Virgo needs space

I need input from Virgo men. I have been with my partner for 18 months. The only time we have broken up is when I tell him he isn't being affectionate during the times when he is quiet and moody. He then starts a fight and we don't see each other or talk for weeks. I have always been the first to call and break the ice. This happened again and I told him I would give him some space. He said I don't think about his needs (Virgo) and all I think about are my needs (Taurus) and that is how the last conversation ended with him telling me to think about his needs. It has now been 9 days since that call. Which I made by the way. It has been 15 days since we have seen each other. We had talked about our future together before this happened. What is up with Virgo's. What does he want? I know he loves me but why hasn't he called? I feel like it is up to him since he said he needed space. Also, I have his house key and I have a lot of stuff at his house. What do I do?

Well from my experience he surely is too proud to make 'the move'. Virgo men would rather stew or lose a potential great prospect because they feel they are some prince who needs to be catered to. Really annoying in my opinion. Being involved with a male virgo is literally like pulling teeth. Is like trying to fight with a two year old.

OH MY GOD! YOU SAID IT! I dated a virgo man for 10 months ( I am a cancer), and it was like having a relationship with a 5 year old. I never quite knew where I "fit in" to the relationship because he was just difficult, therefore making me anxious, frustrrated, and emotionally exhausting. We finally broke up and didn't speak for 8 months. I "broke the ice", becauase I can't stand having turmoil with anyone. We did rekindle a friendship - but I can tell, "homey" hasn't changed much. I loved him dearly, but he drove my nuts as a boyfriend. Very hard to keep up with on an emotional level.

I agree. I am also a taurus and have been involved with a virgo male for the last 6 years, until recently. We are still battling our relationship, though.There have been several times in the last 6 years where he just cut me off, but it never lasted for over a week and a 1/2. Eventually he would call, or like you, I would have to call and break the ice, and then he wouldn't stop calling until the next time he got in one of these moods. I don't know why they get like that, that's where were at right now. He hasn't called for a week, but I am glad becuz I am tired of it. We lived together for 5 years until I recently moved out, I am now realizing that it's obviously not going to work no matter how apoligetic he gets when he finally does call again, which he will. I've had many virgos throughout my life, and trust me, when he's away for these short periods of time, he's propbably got someone else there on the side. Virgos aren't the most truthful of signs, and they're not the most faithful either. But everyone is different. Maybe he's just going through some things. They don't seem to handle problems too well and tend to run away from them. That's were taurus is good to help them out, but it does get old.

Thank you Taurus for telling me about your experience. I always thought Taurus and Virgo were a good combination. I actually had another Virgo boyfriend for 20 years. Whenever we were single we would get back together. We loved each other and I felt secure with that love. But this new Virgo man.. he finally called after I had sent him a friendly e-mail and a concerned voice mail message. We saw each other last Sunday. (It had been 30 days) He was romantic and sweet but not much talk about his feelings except to make it seem like it had all been my fault. We have talked one time since then. It feels strained. I have no idea what he is thinking. Mixed messages. This is too difficult.

Mixed messages indeed. I am not romantically involved with a virgo. It was a simple friendship. That couldn't even work out. I'm a female scorpio. He would tell me constantly, just be yourself. I was myself, and he didn't like it. I wasn't allowed to get angry either. I felt like a math equation that didn't fit his mold. Too much work indeed for me. Good luck everyone.

It's me again. Mixed messages. His idea of space was... I was always there when he needed a friend. When I needed him, he needed his space. So I gave him permanant space.

I always thought Taurus and Virgo were supposed to be a good combo too, but he made me change my mind. But I have been involved with two other virgos, also and it wasn't that bad but they were a mix of what my ex was. One of them was very sweet and completely faithful, but was very needy and childess. The other one did everything he could to take care of me, but he was unfaithful. I think it all just depends on what the Taurus is willing to put up with, like they're contolling, everybody-does-everything-the-wrong-way-but-them attitude, but the sad thing is the taurus seems to put up with BS just to try to make it last. A virgo-taurus physical love is great though.

Taurus Female

I am the cancer male that responded above. It's so nice to hear that other folks are having or have had the same experiences as myself with virgo mates. When it was good, it was the best, but you guys are too difficlt to figure out. Like I said, we rekindled a friendship (slowly) on a small scale.
I know he still cares alot about me because now wants to "hang out" with me, and he was the one who broke up.
No, he wasn't faithful, and seemed to always have an agenda. I certainly don't want to bash virgos, because you guys have some wonderful qualities, just inconsistant, and sometimes emotionally unavailable. Oh well -

Cancer male.

Just listen to your instincts. They are right on the mark. They will never let you down. And when you start to have those inner voices doubting your instincts. Block them out with a fortress of walls. Good Luck!

I am the Taurus woman with Virgo boyfriend. I read the one above about the Virgo needing you when they had the need but when you had a need he needed space. Well, how true that is. My Virgo thinks I am the selfish one but I have always been there for the big things in his life. I had a death in the family and he just found that was a time to decide to isolate so I went through that alone. Then a promotion happened for me at work and I was so very happy until he chose that time to need space. What is it about heavy emotional times that they can't/won't deal with? They don't admit that they are hiding from it. He blames me and the timing is just a coincidence.

Hi. I am new here, but always read this message board. I am a Capricorn female (41) right on the cusp of Aquarius, also in love with a Virgo male (42), and confused about him. I have known him for 2 years, but within the past 9 months I've realized what, and how deeply, I feel for him. Although, I felt a strong connection to him, and instant strong feelings for him, when we first met. I have always felt that connection to him. We finish each other's sentences, he says things I'm thinking, I say things he's thinking. We appear to have a wonderful relationship, and I am able to talk to him about almost anything - except how I feel about him. I spend alot of time at his house with him and his 2 kids, who I am also very involved with and attached to (they wish their dad and I would get married), and I love them very much. He and I even act like we're married most of the time. But, I have yet to find out where I actually stand with him. I don't even know if he even considers me his girlfriend, or what he feels for me. I know he cares about me. I just don't know to what extent. He doesn't talk about feelings, talks around. Acts his feelings, doesn't speak them? I don't talk to him about how I feel about him, because I'm afraid that would push him away. My friends say I should tell him, ask him where I stand. I just don't seem to be able to do that. He's not very often an outwardly affectionate person, but does show affection towards me sometimes - small kisses on the lips, hugs, playful gestures and touching. Alot of how he acts depends on his mood, really. Should any of this give me an indication of how he actually does feel about me, without me having to outright ask him? I really want this to be a lasting, committed, relationship. I can't see my life without him in it.

I am a cancer man that was deeply in love with virgo man. Of course, I always express my feelings, which are genuine, and always made him feel secure and safe. HOWEVER - I didn't feel the same. Their emotions are in glass - unable to truly express how they feel. They are the sign of communcation - so, I ask, where is it?
I must feel emotionally stable - and so should you. If you don't, then you have some things to consider. Good Luck!

To 198.81

Being a Taurus may work out better for you. You are both Earth signs. It goes way
beyond the Sun sign. I am a beginner with astrology. I am a Scorpio Sun with five
planets in my 7th house. Making any relationship work is extremely important to me.
I am married to an Aries Sun for 27 years. WE get along splendidly. My mother inlaw
is a Virgo Sun, we always get along, but she is cold and distant. My brother is a Virgo
Sun, he is married and even gave his kidney to his wife. He can disappear from my life
for months on end. He is also the biggest flirt on earth. We are very close. He can never
remember my birthday, I always remember his. He is the apple of my eye next to my son.
My 2 best friends for 25 years both passed away. Suddenly and too young. They were
also relationships that worked out perfectly. One was a Gemini Sun, the other an Aquarius
Sun. I get along with everyone. My mother is an Aries, my dad a Leo. We get along
wonderfully. My sister is a Capricorn, we get along well. I have 2 wonderful grown children
also. One a Sagittarius, one a Gemini. Raising them was such an easy task, I should of
had more children. We are extremely close. They are my life.

I am devoted to all my relationships.

Now to the Virgo Sun friend. He could'nt handle my intensity. Yes, I am intense.
When I pointed out to him that friends are supposed to accept each other for
how they are. He told me, I analyzed too much. Can you imagine a Virgo, the sign
of 'I Analyze' telling someone that...

I need equality in my relationships. Any relationship. This Virgo man was just
too detached. I can't be friends with detachment. In all of my 44 years on earth,
I have never met a person that I had to end the relationship. This Virgo man was
my first. He was also very critical about my anal traits. As he put it and pointed
out many times.

I have a Taurus male friend for 7 years now. He's a gift. I am blessed. He is always
there for me when I need him. My keyword is 'I desire' I need equality. I cannot
live in a state of limbo where any relationship is concerned. I have many other
relationships, that are wonderful. I won't list them all. I come to this conclusion.

All of my relationships work. Only ONE didn't. That leaves me with one thought
after careful analysis, LOL... This Virgo guy has issues... I don't.

I bend over backwards to make my relationships work. I'll be damned
if I allow anyone to walk all over me the way This Virgo guy did with
his own anal analysis of me.

This is my final analysis...LOL

My mother inlaw, my brother, and this guy are Virgos.
They are not there for me when I need them. I am there
when they need me. They don't do emotions well either.
I have to keep the mother inlaw and brother. The guy I
didn't.

I wrote a novel here... I hope I have helped.

198.81...I wish you all the luck in the world, with your Virgo.

I am sorry for your loss. Congrats on the promotion.

Ok, I need to figure out how to use the spacing properly on here. Forgive the text mess.

To 64.197

I think my post to 198.81 might help you. I can only share my personality and experiences with others. It is not my place to analyze Virgos. I also hesitate to give anyone advice on how to handle their Virgo. My Virgo friend did not work out. Who am I, to then tell anyone what will work. Be yourself. Trust your instincts. That is my motto. If I were you, I'd just confront him with my feelings and get the answers I need. They may not be the answers you want to hear. But, you will know once and for all where you stand with him. Also remember, words have different definitions for everyone. What love means to me, may be different from what it means to you, and him. Semantics seems to be an issue with Virgos... That is my humble opinion.

Good luck...

Cancer guy. You hit the issue right on. Emotional stability.

Takecare... Me

To 165.247
Thank you.
I can identify much of what you said about your Virgo and mine.
One thing I have realized with my Virgo sun boyfriend, in his defense, and that is that even though he doesn't verbalize his feelings at all.. he shows he cares in the things that he does. Not affection (that Taurus needs to feel loved) but with doing things that he thinks will make me happy. But, if I say I need more affection he gets angry because he feels that is a failure on his part. He is totally anal about stuff and makes things much more complicated than they need to be. I think he means well but just doesn't really know how to emotionally connect.

I am the Capricorn female above (64.197) in love with the Virgo male. Thank you for your advice 165.247. Still not sure right now if I can tell him how I feel. You are right 198.81 about Virgos not really being able to emotionally connect. The Virgo male in my life also does not express his feelings verbally, but with actions, small gestures, with kidding around and teasing in a playful manner, other little things like that. Should I look at these as an indication that he really does care about me? I really think he does. I think for him to actually talk about his feelings and his emotions scares him, and makes him feel uncomfortable. That's part of the reason I don't say anything to him about how I feel. I am also afraid that because it makes him uncomfortable, my saying something could push him away, and I could end up without him. I definitely don't want that. So, what do I do? Continue to not say anything, and let things progress as they have? Like I said before, I am confused.

Well, things are not the best with my Virgo man again. He is distancing and I am letting him have the space. But, I thought I would tell you something I noticed. Just try it once and if it doesn't work then you will know. I am the one who most of the time has to move toward my Virgo and the kinder and more loving I am the better it is. Mostly with affection, not words. But, the times I pull back and wait for him to come towards me nothing much happens and things feel strained. The more you love them the more love you feel back. But, nothing heavy just playful affection. Meaning during the non-sexual interplay that is.. Enjoy

I noticed that too with my virgo x-man.
We are now talking and communcating as friends now. I do notice however, because I am non-chalant about my interactions with him, he does have a sad, disappointing look to him when he looks at me. I will always love him, and hope we can continue a friendship between us. There is tremendous warmth and comfort between us. I think he realizes that he screwed up - and I love it!

All of you are on-point about Virgos! I'm the Taurus female who was involved and living with a Virgo for several years. They always are going to be down on themselves, maybe that's just in there nature, maybe that's why they flirt so much, to prove something to themselves. And yes, those little showings of affection do show that he cares, but don't expect too much affection. They're too self-indulged and they'd rather you "hang all over" them instead of them "hanging on" you. It's almost like they want to be babied and taken care of, they will take care of you when they can, when they are emotionally confident, which I have found not to be too often. And I had the same problem also, I was always there for my virgo whenever he needed me as he expected, but whenever I needed him he wasn't there. He still calls me constantly when he's having problems, but I can't get a hold of him when I need to talk to someone, and when I do get a hold of him, he doesn't listen too well, he's always too involved in what's going on in HIS life. My opinion, Virgo's are too much drama, they get angry very easily, but if you want to deal with the constant critisism, problems, and not much affection then more power to ya! They just don't handle life's difficulties too well, but again, that's just my experience.

Taurus Female

TOUCHE'
..Maybe my virgo boyfriend was yours too. (ha ha). Very true!

The way they are, you never know🙂

Taurus Female///

Makes me happy to be married to my Aries, LOL... He is so uncomplicated, easy to please, and emotionally attached to me. Hey! Maybe you all need to find an Aries... LOL...

I am a virgo female in love with a virgo male and we are one in the same. As a virgo, I can honestly say that an innate understanding of personal space must exist between the virgo and his/her partner. Instead of thinking of space as a distancer...why not think of it as a virgo's necessity? If space cannot be granted...it will always be an upheaval of misunderstanding. Trust me I know. We appreciate our 'space appreciation'.

Hey, laday above. I agree to hang out with someone who understand you, someone who doesn't question you "How come you need a space?" and blah blah blah. It happens that like signs don't get along well and unlike signs get along well. The important thing is to find someone who appreciates your traits.

I, a female Virgo, also tried to bend backwards to fit a partener's needs before. It was hard to work out that way. Now I learn to be myself. I might be critical, distant and demanding. I don't need to hang out with people who just see my negative traits. There are other who appreicate Virgos positive traits. They the friends I want to keep.

Way to go! Scorpio female here. I agree. I need my space too. I also can get weird with my emotions. I stay away from the people who don't like my negative traits. You either like the whole package... Or it's nothing... All or nothing. Do unto others. I accept people for who they are. My Virgo friend labeled me obsessive and told me, he chose to silence me. I told Mr Freeze, to each is own. Adios amigo. Who needs ya...

I posted here before. 98% of my relationships work. He went into my 2% group of difficult people. I label it... You are the weakest link... Goodbye...

Hmmm ..... I see a tough Virgo and a tough Scorpio here. Bad luck, my dear.

165:

Fellow Scorp female here--I agree with you 100% . Our personalities just aren't made to abide certain kinds of behavior, and when we're done...we're done. "You are the weakest link..GOODBYE!" Love it. A little harsh maybe, but I actually think that the more you approach any relationship or friendship with that "ripping off a band-aide" mentality, the better it is in the end for both parties.

phoenix_rising

209,

Hmm, Not bad luck. I just rid myself of false friends and assumptions.
There's something about labeling people and silencing them, that rubs me the wrong way.
He labeled me and silenced me. That's not being tough. That's running away.
Running away from an issue or person you cannot face is not needing space.
That's avoidance.

phoenix_rising,

Ditto... It's harsh for a second but it heals faster. Love that band aide analogy.

165,

Virgos silence people when they have some issues in mind. I have to say that it is immature behavior. I have tried to find out that why astrological books say that Virgos and Scorpios are compatible but I don't really see any Virgo-Scorpio couples in my life.

I have come across some Scorpios but never remain friends. My experience is that I can understand Scorpio's mind game. Oh! Don't get me wrong. The game could have good intention behind. To be honest, Virgos play mind game as well. In this case, Virgos don't want to be manipulated and tend to avoid. Scorpios take it as a sign of rejection. Then you are done.

Another thing bothers both parties is the emotional level. Scorpio's intensity scares Virgos. Virgos usually choose to avoid Scorpios before they have a chance to be real friends. I made up my mind to know Scorpios last year. I kept going no matter how much I couldn't bear the intensity. Then I saw the deep, royal and compassionate sides of Scorpios, which overwhelmed me. It was a very unforgettable experience to me. From then on, I have been more willing to understand Scorpios.

I, chose to know Scorpios, because I wanted to. Before that, I studied many astrological books throughoutly about you people. (Sorry, we are thinkers not feelers.) Virgos and Scorpios are half alike. We have similar traits. It will be really a wonderful thing if we can be friends or even couples.

A tough Virgo who silences people, and a tough Scorpio who turns her back to someone silences her miss a chance to know each other. That's what I said "bad luck". I believe only Scorpios who have/had Virgo friends understand what I am talking about. I am not encouraging you to bend backwards to fit other people's needs. I just want to say it would have been a big loss in my life if I hadn't given myself a chance to know a true Scorpio.

209,

Wow, thank you. It was thoughtful that you took the time to go into depth on this. I don't like to label it a Virgo thing either. It's just this one person. This was strictly a friendship. I really haven't studied Virgo/Scorpio relationships. Aside from my brother and mother inlaw, I don't know any.

I don't take you wrong. There is a mind game played. I think, we all do it. It's part of the attraction. Whether a couple, a friendship, or any relationship. Mine is never with hurtful intentions. It's always done with a light heart and in good fun. It is what attracted the two of us in the first place. You may be on to something about manipulation. He told me, he's a master at it. How can anyone think that's something to brag about? That is what made me back off. When, I backed away, he didn't like it. When I tried to communicate why I backed off and how I felt... Yes, that is when he rejected me. He told me, I over analyze and border on obsessing. I wasn't going to defend myself. There is nothing wrong with me. So, I said, goodbye. His reply to my goodbye was. "I chose silence because I didn't want to sound angry. I know this bothers you, I apologize, I have to do what is good for myself. Takecare of yourself." If he wants to put up a brick wall. Let him. I'm not smashing thru it. Besides, in order to, it takes communication. That's not possible with silence.

I do understand the thinker. I understand that as a feeler. I try to tone down my intensity. I would never force you to feel emotions that you are not comfortable with. It was his forcing his logic onto me. Everything was logic and he would tune out my feelings. It just was not a good combination. Coming to this board is helping me put it all into perspective. I understand your meaning of bad luck now.

It's over. No use in me dwelling over it. I just want to learn from this mistake. My relationships are important, and I don't like it... when one fails.

Thanks again. It was very thoughtful of you. I take it you are a Virgo?

I experienced the same thing with my ex virgo. Oh God - how exhausting and emotionally frustrating. I am a cancer. (talk about feelings). It took me a very long time to make peace with it all. I truly loved him, but know that it would never work. Too much manipulation and not enough communication. His loss!

Need advice again. I had been away from my Virgo boyfriend for a month in June when he needed space. Got back together for two weeks and then it happened again. He is dealing with mild depression and needs to take care of himself. Says he can't worry about my needs until he gets thru this. (sort of feel like his therapist might have told him that). When I asked what I could do to help him he said "let him be". So, I haven't called or e-mailed since then. I saw him the other night and we made eye contact and could feel the love going both directions. He looked sad. Do I wait for him to make the first move to reconnect? I am trying to honor my promise to let him be. Will A Virgo man have the courage to take that first step back when he is ready if he loves enough? I keep stopping myself from making the first move. For a Taurus that isn't easy. I have other messages in here. I have been going through this off and on since June 10. I made the first call that time and got us back together. But, maybe it was premature. Found out during that break he had been listening to Chris Isaak songs and feeling lost. (even though it had been his choice) Virgo's help or anyone else that has gone through this with a Virgo .. Will a Virgo reach out eventually?
Taurus Lady

not a taurus or a virgo, but a cancer, who's experienced the same thing. Mu virgo broke off with me 10months ago. We didn't speak for 8. Lately, our paths have been crossing and he gives me that "look" that you were talking about. Saw him yesterday, and caught him giving me that "look" again. I am vey non chalant about it. I am kind and loving toward him when I see him, but in control and in check with my emotions. No pressure, no nothing. For what used to be an emotional roller coaster, sure has changed direction, and it feels good.

I'm also a cancer dating a virgo male. He's very hard to understand his point of view. I'm not really sure if he likes me or he just wants to be friends really I'm tired of the B.S., the sex is great. I don't have a problem giving him space because I need some of my own.

166,

Let go of your love to that Virgo. One day he will come back to love you, in a different name and body.

Esther

64..

Do you see what Esther wrote?

166.

i am a piesces and fall in love with a virgo man and broke my heart.he just left me wondering what was wrong with our love.i understand he needed a space but would it be more nicer if honest with himself.

allo a nice start....
Well I think everybody do need space of our owns, not only Virgo...
We need space to rethink on the matter of fact happens in our lives, to grow up...... and then come back to live again......

That's it.....
We can't tie up just at 1 place...without anything put back on 1 piece?.

Cheers taurus female...
Wish u goodluck!

If I keep telling a kid not to touch fire beacuse it burns but he tries to prove he is too clear to be burned, I will let him touch fire.

Sometimes we learn things in the hard way.

Update. After 2 months... Virgo friend has contacted me. What? I'm not obsessive anymore? Did he get enough of space to make it all go away? I'm in no mood to play games at my age... I have no desire to touch the fire...

Whew....thanks God.

attn 209.

Yes we do, yes we do. I let my virgo ex "touch the fire", and now he wants me back and misses me. I reminded him that what he gave up was real and true, and hopefully, he will learn from that. What a process, however! Whew!

Pisces Here

It seems that all I have ever dated were earth signs and all were pretty good relationships. They all seemed to cater to me as if I were a baby cub and they were papa bears. The last virgo I dated was also very much like most of you have described. CHILDISH. He would cut his nose to spit his face, he would say something that he knew may sound stupid but got off if it hurt your feelings. He, to this very day misses me terriblly because, you see I had to make him pay for all those little games he tried to play on me. Now I feel like I'm being stalked because he won't let it go.

My question is how do you get ride of a pesty Virgo.

166,

I believe if you EVER loved a person from the bottom of your heart, you would choose to let things go instead of talking about the same thing ever and ever.

When a relationship goes wrong, both parties will have different stories. We are not saints. We all do dumb things in relationships. But personally I do not think it is nice to say things like "He came back to me and I didn't give him a damn." and blah blah blah. Yes, you win but what is your prize?

Haven't your Virgo done anything nice to you? Have you hurt your Virgo in a way you might not even realize? Have you ....? Is your Virgo the only person should be blame ?


It is hard to face a ruined relationship. It is even harder to face it with DIGNITY.

Attn 209 -

Your're right. Yes, my virgo has done some wonderful things for me. I dont think that the relationship is ruined at all. It has been a wonderful learining experience for us both. You just don't know the circumstances behind it. Not pretty, however, we are both better people from it.

I am the Capricorn female in love with the Virgo male. How much space do Virgos want or need?
Last Mon. night, my Virgo came home from a trip in which he had been gone for 5 days. Everything was great between us that night. He even let me drive his truck home. I took it back the next day so he could go to work. Everything was good then, also. He kissed me before he left for work. I had to stay at his house that night because I didn't have a ride back home (he works out of town for the RR). I was supposed to have a ride home, but didn't, and he had said I could stay there anytime I wanted to.
So that night, I cooked some stuff for him to take with him to work, since he usually doesn't cook for himself and ends up taking sandwiches most of the time. I left a note for when he got home as to what was in the fridge.
Didn't hear from him for a couple of days, then he called that evening (I had left a message on his recorder that day, but not about the food-my neice wanted to go play with his kids) to say thank you. Talked about the situation with his kids and his ex (bad situation). Asked him to call me in a couple of days and please let me know what was going on, and how things were going.
That was 4 days ago. Called yesterday and left a message just saying hi, and asking him how he is. Mentioned nothing about the kids or the situation. Have not heard from him at all.
Beginning to wonder if I said or did something wrong. If I did, I don't know what. But I'm not about to call him again and leave another message, or talk to him. I think he should call me. Am I right? No matter how long it is? I am hurt, my heart is breaking, and I don't know what to do. Anyone help? If I give him all the space and time he needs, will he come back? Have never loved any man like I do him, or as much as I do him.

You sound like this is somewhat torture. You must face it, this is just the way they are - push me, pull me.
I know you love him sooo very much - buy can you really live this way? Keep me posted.

Cancer man