How to handle this situation...

First, prefacing this by blaming Pluto conjuncting my Sun. Making me face this issue despite not being in circumstances I'd like.

Situation: My father is an Aquarius Sun+Mercury, Gemini Moon, Pisces Venus and Cancer Mars. Jupiter and Saturn in Capricorn. (Conjunct my Sun) For these past few years he mostly can't help but critize my mom and myself over eating habits and other things. To the point where unless he has to go right away, he'll point out flaws that we had years ago when he last lived with us.

Since that wasn't the case for things in the present, we both didn't pay it any mind. It made me disappointed in how out of touch he was with me but didn't think it was worth bring up. He does love me, but now I honestly I dread talking to him or meeting him. Since that's all our relationship has become at this point. I used to let it slide, but now I'm close to just snapping at him and just going on a rant about the past and just pointing out his parenting flaws towards me. Then just go full Saturn and just say I'll only bother with him dude to family duty and not love. To hurt him.

Help me see alternates, this current desire disgusts me and insults my pride.

Posted by SirHorns
First, prefacing this by blaming Pluto conjuncting my Sun. Making me face this issue despite not being in circumstances I'd like.

Situation: My father is an Aquarius Sun+Mercury, Gemini Moon, Pisces Venus and Cancer Mars. Jupiter and Saturn in Capricorn. (Conjunct my Sun) For these past few years he mostly can't help but critize my mom and myself over eating habits and other things. To the point where unless he has to go right away, he'll point out flaws that we had years ago when he last lived with us.

Since that wasn't the case for things in the present, we both didn't pay it any mind. It made me disappointed in how out of touch he was with me but didn't think it was worth bring up. He does love me, but now I honestly I dread talking to him or meeting him. Since that's all our relationship has become at this point. I used to let it slide, but now I'm close to just snapping at him and just going on a rant about the past and just pointing out his parenting flaws towards me. Then just go full Saturn and just say I'll only bother with him dude to family duty and not love. To hurt him.

Help me see alternates, this current desire disgusts me and insults my pride.

Sirhorns, family is never perfect.

there's alot i never agree with my family but i Always keep quiet because i love them too much.

if i wanted perfection, then i would be alone and wouldn't have family.

i don't know how to help you with this. 😢

do you live with them? if that's the case, you're going to have to just deal.

until you move out. it's their rules. you can't change an old dog new tricks, but you can help tell him that you dislike it.

Pluto is conjunct my sun right now, too, and I'm being forced into stupid situations with the dilemma of either accepting them, or going off on someone. I end up doing a little of both.

Whatever you do, you have to grow psychologically and make peace with yourself and the situation. Is it really all about the present situation, or are current events just putting salt in an old childhood wound?

From CafeAstrology:
Sometimes, the relationship with the father or other important male figures come into focus. We face the need to be more independent, assertive, and autonomous. Perhaps most importantly, Pluto transiting our Sun puts us face to face with exactly what it is that has been holding us back from living life more fully and meaningfully.

From somewhere else:
EMPOWERMENT— this is the most important lesson that you will learn under the Pluto transit but it does not come immediately or easily. When Pluto made its retrograde square to my Sun, I realized that I had given my power away to a powerless person who could only criticize and find fault with everything that I did; I had given my power away to negative thinking, to absorbing the criticisms of others and to the tyranny of self-recrimination!
A friend gave me the —life saving?? definition of empowerment— —Empowerment is recognizing what you need to do for yourself and doing it even when others say that you are being selfish. Your first priority is to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! When a situation is bad, your first responsibility is to get yourself OUT, to remove yourself from any negative, hostile or contentious situation, whether this is a job, a relationship or an environment. You empower yourself by protecting yourself! I finally felt empowered when I developed an attitude— that I would not put up with any crap from anyone??_ no ifs, ands or buts! The journey from feeling over-whelmed to —not taking crap?? seemed like an eternity.

Posted by SirHorns
First, prefacing this by blaming Pluto conjuncting my Sun. Making me face this issue despite not being in circumstances I'd like.

Situation: My father is an Aquarius Sun+Mercury, Gemini Moon, Pisces Venus and Cancer Mars. Jupiter and Saturn in Capricorn. (Conjunct my Sun) For these past few years he mostly can't help but critize my mom and myself over eating habits and other things. To the point where unless he has to go right away, he'll point out flaws that we had years ago when he last lived with us.

Since that wasn't the case for things in the present, we both didn't pay it any mind. It made me disappointed in how out of touch he was with me but didn't think it was worth bring up. He does love me, but now I honestly I dread talking to him or meeting him. Since that's all our relationship has become at this point. I used to let it slide, but now I'm close to just snapping at him and just going on a rant about the past and just pointing out his parenting flaws towards me. Then just go full Saturn and just say I'll only bother with him dude to family duty and not love. To hurt him.

Help me see alternates, this current desire disgusts me and insults my pride.

I feel your pain my friend. Growing up with an aqua sun taurus moon mother was challenging, however I've learned to accept her flaws and realizes her childhood environment contributed to much of her criticism (from a gemini grandfather). With age (I don't recommend this) I've pointed out her flaws, ignored her and had a full blown shout match. But at the end of the day, she is my mom and I'm her daughter and I have to respect that.

He and I don't live together. His main power over me if the fact he is my father and the parent-child bond is deep. I had been avoiding going to visit family with him due to how our relationship is now. The burn bridges route seems like a slap in the face after all he's done for me since birth.

Being on my own and all that is easy. The hard part is not to just give him a Hannibal lecture and just stop caring if our relationship dies or not.

I hear this a lot and with friends (I do not know their signs) but what I told them is usually when a man gets grouchy and mean like that it's because he is deeply hurting inside. Maybe a heart to heart might help. I know it's extremely difficult for anyone to do this but it's what I would suggest. Putting away the pride for a minute and just trying. It might at the very least break the ice to bettering the relationship with him.

well if he mentioned about your eating habits to your mother and yourself years ago. how come you both haven't changed it? usually after awhile you just change it to please him. Unless he's just being mean on purpose even AFTER you change it.

are you just being rebellious??

i dont know what other criticisms he's telling you both. but usually criticisms stop when you actually do/what they ask.

like if you eat like a pig, and he's telling you to slow down.. chew your food right.

or is it habit of going into the fridge late at night?? and eating chips late at night?? before bedtime? is that it?

i dont think it's any of his concern if you want to sneak some chips in your room to eat. He's not watching you like a hawk is he??

my husband criticizes because he does have virgo. lol

but i tell him to go fuck himself. but i usually do what he asks.

lmao 😛

sorry. i'm so bad. 😢

Posted by lisabethur8
well if he mentioned about your eating habits to your mother and yourself years ago. how come you both haven't changed it? usually after awhile you just change it to please him. Unless he's just being mean on purpose even AFTER you change it.

are you just being rebellious??

i dont know what other criticisms he's telling you both. but usually criticisms stop when you actually do/what they ask.

like if you eat like a pig, and he's telling you to slow down.. chew your food right.

or is it habit of going into the fridge late at night?? and eating chips late at night?? before bedtime? is that it?

i dont think it's any of his concern if you want to sneak some chips in your room to eat. He's not watching you like a hawk is he??

Imagine being frozen in time at 14. Basically his harpying comes from stuff he remembers back then.
Which was why I didn't care at first but now since it seems like it's all he can talk about.,.my patience ran out.