virgox2blouowe
@virgox2blouowe
13 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 17 · Topics: 4
Silly Virgo Man. Confusing??
Also are our charts good together?
I'm used to the push pull thing now still makes me mad and wonder. I'm also a virgo. So when he pulls I think of all these negative things and think I should just move on but by then he always gets ahold of me. Drives me crazy but I love him so much! Hope someone can help us out.
I understand completely. I wish sometimes I could walk away but it's much to hard.
When he pulls/disappers. He wont text back or respond at all. I've told him numerous times i hate when he doesnt respond and he just says I'm just busy. I want to be like well no one is that busy that they cant check in once a day.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
I think modern technology might give people too much to worry about sometimes, it's not the end of the world if someone doesn't check in daily.
I agree 100% !!!
Okay now he is doing the push thing. Ugh I thought things were getting better. I guess I was wrong. He spent the night with me 2 nights ago. We had a really good night. He even spent time with my youngest daughter for the first time ever. Now its been 2days and the only thing he has texted me was he has his son which I know he took him home today. Why is he like this from time to time. Im so confused.
I don't get why you're so confused. He texts you, ok now what? Did you think he'd blow your phone up & since he didn't you're pissed? What do you want really?
I've only ever met inconsistent Virgos when they're not all that interested.
It boggles my mind how many people come to DXP to complain about their Virgo significant other doing this...
Virgox,
Can you explain to me what you consider consistent?
I feel like Virgos have a very different idea of what consistency means so a lot of times, it does not align with the kinds of consistency a lot of females seek so it creates all these crazy tensions and discontentment...
If you can, also provide with a timeline of times he contacted/connected with you, no matter which style of communication he uses. This will help me give you clarity and comparison.
It boggles my mind how many people come to DXP to complain about their Virgo significant other doing this...
Virgox,
Can you explain to me what you consider consistent?
I feel like Virgos have a very different idea of what consistency means so a lot of times, it does not align with the kinds of consistency a lot of females seek so it creates all these crazy tensions and discontentment...
If you can, also provide with a timeline of times he contacted/connected with you, no matter which style of communication he uses. This will help me give you clarity and comparison.
Any time the connection is inconsistent, meaning one person wants more connection and the other person wants/needs less connection it's not going to work long term unless the person that needs more (you) slow all the way down so your partner can catch up with you.
A red flag for me is that he doesn't answer you back, ignoring a partner can mean several things and non of them are good.
The problem isn't the push/pull dynamic, I know how irritating and annoying this behavior is, the problem is you because you tolerate this kind of behavior, he's just being himself, doing what he wants to do and consciously creating an invisible boundary that you can't cross, you're either down with that or your not and staying in the relationship says TO HIM I'm down with that.
If you stay it's giving him the greenlight to do exactly what he's doing, you may nag, moan and complain about it but you're not doing anything about it, when you put up with any behavior you deem is inappropriate you're non-verbally saying to him HE COMES FIRST and you come last and once that message is received by him it'll never stop and thus it's YOU creating the problem by tolerating behavior that doesn't line up with what you want for yourself, if his behavior isn't something you like then you should consider putting you first so he can learn THAT'S IT NOT ALL ABOUT HIM HIM HIM, he'll also learn how to treat you but as of right now he's learning he can ignore you and get away with it, you're teaching him it's okay to consciously ignore you essentially ENABLING the behavior to go on.
If you can't leave then you definitely have to make him less of a priority which means reprioritizing him from first to last which can help you slow down and possibly create a dynamic were he gives more of himself to the relationship not because you need or want him to but because it's just something he wants to do for himself which benefits the both of you.
A red flag for me is that he doesn't answer you back, ignoring a partner can mean several things and non of them are good.
The problem isn't the push/pull dynamic, I know how irritating and annoying this behavior is, the problem is you because you tolerate this kind of behavior, he's just being himself, doing what he wants to do and consciously creating an invisible boundary that you can't cross, you're either down with that or your not and staying in the relationship says TO HIM I'm down with that.
If you stay it's giving him the greenlight to do exactly what he's doing, you may nag, moan and complain about it but you're not doing anything about it, when you put up with any behavior you deem is inappropriate you're non-verbally saying to him HE COMES FIRST and you come last and once that message is received by him it'll never stop and thus it's YOU creating the problem by tolerating behavior that doesn't line up with what you want for yourself, if his behavior isn't something you like then you should consider putting you first so he can learn THAT'S IT NOT ALL ABOUT HIM HIM HIM, he'll also learn how to treat you but as of right now he's learning he can ignore you and get away with it, you're teaching him it's okay to consciously ignore you essentially ENABLING the behavior to go on.
If you can't leave then you definitely have to make him less of a priority which means reprioritizing him from first to last which can help you slow down and possibly create a dynamic were he gives more of himself to the relationship not because you need or want him to but because it's just something he wants to do for himself which benefits the both of you.
Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
I've only ever met inconsistent Virgos when they're not all that interested.
It boggles my mind how many people come to DXP to complain about their Virgo significant other doing this...
+1
I don't feel this is about push/pull more than it's about 2 different levels of interest and because she's more interested in him an imbalance is created that looks like push/pull, her interest in him isn't reciprocal so it appears he "gives" less. All is not lost, just slow down, pump your brakes, get a new hobby, do something that keeps you very busy so you won't feel neglected.
Posted by virgox2blouowe
My chart
Sun- Virgo
Moon-Virgo
Mercury- Libra
Venus-Libra
Mars-Virgo
Hey, we have the same chart.
Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
I've only ever met inconsistent Virgos when they're not all that interested.
It boggles my mind how many people come to DXP to complain about their Virgo significant other doing this...
Virgox,
Can you explain to me what you consider consistent?
I feel like Virgos have a very different idea of what consistency means so a lot of times, it does not align with the kinds of consistency a lot of females seek so it creates all these crazy tensions and discontentment...
If you can, also provide with a timeline of times he contacted/connected with you, no matter which style of communication he uses. This will help me give you clarity and comparison.
We've been talking for over a year. When we first stared talking it was everyday all day. Then it cooled off a normal. We hangout atleast twice a month. But I have three kids. And he works/kids/ and coach's. But the thing that bugs me alot is that when we do see eachother we talk and talk about everything from a-z. He told me for the first time he loves me but is scared. I asked him if I was more then a friend and he was like well yeah way more then that. He always wants me to look at him like always he tells me he loves looking in my eyes and loves my smile. I just always think about negative things when I dont hear from him for more then a couple of day. Ok back to the scared thing WHY is he scared? I know his last relationship was crappy but that was 2 years ago.
Posted by usernamePosted by virgox2blouowe
My chart
Sun- Virgo
Moon-Virgo
Mercury- Libra
Venus-Libra
Mars-Virgo
Hey, we have the same chart.click to expand
Cool! Whens ur DOB
Being vulnerable is scary, look at how you're behaving, look at how you appear to him as if you're needy of him when he's not around, it appears as if you're scared too, being scared is not attractive, being scared makes a person appear like he fumbles through life without a clue, being scared turns people off, being scared renders a person incapable of making good decisions, it's not just the love thing he's avoiding, he's avoiding BEING SCARED, a man can't do what he has to do if he's living in la la land & being scared, he just can't cope with life effectively being that way.
He doesn't want to become dependent because that gives the other person a certain amount of power and control over him, he actually see you letting go and how needy that makes you appear and a man will AVOID that at all cost, he won't allow himself to feel needy and dependent on a person for love, part of that is b/c it's not attractive behavior and makes him feel less in control over his own life, men (a huge majority) see this whole love thing differently than women.
He doesn't want to become dependent because that gives the other person a certain amount of power and control over him, he actually see you letting go and how needy that makes you appear and a man will AVOID that at all cost, he won't allow himself to feel needy and dependent on a person for love, part of that is b/c it's not attractive behavior and makes him feel less in control over his own life, men (a huge majority) see this whole love thing differently than women.
That is considered consistent, Virgox.
He's consistently there for you, consistently expresses his feelings for you. You, on the other hand, are still hung up on the blissful stage of the courtship but he's already moved into the comfort zone. It seems like the issue has to do more with your own insecurities than it does with him. It seems a little bit unrealistic to expect so much attention from someone who has the kinds of responsibilities he does: work/kids/coaching. I'm not saying that you don't deserve what you need, of course you do, but I don't see how he can provide doting attention on you with his schedule?
As for scared, believe it. I met my Virgo when I was 25 years old and he was still scared from a terrible relationship that ended 8 years before when he was 16 yrs old! Part of our relationship was so chaotic because of this, lots of push and pull. This is a very common theme with Virgos. They feel pain very very deeply and do not take relationships lightly, so when it ends terribly, the pain is often unbearable for them and haunts them for an extremely long time. It really is unfortunate for the next person who loves them because you have to work very hard to teach them to let go, to trust, and to love again. It's like teaching someone to get over a fear, it's very real and you can't deny that fact even if it doesn't make sense to you, but that fear is there and you have to show them why it's irrational so that they can get over it. So they're definitely not lying when they say they are scared (scared
He's consistently there for you, consistently expresses his feelings for you. You, on the other hand, are still hung up on the blissful stage of the courtship but he's already moved into the comfort zone. It seems like the issue has to do more with your own insecurities than it does with him. It seems a little bit unrealistic to expect so much attention from someone who has the kinds of responsibilities he does: work/kids/coaching. I'm not saying that you don't deserve what you need, of course you do, but I don't see how he can provide doting attention on you with his schedule?
As for scared, believe it. I met my Virgo when I was 25 years old and he was still scared from a terrible relationship that ended 8 years before when he was 16 yrs old! Part of our relationship was so chaotic because of this, lots of push and pull. This is a very common theme with Virgos. They feel pain very very deeply and do not take relationships lightly, so when it ends terribly, the pain is often unbearable for them and haunts them for an extremely long time. It really is unfortunate for the next person who loves them because you have to work very hard to teach them to let go, to trust, and to love again. It's like teaching someone to get over a fear, it's very real and you can't deny that fact even if it doesn't make sense to you, but that fear is there and you have to show them why it's irrational so that they can get over it. So they're definitely not lying when they say they are scared (scared
Told mine he either has both feet in the door or he doesn't and dont expect me to wait around forever. (aries rising.. what can I say). From that point on, hes had both feet in the door and asked me to marry him. Virgos cant lead a relationship..you have to.
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Moon-Virgo
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Venus-Libra
Mars-Virgo
His Chart
Sun- Virgo
Moon- Pisces
Mercury- Libra
Venus- Leo
Mars- Scorpio