Unbearable heartbreak....

How do you deal with it?

I'm normally someone who keeps my emotions 100% under control but, at age 38, I'm dealing with my first heartbreak. I'm not equipped with the experience to dissect this and then forget about it. Totally clueless on how to 'move on.'
I just want to fix it but realistically I know I can't.

Keeping myself busy isn't working. 😢

I hope someone wiser than I can offer some practical advice, in the meantime...
I deeply and sincerely sympathise. Sometimes you're the windscreen, sometimes you're the bug ON the windscreen...

I understand! It's very hard to deal with this in your 30s for the first time!! It's bound to happen eventually, and I guess now it has. You're going to get through this and be happy again. And you'll feel unbelievably strong once you're on the other side.

Until then, delete everything so that you can't go back and marinate in your thoughts and feelings at that time. Block him on FB, block his phone number, block his email, block him on messenger, just totally disappear because this is healing time. It goes MUCH slower when you're always hoping for a call/email. Not to mention if you receive a call (even if you ignore it), text, email, it will send you back into a tailspin for a couple weeks. So no contact. This works! And you can do it! Be strong, MUAHHHHH!!!!

I think being back to myself will take a while. Right now I'm questioning everything and trying to make sense.

I did delete him. That wasn't easy.

I'm just going to miss him like crazy for a long time. But for right now I just want to function.

Starlover - I'm sorry you had to go through all of that

Best advice i can give, as someone who's used to being hurt over and over,

is keep busy, keep busy, keep busy,

surround yourself with people who care about you.

Posted by starlover

Posted by leejt86
Best advice i can give, as someone who's used to being hurt over and over,

is keep busy, keep busy, keep busy,

surround yourself with people who care about you.

That isnt always easy, some people dont want to be around you
when you are grieving and sad. I would actually advise anyone
to learn to be happy alone firstly before depending on others

click to expand

for me, i need to be out and around friends, they always know how to cheer me up. I force myself to get out of the house. being alone makes heartbreak worse.

Yeah... My friends are talkers and I'm not up for that right now. I know they're there for me if I need them but I can't do the cheer up thing just yet.

Your reality is your focus .... if you truly wanted a different reality, then you'd have a different focus.

If you think you are helpless about what you think about .... then what was the point in you being born a human instead of a cow?

Posted by starlover

Posted by Herself
Yeah... My friends are talkers and I'm not up for that right now. I know they're there for me if I need them but I can't do the cheer up thing just yet.

click to expand

Ask yourself what you need at the moment and you will get the answers..dont
feel you have to do anything that doesnt support your healing

What I really need right this second is to just sit quietly with someone. Idk.. I don't want to think but I have to and don't want to do it alone. Once i process everything I'll be better (I hope)... Make sense?

The mind powerful. I agree 100% but the loss of someone I loved and trusted is not something I was prepared to face (I don't do either easily). Especially since it's over no real reason. Just miscommunication between us. Ugh.

Oh.. And b/c this is an astrology board I may as well say I'm Virgo sun/Leo moon and he's Scorpio sun/Virgo moon.

Posted by Herself
The mind powerful. I agree 100% but the loss of someone I loved and trusted is not something I was prepared to face (I don't do either easily). Especially since it's over no real reason. Just miscommunication between us. Ugh.

Oh.. And b/c this is an astrology board I may as well say I'm Virgo sun/Leo moon and he's Scorpio sun/Virgo moon.

Oh my Virgo/Leo moon baby...
How I wish I can comfort you right now (((HUGS)))
Hush darling... Things will soon be fine...
Us virgos always find a way to heal ourselves.
I went through the same thing when my long term relationship with a Cap ended. I was devastated and I thought I will never get over him BUT I did, like we always do. Don't rush things, let the feeling flow freely, I know how hard it is and how long it will be before the feeling finally fades. A lot of good advise are posted above. Let the Leo moon get drown in the pain for soon your regal moon will shine bright again and I just can't wait for that moment.
*Sending love your way my fellow fire mooner*