

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^^^^This is exactly why it's not favorable for one to post entire quote boxes in order to reference a mere line or two of writing: (1) The reader doesn't know what specific part you're referring to and is not going to bother re-reading a long post they just read anyway, and (2)DXP has a character limit per message and, um, your message will get cut off.

Case in point: we have no idea what Capbaby was trying to say . . . except "I totally." 😉