'Deezie' rascal?...

Hey here's a story I must write to you all folks

My mother was the one who shot you in the stomach.

My mother took my Boyfriend and Bestfriend away from me in that one night you were date drugged and date raped. i lost both my Bestfriends' and have never been the same since. I hate my mother for doing this to you both. I hope that you will forgive me because of my mother. I dont remember what actually happened but I havent forgotten either. All's I know is this is what happened and I hate my mother because of this. I have visions coming to me and dreams and thoughts associated with this night. I didnt understand why these visions dreams and thoughts were happening but now I am beginning to atleast understand why I am having these things coming to me most of the time. They must have drugged me reall good to make me forget or not remember or not even think about things. Too bad for them eh? Makes me wonder what drugs was I pumped with to forget, to not remember or even to not even think?! (how dangerous I am...)

I would like to thank you for watching over me. Without you by my side in the crib yeh you just sitting there and praying I would make it, I wouldnt be here and again its people such as yourself that make this a beautiful place by being in it. I saw a vision of someone sitting on a chair reading or looking at a book, opposite a crib, I was looking over your shoulder umming and ahrring at whether or not to stay or go, I didnt have to be here at all I told myself and still ask myself why am I here at all?, I saw you there just sitting there praying so hard and reading and trying to understand why? when I was wondering at why you was wondering why? and saw something that made me realise and to this day (I still dont know what it was just that it is)-why I am here-and I also realised I couldnt leave you and I didnt want to and made my mind up then and there to stay and here I am so yeh its been a trip I'll say and a big one at that.

This is the thing, was it a vision, dream, mere thoughts or something much more, its these thoughts that churn in my mind that make me wonder but now that I am beginning to piece it all together it has become clearer to me though still abit hazy. I have that in me and now am becoming aware of it in its entirety.

I feel so stupid. I hate having this things that come to me. Though I have learnt to deal with it the best I can its hard not to wonder wtf?

Why oh why?

Did I not remember before?

Am I that stupid?

To not remember?

What the fuck did happen?

And most importantly, where did the time go?

This story, though it has ended, it has also begun again this time anew...