Trying to understand my Virgo guy

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Nancym
@Nancym
7 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 93 · Topics: 5
My story is long so I'll spare you and give you the short version.  Virgo guy I have know for 24yrs lost his wife, my girlfriend after 2 years of battling cancer.  3 months after she passed he began pursuing me.  For 3 months I questioned whether he was ready.  We fell in love and dated for 7 months.  He began experiencing an anger and grumpiness and I told him it was his grief as he didn't grieve properly.  We broke up as he realized he wasn't ready for a relationship.  I know he loves me but I also understand that he needs time and space of which I am being respectful of.  We do talk and he always tells me what is going on in his life.  We met for dinner the other night and when we went to order dinner;we were both going to order the same meal he said "you can't order the same!  You need to order something different so we can share!"  It was something we used to always do when we were dating.  We then ran into a friend of his and in conversation he brought up our trip to Vegas and mentioned something funny that has been an on going joke with us.  At the end of the evening he said how much he missed me.  My question is during our evening he talked about his class reunion and how he ran into his ex girlfriend, a girlfriend prior to his wife, and how she got his phone number and called him saying she wasn't happy in her marriage.  He said he quickly ended the conversation saying he wasn't interested.  Why would he tell me this?  Did he tell me to show me that he is being open and honest with me?
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LibraSupreme
@LibraSupreme
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 84 · Posts: 1361 · Topics: 0
Posted by Nancym

My story is long so I'll spare you and give you the short version.  Virgo guy I have know for 24yrs lost his wife, my girlfriend after 2 years of battling cancer.  3 months after she passed he began pursuing me.  For 3 months I questioned whether he was ready.  We fell in love and dated for 7 months.  He began experiencing an anger and grumpiness and I told him it was his grief as he didn't grieve properly.  We broke up as he realized he wasn't ready for a relationship.  I know he loves me but I also understand that he needs time and space of which I am being respectful of.  We do talk and he always tells me what is going on in his life.  We met for dinner the other night and when we went to order dinner;we were both going to order the same meal he said "you can't order the same!  You need to order something different so we can share!"  It was something we used to always do when we were dating.  We then ran into a friend of his and in conversation he brought up our trip to Vegas and mentioned something funny that has been an on going joke with us.  At the end of the evening he said how much he missed me.  My question is during our evening he talked about his class reunion and how he ran into his ex girlfriend, a girlfriend prior to his wife, and how she got his phone number and called him saying she wasn't happy in her marriage.  He said he quickly ended the conversation saying he wasn't interested.  Why would he tell me this?  Did he tell me to show me that he is being open and honest with me?

The thirst is real, yes he's on the rebound o3 months after his wife death. Did you state that she was your friend too. Did you know his deceased wife ?
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Nancym
@Nancym
7 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 93 · Topics: 5
Posted by LibraSupreme

Posted by Nancym

My story is long so I'll spare you and give you the short version.  Virgo guy I have know for 24yrs lost his wife, my girlfriend after 2 years of battling cancer.  3 months after she passed he began pursuing me.  For 3 months I questioned whether he was ready.  We fell in love and dated for 7 months.  He began experiencing an anger and grumpiness and I told him it was his grief as he didn't grieve properly.  We broke up as he realized he wasn't ready for a relationship.  I know he loves me but I also understand that he needs time and space of which I am being respectful of.  We do talk and he always tells me what is going on in his life.  We met for dinner the other night and when we went to order dinner;we were both going to order the same meal he said "you can't order the same!  You need to order something different so we can share!"  It was something we used to always do when we were dating.  We then ran into a friend of his and in conversation he brought up our trip to Vegas and mentioned something funny that has been an on going joke with us.  At the end of the evening he said how much he missed me.  My question is during our evening he talked about his class reunion and how he ran into his ex girlfriend, a girlfriend prior to his wife, and how she got his phone number and called him saying she wasn't happy in her marriage.  He said he quickly ended the conversation saying he wasn't interested.  Why would he tell me this?  Did he tell me to show me that he is being open and honest with me?

The thirst is real, yes he's on the rebound o3 months after his wife death. Did you state that she was your friend too. Did you know his deceased wife ?
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Yes, I knew his wife. I had been friends with the both of them for 24yrs.
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Vacation Queen
@saggurl88
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 22238 · Posts: 25616 · Topics: 84
So how long has it been since you two stopped dating? I currently dating a Virgo now and he does similar stuff, but I think it's just cause I haven't even told him whether I like him or not (even though we're sleeping together)

Maybe he's wondering if your dating and he's letting you know that he's interested again. Only one way to find out if you two had a great time, just ask if he wants to try again or try his luck elsewhere.
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Nancym
@Nancym
7 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 93 · Topics: 5
Posted by greylatern

Posted by Nancym

My story is long so I'll spare you and give you the short version.  Virgo guy I have know for 24yrs lost his wife, my girlfriend after 2 years of battling cancer.  3 months after she passed he began pursuing me.  For 3 months I questioned whether he was ready.  We fell in love and dated for 7 months.  He began experiencing an anger and grumpiness and I told him it was his grief as he didn't grieve properly.  We broke up as he realized he wasn't ready for a relationship.  I know he loves me but I also understand that he needs time and space of which I am being respectful of.  We do talk and he always tells me what is going on in his life.  We met for dinner the other night and when we went to order dinner;we were both going to order the same meal he said "you can't order the same!  You need to order something different so we can share!"  It was something we used to always do when we were dating.  We then ran into a friend of his and in conversation he brought up our trip to Vegas and mentioned something funny that has been an on going joke with us.  At the end of the evening he said how much he missed me.  My question is during our evening he talked about his class reunion and how he ran into his ex girlfriend, a girlfriend prior to his wife, and how she got his phone number and called him saying she wasn't happy in her marriage.  He said he quickly ended the conversation saying he wasn't interested.  Why would he tell me this?  Did he tell me to show me that he is being open and honest with me?


Yes. He was talking to you between the lines even if that wasn't his conscious intent. He needs to grief properly in his own way. I don't think you guts should stay apart though. Be friends again and rebuild the relationship as you guys see fit. If I pasted away, I would be rolling in my grave if my s/o denied there own happiness out of respect for me. I can't imagine anyone who really loved someone would feel differently about that.
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Yes, that is exactly what we are/have done. A step back to rebuild and give him the proper time he needs. We both know his wife/ my girlfriend would want him to move forward in his own time. She wants him to be happy! She even told us that she would be happy if him and I were together as she couldn't think of a better person then me. At first I couldn't see it. We talked about it and I pushed him away for 3 months. He honestly thought he was ready but grief hits everyone differently. In his mind knowing for 2yrs that this wasn't a battle she was going to be able to win he thought he had started the griefing process.