Aqua Ex ? (Page 2)

Posted by tiki33
Oh hush Candi...You gave her the dumb ass advice in the first place, she is just playing games given her approach, the letter itself wasn't the issue, it was her attitude that she was going to win him back despite being told point blank he was pursuing someone else...She wrote the stupid letter and now is ignoring him, HOW IMMATURE IS THAT, why not speak to the man after leaving him the dumb letter and this coming from a person who stated she wanted to be friends. She isn't moving on she is playing games.

How was Candib33 advice dumb? Can you elaborate a little bit more without bashing me?
The letter was not an issue and since then, yes, he has been texting me. Did you ever consider I needed to get my thoughts togther and maybe process his new relationship first before I said anything to him?
That is what I did, and on Sat. we had a heart to heart. He is in a relationship with another woman. He confessed to me they have not have had sex yet, they fight all the time, and he misses me. Beleive me I know what that is code for, and in my hearts of hearts I was celebrating because I WAS RIGHT!
However, I swallowed my pride and ego and I told him he needs to explore the relationship he is building with this other woman. That I support him in his desicion and respect him for it.
So you see, I am his friend.
I never had any intention of "winning him back". He has made his choice and I am respectful of that fact. He needs to grow as a man and as a person and if that means he nees to be with her, that is fine by me.
I am not immature as you state. I am an intellegent, strong, powerful and gorgoues woman, and if I need to take my time to think about and process recent events that happened to formulate a conclusive descion that affects my life-the SO BE IT!

Posted by exam
I don't get this whole thing. Let me try to understand this. So you said you love him and believed he loves you. You sent him a letter to confess your deep feeling, then you ignored him when he contacted you? Am I right so far? I think even you don't play game, your behaviour is contradicted. I understand that you're confused and hurt as he seems not to reciprocate the same feeling as you do but this is not good for yourself either. Are you sure you don't even want a closure? At least let him say what needs to be said before you avoid him like this? Are you trying to ignite his interest in you romantically or something by disappearing on him? What the point of sending him a letter full of (unconditional) love and then adding conditions into it? Don't you think your behaviour if not intentionally game playing then at least confusing? Again, are you sure that you love this man unconditionally like you claim before? That whatever he chooses , you still wants to be his friend and everything?
I'm also very curious as why you're so sure that he loves you even after he says he loves someone else? What behaviour of his gives you such thoughts?
Calm down and listen to the voice inside you , maybe you will see clearer what is going on instead of getting annoyed at what the guy is doing. Look at your actions first. Take care.

Yes, Exam, I said I love him and I KNOW he loves me to. I did send him a letter, but I did not confess my deep feelings to him. I sent him a letter to clear the air on some issues that were still lingering in our friendship. I had to think about my feelings so, yes, I did not speak to him when he sent me a text. However, on Sat we did talk.
My behavior is actually non of your or anyones business on this board. I came here, to not be bashed, belittled or put down by others who are obviously jealous of me.
When we spoke on Sat. he told me what he had to say. And I told him what I had to say. The air is clear, and if you read my post to the bitch NZAqua you will see that we are in fact, frineds. I support his new relationship and if you do not see it, well then you are an even bigger bitch than she is.
I have my "closure" of which you speak.
I love this man unconditionaly! Noone needs to question that, and there is only one judge, and that is GOD.
I am sure he loves me because I know. I do not need to justify it to you.
His behavior or

Posted by tiki33
exam you are partially right...He basically told her he couldn't do whatever it was they were doing anymore which was IMO a FWB relationship and told her "he think he's in love with someone else" so she held onto the part were he said he "THINK" and decided he must be lying and thus was advised through someone on DXP to spill her guts out in a letter and then after delivering the letter she proceeded to ignore his text messages. I mean who does that? The least she could do is talk to the guy via phone to ensure him she was serious and to contact her once he's available. Many of us suggested she take what he said at face value and move on yet instead she decided that he was lying about this other woman, put a letter on his doorstep after the fact and thus has been ignoring any of his efforts to speak to her directly. He's supposed to be her friend so the least she could do is treat him like a friend and give it a clean break. Had she not sent the letter I honestly don't think he would have talked to her again and maybe that was partially the motivating factor for doing what she did...dunno

Tiki-he was texting me and calling me even before the letter was sent. He was questioning his new relationship with this new woman and I also beleive looking for permission from me to be with her, which I gave to him, as his friend on Sat.
What will happen in the future, I am uncertain. I do know this. I am taking care of me now, and if he contacts me again, which I know he will. I will be open for his friendship and ready to support him and give him the advice he seeks.
You call yourself an Aquarius? I think you need to take a check of the other influences in your chart. You seem to have a bit of Sag in you as well (your sharp tounge for expample).
Lets all just get along. It seems you and Exam are now the ones playing the game.

Posted by tiki33
correction...they have history together, year apart, then had sex once and after sex proceeded to text only for her to find out shortly after he's in love with someone else.

I may have found out he is in a new relationship, but now answer me this. How come he had to sleep with me? Where was his new girlfriend? How come he wasn't texting or sleeping with her? How come he had to come back to me? Because its familiar, because he just wanted to play, because he is confused as to what he want? Because he may have feelings for me still?
Being a friend is unconditional love and support no matter what happens. Lack of trust, honesty, communication or betrayl may come between friends momentarily, however, I have proved whatever it is he was looking for, by being his friend.
Make sense? If it does not then answer my questions above. 🙂

Ok, it sounds too complicated. Glad you have your closure. I don't need you to justify or explain anything. It's your right to answer and my right to ask. After all, you came to the board for some clarifications, isn't that right? I don't see anywhere in my post insulted you. You talked about God so earnestly then you would have understood what I meant about looking deep inside yourself and seeing your contributions to this whole mess first , i.e. having a fwb someone while expecting more and then felt cheated by his "deceit". He's not perfect, sure but you're the one who was having too much "hope" that he might still love you and this woman is a figment of imagination. If that makes you feel better, then just think so. It's all fair in love and war, you hurt him before with your deceit, he gives you back. I think you should call it even and leave it at that. The more you're thinking how bad this guy is and how much you love him, the more angst you will have for your other future relationship. Take care and God bless you.

Posted by exam
Ok, it sounds too complicated. Glad you have your closure. I don't need you to justify or explain anything. It's your right to answer and my right to ask. After all, you came to the board for some clarifications, isn't that right? I don't see anywhere in my post insulted you. You talked about God so earnestly then you would have understood what I meant about looking deep inside yourself and seeing your contributions to this whole mess first , i.e. having a fwb someone while expecting more and then felt cheated by his "deceit". He's not perfect, sure but you're the one who was having too much "hope" that he might still love you and this woman is a figment of imagination. If that makes you feel better, then just think so. It's all fair in love and war, you hurt him before with your deceit, he gives you back. I think you should call it even and leave it at that. The more you're thinking how bad this guy is and how much you love him, the more angst you will have for your other future relationship. Take care and God bless you.

It is very complicated-I have been "putting up" with this man for 3 years.
I just feel let down that it has to come to insulting my character, my intellignece and my overall "whole" as a person for some people to get their point across. I know you only mean well, but it doesn't have to be brutally spoken, ya know? I did come here for clarification-and that is what I got. 🙂
I apologize for cutting you with my tounge if I did, that was not my intention. I am already bruised and hurt, so getting lashed on here is not helping.
I have had hope, it was a string I was trying to hold onto. Not anymore.
I am not "talking about how bad this guy is" he is a rather good guy. And he is a happy guy now. 🙂

Posted by firewaterearth

Posted by NikkiMse1978

Posted by tiki33
correction...they have history together, year apart, then had sex once and after sex proceeded to text only for her to find out shortly after he's in love with someone else.

I may have found out he is in a new relationship, but now answer me this. How come he had to sleep with me? Where was his new girlfriend? How come he wasn't texting or sleeping with her? How come he had to come back to me? Because its familiar, because he just wanted to play, because he is confused as to what he want? Because he may have feelings for me still?
Being a friend is unconditional love and support no matter what happens. Lack of trust, honesty, communication or betrayl may come between friends momentarily, however, I have proved whatever it is he was looking for, by being his friend.
Make sense? If it does not then answer my questions above. 🙂

If I had to hazard a guess his relationship with the new girlfriend is challenging him in a new way. He is not used to it, but it could be providing him the necessary tools to grow. I have feeling that he likes the familarity of being around you, but at the same time he may not feel as though he can emotionally grow with you in a relationship. You represent a training wheel and when he feels more confident about himself, then he will let you go. I do believe that he is fond of you, but not in a romantic sense. You do not want to be the "default/killing time woman", especially for an Aqua male. Even if he marries you, in the back of his mind he will resent you because he settled for what was convenient/familar and not for what he truly wanted. A resentful Aqua male will make your life a living hell.
You can do better.

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Fire-you are right!! His new relationship is challenging him. In the most positive way possible. 🙂 I do have to say I am happy for him. He may want to take the path he has traveled before, but I am not going to stand in his way. I am encouraging him to take the right hand turn now.
He needs to grow with her. I already see that. That is why I cannot be his "other" woman like he wants me to be. If I am anything I want to be the only woman. He told me he cannot give me what I want. That there is to much h

istory. That he knows I say he hurt me, but his heart still has fresh wounds when he tried that before. I beleive what he means is that when we tried to get back together.

@NikkiMse1978: I'm sorry too NikkiMse1978 if I in anyway hurts you with my words. I don't think I've intentionally insulted your personality and your intelligence. All I meant probably was you were confused and perhaps inconsistent with your thoughts. Like after you know he has a girl he loves, you still think that you can still be more than a friend to him and one day you and him might even get married. This intention is only revealed after the other pointed out for you while you just said that you wanted to be his friend only in the beginning if he has a girl already.However, I understand that it's a big blow not only to your feeling but your ego as he's supposed to be your good friend, so you keep wondering "what if" in the beginning. Not to mention your guilt towards him. Any way, I'm glad you're happy now and are able to let go all the past hurts. Now even if he's confused, you aren't anymore and you can help him towards the right path. I guess that's true friendship about 🙂

A BC is a booty call. Piece of ass. FWB. 🙂
I am in America so that is what we refer to it as. While we are getting definitions can you give me all the def on treetrunking and butter? 🙂
Thanks!

Posted by exam
@NikkiMse1978: I'm sorry too NikkiMse1978 if I in anyway hurts you with my words. I don't think I've intentionally insulted your personality and your intelligence. All I meant probably was you were confused and perhaps inconsistent with your thoughts. Like after you know he has a girl he loves, you still think that you can still be more than a friend to him and one day you and him might even get married. This intention is only revealed after the other pointed out for you while you just said that you wanted to be his friend only in the beginning if he has a girl already.However, I understand that it's a big blow not only to your feeling but your ego as he's supposed to be your good friend, so you keep wondering "what if" in the beginning. Not to mention your guilt towards him. Any way, I'm glad you're happy now and are able to let go all the past hurts. Now even if he's confused, you aren't anymore and you can help him towards the right path. I guess that's true friendship about 🙂

@Exam-you did not hurt me with your words, I was only hurting in my head. Bcus you are right. I am inconsistent in my feelings for him. I know I love him, but I do not want his love like this. Does that make sense? He actually sent me a text last night, after I told him I could not do this with him, knowing he has a gf. I have to much respect and dignity for myself and for her. He TRIED to get me to be his "other" woman, and I beleive he will still try. But I do not want him like that, nor should he want me like that. I told him this, and he said we have to much history. That he knows I think he hurt me, but his heart is still wounded from the last time he tried this. (Meaning the last time we tried to get back together) to which I ultimately betrayed him in the worst way possible.
I would love to be his friend, but not the side piece of meat type of friend he is looking for. He is growing, as have I and I am not going to stand in the way. It is not about him choosing me, since I know we are in fact soulmates. But since I do love him, I am letting him go. I am giving him the opportunity to grow and to learn, on his own.
My ego has been blown clear out of the water, which is funny, since I didnt think I even had one.

@Exam-I always wonder what if with this guy because we have been doing this for 3 years now. It doesn't seem to end. That is why I am taking a step back and leaving him and it alone. Thanks for all your heartfelt and thoughtful advice. 🙂

Posted by ellessque
OMG duncan is so clever 😄

treetrunking = jump-i-n-g
butter = b-u-t-t-e-r

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ forget that

treetunking is the "F" word
butter = the "SH" word

Didn't even know they had filters on here! LOL. No wonder why I was so confused. 🙂

and im very glad my dumb advice gave you some insight to help improve your situation. now all the possibilities ave cancelled out and some were validated! well done~!

Posted by candi3bb
and im very glad my dumb advice gave you some insight to help improve your situation. now all the possibilities ave cancelled out and some were validated! well done~!

Your advice/opinions were not dumb. You were just thinking on the same wavelength as I was....and you were so right! 🙂
Thank you very much! 🙂
Now email back on FB so I can give you the latest update...hehe

Posted by Starfish225
OH BOY!!! Never would I have handled thnings this way, the minute he told me he thought he was inlove with someone else that would have been enough for me rather he was telling me the truth or not. Bc again I already know whats for me is for me no other woman can take it away and it will come back to me. BUT I realize others can't handle things that way. So to each his own I guess. You live and you learn..

Thats just it Star- I left it alone. He kept on texting me everyday, even begged me to be his BC. I ignored him and he STILL texted me. I then responded to him. Which turned out kinda bad (since I found out he did have a gf) however, I have not talked to him since then. Until he text me last night. He asked me if I wanted to TALK. He has never asked that.
Need less to say, we did. 🙂
And he is not happy with her.
I am happy I handled things the way I did. Because I know who he is.
Thank you for giving me your advice. And I will continue to live and learn...each day is a new day for learning and soaking up knowledge of yesterday. 🙂 🙂

Posted by firewaterearth

Posted by NikkiMse1978

Posted by Starfish225
OH BOY!!! Never would I have handled thnings this way, the minute he told me he thought he was inlove with someone else that would have been enough for me rather he was telling me the truth or not. Bc again I already know whats for me is for me no other woman can take it away and it will come back to me. BUT I realize others can't handle things that way. So to each his own I guess. You live and you learn..

Thats just it Star- I left it alone. He kept on texting me everyday, even begged me to be his BC. I ignored him and he STILL texted me. I then responded to him. Which turned out kinda bad (since I found out he did have a gf) however, I have not talked to him since then. Until he text me last night. He asked me if I wanted to TALK. He has never asked that.
Need less to say, we did. 🙂
And he is not happy with her.
I am happy I handled things the way I did. Because I know who he is.
Thank you for giving me your advice. And I will continue to live and learn...each day is a new day for learning and soaking up knowledge of yesterday. 🙂 🙂

Good for you! You deserve way more than what he can give you.

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He has to be willing to give me his ALL-and I will except nothing less or short of that. 🙂 Until then, he wanted to be friends, he got FRIENDS! 🙂 🙂

So the drama continues with the ex Aqua. He is not respecting my space and is texting me to talk. I am trying to speak to him and watch my tone and what I say, but I do not know how many times I can repeat the same thing to him!
He says he knew we had to talk, again, but its the same SHIT all the time. And what's funny is, if I bring it up, he gets huffy but its OK FOR HIM TO KEEP BRINGING IT UP!
And what's more, this man is confusing me royally! I am detaching but he keeps contacting me, but when I do speak to him he tells me he cannot marry me, he can never walk the aisle with me. He wants to see how him and his new gf work out. I have HAD ENOUGH!
Can someone out there please HELP! I am at my wits end.

That is what I am doing, not for the time being. Forever.

nikki you just gotta do what is best for you..the other person, etc

our advice and opinions don't matter. one person is saying ignore .tiki is saying you playing games by doing so. just do what you gotta do. point blank.

Posted by candi3bb
nikki you just gotta do what is best for you..the other person, etc

our advice and opinions don't matter. one person is saying ignore .tiki is saying you playing games by doing so. just do what you gotta do. point blank.

That is what I utlimately decided to do. What was best for ME. 🙂

Im not going to say anything to him. He doesnt deserve it. He can, poof, disappear. News flash- so can I.

Its hard to let the Aqua ex go, when he keeps coming back!!! & then when you think things are cool...he says he cant do this nemore. Ughhh! The same vicious circle we have been in over & over again.

Fire-there is plenty of love in that obviously if he cannot let me go. All is well in love and war. 🙂 🙂