Heart break and death

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by Shruikan on Tuesday, December 16, 2014 and has 133 replies.

Understanding Heartbreak and Its Emotional Impact

Heartbreak can cause intense feelings of sadness and emptiness. It is a natural emotional response to loss or relationship ending. Recognizing these feelings and allowing yourself time to grieve can promote healing. If feelings of wanting to give up persist, seeking support from a mental health professional is important.

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Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

My relationship with the woman I thought I would marry has ended. I feel empty and sad. I feel like I don't want to live anymore and it's strange feeling. I've only felt like this one other time in my life. Any advice?

Profile picture of fullwaterpisces
@fullwaterpisces
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Shruikan
My relationship with the woman I thought I would marry has ended. I feel empty and sad. I feel like I don't want to live anymore and it's strange feeling. I've only felt like this one other time in my life. Any advice?

May I ask you politely... what do you think you will accomplish by killing yourself? make the other person love you, and if so you would not be here to know, or you think they will feel guilty for losing you— what about your family and friends? why do they have to lose as well? if you want attention from her that is not the right way... be the person she will regret losing, work on yourself, love yourself as you much as you will like others love you, is hard but is the only answer, ask for help...

She might miss you if you die, but after a while people move on, and continue with life, like nothing ever happen... and you simply deprived yourself from life for nothing...

Being hurt by someone you deeply love hurt like a MOFO, sometimes is hard to breath, and I'm not going to lie its going to take copius amount of effort and work to get back in track and sadly nobody but yourself have and can work that road, even when you feel like not doing it... but a person who doesn't care enough for you to simply walk away caring none about you, doesn't even deserve you to hurt yourself... get therapy, try to meditate, try to exercise, try everything you could!! as for help is hard i know..

I am where you at, someone I deeply love turn her back on me and she refuse to talk to me ever, I have done everything in my power to make things right but her pride is to big, and it hurts every day, and for a minute I thought like you do... but a friend of mine took his life away and he just left a lot of people with an emptiness feeling specially his family, that is the only thing that has prevent me to even think that... no person in this world deserve you to even think about not wanting to live.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by fullwaterpisces

Posted by Shruikan
My relationship with the woman I thought I would marry has ended. I feel empty and sad. I feel like I don't want to live anymore and it's strange feeling. I've only felt like this one other time in my life. Any advice?

May I ask you politely... what do you think you will accomplish by killing yourself? make the other person love you, and if so you would not be here to know, or you think they will feel guilty for losing you— what about your family and friends? why do they have to lose as well? if you want attention from her that is not the right way... be the person she will regret losing, work on yourself, love yourself as you much as you will like others love you, is hard but is the only answer, ask for help...

She might miss you if you die, but after a while people move on, and continue with life, like nothing ever happen... and you simply deprived yourself from life for nothing...

Being hurt by someone you deeply love hurt like a MOFO, sometimes is hard to breath, and I'm not going to lie its going to take copius amount of effort and work to get back in track and sadly nobody but yourself have and can work that road, even when you feel like not doing it... but a person who doesn't care enough for you to simply walk away caring none about you, doesn't even deserve you to hurt yourself... get therapy, try to meditate, try to exercise, try everything you could!! as for help is hard i know..

I am where you at, someone I deeply love turn her back on me and she refuse to talk to me ever, I have done everything in my power to make things right but her pride is to big, and it hurts every day, and for a minute I thought like you do... but a friend of mine took his life away and he just left a lot of people with an emptiness feeling specially his family, that is the only thing that has prevent me to even think that... no person in this world deserve you to even think about not wanting to live.

click to expand

Let me elaborate. I'm not considering killing myself. I just feel like I'm not alive. Like I don't want to face life. I'm not going to kill myself though

Profile picture of fullwaterpisces
@fullwaterpisces
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Well that's a relief!!! but don't sink in that thought!!!

but also from my personal experience, i can tell you i been wasting the past few months dwelling on my pain, the other person is happy (at least that what it looks like) she is going out with friends, ignoring me, like I've never existed.

i have try everything in my power to fix things with my person.. some days i have thought like you do... but if a person is such a heartless B... to not care about you, why would you waste your precious life not enjoying life...

When you go out and live life and work on yourself, and care about yourself only... you became the person she or anyone else will regret not having in their life...

is hard man!!! but you got to love yourself first and foremost! and enjoying your life is part of loving yourself, take a long trip, find a sport, a hobby, go to the gym, meditate... dont let other dictate the level of enjoyment you have in your life..

Profile picture of LilliLou
@LilliLou
13 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

hugs matey! I find that I need a bit of alone time to wallow and rant and lick wounds, but you are a bit of a different kettle of fish and I think that perhaps company is what you need.
Do you have a close family?
Friends?
Have a dog you can take out for a walk??

Otherwise pour it into your music, post it online and get the validation from being awesome 🙂

Profile picture of fullwaterpisces
@fullwaterpisces
11 Years1,000+ Posts

I'm going to share this article, if you don't believe in LOA is fine, but I believe what this person said in general because it makes sense... if your ex ever comes back is awesome, but if not, you still be happy and ready for someone else better!!! You wont do any of those things for her, you will do it for yourself only..

http://www.powerfulintentions.org/forum/topics/yess-you-can-attract-your-ex

Profile picture of lisabethur8
@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts

sorry to hear about that. my close male relative has libra mars like you, and he just broke up with his beau not long ago. he's very sad of course, but he said he's gonna be allright. was worried. hope you have family and close friends to be around with, so as to keep your mind away from your loss.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by LilliLou
hugs matey! I find that I need a bit of alone time to wallow and rant and lick wounds, but you are a bit of a different kettle of fish and I think that perhaps company is what you need.
Do you have a close family?
Friends?
Have a dog you can take out for a walk??

Otherwise pour it into your music, post it online and get the validation from being awesome 🙂

I do post my music online. I post it here too actually. Usually I can immerse myself in music, but I feel to empty, it's hard to make anything right now. :/

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by lisabethur8
sorry to hear about that. my close male relative has libra mars like you, and he just broke up with his beau not long ago. he's very sad of course, but he said he's gonna be allright. was worried. hope you have family and close friends to be around with, so as to keep your mind away from your loss.

Unfortunately my family is not very close and my friends are back in the city I went to college in. I don't know many people here. Blah.... I need to make more friends I guess.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by fullwaterpisces
I'm going to share this article, if you don't believe in LOA is fine, but I believe what this person said in general because it makes sense... if your ex ever comes back is awesome, but if not, you still be happy and ready for someone else better!!! You wont do any of those things for her, you will do it for yourself only..

http://www.powerfulintentions.org/forum/topics/yess-you-can-attract-your-ex

Thank you very much.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by Rabbit

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by Rabbit
Then go out and find "you" again.

I'm not quite sure how to do that. I don't typically go out all that much. She would drag me out. Any suggestions?

Doesn't mean you have to go out...you just have to get back into the world...if that makes sense.

click to expand

Yeah it makes sense. Part of me wants to go have a drink, but I don't know if alcohol will be bad right now. It would be out, but I can't seem to make up my mind about what to do.

Profile picture of DwellingOnMove
@DwellingOnMove
17 Years10,000+ Posts

imagine she is talking to someone or to Internet about how she is empty and doesn't get what went wrong between you both. imagine you are the one who is trying to comfort her in her pain.

btw why the separation? is it really finito? maybe a little chance still?

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by Impulsv
This is a recent brake up. Yes alcohol is a bad crutch to fall back in n if ur feeling bad it will double it as a depressant. Allow urself time to mourn give urself a deadlineS nothing worse to dwell in pain as I'm guilty of it. But I also fell to act like ur ok right after a brake doesn't serve a purpose as its an act n it will return twofold. Scorpuo has a tendency to suppress n that is worse than to just allow urself to experience the grief

I've been trying to smile and pretend I'm fine, but it's all boiling over. I don't feel very fine. So if I set a dead line, how to I ensure that I actually get over it at that point?

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by DwellingOnMove
imagine she is talking to someone or to Internet about how she is empty and doesn't get what went wrong between you both. imagine you are the one who is trying to comfort her in her pain.

btw why the separation? is it really finito? maybe a little chance still?

There's a few reasons why it's over. Part of which is my fear of being lied to by her again. I tend to revert back to her past, questioning actions to understand why she did what she did. Self preservation I guess you could say. Which is completely on me. I don't feel to comfortable saying the things she did as I feel like that would be an attack on her when she's not here to defend herself.

Profile picture of lisabethur8
@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by lisabethur8
sorry to hear about that. my close male relative has libra mars like you, and he just broke up with his beau not long ago. he's very sad of course, but he said he's gonna be allright. was worried. hope you have family and close friends to be around with, so as to keep your mind away from your loss.

Unfortunately my family is not very close and my friends are back in the city I went to college in. I don't know many people here. Blah.... I need to make more friends I guess.

click to expand

yeah that's his "crutch", to go out and do stuff, or do stuff with family.

when i got over my heartbreak with my first ex, i wrote a novel. it really helped me. maybe for you, it's your music, write some lyrics.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Are you trying to set a deadline on feeling your emotions? So cute but won't work my friend. Good try though.

Sorry you are going through this Shru. I could tell you thought the world of her. Are you sure it's completely done? No chance?

She was my entire universe. Yes. I thought I found my soul mate.

Profile picture of DwellingOnMove
@DwellingOnMove
17 Years10,000+ Posts

"of being lied to by her again".
ah, ok.
I got it. Your brain is acustomed with all the good in her. But it has to reprogram itself that the good person has a bad side too.

ok, I think you both won't get back together again. Until maybe in one year and that just for sex or revenge.

Maybe it helps if you imagine time is passed and you are living in a good relationship? I mean why not. If your brain stay busy and you think of her anyway then you could instead have phantasy about a future girl. nah?

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by DwellingOnMove
"of being lied to by her again".
ah, ok.
I got it. Your brain is acustomed with all the good in her. But it has to reprogram itself that the good person has a bad side too.

ok, I think you both won't get back together again. Until maybe in one year and that just for sex or revenge.

Maybe it helps if you imagine time is passed and you are living in a good relationship? I mean why not. If your brain stay busy and you think of her anyway then you could instead have phantasy about a future girl. nah?

I don't want revenge on her. I don't want to hurt her.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by IrresistableScorp
@imp. I gotcha. Moving forward is good.

@shru lies are a deal breaker. Misunderstandings are not. Just throwing that out there. I know I am completely guilty of fabricating a "lie" from someone when at the end of the day it was just a misinterpretation. Then again that usually meant the trust wasn't there. Food for thought.

I understand. No, these were not misunderstandings, they were bold faced lies. Told to me in the beginning of our relationship. I haven't been able to forgive her fully I guess. Again, that's on me.

Profile picture of DwellingOnMove
@DwellingOnMove
17 Years10,000+ Posts

Part II:
Maybe it helps if you imagine time has passed and you are living in a good relationship?

If your brain stays busy and you think of her anyway then you could instead have phantasy about a future girl. or somebody who is so nice and so near to you. ease the brain.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by DwellingOnMove
"of being lied to by her again".
ah, ok.
I got it. Your brain is acustomed with all the good in her. But it has to reprogram itself that the good person has a bad side too.

ok, I think you both won't get back together again. Until maybe in one year and that just for sex or revenge.

Maybe it helps if you imagine time is passed and you are living in a good relationship? I mean why not. If your brain stay busy and you think of her anyway then you could instead have phantasy about a future girl. nah?

I'm usually much to adapted to see the shadow in everyone I meet. She's the first person I met that I just trusted immediately and I don't know why. Learning about the lies and deceit did force my brain to reprogram.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by Impulsv
Reincarnation knows what's up. If he says consider urself lucky I think he might be right. Not about crucifixion but when trust like that is broken got nothing n this was her doing. Mourn the loss, mourn that she wasn't what u thought she was. It's not on u it is on her for starting a foundation on lies

But shouldn't I be able to forgive? Or not care about her past?

Profile picture of DwellingOnMove
@DwellingOnMove
17 Years10,000+ Posts

I hope your fellow scorpios can check together with you if your fears have been too much. so that you can take a "possible forgiving" in consideration.

The Q is why you had fear if it was her past.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Right. What impulsv said is how I feel. You can change yes, but your past really shows the character of who you are. I've done lots of things I'm not proud of, but I can tell you why I did them and how I'm corrected behavior. When I'd ask she'd have no idea why she did anything she did. There was no remorse or growth.

Profile picture of lisabethur8
@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts

doesn't mattter. if she did heinous things, because if shru actually really loved her truly, he most likely, still go back to her. maybe. dont know how he'd do it. from my understanding, love has to be completely destroyed before you move on. i don't believe it's destroyed. just my guess.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by lisabethur8
doesn't mattter. if she did heinous things, because if shru actually really loved her truly, he most likely, still go back to her. maybe. dont know how he'd do it. from my understanding, love has to be completely destroyed before you move on. i don't believe it's destroyed. just my guess.

Yeah I see it. The only way is loving self more to realize one deserves better.

click to expand

There's a difference between loving yourself enough to move on and allowing someone a chance at redemption. I'm not sure where that line is at all. It's all become blurred.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by KVZZMIR11
I know exactly what you are talking about dude the "emptiness"comes when you realize you can no longer cuddle with and spend time with someone who is your " best friend."
You think back to the texts, dude THE GOOD MORNING text and GOOD NIGHT text you keep checking those and it tears your heart to shreds when you see no messages coming.

GOD!

Trust me though, all of this gets better overtime.
Suicide is obviously no cure for this.
You just have to let time take its toll on you.

While time does its thing analyse where YOU went wrong and where you will improve for the future.

You can't change the behavior of your ex, but you can improve YOURSELF for your next relationship.

Forgive yourself, and God heals all.

Thanks a lot man. That means a lot and it makes sense. It's just so... right now it's so painful. I hope it'll stop, but it feels like it won't.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by Rabbit

Posted by CluelessCancer
it always makes me curious to see so many libra/scorpio relationships. Some Libras can be exceptionally hideously manipulative and drama creators. They also use the Scorpio to take care of them financially.

also deflect alot and never own to their own issues.

i've never understood the match.

Because libra girls are cute.

click to expand

Lol

Profile picture of LilliLou
@LilliLou
13 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by LilliLou

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by DwellingOnMove

Posted by Reincarnation
Is that the Libra broad?

Consider it a blessing, brother. Find yourself a water woman.

his guilty venusian moon

Venusian moon?

Taurus and Libra are both ruled by Venus... You moon and her sun were two sides to the same planet...

Oh... is that why I fell in love with her?

click to expand

It may explain some of it!
Go find yourself a leeb girly with a cancer moon and you'll be sorted 😉

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by LilliLou

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by LilliLou

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by DwellingOnMove

Posted by Reincarnation
Is that the Libra broad?

Consider it a blessing, brother. Find yourself a water woman.

his guilty venusian moon

Venusian moon?

Taurus and Libra are both ruled by Venus... You moon and her sun were two sides to the same planet...

Oh... is that why I fell in love with her?

It may explain some of it!
Go find yourself a leeb girly with a cancer moon and you'll be sorted 😉

click to expand

I'm pretty sure I'm going to stay far away from Libra's for sometime. In fact I'm probably going to stay away from the dating scene for a while. Most girls I meet are after sex. I'm past all that. I want more.

Profile picture of Shruikan
@Shruikan
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by LilliLou
Or a bullette with a few watery placements??

Hehe, I said that about bloody Leo's *mutters "bloody Leo's"*

So far, I've never dated anyone I'm supposed to be "compatible" with. I've been very picky so I've only had two real relationships. I thought this one was it.

Profile picture of Sn1p3r187
@Sn1p3r187
13 Years5,000+ PostsCapricorn

Things happen man. It's just best to move on and look to the future. I'm sure things will get better an you'll find some one equal to if not better than your old love. Trust me, I believe in ya on this.

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