Loosing Interest..

How do you loose trust or interest in a friend or partner? Or even respect? How do you react that?

do you cut them off out of your life? give them a chance to earn it back? Ignore it? etc...

One lie and you're doomed. I say that because I am extremely non-judgemental and appreciate ALL aspects in the human psyche and willingly listen to all of it. I like to embrace everything that is dark and light in life and therefore there is no need to lie to me as I won't point fingers.

What will happen is that I'll lose interest in you as a human.

I suppose One could make a case of me thus judging and pointing fingers at the lie but so be it. Things won't be the same and I will not attempt making them the same.

I lose interest when the person becomes boring, I dislike having an idle mind. I lose trust when I hear anything negative reciprocated to me from a third party revolving around said person. I lose respect when they are dishonest about who they are, I'll react my losing interest by slowly pulling away or i'll tell them if they mean that much I may even just stay out of contact for a few days. The trust part I act stubborn maybe rude and catty. And the respect part I just ignore them completely. Usually I'll ignore it maybe they might come back and have to prove they deserve that spot in my life otherwise if they fail they're getting cut loose again for good.

It's hard to admit, but it's always the same: when I'm really getting into someone, I need to feel that I'm giving 100% of myself and for me that includes making your live easier, picking your trash and changing the diapers (cause that's the just thing to do if I care for you)

But somehow that's interpreted as "this guy is stupid, I'll keep him close to do the dirty laundry". That person starts taking me for granted, making assumptions like I don't have a piece of mind, and showing clearly in front of everybody else that I'm just companionship, nothing special.

Then I dissapear.

That person gets crazy and starts screaming at me. why did you go?, we were such a good team! I miss you...

No. You just needed a nice guy that didn't say a word. You never were in my team. In my team there's 24H adoration, listening skills and more than words. But, since you won't understand that, I'll just stop showing any interest in you and gradually stop speaking. Adi?_s.

That way you forget and I forgive. You never meant nothing, after all.

Awww that happened to me once delta (extends hug).

Thanks LOP. Ultra hug! 🙂

I actually think it was necessary. It obligued me to make a hard decission.

Posted by Angeleyes17
How do you loose trust or interest in a friend or partner? Or even respect? How do you react that?

do you cut them off out of your life? give them a chance to earn it back? Ignore it? etc...

They would have to do something pretty horrible... What happened?

I usually keep my friends forever, and everyone screws up, I get it and don't hold grudges too long.

Depends on the situation, the offense committed & the history/bond with that particular person.

I'll lose interest & most likely cut you off completely w/o looking back if:
1. I've caught you in a lie (whether you admit to it and apologize or not)
2. You blatantly refuse to mentally stimulate me. If I tell you that communication is #1 in importance to me, I'd expect for you to read b/w the lines to figure out that lack of communication = loss of interest.
3. You're too rigid, stuck in your ways or narrow-minded... The kind of person that is ignorant & small-minded with conviction but doesn't even realize it. Ya can't ever get through to those kinds of people anyways, so I'll just drop em & keep it moving.
4. You stand me up or make a serious promise that you didn't keep. If you say you're gonna be here at 7 but then show up at 10 as if nothing happened, or if you promised to go somewhere with me but then stand me up, yeahNO I don't have time for people like you.

For me, whether or not you acknowledge, admit & own your mistake is the biggest factor in whether or not I just distance myself from you for a while until I'm good & damn ready to entertain you again VS. literally cutting you off cold turkey & never looking back.

To be fair lol I do actually tell the person why I'm cutting them off. I def. don't suffer in silence. When you've pissed me off, offended me or hurt me in some type of way, oh you're gonna hear about it!! But not b/c I want to guilt you. If I'm done with you, I really don't care how you'll feel about me or anything from that point forward. If anything, I get the last word b/c it's a subconscious kinda thing. Almost like I have this complex about feeling betrayed & simply walking away head down & with my tail between my legs. That would never be me. I'd tell you like it is & then keep it moving.

Even if I wanted to break down, cry my eyes out or react with rage, I'd never give you the pleasure of seeing me sweat. Ugh, people can't stand that about me LOL! They're like nooooo how dare you have the strength to walk away from a toxic or dishonest situation lolol

I get it. A lot of people walk around warning people of the consequences that'll come if they're lied to, but in the actual moment, they give in & don't reinforce their standards. They cry wolf a lot. The truth is that they only warn you b/c they're talking a bunch of big sh*****t & don't want you to know that according to their past, they will let you back in over & over again. So they've gotta act tough & pretend to be like a zero-tolerance person even if they'd be "ALL TOLERANCE" in the actual moment when they've been played with or hurt in some way.

Nope, not me. When we tell you that something is a deal breaker, it really IS a deal breaker, meaning --->Goodbye. Not only will I say goodbye but in the event that you try to guilt me for refusing to be treated like I don't deserve, I'll calmly remind you that we wouldn't even be saying our goodbyes if the deal breaker hadn't been committed in the 1st place.

There's a difference b/w hurting me on accident vs. making a conscious choice that you just 'hoped' I'd overlook or let slide. If you just flat out made a choice to hurt me (you're not mad bc you did it. You're mad b/c you got caught), then you are not an asset to my life. If that's the case, there's no need to ask me why I'm suddenly walking away. The answer to that should be self-explanatory.

People try to guilt me all the time for the side in me that will literally walk away & never turn back. They don't know whether to consider that ability as strength, courage, 100 pounds of fear, or bitterness. On 1 hand, they know that they can't technically expect for someone to forgive them all the time, but on the other hand, they're like ughhh but can you at least let ME slide this one time?! lol

1 time is already too many for me. I've been in many situations when me forgiving someone over & over led to them hurting me all over again due to the lack of consequences not giving them an incentive to straighten up. Learned that lesson the hard way. You've only got 1 time to scr****w me. I make it so that you won't be able to scr******w me twice, b/c I'll be long gone before you even had the chance to. Don't like it? Well, learn to take people seriously when they warn you that certain things would result in immediate termination lol

Play with fire if you want to, but don't be surprised when I just walk away vs. continuing to tango with you, beating you up about it forever or wasting my time trying to get you to change

you're welcome delta and wow I've never had that experience before. I always run away from decisions I think may hurt me or hurt someone else.

@ Delta, I've done this too...

Its not that someone did something specific...or didnt.

I just end friendships, and am over with it.

I lose interest real quickly when it comes to small talk at first I used to think it was cute and I would tolerate it which means I would just sit there and tune out and throw in the occasion "yep" an nod but now I realise Its pretty rude of me to prolong it so nowadays I just excuse myself and make myself unavailable to vapid people.

I lose respect for people who think its funny to try me and see what I'm made of when it comes to my patience or my fuse??_..I'm the nicest person in the world but it is easy for me to get lost in passionate and heated moments I have learnt to cover it up well??_.. but there are people who are close to me who know how to stir me up and when I lose composure and make an ass of myself it makes me really embarrassed and I would rather just wallow away in solitude and embarrassment and not have to deal with people

what makes me give up on people:
1. lie [ lose trust]
2. extreme behaviour: too homebody, too outgoing, too fanatic about anything[religion, dead persons, only one type of music/literature/films/etc]...this shows you are not a complex sophisticated person.[i lose interest and i become bored]. i'm ok with sb having a hobby/passion...but not an obsession
3. mean behaviour towards anything: people[especially children], anumals, objects[i lose admiration]
4. inconsistant, unreliable behaviour[i lose respect]
5. "double-faced" persons[i despise them]

how i behave?...i distance myself with no contact on my part. if that person comes to me, i am distant or even cold as ice[depending on the reason i have distanced for]...if they insist i ignore them, if they insist even more[only in case of an ex]i tell them more or less nicely to leave me alone because they are "a nobody" to me now and it was all a mistake[it happened only once with my ex aries].

wow so many requirements.....

with this many requirements, it's hard to even COMMIT.

Posted by lisabethur8
wow so many requirements.....

with this many requirements, it's hard to even COMMIT.

no....do the opposite of the above, and we'll be very committed in friendship, for a relationship we should also add stuff about intimacy

as kresrene said, there's a difference btw sth accidental and sth you do because this is how you are and there's nothing to do about it...

i'm sorry but that's wayyyyyy tooo many requirements. It's IDEALIZING for a human being that doesn't exist. Might as well be single for the rest of your life because people are always gonna disappoint you in small or big ways.

commitment is hard work and it isn't gonna be a bed of roses all through your years.

and i'm sure your poop stinks too, (metaphorically)

if you're looking for perfection, there's NONE. NONE. NONE NONE.

but yeah don't be cruel to children and animals...that's already a huge red flag for anyone. it doesn't even have to be romantic.

You get bad vibes from those types of people, because they have no respect for innocents.

anyway, no wonder Aquarius sign is the top three for Commitment PHOBICS. always having this looonnnng list of dos and don'ts.

sagittarius and virgo are similar in a way, one too choosy nitpicky (similar) and sagittarius (idealization of the perfect Mister Darcy -- Jane Austen is a Sag) lmao!!

Posted by lisabethur8
i'm sorry but that's wayyyyyy tooo many requirements. It's IDEALIZING for a human being that doesn't exist. Might as well be single for the rest of your life because people are always gonna disappoint you in small or big ways.

commitment is hard work and it isn't gonna be a bed of roses all through your years.

and i'm sure your poop stinks too, (metaphorically)

if you're looking for perfection, there's NONE. NONE. NONE NONE.

but yeah don't be cruel to children and animals...that's already a huge red flag for anyone. it doesn't even have to be romantic.

You get bad vibes from those types of people, because they have no respect for innocents.

anyway, no wonder Aquarius sign is the top three for Commitment PHOBICS. always having this looonnnng list of dos and don'ts.

sagittarius and virgo are similar in a way, one too choosy nitpicky (similar) and sagittarius (idealization of the perfect Mister Darcy -- Jane Austen is a Sag) lmao!!

i think you are trying to justify sth here...you know my opinion very well about this

what we are talking here about are TRAITS OF CHARACTER, not some BUMPS on the road of a relationship.

you took it the wrong way.

yeah but people make lists all the time, and it's NOTHING how they wanted it when they finally choose the one.

if you just allow yourself to fall in love with someone who is available, and they're good people,
all those things are simply ridiculous high standards.

you already know in your heart and mind that you won't choose an unreliable, flaky and cruel man.

BUT!!! you'll never know until you at least get INTO a relationship. All these pluses and minuses....it's all talk and no walk.



anyway.... i was daydreaming about Darcy!! and what if, ladies, you were Mrs. Darcy??
ohhhh the teas you'd have with your rich neighbors:

and all that food!!

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Exactly right, lisburth. Do not under any circumstance ever point out a deficiency in your Aqua. Because that will be turned into YOUR flaw and you will be cut off. I think Aquas rank up there with an inability to see themselves realistically. Its all: oh I'm not judgmental--bullshit because as soon as someone does the smallest thing that you PERCEIVE to go against whatever your morality dictates they are cut off; I'm open-minded: sure until someone challenges your hard core beliefs; I'm not possessive or jealous: can you be anymore wrong? Believe me a scorned Aqua can do some manipulative shit that would make a biggest psychopath envious. Mind fucks extroardinaires!

Don't believe me? Cut one off and then watch the mindfucks begin??_ lord have mercy! And then when you are called on your bullshit you pretend that you haven't done it like a little innocent rainbow hugging unicorn??_smh.

/rant

+1

😛 YUP. what she says.

anyway i was daydreaming of Pemberly...



to realise, all those riches are too much....

a nice little home will do.

^____^

lisa, my darling...

unlike you, i have never fancied about mr. Darcy...my cancer man is just great.

you have to accept the fact that some women are Cleopatra/victoria beckham/kate middleton type , while others are Jane Austen/hillary clinton/lady di type. it's not about a LIST, it's about VALUES...

but when you settle for the best you can do, is hard to understand settling for the best you deserve

Posted by mz
lisa, my darling...

unlike you, i have never fancied about mr. Darcy...my cancer man is just great.

you have to accept the fact that some women are Cleopatra/victoria beckham/kate middleton type , while others are Jane Austen/hillary clinton/lady di type. it's not about a LIST, it's about VALUES...

but when you settle for the best you can do, is hard to understand settling for the best you deserve

that's actually an awesome way to look at different types of women, mz 🙂

although Cleopatra is cruel and poisoned her men, so meh, not a good woman.

and poor Jane Austen never got with her man. and poor lady di. Hilary...i believe she's getting everything she's ever wanted. So has Kate Middleton and Victoria Beckham.

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Lady Di was not a poor little ole me. She had numerous affairs while she was married. Charles had one woman. Okay not good but Lady Di was actually known as quite the Ho in some circles. Don't believe everything you read in the Rag Mags.

How do I know this? I have sources deep in the Royal circle--true story.

seriously?

yeah but it was a loveless marriage. he never loved her. he loved someone else, and it was all arranged. it's not as black and white as one would say. I'm not condoning what she did, or has done, but it's not something we can judge. she was a good mother, at least, and caring and nurturing. And i noticed she was extremely loved by the masses.

if Charles ever loved her, he loved her only for her being the mother of his children, and even then, that's not enough. He preferred being with his mistress.

believe me, i know real life marriages like this..... and they're not royalty.
lots of men go to their mistresses. the woman doesn't turn a blind eye, it's just that she doesn't want to let go or be alone. She is lost without him. If she can't have him fully, at least she is married to him legally and still lives with her part time.

cleopatra didn't poison her men.

jane austen...never been very fond of victorian family style ...to hypocritical for my taste.

lady di...poor——!!!!!!!!! no way...she knew what camilla and charles shared...she just stupidly hoped things would turn in her favour. she got into this without being the cleopatra type

hillary... a public scandle about her husband's cheating...sorryyyyy...what's that marriage about, actually? HE SLEPT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN FOR GOD'S SAKE. PERIOD.

anyway, this is not the topic of the thread, so...we'd better stop here, don't you think?

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Charles was forced to marry Lady Di because she was a virgin. She was 19 yrs old when they met and were betrothed. Charles wanted to marry Camilla but it was his duty to marry a virgin because that's how it works. Although I wouldn't doubt if that has to change. I'm pretty sure Kate was a virgin as well so she would pass if the crown gets handed down to her husband.

ehhhh i dont know about Kate Middleton....

http://www.celebdirtylaundry.com/2013/kate-middleton-ex-boyfriend-wedding-rupert-finch-prince-william-0602/


Kate Middleton Wants To Attend Ex-Boyfriend??s Wedding But Prince William Says —No Way!??

Posted by mz
cleopatra didn't poison her men.

jane austen...never been very fond of victorian family style ...to hypocritical for my taste.

lady di...poor——!!!!!!!!! no way...she knew what camilla and charles shared...she just stupidly hoped things would turn in her favour. she got into this without being the cleopatra type

hillary... a public scandle about her husband's cheating...sorryyyyy...what's that marriage about, actually? HE SLEPT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN FOR GOD'S SAKE. PERIOD.

anyway, this is not the topic of the thread, so...we'd better stop here, don't you think?

awww leave Bill Clinton alone. 😛

blame Monica Lewinsky!! the she-devil.

he did not have "sexual relations" with that woman.

and yes, from what i read of cleopatra, she did poison her men and women!!

Posted by IrresistableScorp
I believe Jane Austen fell in love with a man who then ended up marrying someone else and chose to live a single life after that. Her problem was that she was an independent woman with financial means of her own during a time when women were meant to be subservient. She found the one man who loved her in spite of this, but he was "promised" to someone else and for the sake of not bringing his family into disrepute he chose duty. Bloody bastard. 🙂

i saw that film based on her real life story.

Anne Hathaway played her 😛

that man wasn't courageous enough to say screw you!!! i'm marrying jane!!

and if his family dumped him for it, she'd help support him for awhile....but i wonder...would she end up resenting him?

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by mz
cleopatra didn't poison her men.

jane austen...never been very fond of victorian family style ...to hypocritical for my taste.

lady di...poor——!!!!!!!!! no way...she knew what camilla and charles shared...she just stupidly hoped things would turn in her favour. she got into this without being the cleopatra type

hillary... a public scandle about her husband's cheating...sorryyyyy...what's that marriage about, actually? HE SLEPT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN FOR GOD'S SAKE. PERIOD.

anyway, this is not the topic of the thread, so...we'd better stop here, don't you think?

awww leave Bill Clinton alone. 😛

blame Monica Lewinsky!! the she-devil.

he did not have "sexual relations" with that woman.

and yes, from what i read of cleopatra, she did poison her men and women!!

click to expand

no, cleopatra DIDN'T poison HER men.

oh...poor bill clinton....such an innocent man....raped by the manipulative monica...

i have no understanding for cheaters...i thought it so self-understood that i didn't even added on my list 🙂

NICE TALKING TO YOU LADIES...BUT I'LL STOP HERE

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by mz
cleopatra didn't poison her men.
jane austen...never been very fond of victorian family style ...to hypocritical for my taste.
lady di...poor——!!!!!!!!! no way...she knew what camilla and charles shared...she just stupidly hoped things would turn in her favour. she got into this without being the cleopatra type
hillary... a public scandle about her husband's cheating...sorryyyyy...what's that marriage about, actually? HE SLEPT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN FOR GOD'S SAKE. PERIOD.
anyway, this is not the topic of the thread, so...we'd better stop here, don't you think?

awww leave Bill Clinton alone. 😛
blame Monica Lewinsky!! the she-devil.
he did not have "sexual relations" with that woman.
and yes, from what i read of cleopatra, she did poison her men and women!!

Hilary is just being a typical Scorp and hooking onto the POWA (or creating the power) of Bill. She probably could care less about his affairs as long as she gets to cling to his coattails??_ Then again, she is getting older and maybe might actually want happiness. I am sure power gets old after awhile...

click to expand

yeah i presume it does... after a while you're just...meh, but hey power is always good till the last dying breath 😆

Posted by mz

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by mz
cleopatra didn't poison her men.
jane austen...never been very fond of victorian family style ...to hypocritical for my taste.
lady di...poor——!!!!!!!!! no way...she knew what camilla and charles shared...she just stupidly hoped things would turn in her favour. she got into this without being the cleopatra type
hillary... a public scandle about her husband's cheating...sorryyyyy...what's that marriage about, actually? HE SLEPT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN FOR GOD'S SAKE. PERIOD.
anyway, this is not the topic of the thread, so...we'd better stop here, don't you think?

awww leave Bill Clinton alone. 😛
blame Monica Lewinsky!! the she-devil.
he did not have "sexual relations" with that woman.
and yes, from what i read of cleopatra, she did poison her men and women!!

no, cleopatra DIDN'T poison HER men.
oh...poor bill clinton....such an innocent man....raped by the manipulative monica...
i have no understanding for cheaters...i thought it so self-understood that i didn't even added on my list 🙂
NICE TALKING TO YOU LADIES...BUT I'LL STOP HERE

click to expand

oooohhhh tricky tricky.... 😛 well, in that case, Mark Anthony and Caesar weren't privileged for that scene. As for Bill, he hasn't done it anymore has he? Or maybe he's secretly running off with some woman on the side still.

I'm a loyal friend and would never cut someone off unless I truly believed that they were a bad influence in my life and they were beyond hope. I've never been cheated on but would cut any man off in a heartbeat if they cheated on me