Addiction - any insight

A good Aqua friend of mine has began progressively getting deeper into an addiction problem. Since I met them I knew about the drug issue. It wasn't as bad initially, but I could see it in the eyes. Of course, I never said anything because I didn't want to be nosey. We became pretty close, respectively. They keep an arms distance with people. Now...it's spiraling out of control. I had mentioned it once. They're about to graduate in December and they have their future ahead of them. I blatantly called them out once for acting out at work and others told me about it (drama queens). I confronted the issue, which was never responded to. I told them they have their whole future ahead of them and if they get fired from their current job that will affect their future, their career. I told them December isn't that far away, and I made sure to say that I wasn't telling them what to do but that someone has to say something because it's getting out of control. There is little to no self-control now. I've had 3 other Aqua friends who were into addiction...very deep. Cocaine for 2, heroin for 1. They eventually just knocked out of it themselves. This was when they were younger. They are 23-24 now (yeah it was a common issue with a lot of teens - near a city)

The Aqua I am speaking of here is about to be 28. It really worries me. Once they said they know the consequences of their actions...sometimes when we have discussions they talk about their self-esteem issues, feeling like a failure for being the last in his family to graduate and the parents call them an idiot. I told them it's not so. Then they looked in the mirror and just stared. I tried getting them away, but they were fixated. Then they snapped out of it, and said that they couldn't believe I let them look in the mirror that long and that they're self-conscious and don't like how they look. They immediately left saying they had to go, because they didn't want to think anymore. I feel this deep need to be there for them. I want to be more help than I am, but I do know in all reality nothing I do will truly do anything, because it is all on them to change themselves. There is a lot at work in the mind of this individual. I can sense the feeling of insecurities. I think the drugs are an escape. They're very emotionally closed off. They act so confident...it really does dishearten me to know how they truly feel about themselves. I remain constant with my support. I don't mention it most times...it's very difficult to watch someone destroy themselves. I just want to help, but when I gave my first piece of advice on focusing on the future the issue actually became worse. The intake increased. I don't know what to do besides support them. No one confronts them, so I do (but it's very rare as I don't want to make them completely irate). I know they hate the confrontation, because they don't want people to comment on their life, but I also know that it goes noticed and I kind of think it's even appreciate

I suppose I gave myself the answer, but it has been on my mind a lot lately. I do a lot of thinking. I constantly think about those around me and who mean a lot to me to the point where sometimes I think I forget about my own needs. I want to save everyone, but I know I can't. I see all of this pain, and theres nothing I can do to stop it besides support the ones suffering and staying by their side. it's very hard. I've always been terrible at comforting people anyways. I never know what to do when someone is crying. Granted the person here shows no tears, but all of the emotions are turned inward. I feel like they need a release. I just hope to God they knock out of it like my other friends did. 28 years old. They're so bright! They're just surrounded by the wrong people. They want to impress people who they shouldn't be. In fact, the people who they want to impress should be impressed by them! To even know them. I wish this person could accept what's in the mirror. There's nothing wrong with the way they look, and they are very intelligent. They pretend to be so hard, because that's the persona they want to have but I just don't think thats who they were meant to be. I have seen both sides.

You really are who your friends are. I know they were their childhood friends, but sometimes paths should split for one's own betterment. There are always new people to meet, always new things to see.

Ironically enough I think they may have a Sag ascendant. It is either that or Scorp. Two very different ones, I know. But the reason being for this is because of where the other planets lie. He's a bit of a gambler and an avid money-spender. He loves to make money, but loves to blow it. It holds no value. Putting him around the Scorp/Sag cusp of ascendant would mean his Mars/Neptune/Saturn/Uranus/Moon would all be in the second house. I wonder.

Yes, I personally am the same way AM. Saying no is easy for me. In fact, once he asked me to join him. My face must have contorted when I said no. I do have a bit of an attitude at times so I don't doubt it lol, because he then lashed back like I criticized his entire being. Outwardly he portrays the opposite of what is churning on the inside. When he hasn't had his fix for the day, he has bursts of anger. He believes no one understands him. I think when he is alone his mind focuses on self-pity instead of self-betterment. His eyes are so tired. It's very hard to standby, but when you comment he becomes defensive. Comments on his behavior almost make him indulge even more.

I will certainly confront him again. I have no issue telling him what I think about his behavior. When I do confront him, his eyes spark and he tells me he can't stand me. To be honest, I think he likes that someone is in fact noticing and commenting on his behavior, because the spark in his eyes looks amused/roused/content. According to our Libra friend, who has distanced himself from him, Aqua used to have a much softer character and was known as the nice one in the group (this was high school). Caring for everyone else,big-hearted. However, one of the ringleaders of this friend-group was seemingly toxic, indulging in berating women/talking down to them, gossiping, and then drug-use. By this point, the Libra detached from the group but remained friends with the Aquarius. From there, he said the Aquarius began to mirror behaviors, mannerisms of the others and here we are today. I've yet to meet these friends he has, but once they went into the Aqua's workplace, the Aqua made one of his younger female coworkers cry. The other coworker that was there had Vicodin for his back surgery and took one in the background, and the Aqua's friend started begging him to just have one of the pills. Insight on the background characters.

How friends can drown friends in their own toxic behaviors is beyond me. The Aqua values them so highly. They grew up together. I can imagine it will be very difficult to do, but I grew up detaching myself from friends constantly. No one stuck around long enough for me to feel whatever attachment he has to them. To me, it's easy. I will tell him regardless what I think of them. Misery loves company. They would drown the Aqua far before they let themselves drown, but the Aqua sees them as his best friends, his main support. I can tell. The only real support he is getting from them is toxic and self-destructive s

If he's still taking drugs at 28 then he obviously hasn't had enough so that it gives him some psychological trauma so he never touches it again, you should help him and mix his pills up

lmfao that sounds promising... wat.

he's just lost. he's smart enough to know the result of what he's doing. I have to encourage him to get there, not make him irate for interfering with his lifestyle.

I would rather confront him innovatively than act conniving and undermining. he takes a lot of things as attacks, and he never takes orders. I'm currently developing ideas on how to approach the situation in a way that opens his eyes without him feeling like he's under siege or being judged for what he does.

I know it's his choice and not many have a soft heart for addicts, but I grew up with them and do understand the difficulty it imposes. many go into it for their "friends", to be accepted, or in his case, maintain friendships with those whom he deemed important since he was a child. other people want to escape pain, even reality, but by doing so they destroy the whole purpose of life: overcoming obstacles in our paths individually to become stronger and develop.

he may seem like an idiot but he's not one. I appreciate him as a friend, and if I ever ended up (not likely) in a situation like this I would hope he would at least want to attempt the same for me.

He once told me never to get involved with drugs, because it's a destructive and toxic path and I have my whole life ahead of me (ironic huh). he wasn't aware that I knew about his own issue with drugs, but it's written in his eyes and occasional behavior. I've always remembered that event, because it's like he cares for all of his friends with much higher respect and care versus himself.