Mocha
@Mochakitty4
5 Years
Comments: 2 · Posts: 25 · Topics: 1
I honestly don’t know if this Capricorn is into me...
Why does it have to be either no tittles or serious relationship? There's a middle ground here if he's that squeamish about labels.
Exclusively date each other, no gf/bf label.
Shouldn't be an issue if in fact he isn't seeing anyone else.
You've already spent 7 months with him so ask yourself if your willing to give another 6 months.
I do agree that you should have a cutout time in mind.
Exclusively date each other, no gf/bf label.
Shouldn't be an issue if in fact he isn't seeing anyone else.
You've already spent 7 months with him so ask yourself if your willing to give another 6 months.
I do agree that you should have a cutout time in mind.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Why does it have to be either no tittles or serious relationship? There's a middle ground here if he's that squeamish about labels.
Exclusively date each other, no gf/bf label.
Shouldn't be an issue if in fact he isn't seeing anyone else.
You've already spent 7 months with him so ask yourself if your willing to give another 6 months.
I do agree that you should have a cutout time in mind.
Thanks for taking the time to read my lengthy post and give feedback...I agree with what you mentioned. I was thinking the same thing with the middle ground thought. We did have another talk a few days ago actually, so we’re exclusive now. He still is squeamish on no title but I will definitely keep that cut off time in mind.
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Posted by SassyKiwi
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Yes, I do make it clear. But not everyone tells the truth.
Posted by Mochakitty4Posted by SassyKiwi
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Yes, I do make it clear. But not everyone tells the truth.click to expand
You didn’t make it clear enough. If you want marriage, children and a family home, say so. With a bloody timetable! Like: if we love each other and get on well after 6 months, I would like us to move together. Engaged after one year. Married and pregnant by the second anniversary.
How difficult is to spell it out during the first date? You weed out the time wasters from the start.
People who don’t commit to anything serious and long term are serial daters. If you want one year something situationship, aka sex and texts until one of you needs a change of scenery and partner, go for it and don’t complain. It is what it is. If not, don’t betray your needs.
Put up his chart @Mochakitty4
Posted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShine
Put up his chart @Mochakitty4
I don’t know what that means...click to expand
Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by SassyKiwi
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Yes, I do make it clear. But not everyone tells the truth.
You didn’t make it clear enough. If you want marriage, children and a family home, say so. With a bloody timetable! Like: if we love each other and get on well after 6 months, I would like us to move together. Engaged after one year. Married and pregnant by the second anniversary.
How difficult is to spell it out during the first date? You weed out the time wasters from the start.
People who don’t commit to anything serious and long term are serial daters. If you want one year something situationship, aka sex and texts until one of you needs a change of scenery and partner, go for it and don’t complain. It is what it is. If not, don’t betray your needs.click to expand
I did make it clear on the first week of hat I was looking for and he told me what he wanted too. I know it seems from that little snip I didn’t do that but now that you have emphasized on that I can give you more information.
I’m not complaining I’m just trying to get advice from a Capricorn point of view to understand if that’s normal behavior.
There are those that take their time and need a lot of alone time and space and that’s ok, those people are the ones that should be in relationships with each other ... then there are people that are full on, they know what they want. They want and need constant contact and affirmations, they should also be in relationships with each other. Look for your equal, look for the person that gives what you need and make your life easier for yourself.
Posted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShine
Put up his chart @Mochakitty4
I don’t know what that means...click to expand
Get the date time and town of birth and create a natal chart at astro.com
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShine
Put up his chart @Mochakitty4
I don’t know what that means...
Get the date time and town of birth and create a natal chart at astro.comclick to expand
He was born 1/9 that’s all I know lol it’s going to be suspicious if I ask for the time of birth lol
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Mochakitty4Posted by SassyKiwi
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Yes, I do make it clear. But not everyone tells the truth.
Btw I was married to a Cap forever. How is sex?click to expand
Out of this world good
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShine
Put up his chart @Mochakitty4
I don’t know what that means...
Get the date time and town of birth and create a natal chart at astro.com
He was born 1/9 that’s all I know lol it’s going to be suspicious if I ask for the time of birth lol
After 7 months together you can’t ask him a simple question even if not as simple as ‘how are you’...without thinking twice?
What kind of rship are you IN woman? Do you even have sex? Enough is that you standing him being on dating site - you can’t ask question?!!
Forget it...it’s just dumb!
And you in astrology forum btw...birth charts are REQUIRED!click to expand
Ok there’s only so much to cover. Honestly, I just googled the forum and found this I don’t know anything about charts please be gentle with me.
Yes, I saw him using a dating app but I also was using it too!! in the beginning but this has actually been addressed already. He is not on it anymore. I also am a firm believer in to see how things go and I don’t want to act like a crazy person accusing someone of doing something when I’m doing the same thing (at that time.) But that’s not an issue anymore. We had a talk the other day and we are not on dating apps Or seeing other people.
Posted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Postea by MyStarsShine
Put up his chart @Mochakitty4
I don’t know what that means...
Get the date time and town of birth and create a natal chart at astro.com
He was born 1/9 that’s all I know lol it’s going to be suspicious if I ask for the time of birth lolclick to expand
Do you have you year and town? It’ll give you some info but not all...
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Postea by MyStarsShine
Put up his chart @Mochakitty4
I don’t know what that means...
Get the date time and town of birth and create a natal chart at astro.com
He was born 1/9 that’s all I know lol it’s going to be suspicious if I ask for the time of birth lol
Do you have you year and town? It’ll give you some info but not all...click to expand
1/9/84 Pennsylvania!!
Posted by sweethearts
There are those that take their time and need a lot of alone time and space and that’s ok, those people are the ones that should be in relationships with each other ... then there are people that are full on, they know what they want. They want and need constant contact and affirmations, they should also be in relationships with each other. Look for your equal, look for the person that gives what you need and make your life easier for yourself.
Yes, I do see where you’re coming from. In the past I have been used to things happening very quickly in a relationship where I found myself ittt heart broken and it ended up being a tornado more than anything when y’all thought it was love. This time around it’s slow which I’m not fully complaining it’s nice to take a different pace and enjoy the person and see their personality, how they are with their friends and around me. I actually think he grounds me and helps me to reason things more clearly instead of going head first in a shallow end. So I do appreciate that approach from what I’ve experienced.
Posted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Postea by MyStarsShine
Put up his chart @Mochakitty4
I don’t know what that means...
Get the date time and town of birth and create a natal chart at astro.com
He was born 1/9 that’s all I know lol it’s going to be suspicious if I ask for the time of birth lol
Do you have you year and town? It’ll give you some info but not all...
1/9/84 Pennsylvania!!click to expand
Will i take a look?
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Postea by MyStarsShine
Put up his chart @Mochakitty4
I don’t know what that means...
Get the date time and town of birth and create a natal chart at astro.com
He was born 1/9 that’s all I know lol it’s going to be suspicious if I ask for the time of birth lol
Do you have you year and town? It’ll give you some info but not all...
1/9/84 Pennsylvania!!
Will i take a look?click to expand
Anything helps 🙂
Posted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Mochakitty4Postea by MyStarsShine
Put up his chart @Mochakitty4
I don’t know what that means...
Get the date time and town of birth and create a natal chart at astro.com
He was born 1/9 that’s all I know lol it’s going to be suspicious if I ask for the time of birth lol
Do you have you year and town? It’ll give you some info but not all...
1/9/84 Pennsylvania!!
Will i take a look?
Anything helps 🙂click to expand
Will take a look
Back later
Posted by frozenintime
If a man wants you he will make it known! You shouldn't have to pry feelings out of him!
althought Caps can be reserved and take a long time to open up but at the same time it sounds like youre not compatible in what you both are wanting or seeing out of the relationship.
Maybe you need to tell him exactly this.. If there isn't not a future you're both wasting your time.
DO NOT SETTLE!!!!
The thing is he has opens up a lot to me. He has even told me several times that He’s shared more with me than he has with anyone. So I kinda see that as a good sign. I pry because he honestly is like a robot lol. He will say he misses me, IF I say it first. He’s really reserved, I see that. I am not a person that shares my feelings much but I have gotten better with that with the last couple of years, so I understand that. I do think he has commitment issues because of his past. He was married before too...
Posted by Wildd_Flo
Aren't caps slow about moving forward? Like aqua slow.
I never dated a cap before but I’ve read about it 🧐
Posted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by SassyKiwi
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Yes, I do make it clear. But not everyone tells the truth.
You didn’t make it clear enough. If you want marriage, children and a family home, say so. With a bloody timetable! Like: if we love each other and get on well after 6 months, I would like us to move together. Engaged after one year. Married and pregnant by the second anniversary.
How difficult is to spell it out during the first date? You weed out the time wasters from the start.
People who don’t commit to anything serious and long term are serial daters. If you want one year something situationship, aka sex and texts until one of you needs a change of scenery and partner, go for it and don’t complain. It is what it is. If not, don’t betray your needs.
I did make it clear on the first week of hat I was looking for and he told me what he wanted too. I know it seems from that little snip I didn’t do that but now that you have emphasized on that I can give you more information.
I’m not complaining I’m just trying to get advice from a Capricorn point of view to understand if that’s normal behavior.click to expand
Errr....is that what you told him during the first date? That you are looking for someone who "wants a serious relationship but sometimes doesn’t"? Who "wants to live in the moment and not have any titles"? If this is NOT what you expected from a man, why did you betray your expectations?
Posted by Wildd_Flo
Aren't caps slow about moving forward? Like aqua slow.
Depends on a cap and how ready he is. I dated a cap who introduced me to his parents a month into dating and gave me the keys of the apartment the first night I slept there, and I dated another cap who I had an insane connection with on all levels and we both admitted it but he never committed.
@Mochakitty4....
He is Sagittarius, Jupiter and fire dominant which means he is freedom loving and spontaneous. He also has Venus conjunct Uranus so again he needs rships that allow him freedom or even unconventional ones.
This guy probably doesn't want to be tied down too soon....?
He is Sagittarius, Jupiter and fire dominant which means he is freedom loving and spontaneous. He also has Venus conjunct Uranus so again he needs rships that allow him freedom or even unconventional ones.
This guy probably doesn't want to be tied down too soon....?
Posted by MyStarsShine
@Mochakitty4....
He is Sagittarius, Jupiter and fire dominant which means he is freedom loving and spontaneous. He also has Venus conjunct Uranus so again he needs rships that allow him freedom or even unconventional ones.
This guy probably doesn't want to be tied down too soon....?
Yes, he likes his freedom. As do I. So that sounds pretty accurate.
In our conversations of that topic he’s on the fence with that as long as it happens naturally. So, I let him fly like a bird. wondering if this behavior is normal lol...
Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by SassyKiwi
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Yes, I do make it clear. But not everyone tells the truth.
You didn’t make it clear enough. If you want marriage, children and a family home, say so. With a bloody timetable! Like: if we love each other and get on well after 6 months, I would like us to move together. Engaged after one year. Married and pregnant by the second anniversary.
How difficult is to spell it out during the first date? You weed out the time wasters from the start.
People who don’t commit to anything serious and long term are serial daters. If you want one year something situationship, aka sex and texts until one of you needs a change of scenery and partner, go for it and don’t complain. It is what it is. If not, don’t betray your needs.
I did make it clear on the first week of hat I was looking for and he told me what he wanted too. I know it seems from that little snip I didn’t do that but now that you have emphasized on that I can give you more information.
I’m not complaining I’m just trying to get advice from a Capricorn point of view to understand if that’s normal behavior.
Errr....is that what you told him during the first date? That you are looking for someone who "wants a serious relationship but sometimes doesn’t"? Who "wants to live in the moment and not have any titles"? If this is NOT what you expected from a man, why did you betray your expectations?click to expand
He didn’t say that in the beginning. So I didn’t betray my expectations initially. Then we talked after 3 months and that was new to me. I obviously struggled after that and dated other men. As of recently we are exclusive now, so I was trying to figure out what this all meant and the behavior.
Posted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by SassyKiwi
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Yes, I do make it clear. But not everyone tells the truth.
You didn’t make it clear enough. If you want marriage, children and a family home, say so. With a bloody timetable! Like: if we love each other and get on well after 6 months, I would like us to move together. Engaged after one year. Married and pregnant by the second anniversary.
How difficult is to spell it out during the first date? You weed out the time wasters from the start.
People who don’t commit to anything serious and long term are serial daters. If you want one year something situationship, aka sex and texts until one of you needs a change of scenery and partner, go for it and don’t complain. It is what it is. If not, don’t betray your needs.
I did make it clear on the first week of hat I was looking for and he told me what he wanted too. I know it seems from that little snip I didn’t do that but now that you have emphasized on that I can give you more information.
I’m not complaining I’m just trying to get advice from a Capricorn point of view to understand if that’s normal behavior.
Errr....is that what you told him during the first date? That you are looking for someone who "wants a serious relationship but sometimes doesn’t"? Who "wants to live in the moment and not have any titles"? If this is NOT what you expected from a man, why did you betray your expectations?
He didn’t say that in the beginning. So I didn’t betray my expectations initially. Then we talked after 3 months and that was new to me. I obviously struggled after that and dated other men. As of recently we are exclusive now, so I was trying to figure out what this all meant and the behavior.click to expand
What made you give up dating other men?
Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by SassyKiwi
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Yes, I do make it clear. But not everyone tells the truth.
You didn’t make it clear enough. If you want marriage, children and a family home, say so. With a bloody timetable! Like: if we love each other and get on well after 6 months, I would like us to move together. Engaged after one year. Married and pregnant by the second anniversary.
How difficult is to spell it out during the first date? You weed out the time wasters from the start.
People who don’t commit to anything serious and long term are serial daters. If you want one year something situationship, aka sex and texts until one of you needs a change of scenery and partner, go for it and don’t complain. It is what it is. If not, don’t betray your needs.
I did make it clear on the first week of hat I was looking for and he told me what he wanted too. I know it seems from that little snip I didn’t do that but now that you have emphasized on that I can give you more information.
I’m not complaining I’m just trying to get advice from a Capricorn point of view to understand if that’s normal behavior.
Errr....is that what you told him during the first date? That you are looking for someone who "wants a serious relationship but sometimes doesn’t"? Who "wants to live in the moment and not have any titles"? If this is NOT what you expected from a man, why did you betray your expectations?
He didn’t say that in the beginning. So I didn’t betray my expectations initially. Then we talked after 3 months and that was new to me. I obviously struggled after that and dated other men. As of recently we are exclusive now, so I was trying to figure out what this all meant and the behavior.
What made you give up dating other men?click to expand
Well tbh Undine...it’s draining and I have no energy rn. I’m at the point where I have accepted being alone again if this doesn’t work out...I have been single for a While so I’m kinda used to it. I just don’t care anymore and idk of thats a bad place to be but I need to recharge my energy to do that again..I was just wondering what’s up with this cap... I did try see other men and they either ghosted or faded away or nothing clicked or made it past 2 weeks....but the LAST date I went on scared me as he was attempting some shady stuff for date 2 and after a week of talking his good morning texts and sweet behavior turned into inappropriate/passive aggressive towards me because I declined to carpool with him 😳 I’m not kidding. (but that’s a long story for another day) It was too much. So I am taking a breather. Idk of you online date but it’s brutalllll out there.
Posted by frozenintimePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by frozenintime
If a man wants you he will make it known! You shouldn't have to pry feelings out of him!
althought Caps can be reserved and take a long time to open up but at the same time it sounds like youre not compatible in what you both are wanting or seeing out of the relationship.
Maybe you need to tell him exactly this.. If there isn't not a future you're both wasting your time.
DO NOT SETTLE!!!!
The thing is he has opens up a lot to me. He has even told me several times that He’s shared more with me than he has with anyone. So I kinda see that as a good sign. I pry because he honestly is like a robot lol. He will say he misses me, IF I say it first. He’s really reserved, I see that. I am not a person that shares my feelings much but I have gotten better with that with the last couple of years, so I understand that. I do think he has commitment issues because of his past. He was married before too...
Maybe you just need some patience
I had a friend that had a cap guy friend she was crazy about, admitted her feelings and he didn't do anything about it
2 years later he is confessing his undying love for her and now she says its too late and he is A MESS
They just move at their own pace I supposeclick to expand
I’m just taking one day at a time. But dang that’s crazy lol
Posted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by SassyKiwi
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Yes, I do make it clear. But not everyone tells the truth.
You didn’t make it clear enough. If you want marriage, children and a family home, say so. With a bloody timetable! Like: if we love each other and get on well after 6 months, I would like us to move together. Engaged after one year. Married and pregnant by the second anniversary.
How difficult is to spell it out during the first date? You weed out the time wasters from the start.
People who don’t commit to anything serious and long term are serial daters. If you want one year something situationship, aka sex and texts until one of you needs a change of scenery and partner, go for it and don’t complain. It is what it is. If not, don’t betray your needs.
I did make it clear on the first week of hat I was looking for and he told me what he wanted too. I know it seems from that little snip I didn’t do that but now that you have emphasized on that I can give you more information.
I’m not complaining I’m just trying to get advice from a Capricorn point of view to understand if that’s normal behavior.
Errr....is that what you told him during the first date? That you are looking for someone who "wants a serious relationship but sometimes doesn’t"? Who "wants to live in the moment and not have any titles"? If this is NOT what you expected from a man, why did you betray your expectations?
He didn’t say that in the beginning. So I didn’t betray my expectations initially. Then we talked after 3 months and that was new to me. I obviously struggled after that and dated other men. As of recently we are exclusive now, so I was trying to figure out what this all meant and the behavior.
What made you give up dating other men?
Well tbh Undine...it’s draining and I have no energy rn. I’m at the point where I have accepted being alone again if this doesn’t work out...I have been single for a While so I’m kinda used to it. I just don’t care anymore and idk of thats a bad place to be but I need to recharge my energy to do that again..I was just wondering what’s up with this cap... I did try see other men and they either ghosted or faded away or nothing clicked or made it past 2 weeks....but the LAST date I went on scared me as he was attempting some shady stuff for date 2 and after a week of talking his good morning texts and sweet behavior turned into inappropriate/passive aggressive towards me because I declined to carpool with him 😳 I’m not kidding. (but that’s a long story for another day) It was too much. So I am taking a breather. Idk of you online date but it’s brutalllll out there.click to expand
You sound so lovely! By all means, take a break from dating. Do something about the Cap firstly. I can sense your disappointment, and it needs to be addressed before it turns to resentment. See if your relationship can be rescued. Do you love each other? Do you ever talk about the future? Is he willing to compromise, or expecting you to do all the compromising? What solutions is he coming with?
Posted by Mochakitty4Posted by LadyNeptune
Why does it have to be either no tittles or serious relationship? There's a middle ground here if he's that squeamish about labels.
Exclusively date each other, no gf/bf label.
Shouldn't be an issue if in fact he isn't seeing anyone else.
You've already spent 7 months with him so ask yourself if your willing to give another 6 months.
I do agree that you should have a cutout time in mind.
Thanks for taking the time to read my lengthy post and give feedback...I agree with what you mentioned. I was thinking the same thing with the middle ground thought. We did have another talk a few days ago actually, so we’re exclusive now. He still is squeamish on no title but I will definitely keep that cut off time in mind.click to expand
Well that’s something at least.
I struggle with the 7 months because in my mind (and I’m cap dominant, more cap than most cap suns) 7 months is more than long enough to know if you see something long term with the person.
Unless it’s long distance or you only meet every few weeks...
Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by UndinePosted by Mochakitty4Posted by SassyKiwi
“I don’t like games and I’m tired of meeting a grown man that isn’t ready (it’s sadly a reoccurring theme)”
Do you not disclose from the first date that you’re looking for someone serious to settle down with soon? Because it will continue to be a reoccurring theme until you make it clear from the beginning with everyone that you are not looking to waste time on a prospect who just wants to have you around when they’re feeling bored with their freedom...
Yes, I do make it clear. But not everyone tells the truth.
You didn’t make it clear enough. If you want marriage, children and a family home, say so. With a bloody timetable! Like: if we love each other and get on well after 6 months, I would like us to move together. Engaged after one year. Married and pregnant by the second anniversary.
How difficult is to spell it out during the first date? You weed out the time wasters from the start.
People who don’t commit to anything serious and long term are serial daters. If you want one year something situationship, aka sex and texts until one of you needs a change of scenery and partner, go for it and don’t complain. It is what it is. If not, don’t betray your needs.
I did make it clear on the first week of hat I was looking for and he told me what he wanted too. I know it seems from that little snip I didn’t do that but now that you have emphasized on that I can give you more information.
I’m not complaining I’m just trying to get advice from a Capricorn point of view to understand if that’s normal behavior.
Errr....is that what you told him during the first date? That you are looking for someone who "wants a serious relationship but sometimes doesn’t"? Who "wants to live in the moment and not have any titles"? If this is NOT what you expected from a man, why did you betray your expectations?
He didn’t say that in the beginning. So I didn’t betray my expectations initially. Then we talked after 3 months and that was new to me. I obviously struggled after that and dated other men. As of recently we are exclusive now, so I was trying to figure out what this all meant and the behavior.
What made you give up dating other men?
Well tbh Undine...it’s draining and I have no energy rn. I’m at the point where I have accepted being alone again if this doesn’t work out...I have been single for a While so I’m kinda used to it. I just don’t care anymore and idk of thats a bad place to be but I need to recharge my energy to do that again..I was just wondering what’s up with this cap... I did try see other men and they either ghosted or faded away or nothing clicked or made it past 2 weeks....but the LAST date I went on scared me as he was attempting some shady stuff for date 2 and after a week of talking his good morning texts and sweet behavior turned into inappropriate/passive aggressive towards me because I declined to carpool with him 😳 I’m not kidding. (but that’s a long story for another day) It was too much. So I am taking a breather. Idk of you online date but it’s brutalllll out there.
You sound so lovely! By all means, take a break from dating. Do something about the Cap firstly. I can sense your disappointment, and it needs to be addressed before it turns to resentment. See if your relationship can be rescued. Do you love each other? Do you ever talk about the future? Is he willing to compromise, or expecting you to do all the compromising? What solutions is he coming with?click to expand
Lol! Why thank you dear 😌 hahaha I need to hibernate from dating!!! 😂
🤔These are all great questions. I did ask him what he wants from me and made it clear what I want and I’m not afraid to walk away when we talked again about this a few days ago...and he said he doesn’t want to lose what we have... so in short, he compromised and confirmed exclusiveness. So, it’s like a snail move of progress. I’m not trying to pressure anyone so I’m going to side eye it till I see progress...and PROOF.
I like him a lot but love? I need more time. After my last relationship, I want to take my time with that word.
The one thing I do admired about him is that he does listen to me and recognizes if he makes a mistake. He not only apologizes but actually puts forth action into changes behavior. Ahhh anyways thanks for listening hahaha
Leave him in the dust.
*** 3/22/2021 UPDATE****
So, I just logged back in and reread all the comments and decided well...I should give you all an update. You guys really helped me during some challenging times. In short I ended up walking away from him and told him that I want to be with someone that wants to be with me because this is hurting me at this point. I felt used. He showed that he was sad via txt then after that didn't hear much from him at all. He didn't ask how I was doing, didn't say happy holidays...nothing so I obviously cried during that time and moved on. Then suddenly a month later he decided to reach out to me and try to talk to me and take me on a date and wanted to see where things can go—— I was soooo confused. I already met someone so I told him sorry uh I cant help you...but I still made it less awkward so we could be on friendly terms. We actually hung out and it was ok but he was flirting with me and I was like no..He knew I was in a relationship and still tried me. I knew I had to scale back contact.
[the saga briefly continues]
A month later the person I was seeing just didn't work out( we only dated for 8 weeks)....a little while later I was feeling a little sad, lonely and missing him so I reached out to my previous Cap and he welcomed me back with open arms and we cleared the air and talked about our feelings. Its been almost a month now as of today - we have been seeing each other again 1-3 times a week but I notice he's slowly getting back to his old ways again of putting distance between us. I honestly have ZERO energy to even discuss to him anything dealing with us. Its like beating an old rug. At this point, I am just over this inconsistent behavior and have given up on putting any effort into this. I don't understand what this man wants from me as he acts like he wants me but at the same time not - its been a year knowing him, so I give up.
So, I just logged back in and reread all the comments and decided well...I should give you all an update. You guys really helped me during some challenging times. In short I ended up walking away from him and told him that I want to be with someone that wants to be with me because this is hurting me at this point. I felt used. He showed that he was sad via txt then after that didn't hear much from him at all. He didn't ask how I was doing, didn't say happy holidays...nothing so I obviously cried during that time and moved on. Then suddenly a month later he decided to reach out to me and try to talk to me and take me on a date and wanted to see where things can go—— I was soooo confused. I already met someone so I told him sorry uh I cant help you...but I still made it less awkward so we could be on friendly terms. We actually hung out and it was ok but he was flirting with me and I was like no..He knew I was in a relationship and still tried me. I knew I had to scale back contact.
[the saga briefly continues]
A month later the person I was seeing just didn't work out( we only dated for 8 weeks)....a little while later I was feeling a little sad, lonely and missing him so I reached out to my previous Cap and he welcomed me back with open arms and we cleared the air and talked about our feelings. Its been almost a month now as of today - we have been seeing each other again 1-3 times a week but I notice he's slowly getting back to his old ways again of putting distance between us. I honestly have ZERO energy to even discuss to him anything dealing with us. Its like beating an old rug. At this point, I am just over this inconsistent behavior and have given up on putting any effort into this. I don't understand what this man wants from me as he acts like he wants me but at the same time not - its been a year knowing him, so I give up.
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