I cant fully understand him

im a leo and we've been together almost two years although rocky at times we get along great and he's my best friend. My biggest issue with him is his laziness to EVERYTHING. from little things to important things. I'm also having trust issues on a particular subjects too.

When i met him his life was all over the place and he had no structure at all. He has said I have helped him mature and I see the maturity in him a bit now but my major issue is meeting his family. It took a year for me to meet his mom and that was all of 30min but i have not met his kids or siblings. when i bring it up it's ok we can do that but it never happens and it never is brought up again unless I bring it up. No major reason is given. (major trust issue for me) I feel like i'm hidden.

he has a million excuses about anything. One thing i absolutely hate is someone wasting my time by me waiting on them. We use to get in major fights about it so he change but only a LITTLE! it's not as often anymore but every once in awhile he's suppose to come over and i'll get the text excuses imma be late but im still coming to no call/no show. With me spazzing out and him given some off the wall excuse.

The way he handles his important matters is put it off until he has to deal with it. We're total opposites. I've been working since i was 15 and i am very resposible. him on the other hand he hates responsibility. So it's difficult for me to understand how he deal with important matters.

We're suppose to move in together in a month but at times with behavior lie this i accuse him of cheating and of course he denies it but every time i feel like maybe we should break up he's adamant we should stay together and he will do better. I'm at my wits end. I don't have major proof but his actions says otherwise.

All this aside I love him and I know he loves me. We get along and have a lot in common. Although, these issues are very important we dont argue that often. I feel calm with him for some reason but I also feel like he's hiding things. I'm not sure how to handle these things anymore.

Are you sure you want to live with someone who is irresponsible and has no follow through? Is this really someone you want for a life partner?

Posted by truecap
Are you sure you want to live with someone who is irresponsible and has no follow through? Is this really someone you want for a life partner?

I'm kind of a flaky Aqua, but if I say I'm going to be somewhere, I go. Therefore, I underscore the assumption that it's not a sign thing, but a lack of maturity thing an do you really want that in your life. FFS does he need a mommy or a partner and which one would you rather be?

Don't move in. That will definitely end it. Who's idea was it (whi brought it up first)?

Oooh

Now... you get to do his laundry and pick

up after him, too.

Please reference this thread when you want

to complain about it though-- because you

knew it, going in.

Js

Yeah....sorry, but this will likely not end well at all. In spite of having things in common and the unspoken great 'energy' you feel between the two of you the fact that your gut is telling you he's hiding stuff is absolutely not a good thing. Sounds like a lack of trust which is a pretty big deal for any relationship. So your energy will likely go towards questioning him and/or yourself constantly about if he's being honest. If he is lying, why would you be OK with the person who is supposed to have your back feeling comfortable lying to your face? To me that would be an ultimate form of disrespect regardless of 'energy' or common hobbies. You should be spending your time together in harmony and building a life together. If you are really that important to him he would want to change in the present (not the future) to keep you in his life, but it seems like you are literally dragging this guy through the mud to be more mature and responsible. I guess that's OK if you want the role of being his mother. I think you said it yourself when you mentioned his actions don't match up to what he's saying....he honestly should not even be putting himself in situations where you would need to question his commitment to the relationship. Unfortunately just another sign that you really should seriously reconsider moving in together and continue pursing this potentially toxic relationship. If it continues on it's current trajectory I think you will end up in a very unhappy and unfulfilling relationship. You deserve better than that.

Posted by FebAquaGal
Yeah....sorry, but this will likely not end well at all. In spite of having things in common and the unspoken great 'energy' you feel between the two of you the fact that your gut is telling you he's hiding stuff is absolutely not a good thing. Sounds like a lack of trust which is a pretty big deal for any relationship. So your energy will likely go towards questioning him and/or yourself constantly about if he's being honest. If he is lying, why would you be OK with the person who is supposed to have your back feeling comfortable lying to your face? To me that would be an ultimate form of disrespect regardless of 'energy' or common hobbies. You should be spending your time together in harmony and building a life together. If you are really that important to him he would want to change in the present (not the future) to keep you in his life, but it seems like you are literally dragging this guy through the mud to be more mature and responsible. I guess that's OK if you want the role of being his mother. I think you said it yourself when you mentioned his actions don't match up to what he's saying....he honestly should not even be putting himself in situations where you would need to question his commitment to the relationship. Unfortunately just another sign that you really should seriously reconsider moving in together and continue pursing this potentially toxic relationship. If it continues on it's current trajectory I think you will end up in a very unhappy and unfulfilling relationship. You deserve better than that.

thanks for being honest and being positive about this. Something I have to think about.

I was with an Aqua Sun/Aries Moon for a full year, then off-and-on for another full year. You pretty much described our situation (minus his emotional manipulation). We had the most fun together; we could laugh about anything, but when that died down, and the everyday items were left... it was bad. He was lazy and self-centered, and I was very responsible (at the time, I was pulling three part times jobs to pay for college). He would become very verbally abusive if I every challenged him on anything, but whenever I would try to break up or leave, he would absolutely fall to pieces and beg me to stay. And it worked, because I was young and foolish (and also, the verbal and emotional abuse had started to sink its roots into me). He also expected me to be the housekeep, and I kid you not, one night in bed as we were falling asleep just talking, he said to me, "I just really want you to become a famous writer, so I can ride your coattails." I'd also note here that he wasn't enrolled in college and worked 3rd shift at a pharmacy.

Not all Aqua men are like this; I've met some that are truly wonderful. However, anybody can be a bad apple, and the best thing I ever did for myself was finally leave the relationship I was in. I learned a lot about myself and my tolerance levels... so it was a good thing. But it was really, truly a bad situation, and if I were you, I would walk away too. Find somebody who actually wants to take care of you and shows it. Someone who actively tries to provide.

Posted by 000sillylion000
I was with an Aqua Sun/Aries Moon for a full year, then off-and-on for another full year. You pretty much described our situation (minus his emotional manipulation). We had the most fun together; we could laugh about anything, but when that died down, and the everyday items were left... it was bad. He was lazy and self-centered, and I was very responsible (at the time, I was pulling three part times jobs to pay for college). He would become very verbally abusive if I every challenged him on anything, but whenever I would try to break up or leave, he would absolutely fall to pieces and beg me to stay. And it worked, because I was young and foolish (and also, the verbal and emotional abuse had started to sink its roots into me). He also expected me to be the housekeep, and I kid you not, one night in bed as we were falling asleep just talking, he said to me, "I just really want you to become a famous writer, so I can ride your coattails." I'd also note here that he wasn't enrolled in college and worked 3rd shift at a pharmacy.

Not all Aqua men are like this; I've met some that are truly wonderful. However, anybody can be a bad apple, and the best thing I ever did for myself was finally leave the relationship I was in. I learned a lot about myself and my tolerance levels... so it was a good thing. But it was really, truly a bad situation, and if I were you, I would walk away too. Find somebody who actually wants to take care of you and shows it. Someone who actively tries to provide.

wow other than the abuse and cleaning after him it sounds like him. The laziness KILLS me and he does always make me seem like I overreact to everything that I am unhappy with him. He's an excellent manipulator I will say that. But thx for your advice it's gotten too much being with someone you have to remind to be an adult regularly.

Posted by Leogirl27

Posted by 000sillylion000
I was with an Aqua Sun/Aries Moon for a full year, then off-and-on for another full year. You pretty much described our situation (minus his emotional manipulation). We had the most fun together; we could laugh about anything, but when that died down, and the everyday items were left... it was bad. He was lazy and self-centered, and I was very responsible (at the time, I was pulling three part times jobs to pay for college). He would become very verbally abusive if I every challenged him on anything, but whenever I would try to break up or leave, he would absolutely fall to pieces and beg me to stay. And it worked, because I was young and foolish (and also, the verbal and emotional abuse had started to sink its roots into me). He also expected me to be the housekeep, and I kid you not, one night in bed as we were falling asleep just talking, he said to me, "I just really want you to become a famous writer, so I can ride your coattails." I'd also note here that he wasn't enrolled in college and worked 3rd shift at a pharmacy.

Not all Aqua men are like this; I've met some that are truly wonderful. However, anybody can be a bad apple, and the best thing I ever did for myself was finally leave the relationship I was in. I learned a lot about myself and my tolerance levels... so it was a good thing. But it was really, truly a bad situation, and if I were you, I would walk away too. Find somebody who actually wants to take care of you and shows it. Someone who actively tries to provide.

wow other than the abuse and cleaning after him it sounds like him. The laziness KILLS me and he does always make me seem like I overreact to everything that I am unhappy with him. He's an excellent manipulator I will say that. But thx for your advice it's gotten too much being with someone you have to remind to be an adult regularly.

click to expand

Oh my God, he would tell me I was overreacting constantly!!! And after awhile, that starts to sink in, you know? You start to listen and make allowances, because we Leo ladies are horribly devoted to our men, and what they say we value. But yeah, the worst thing in the world is having to be the adult in the relationship 24/7. It's got to be give and take. With us it never was. Also, if you do decide to end it... watch out for the tears and the "But I... I think I want to marry you. I think you're the one." I knew he didn't mean it, but he just could not stand the idea of me leaving him, even though by that point, we were both unhappy.

Oh I've head the marriage thing a million times trust me lol. He plays on my emotion so i understand what you mean. He's a mama's boy too makes it worse. as much as I love him, I lose more and more respect for him because I'm starting to look at him a child and i have to RESPECT the guy I am with. I actually had conversations with him about kids and telling him you cant discipline the dog why would we need a kid. AGH!!! I guess I am answering my own question smh damn

We are devoted and can be loyal to a fault (overstay) but we tire easily of man boys.. And you will faster if you move in together.

Posted by AriElla7
We are devoted and can be loyal to a fault (overstay) but we tire easily of man boys.. And you will faster if you move in together.

AGREED

Posted by Leogirl27
Oh I've head the marriage thing a million times trust me lol. He plays on my emotion so i understand what you mean. He's a mama's boy too makes it worse. as much as I love him, I lose more and more respect for him because I'm starting to look at him a child and i have to RESPECT the guy I am with. I actually had conversations with him about kids and telling him you cant discipline the dog why would we need a kid. AGH!!! I guess I am answering my own question smh damn

Yeah, you need a man who will step up to the plate. You're the Queen of the Zodiac... you need a king, or at the very least, a valiant knight.

I am with an Aqua who used to be one of those. He still is in some respects.

I can tell you that you will have many years of this, if it changes at all. Don't move in.

Posted by sultrykitty
I am with an Aqua who used to be one of those. He still is in some respects.

I can tell you that you will have many years of this, if it changes at all. Don't move in.

How did you deal with this??

Posted by Leogirl27

Posted by sultrykitty
I am with an Aqua who used to be one of those. He still is in some respects.

I can tell you that you will have many years of this, if it changes at all. Don't move in.

How did you deal with this??

click to expand

You don't. There's a lot of me saying "I won't do this for you but I will do that". If there's something he won't do that *needs* to be done, I do it. End of.

If it's something he should be doing himself, like laundry, it sits until he does it. I do my own.

He takes care if his things, I take care of mine. We take care of some things together and he now does do things around the house that I used to do but not consistently.

Life goes on, but these aspects of our relationship do get to me at times still.

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by Leogirl27

Posted by sultrykitty
I am with an Aqua who used to be one of those. He still is in some respects.

I can tell you that you will have many years of this, if it changes at all. Don't move in.

How did you deal with this??

You don't. There's a lot of me saying "I won't do this for you but I will do that". If there's something he won't do that *needs* to be done, I do it. End of.

If it's something he should be doing himself, like laundry, it sits until he does it. I do my own.

He takes care if his things, I take care of mine. We take care of some things together and he now does do things around the house that I used to do but not consistently.

Life goes on, but these aspects of our relationship do get to me at times still.

click to expand

Yeah that sounds like me in mine. I'll just do things to get it done. Not his laundry or things like that either but i learned to accept that with him but the getting MIA and the avoidance is too much

Posted by Leogirl27

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by Leogirl27

Posted by sultrykitty
I am with an Aqua who used to be one of those. He still is in some respects.

I can tell you that you will have many years of this, if it changes at all. Don't move in.

How did you deal with this??

You don't. There's a lot of me saying "I won't do this for you but I will do that". If there's something he won't do that *needs* to be done, I do it. End of.

If it's something he should be doing himself, like laundry, it sits until he does it. I do my own.

He takes care if his things, I take care of mine. We take care of some things together and he now does do things around the house that I used to do but not consistently.

Life goes on, but these aspects of our relationship do get to me at times still.

Yeah that sounds like me in mine. I'll just do things to get it done. Not his laundry or things like that either but i learned to accept that with him but the getting MIA and the avoidance is too much

click to expand

Yeah, that part doesn't happen anymore, but that stopped 2 years before we moved in together. Him moving in with me wasn't actually a decision of love but necessity (for him).

It was that behavior ( the flakiness and acting like he could do anything he wanted) that made me end it, actually. Obviously we got back together but he proved to me that he had changed.

Posted by 000sillylion000

Posted by Leogirl27
Oh I've head the marriage thing a million times trust me lol. He plays on my emotion so i understand what you mean. He's a mama's boy too makes it worse. as much as I love him, I lose more and more respect for him because I'm starting to look at him a child and i have to RESPECT the guy I am with. I actually had conversations with him about kids and telling him you cant discipline the dog why would we need a kid. AGH!!! I guess I am answering my own question smh damn

Yeah, you need a man who will step up to the plate. You're the Queen of the Zodiac... you need a king, or at the very least, a valiant knight.

click to expand

Get you a Sagittarius ..

Posted by arose32

Posted by 000sillylion000

Posted by Leogirl27
Oh I've head the marriage thing a million times trust me lol. He plays on my emotion so i understand what you mean. He's a mama's boy too makes it worse. as much as I love him, I lose more and more respect for him because I'm starting to look at him a child and i have to RESPECT the guy I am with. I actually had conversations with him about kids and telling him you cant discipline the dog why would we need a kid. AGH!!! I guess I am answering my own question smh damn

Yeah, you need a man who will step up to the plate. You're the Queen of the Zodiac... you need a king, or at the very least, a valiant knight.

Get you a Sagittarius ..

click to expand

lol you make it sound so easy

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by Leogirl27

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by Leogirl27

Posted by sultrykitty
I am with an Aqua who used to be one of those. He still is in some respects.

I can tell you that you will have many years of this, if it changes at all. Don't move in.

How did you deal with this??

You don't. There's a lot of me saying "I won't do this for you but I will do that". If there's something he won't do that *needs* to be done, I do it. End of.

If it's something he should be doing himself, like laundry, it sits until he does it. I do my own.

He takes care if his things, I take care of mine. We take care of some things together and he now does do things around the house that I used to do but not consistently.

Life goes on, but these aspects of our relationship do get to me at times still.

Yeah that sounds like me in mine. I'll just do things to get it done. Not his laundry or things like that either but i learned to accept that with him but the getting MIA and the avoidance is too much

Yeah, that part doesn't happen anymore, but that stopped 2 years before we moved in together. Him moving in with me wasn't actually a decision of love but necessity (for him).

It was that behavior ( the flakiness and acting like he could do anything he wanted) that made me end it, actually. Obviously we got back together but he proved to me that he had changed.

click to expand

damn he acts that way right now!!!! super flaky and does what he wants but ALWAYS have an issue when i do the same back. smh

I would really rethink things and decide if you're willing to live that way. I wasn't. He proved to me that I didn't have to and it worked out for the most part. As much as we love each other and we have a good life together, there's been a LOT of compromise, mostly on my part (he wouldn't agree) and I do sometimes wonder if I would've found a better match for me if we had stayed broken up.

You have the opportunity to make a different decision if that's where you are. I wouldn't waste it.

Posted by Leogirl27

Posted by arose32

Posted by 000sillylion000

Posted by Leogirl27
Oh I've head the marriage thing a million times trust me lol. He plays on my emotion so i understand what you mean. He's a mama's boy too makes it worse. as much as I love him, I lose more and more respect for him because I'm starting to look at him a child and i have to RESPECT the guy I am with. I actually had conversations with him about kids and telling him you cant discipline the dog why would we need a kid. AGH!!! I guess I am answering my own question smh damn

Yeah, you need a man who will step up to the plate. You're the Queen of the Zodiac... you need a king, or at the very least, a valiant knight.

Get you a Sagittarius ..

lol you make it sound so easy

click to expand

No seriously. Sag's are pretty much perfect for Leo's but you guys for some reason run from us lol..