Someone please help me! I need some advice!?

Me and my now former virgo boyfriend have been together for a little over four months now. He's a really good guy. He cares a lot of about me and he treats me like an absolute queen but I have some major trust issues due to my horrible past and history with guys and he can't seem to get past it and I can't seem to let go and trust guys. I try not to bring my past and trust issues into the relationship but it ends up coming out anyway. He tried to be patient with me but the other day after I asked him why it didn't show on his facebook that we were in a relationship, so he took a snapshot of his facebook page from his phone and sent it to me showing that it does say he's in a relationship. That was the last straw for him though he got mad and broke up with me. He said "all we do is argue now and all you do is accuse me of cheating and you don't trust me. I've done nothing to you for you not to trust me. All I do is treat you like a princess because that's what you deserve. You clearly don't know me if I've already told you about my past and how I would cheat on a woman because I know how it feels to be cheated on. And it isn't fair to me that I have to pay for what some other guy did to you. I've had enough. I go to school almost full time and I work almost full time and you also get mad when I can't make time to drive out to see you. You told me in the beginning that you were gonna be understanding of all of this but obviously you're not. My life is too stressful enough. And you're obviously not ready to be in a relationship right now so this isn't permanent but I'm gonna take a step back and end this for now until you get your insecurities and yourself." I'm really confused and I don't know what to think anymore. I'm mad because he just gave up on me but at the same time I guess I know where he's coming from. I have been I guess accusing him of small things and in my heart I know he's faithful but my head is playing tricks on me and telling me otherwise. I don't know why I can't seem to get past my insecurities but it's ruining my relationship. I don't know if I should give him space or woman up and admit I was wrong or if I even am wrong... can someone please give me some insight? because I'm lost and confused.

OMG you poor dear woman....the Virgos are going to "eat" you alive........tsk...tsk....don't feel too bad though
To be honest, you both are to blame for the demise of your relationship.

1st. You clearly are not healthy enough mentally and emotionally to be in relationship because without
Trust, what do you have??... my point exactly ....you have what u do right now "nothing ".

2nd. When you disclosed your past and insecurities to him in the very beginning, he should have ran
for the hills...but instead he volunteered to try to "save you". He should have known better...

Unfortunately for you, he does know better now and has decided to "run for the hills" now.....better late
than never I guess.

Take timeout to address the issues of insecurity and trust that you have with men and once you
Can truly trust again.....jump back "on the saddle again! " and ride that "horse" as far as it will take you!

Good luck!
🙂

So should I just give him some space to think or should I open up about my past so he could get where I'm coming from? I've never opened up to any guy so I think if I do then it'll help me heal. Do you guys think that'll be a good idea. I'm just trying to save my relationship.

I'm honestly ready to move past my trust issues. I haven't been in a relationship for like 2 years just dating. We've both been through a lot with past relationships and I'm seriously ready to give him the relationship that we both deserve. I can't take this feeling of loss anymore. He broke it off on Wednesday and its only Friday.. It's only been a few days but the empty void in my chest is killing me. I haven't heard from him since wednesday either. I'd rather have blind faith and in him and trust than to lose him. I'm trying to be strong here and I'm planning on apologizing soon I just don't know when I should. Do you think sunday is too soon? :/

Is he capable of meeting your emotional needs?
What is your motivation here? Do you need a security blanket? If you're not ready for this you will always self sabotage.

Trying to have a relationship in your position is like trying to leave the House without unlocking the door.
Something fundamental needs to change for things to work.

You need to address the hard stuff rather than comforting yourself. It's like putting a band aid on a broken leg. I
Repeayed failure is also no good for you.

Get therapy

Thanks EvileDNA and thanks to everyone else who responded. I am planning on getting therapy.

So the update is: I sent him a long well thought out text saying that I'm truly sorry and I'm truly ready to trust him but he's just not having it anymore. His response "I appreciate you taking time to think things over but people don't change overnight. These last few days of being apart has made realize that I'm not looking for a relationship. I have too much going on in my life and I'm just not ready anymore. I do care about you and I'm not trying to hurt you. Hopefully you can take something from this for future dating. We'll still talk and stuff, we won't be strangers but I'm not ready for anything right now. Just focus on working on yourself."

I understand where he's coming from but I'm just in shock, pain, and in sadness. I know he needs his space because begging him to stay and telling him I've changed isn't gonna work. Idk what else to do to get him back. Hopefully if I do the whole "no contact" thing and let him breathe for a few weeks that it'll bring him back. This is exactly what I was afraid and trying to prevent but guess I brought this upon myself... self fulfilling prophesy.

I am happy with myself. And I was happy with the relationship. I just wasn't happy with not knowing what I wanted to do with my life like career wise and that stressed me out. I guess yeah I took it out on him sometimes in a way. And he probably felt like it just "wasn't the right time". And as for the trusting part well I'm young, I'm learning, and I'll get over it. I've dealt with a lot for being just in my early 20's but now I realize that I'm tired of playing the "victim" of past lies and deceit. I can easily fix this problem but now I feel like he just gave up on the whole aspect of a relationship. I'm still badly hurt and I believe that I deserve a second chance but there nothing I can do about that. So now I'm just patiently hoping for the best. He goes on his break from school in two weeks so I'm just gonna give him his space to finish the school term and hope that everything will have cooled off by then. We were together for a little over four months. Do you think that's long enough to have established enough feeling where he'd actually miss me and consider coming back or was it too short of a relationship?

So today there was a little emergency in his area so I just called him to see if he was ok. I didn't want to but I care about him and I was worried. So he was just said that everything was fine and that he was ok. I tried my best to sound all nonchalant on the phone and he sounded perfectly fine and chipper on the phone so it just sucks. I feel like I'm the only one hurting. Anyway after the call he texted me a few minutes later and asked how I was doing and if I was ok. I said "yea everything's good" and then he texted back "Why are you all short with me" and then I replied "Because I just hopped on the freeway. I'll text you later" he replied "Peace." and that was it. What the hell was that about?? He seems so composed and at ease and I'm over dying. I'm trying my best to bite my tongue and be strong. I'm so confused. Why the small talk?

Posted by Lenore0908
The Mastery of Love audiobook is on youtube, I would listen to that before contacting him again

wow I've read some of the book already and this is by far better than therapy. This book is like an eye opener and is allowing me to heal from deep within. I've always been into spirituality but I just haven't applied it to my life lately but since I've already kinda known some of this stuff I'm able to understand it faster. But thank you for this!

And thanks to everyone else who replied. I know I should probably move on but I just can't right now or not that I can't but I don't want to. I'm not gonna "wait" around for him but I'm not just gonna give up and move on either. If he does come back then I believe we can both work on this and if he doesn't well that's fine too as long as I tried. He actually called me yesterday after he got off work and we were making small talk so maybe that's a little progress but I'm not expecting anything out of it. Only time will tell but I've got no more expectations.

just go on. maybe you could still be friends with him in the meantime. you know, love can move mountains. how much more two people? lol. the thing is, i don't think it's your fault how you developed trust issues. i agree with everyone that you have to deal with these issues first before entering into a relationship. but i also think that you're never to blame. keep that in mind. 🙂

Ok guys so here's an update and I'm not sure how I feel about this..
He's been calling/texting me lately and wanted to meet up to talk about the situation face to face. So we met up and he said that he wanted to take a step back to give us both time to re-evaluate the relationship and that putting a label on us changed everything for the worse. He said that he still doesn't want to just jump back into a relationship with me because he's not ready/doesn't want to be in one for right now. He cares a lot about me and wants to still continue "seeing" me and he's not into anyone else, doesn't want to talk/date/flirt etc. with anyone else so pretty much being committed without the label. I don't know how I feel about this because I've never done this before. It doesn't make any sense.. it's like we already act like a couple might as well put the damn label on it again but whatever. And we haven't slept together so I know he's not just using me.. he does genuinely care but I just feel that if I give him all the benefits of being in a relationship without the title then I may never get the title back:/ almost like a convenience for him. I really care about him but this wasn't how I pictured it. Has anyone been in a similar situation or am I just wasting my time? I'm confused as to what to say or do again.