Taking Advantage Of A Virgo (Page 3)

Posted by grinch33344
Lol! Yeah that won't be cool. Well I hope she found some way to get around her situation and won't bug you anymore...

She said she was def. getting her car on the first. Hopefully there's no hitch in that plan, and I do wish her luck, but this makes me wary to help another classmate out (-_-)

No Pisces.
I think there's a Libra in one of those houses on the bottom of my charts.

You shouldn't be wary about helping someone else out. You just have to set/state your boundaries next time. Not every person is going to latch on to you, and if they do, you have the power to walk away or to break ties. Helping people shouldn't be something that weighs upon you, because then what's even the point of considering it? Just go with your instincts and whatnot.

Posted by Candeh15
You shouldn't be wary about helping someone else out. You just have to set/state your boundaries next time. Not every person is going to latch on to you, and if they do, you have the power to walk away or to break ties. Helping people shouldn't be something that weighs upon you, because then what's even the point of considering it? Just go with your instincts and whatnot.

That would feel so weird to me though...

"Listen, I'll help you out but just this once. Please don't ask again..."

Sounds so harsh...

I hear you though...I need to hold off until I know someone well enough to KNOW they'll not overstep boundaries. Until then, I'll just have to say no from the jump.

Posted by CLCNY30

Posted by Candeh15
You shouldn't be wary about helping someone else out. You just have to set/state your boundaries next time. Not every person is going to latch on to you, and if they do, you have the power to walk away or to break ties. Helping people shouldn't be something that weighs upon you, because then what's even the point of considering it? Just go with your instincts and whatnot.

That would feel so weird to me though...

"Listen, I'll help you out but just this once. Please don't ask again..."

Sounds so harsh...

I hear you though...I need to hold off until I know someone well enough to KNOW they'll not overstep boundaries. Until then, I'll just have to say no from the jump.

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I know it's weird. It's you trying to protect yourself from that "that" asshole lol. No one wants to be that person. And even if you love helping out (I know I do too), if it really does begin to cause problems for you, then you have to find a way to work something out. I love helping too; shit, I go out of my way to do things for people just because I can, but I do try to keep myself from awkward positions like this.

This woman is a special case I believe, and while there may be times where this could happen again, I don't think you'll always be in this situation from now on.

Posted by Candeh15

Posted by CLCNY30

Posted by Candeh15
You shouldn't be wary about helping someone else out. You just have to set/state your boundaries next time. Not every person is going to latch on to you, and if they do, you have the power to walk away or to break ties. Helping people shouldn't be something that weighs upon you, because then what's even the point of considering it? Just go with your instincts and whatnot.

That would feel so weird to me though...

"Listen, I'll help you out but just this once. Please don't ask again..."

Sounds so harsh...

I hear you though...I need to hold off until I know someone well enough to KNOW they'll not overstep boundaries. Until then, I'll just have to say no from the jump.

I know it's weird. It's you trying to protect yourself from that "that" asshole lol. No one wants to be that person. And even if you love helping out (I know I do too), if it really does begin to cause problems for you, then you have to find a way to work something out. I love helping too; shit, I go out of my way to do things for people just because I can, but I do try to keep myself from awkward positions like this.

This woman is a special case I believe, and while there may be times where this could happen again, I don't think you'll always be in this situation from now on.

click to expand

I understand. Definitely never want to be in this position again.

Thanks for listening, every one.

Posted by CLCNY30
Hurry up and bring back Matt. Your repitition is as eye-rolling as I'm sure you are in bed.

(repetition* Also, not everything is about sex. And people who only know how to insult others with sex related terms have no credibility.)

I have more important things to do with my life than sit around a computer and wait for a girl to "try" and insult me after I give my opinion on your unneeded thread about why God hates puppies.

1. Name is Mattofla. Matt Of Louisiana. Yes, I am from Louisiana. Be sure to send me the video of you making a pig call and snorting to yourself. No, I don't own an alligator.

2. Generally when you do *wait* after a post, you don't add 5 more posts afterward with no one replying.

3. More random insults to P and her husband. And I sensing some jealousy? Or just a lack of actual insults...

4. I don't understand the Holier Than Thou policy you have with this girl. She needed a ride and even if she did use you, so? Doesn't make you better than her. Stop acting like it. And if you are saying I am doing the Holier than Thou routine, then maybe P was right about Virgo's.

5. Just got to the end of the thread. Sorry that I have to respond after such a good ending.

6. May I ask what your avatar is? Seems random.

Posted by CLCNY30

Posted by Nemesis
CLCNY, why do you feel responsible for this person?

what would the worst case sceanrio be, if you simply had said NO the second time?

I mentioned earlier that I felt really good helping her out the first time. I had absolutely no clue it'd result in more requests.

I said no the second time (that tuesday night that I had told her I would be unavailable) but she found out what class I was in (I have no clue how, because I never told her what classroom...) and basically stood outside of it, waiting. I felt like "yeah, she caught me, I'm here already so fine--but after tonight that's it, this can't continue..."

I do wonder what would have happened if I had told her "I can't" after she came up to me in class...I wonder if she would have made a scene?

click to expand

lmao!

!weakbitchassfucker!



"NO!" is a simple word you dumb bitch.

lesson to the viewing audience, you don't have to pimp virgo, they pimp themselves. hence, virgin...green and dumbasfuck.


ciao!

lol @ them coming back after it's all over. That, tubbywubbywasabear, is true weakness. No self-control at all. Damn shame.

Seriously, you 3 need an orgy.

Would kill 3 birds with one stone.

You're dismissed.

Posted by CLCNY30
cont'd

very next class she was just like "when you get a chance, I need you to show me THIS now..."

She had to put her foot down, and explain that she had her own project to work on, and said--in hindsight, she shouldn't have helped her out that first time, but let the professor (who was assiting other students at the time) handle it.

As far as being wrong in going for her that first night, I still feel it was the right thing for me to do--but I respect your view/stance, and see how you felt I never should have gone.

I didn't think it was 'wrong' for getting her...I don't even think it's 'wrong' for saying no the second time..what I'm saying is that it's probably 'wrong' for getting angry about not her not appreciating it...and it's probably 'wrong' for expecting her fiancee to be all smiles at the fact that you brought his future wife home, the next day, because it was convenient for you?

You feel me?

Dude, she made a mistake...we get that, she did something that was ridiculous and she needed help...we get that too, what you aren't seeming to get is that refusing to give her a ride when you could have been able...is a pretty assholish thing to do.

Just admit that....and we'll be straight. You don't have to say you are a horrible person, I'm sure you're an overall nice guy...but at least OWN up to what you did was a pretty jerk thing to do. And don't expect that someone should be 'grateful' for something like that.

Clearly the girl is off her rocker...and it was wrong of her to drag you into her issues..but there's a difference between putting your foot down when you have other stuff to do..and putting your foot down when someone is in trouble...feel me?

What if that girl HAD gotten raped or murdered, cold and alone and all that mess that let you out there in the first place...would you not felt at the very least a BIT responsible that you COULD have helped and didn't.

I'm not really attacking you and I want you to really try to see if you can understand my viewpoint...I bet if you could see it, it'd make further contact with this girl alot easier..and at least make you 'understand' her and her fiancee's side of it.

That's your viewpoint. It's similar to lildols in that you'd have gone for her repeatedly, no matter what, but it's not my viewpoint.

Being out on the road at midnight, after telling her the night before that I'd not be available to help her the next day, was not going to happen.

As I said, I'm out here alone, and if something happened to me while trying to help her...we'd both be out help.

you can be taken Advantage of if you choose that route you did a good deed by helping a fellow human being isn't that what life is about helping people who really need the help.


if it was a one time thing you coulda said hey listen i was only helping because you needed it for the moment you can't keep depending on me forever ya know lmao.

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo


you can be taken Advantage of if you choose that route you did a good deed by helping a fellow human being isn't that what life is about helping people who really need the help.


if it was a one time thing you coulda said hey listen i was only helping because you needed it for the moment you can't keep depending on me forever ya know lmao.

I didn't know adults needed to be told that.

I've never had to tell a grown man or woman "this is just a one-time thing", they understood that it was a favor, not a chore.

I just don't even get this whole taking advantage of a Virgo thing .....

Did you announce to her from the start that you are a Virgo?


Or, is this about memorializing that if someone gets a favor from a person and this person happens to be a Virgo, then they better think twice because the Virgo will attempt to trash their creditibility if they feel victimized? Even when this victimization is projected by the Virgo onto itself.


Instead of just making a thread about an event, you made it about what happens if a person interacts with a Virgo ... so, if this is the case, then you also have to be Virgo enough to be able to handle when the results come in by an observer that you discredit yourself by not being appreciative of your reward for helping someone.

Posted by CLCNY30

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo


you can be taken Advantage of if you choose that route you did a good deed by helping a fellow human being isn't that what life is about helping people who really need the help.


if it was a one time thing you coulda said hey listen i was only helping because you needed it for the moment you can't keep depending on me forever ya know lmao.

I didn't know adults needed to be told that.

I've never had to tell a grown man or woman "this is just a one-time thing", they understood that it was a favor, not a chore.

click to expand

lmao well some people need to be told that well for people who dont know what favors mean lmao.

not everybody has the same level of understanding of things even tho it can be simple for you it can be rocket science for them lmao.

And it's a temporary situation... helping her out until she gets over this bump in the road does not equate to doing her favors forever. What comes around goes around... how would you feel if someone who helped you through a rough spot was complaining about the help they provided you?

Posted by Volkswagen
I dont believe the problem here is with expecting reciprication or not my dear.

The issue is that these people feel entitled to one's help long after the hand has been extended excusively for a certain situation or time frame and they take take take without a second thought about what is being received.

Sure, some people question the "help" that they receive and therein comes about the idea of reaching out in reciprocation. See?

For the majority of the time that she has been in her presence she has done nothing but ask therefore expect to be served but it does in fact take two to tango.

The way I deal with this is I go ahead and socall leave one hanging without shame because I know that Im not responsible for anyone else but myself and especially not for someone I hardly even know much less rarely even talk to with the exception of her asking me for favors.

Posted by Volkswagen
My thing is, dont do something for someone that they themselves havent done for you (or if you know they dont have the capacity... And if youre still waiting on that chance for them to reciprocate.. Well.. Dont hold your breath..

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Agreed.

I have a friend right now who is hopping mad, because he had a "system" that has failed him this week, when he was depending on it the most. What he'd do is loan money to people here and there, using them as a bank in a way, and when he needed that money back, he'd just call or show up and be like "you owe me x amount of dollars" and think they'd just have it to give back. I have NEVER understood that mindset, what a crazy position to put yourself in. If you'd taken that money to the bank in the first place, you'd know it's there for sure...but to depend on others, whose lives are unpredictable, to have that money when you need it back? Yeah, you can't depend on people like that in this world, even if they took what you gave them. You have to know that chances are, it won't be returned.

I do wonder if I'd heard her correctly on night one, and she said she had no car (as opposed to me hearing, "my car is stalled") if I'd gone for her? The guilt would probably have driven me to want to...but I would have asked what plans she had made to get home, first. If she had said "none", I'd have known this was trouble from the start, and no

cot'd

not have gone.

Posted by CLCNY30
That's your viewpoint. It's similar to lildols in that you'd have gone for her repeatedly, no matter what, but it's not my viewpoint.

Being out on the road at midnight, after telling her the night before that I'd not be available to help her the next day, was not going to happen.

As I said, I'm out here alone, and if something happened to me while trying to help her...we'd both be out help.

No, Lildols suggested you keep helping her..i was suggesting that I'd help her that once..than as I was dropping her off, explain exactly what you just stated on this forum..and then wipe my hands of it. THAT would have saved me the 'having her come into class and interrupt" , embrass me in front of others for trying to make me feel bad, and not worry about how she or her fiance felt about me or the fact that they weren't grateful.

Does it make sense now?

sidenote-ah,CLCNY30 isn't a guy . What about CLCNY30's own safey about driving back to her own house alone? Then getting up to go to her full time job ? It is a case of the girl not "appreciating" that CLCNY30 has a life of her own.The mature thing would be for the girl to be upfront and honest--

"uhm,excuse me,I'm having car trouble and it will be in the shop for the next three weeks .Can you give me a ride home?"

Instead of,"oh f it,I got out here this morning,la de da,I'll find some way home when I get done doing what I want".

Also,this girl didn't appreciate the fact that someone was willing to watch her child at all,while the bf was home cooling his heels.(In his case,financial troubles translates no job).

When I get a ride from someone, I am always ready FOR THEM and offer a few bucks since they live more than 7 or 8 miles from me.That's just me.

I can see how some people may have thought I never should have went in the first place (this is now my wish...)
I can see how some people may have thought I should have went that one time, but let her know "this is it"
I can see how some people may have thought I should have said I'd give her rides, but set a strict fee
I can see how some people may have thought I should have said I'd give her rides for free, because she's attempting to better herself

In the end, there's going to be diff. views on how it should have went down, depending on your own mindset.

Posted by VulcanLass
sidenote-ah,CLCNY30 isn't a guy . What about CLCNY30's own safey about driving back to her own house alone? Then getting up to go to her full time job ? It is a case of the girl not "appreciating" that CLCNY30 has a life of her own.The mature thing would be for the girl to be upfront and honest--

"uhm,excuse me,I'm having car trouble and it will be in the shop for the next three weeks .Can you give me a ride home?"

Instead of,"oh f it,I got out here this morning,la de da,I'll find some way home when I get done doing what I want".

Also,this girl didn't appreciate the fact that someone was willing to watch her child at all,while the bf was home cooling his heels.(In his case,financial troubles translates no job).

When I get a ride from someone, I am always ready FOR THEM and offer a few bucks since they live more than 7 or 8 miles from me.That's just me.

When someone would give me rides, back before I was driving, I'd be so grateful that I'd practically be gushing "thank you!" every 2 minutes, during the ride, lmfao. I really appreciated the favor, and I knew not to ask for it/expect it again. If they offered, I'd gauge from their expression whether they felt obligated to, or truly didn't mind. And I'd always offer to pay for gas. Always. But I knew that it was a lucky favor, and never expected it--I always had means to get home on my own...they were just slower means than driving, lol.

For me, giving someone money is nowhere near as draining as giving a ride; with money, you hand it over (if you can/want to) and you're done. With a ride, there's waiting for the person, taking the person to the destination, the possibility of an accident while trying to help them get to somewhere YOU don't need to go, gas, time, etc.

I learned a valuable lesson, and will not do this for another classmates unless I've spoken to them enough to gauge whether or not they would see my favor as just that--a favor, or if they'd just expect it because I did it once before.

But yeah, I can't take responsibility for a grown woman, with children. And her fianc?'s anger that night scared the sht out of me...I def. wasn't going back.

Posted by VulcanLass
sidenote-ah,CLCNY30 isn't a guy . What about CLCNY30's own safey about driving back to her own house alone? Then getting up to go to her full time job ? It is a case of the girl not "appreciating" that CLCNY30 has a life of her own.The mature thing would be for the girl to be upfront and honest--

"uhm,excuse me,I'm having car trouble and it will be in the shop for the next three weeks .Can you give me a ride home?"

Instead of,"oh f it,I got out here this morning,la de da,I'll find some way home when I get done doing what I want".

Also,this girl didn't appreciate the fact that someone was willing to watch her child at all,while the bf was home cooling his heels.(In his case,financial troubles translates no job).

When I get a ride from someone, I am always ready FOR THEM and offer a few bucks since they live more than 7 or 8 miles from me.That's just me.

Oh I thought she was...my bad..that kind of changes everything, makes better sense, why she would describe the girl's appearance..etc. Why she would be worried about her safety while driving.

To the several Virgos in here who have no clue what needing help means, and believes that all people should have a prepared life ..... you better hope like hell you're never in need of another person.

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo

Posted by CLCNY30

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo


you can be taken Advantage of if you choose that route you did a good deed by helping a fellow human being isn't that what life is about helping people who really need the help.


if it was a one time thing you coulda said hey listen i was only helping because you needed it for the moment you can't keep depending on me forever ya know lmao.

I didn't know adults needed to be told that.

I've never had to tell a grown man or woman "this is just a one-time thing", they understood that it was a favor, not a chore.

lmao well some people need to be told that well for people who dont know what favors mean lmao.

not everybody has the same level of understanding of things even tho it can be simple for you it can be rocket science for them lmao.

click to expand

lol, yeah--I get you.

I definitely learned an important lesson. When it comes to my car, and me being out on the road late at night, I need to set ground rules, or just say no from the jump.

I wonder what her sign is...

Dammit, I should have asked her at some point.

Ah well (-_-)

lol...the bitch IS a bitch?

HA!

Posted by Volkswagen
Always give yourself a time frame for new friends and if you cannot be appreciative of what they have to offer then move on.

I have found that with most Virgos (a male cousin, a sister, a couple of aunts, and some of my best mates) they are completely open to frienships (ass odd as that may seem given their outer appearance and compsure), so much so that they play the waiting game for what others might consider a long time in order to see if there is indeed a "fit". Accepting their peers' flaws and whatnot because who doesnt need a friend in life right?

But that is where they go wrong in accepting someones bad behaviour and tagging it as a personality trait believing that they (Virgos) are doing them a favor.

I dont mean this in a negative or.. Rude/mean way but alot of their realities arent of this world. They can be quite innocent sometimes which one could come to interpret as gullible or just plain ole dumb. And this is where the outer cold shell comes into play. They become selective of the people they let into their real of feelings. Theyre very black and white about it too. Its either all or nothing in the sense that youre either all in or not (aka an object of existance in their world or completely unexistant)

i like this response for some reason it relates to me i'm very selective who i let in my life i believe you have to be worth it i can be honest i dont make friends easily because alot of people that i thought was my good friends in the past weren't just users and i hate to cut that shit off quick lol.

alot people dont know what a loyal friend means nowadays so i choose very carefully and true friendships and bonds take time to grow.

virgo sign is an ancient sign a very pure sign i guess thats y you said those traits of pureness is not of this world this y indeed a virgo is in control of their emotions.

Let me summarize this for everyone ....


CLCNY30 made an error in judgement, and because she cannot accept that, it is the girls fault, and so CLCNY30's ego has to make damn sure everyone got that loud and clear.


Pages and pages and pages later ... and she still will not accept it, no matter how anybody talks to her, no matter what angle of reason.

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo

Posted by Volkswagen
Always give yourself a time frame for new friends and if you cannot be appreciative of what they have to offer then move on.

I have found that with most Virgos (a male cousin, a sister, a couple of aunts, and some of my best mates) they are completely open to frienships (ass odd as that may seem given their outer appearance and compsure), so much so that they play the waiting game for what others might consider a long time in order to see if there is indeed a "fit". Accepting their peers' flaws and whatnot because who doesnt need a friend in life right?

But that is where they go wrong in accepting someones bad behaviour and tagging it as a personality trait believing that they (Virgos) are doing them a favor.

I dont mean this in a negative or.. Rude/mean way but alot of their realities arent of this world. They can be quite innocent sometimes which one could come to interpret as gullible or just plain ole dumb. And this is where the outer cold shell comes into play. They become selective of the people they let into their real of feelings. Theyre very black and white about it too. Its either all or nothing in the sense that youre either all in or not (aka an object of existance in their world or completely unexistant)

i like this response for some reason it relates to me i'm very selective who i let in my life i believe you have to be worth it i can be honest i dont make friends easily because alot of people that i thought was my good friends in the past weren't just users and i hate to cut that shit off quick lol.

alot people dont know what a loyal friend means nowadays so i choose very carefully and true friendships and bonds take time to grow.

virgo sign is an ancient sign a very pure sign i guess thats y you said those traits of pureness is not of this world this y indeed a virgo is in control of their emotions.

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^^^I knew my response wouldn't fit in the same response as your quote, LV

Yeah, I get you. A few people I told the story to over here (and 2 who knew/know this girl [they're classmates of hers as well]) said I should have went off of my first impression of her. To be truthful, that first impression was that maybe she was inebriated. She did seem out of it that first class, that's why I described how she was acting. I didn't feel that was right, hell--maybe the girl just had an off day. She did come to class late, maybe she was just nervous. She seemed friendly enough when we'd joke across the room, but yeah--I never really knew too much about her.

I have very few close friends, a large amount of aquaintances, and an even larger amount of people who I just deal with on a when-need-to basis. Those close friends can call me anytime, they know that--I'd go out there for them at midnight with no worries, because they know me enough to know they can't expect that from me the way this girl did. The acquaintances...meh...I guess it would depend on the situation and the individual.

This was one of those offhand chances I took, and it happened to backfire in a way I won't forget.

Either no from the go, or ground rules when faced with a situation like that (if ever) again.

"This was one of those offhand chances I took, and it happened to backfire in a way I won't forget."

Is that so? *smh*

Karma... always comes back to bite you in the ass, just wait for it!