This is so hard!

First time poster, long time lurker. I've been exclusively dating a virgo for 2 mos. From the beginning everything was great, but I sensed he may have some issues to work out personally. He always talked about how he was unhappy with his job, weight, family issues, etc. But through that we still dated, talked all the time, and just generally enjoyed each other's company. I made it clear I liked him, but wanted to really get to know him and let things progress naturally. About a month in, he started pulling away but it only seemed to be after sex. He would pull away 2-3 days after sex and then go back to everything being normal. Shortly after we started sleeping together, he revealed some very private traumatic family issues to me. After that I found out he started going back to therapy, was focusing more on turning things around with job, health, etc. I would reach out just to check on him through all this, but he was very distant and would apologizing for being so.

Well during one of the times I reached out, he hit me with "we need to talk". Told me he REALLY liked me, but we had to stop. He was focused on working on various issues and it was him not me. At first I told him I understood, and was here if he ever needed to talk. Then after thinking about it overnight, I told him I meant everything I said the day before but was disappointed he didn't allow me to be his friend and support him through all this. He said that maybe he said the wrong thing, but he was trying to be considerate of my feelings and my expectations on us seeing and talking to each other. He said he was always trying to solve "problems" instead of realizing sometimes there wasn't a problem to solve. I told him I never had any expectations. I just wanted to get to know him. I told him I signed for the marathon and not the sprint, and he was underestimating me.

That was 5 days ago. We haven't talked since, and I've been keeping myself busy. BUT.... I miss him like crazy. Sounds weird since we haven't known each other that long, but it's how I feel. As strong as I want to be, it is taking everything in me not to reach out and check on him. I know it will pass eventually, but right now is hard. Just needed to vent somewhere....

Thanks! That is my plan. It's just hard 😢

the part about him pulling away after sex that is normal that is what men do since their testosterone drops after intimacy. He has feelings for you but you must be patient if you haven't noticed he revealed to you his problems without having you invade his privacy. Just be his friend and stop sleeping with him because sex will confuse him since you guys are "friends". He will come back around and he does has his issues to deal with. They often complain about things but don't realize it's a choice that they choose to make. They are literally act of service and do things they don't want to do they have to learn how to say no sometimes. Keep busy you need to show him that you are strong, emotionally stable, and self sufficient. But you need to keep your options open it's only been 2 months. Date and have fun 🙂

Posted by VirgoFlirt
that guy has no feeling at all for you.....does not talk to you until 3days after sex.....no intimate connection at all here.

that could be an option but we don't what he is thinking or feeling.

I would add though when I was romantically involved with a virgo he stalked me after sex and called me everyday.

Posted by VirgoFlirt
that guy has no feeling at all for you.....does not talk to you until 3days after sex.....no intimate connection at all here.

I didn't mean he wouldn't talk to me at all. We still talked. I just noticed there was a distance with it. It wasn't the usual all day/night non stop talking.

Posted by VirgoFlirt
that guy has no feeling at all for you.....does not talk to you until 3days after sex.....no intimate connection at all here.

I didn't mean he wouldn't talk to me at all. We still talked. I just noticed there was a distance with it. It wasn't the usual all day/night non stop talking.

Few men want to date or get a relationship when they feel they are unhappy. At least he is self-aware and honest. Why he even got started with you, knowing all this is a question, however mote at this point. Perhaps he thought it would stay casual and pulled away to communicate such indirectly. But, was in too deep, feeling needy for comfort, someone to talk to. That's not ideal, particularly at the beginning.

You may be insincere about your desire to be friends (he may sense this). Check-in w/him in 2-3 weeks, if you care about him as a human being.

But, it doesn't look promising. It rarely does when someone starts talks about issues concerning family trauma, seeing a therapist, job issues, and health problems (the scariest of all). He's being hit from all ends, there's not much left, particularly to offer you. And, he knows this.

Sounds like a Saturn return.

Posted by VenusAquarius
Few men want to date or get a relationship when they feel they are unhappy. At least he is self-aware and honest. Why he even got started with you, knowing all this is a question, however mote at this point. Perhaps he thought it would stay casual and pulled away to communicate such indirectly. But, was in too deep, feeling needy for comfort, someone to talk to. That's not ideal, particularly at the beginning.

You may be insincere about your desire to be friends (he may sense this). Check-in w/him in 2-3 weeks, if you care about him as a human being.

But, it doesn't look promising. It rarely does when someone starts talks about issues concerning family trauma, seeing a therapist, job issues, and health problems (the scariest of all). He's being hit from all ends, there's not much left, particularly to offer you. And, he knows this.

Sounds like a Saturn return.

Thank you for your input. I do care, and even though friends may have been the wrong word to use, I was sincere that I wanted to be there to help support him. I'll check in on him and leave it at that. I didn't think about the Saturn return thing at all, but that makes sense.