Love lost. Can you fall back in love?

Once you have fallen out of love with someone is it possible to get those feelings back?
If so what does it take?

Also how do you act when you have fallen out of love?

If One is still maintaining frequent daily contact, accidentally slipping and using pet names and giving off a definite vibe that feelings are not as detached as one claims, is the "not in love" thing an act to save face and protect that famous aqua ego or a legit state of mind?

Posted by CancerLeoDynamite
Once you have fallen out of love with someone is it possible to get those feelings back?
If so what does it take?

Also how do you act when you have fallen out of love?

If One is still maintaining frequent daily contact, accidentally slipping and using pet names and giving off a definite vibe that feelings are not as detached as one claims, is the "not in love" thing an act to save face and protect that famous aqua ego or a legit state of mind?

CLD, is this about your catfish overweight aqua living in the basement?

you really need to let him go.

it sounds as if he has a STRONG impression on you than your ex scorpio. I never see you going around posting about him as much as you do this phenomena of this chubby superficial aqua who likes skinny women.

I also would like to know. My ex is driving me nuts.

I'm actually mostly in a place of "screw u, I'm done" but then I start missing him

I think they can. My Aqua ex appears to 🙂. Came back to me after almost one year, and tries to woe me with love declarations, apologies, promises and with his new (professional) achievements.

My gut feeling is that my newly acquired unavailability (got a Gem bf) makes him jealous or at least very competitive!

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by CancerLeoDynamite
Once you have fallen out of love with someone is it possible to get those feelings back?
If so what does it take?

Also how do you act when you have fallen out of love?

If One is still maintaining frequent daily contact, accidentally slipping and using pet names and giving off a definite vibe that feelings are not as detached as one claims, is the "not in love" thing an act to save face and protect that famous aqua ego or a legit state of mind?

CLD, is this about your catfish overweight aqua living in the basement?

you really need to let him go.

it sounds as if he has a STRONG impression on you than your ex scorpio. I never see you going around posting about him as much as you do this phenomena of this chubby superficial aqua who likes skinny women.

click to expand

It was just a general question, I am curious what aquas think about this.
I have my own opinion and thoughts on this and have already made me decisions and seen my results

I am curious what OTHER peoples ideas about this sort of thing are, and whether or not they would match up with my own opinions, and things that have already happened out of curiosity.
I"m not asking advice and didn't phrase it that way at all.
TBH your reply is kind of offensive to me.

As for my aqua, he absolutely has no interest in skinny women and in fact says awful things about them which I'm not even going to repeat because I do not like to perpetuate hate towards womens physical appearance.
Suffice it to say, that you're dead wrong.

Posted by feby
I had to go back
In your history and see what you've posted about....I realized I was in 2012? Is this the same aqua from 2012?

TBH I'm just curious in general.

I have already made certain decisions regarding this guy, (who yes, is the same one from 2012)
I took an extended break from him for a while and when it came right down to it I didn't want to just throw him out of my life, and he was making it very clear he was still interested.
I broke up with him because of how I thought he felt about me, not because of how I felt about him but he continued to show a lot of effort to be in my life, and deal with my particular brand if crazy.

The decision has already been made, and i wasnt asking for advise or permission, I was merely curious what other people would think in a more general sense, of that kind of situation.

Posted by maranoid
I also would like to know. My ex is driving me nuts.

I'm actually mostly in a place of "screw u, I'm done" but then I start missing him

Yah I was in that place for a while, but eventually missing him won out. TBH I am more detached than I was before but we'll see.

If he's the one initiating the contact I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that he never stopped loving you.

Posted by CancerLeoDynamite

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by CancerLeoDynamite
Once you have fallen out of love with someone is it possible to get those feelings back?
If so what does it take?
Also how do you act when you have fallen out of love?
If One is still maintaining frequent daily contact, accidentally slipping and using pet names and giving off a definite vibe that feelings are not as detached as one claims, is the "not in love" thing an act to save face and protect that famous aqua ego or a legit state of mind?

CLD, is this about your catfish overweight aqua living in the basement?
you really need to let him go.
it sounds as if he has a STRONG impression on you than your ex scorpio. I never see you going around posting about him as much as you do this phenomena of this chubby superficial aqua who likes skinny women.

It was just a general question, I am curious what aquas think about this.
I have my own opinion and thoughts on this and have already made me decisions and seen my results
I am curious what OTHER peoples ideas about this sort of thing are, and whether or not they would match up with my own opinions, and things that have already happened out of curiosity.
I"m not asking advice and didn't phrase it that way at all.
TBH your reply is kind of offensive to me.
As for my aqua, he absolutely has no interest in skinny women and in fact says awful things about them which I'm not even going to repeat because I do not like to perpetuate hate towards womens physical appearance.
Suffice it to say, that you're dead wrong.

click to expand

then why did you post in the other thread that i participated that you left him because you knew he didn't love you and that you complained he was ragging on the weight thing? I don't know what to say anymore because you are going back to this guy and i don't know what kind of "hold" he has on you, when you already stated you know he doesn't love you. it's as if you're torturing yourself and not moving on.

He didn't rag on my weight, I asked him outright if he was still attracted to me and he said not as much as before and I asked outright if it was my weight and he admitted that was part of it but that certain things to do with my attitude were a larger part of it.

After several pretty big fights he started acting really distant and I got the distinct feeling he wasn't 'in love' with me any more. I took a NC break to see if he would either figure out he loved me, or figure out he did not.
He asked me repeatedly not to do the NC break for 2 months, but I insisted. I wanted him to either a) miss me and realize how much he loves me or b) realize he doesn't want to be with me.
It ended up being neither which was confusing.
I asked him outright if he was still in love with me and he admitted that he loved me, but was not IN love with me.
He was happy not to have any dumb fights any more while we weren't talking, but he still wanted to be with me, which I thought was ridiculous.
Why do you want to be with someone youre not in love with?
So I broke up with him.
However
He continued to stay in my life, continued to message me and phone me every single day, He would accidentally still call me all the pet names he ever called me. He told me he missed me, he asked to see me several times.

I love him.
I always have.
He obviously loves me.

Is he IN love with me?
No I suppose not.
But I think I can change that.
I need to earn back his trust.
Not have drama
etc

and if not, if im wrong? whats the harm? I wasted a few more months of my life.
It's not as though he sleeps with other women, or abuses me in any way.

I invested too much into this relationship to walk away without trying to make it work.
When a man is committed to you, to trying to make it work, when he says he WANTS to be in love with me, why should I give up on that?

Yes I want true love.
Ultimately, I will not settle for less
But we were deeply in love for over a year.
I refuse to believe a few nasty words in a few nasty fights can kill that for ever.

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
If he's the one initiating the contact I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that he never stopped loving you.

Oh I agree and he even says he loves me frequently.
BUT
he says he is not IN love with me.

I will not continue working on this relationship indefinitely. If I cannot get us back to a place of being IN love then eventually I will have to cut him out of my life entirely, and "move on"
But I'm not prepared to do that yet.
Not when he is still making it clear he WANTS us to work.

Posted by feby
Ok I was just curious as well...it's your decision yes and your life yes. I just know that some men (and women) string people along. Someone here was just talking about back burner relationships. It's good though..
To answer your question, once I've fallen out of love it's very difficult or even impossible to get it back. I've never tried because tbh the reasons to make me fall out of love have to be huge.

I would hate to be a back burner relationship :/
I would never want to do that to another woman, or have it done to me.

I have no doubt whatsoever that I am the ONLY woman in his life. I know he WANTS us to work, I just don't know if we can.
I still want to try because I love him and I have invested a lot of time and energy into this relationship.

ok....um WANTS to be in love with you??

do you even hear yourself or read yourself typing?

he ain't in love with you, and forcing himself to want is RED FLAGS all over the place.

honestly he sounds like a LONELY guy who sees in you a POTENTIAL.

Loneliness can do that to a man or anyone.

They don't even take care of themselves FIRST.

it also sounds like you're trying to save him.

or you're on a REBOUND from your ex scorpio.

Do you see and know all those celebrities that get into relationships after a REBOUND from their ex's??

it never lasts either.

he isn't "forcing himself to want" he DOES want.
He wants to be In love the way we were when we were still infatuated, and new.
He WANTS us to work.
He loves me and says so frequently.

I don't understand you, In Private inbox 9 months ago or whatever you go on and on about how I shouldn't walk away from this guy, and so what if he's fat and so what if he lied about it these are insignificant problems and now you're acting like I'm pathetic for not walking away from this man I have been in a serious monogamous relationship with for the last 18 months and serious emotional investment for over 2 years!

It's incredibly hurtful confusing and offensive to me that you can just change your tune so suddenly and vehemently without just cause.
Stop it.

I couldn't get over the fact that he lied to me about his physical appearance and income status despite you telling me it was insignificant. It didn't feel that way to me and I said some really nasty things to him during arguments about it.

Surprisingly enough neither of us were getting the same warm fuzzies as we used to during those arguments.

It happens.
It's not unfix-able.
and I am FAR from pathetic for staying to work on a relationship with someone *I love* who *loves me* just because it isn't as easy as it was during the infatuation stage.

I think walking away from someone who loves you, the moment it gets tough is pathetic.

whatever i said in private inbox should stay there. And you know as well as I do that i don't know the ENTIRE story. so, here you are pouring it all out.

I'm only going by the limited amount you tell me. How would i know?
of course weight shouldn't be an issue. It's pretty shallow if you ask me if weight has to be an issue. That's not a man or woman you'd want to be with or around if weight is going to be a hindrance.

this is why it's terrible too to get "Involved" in other people's love affairs.

you get communication and lack of knowledge of the entire thing. I don't know what to say to you anymore because if you really really want him that bad, and he wants you just as bad. No one is going to stop you.

both of you are willing, so go ahead. We'll see.... if this turns out in the end fantastic then boo-hoo on any of us right?

No I am not trying to save him, I am far too busy for that nonsense and that is not my style .
You're not basing any of these assumptions on reality, they are common stereotypes that women often fall into. I'm not above falling into a few of them here and there but the wanting to save some guy shit isn't one of them.

I am fairly narcissistic and the idea of taking care of some man-child is absolutely repugnant to me.
He has been taking care of himself, and his other family members for years without my help.

Scorpio was over 3+ years ago.
This is NOT a rebound.
I had PLENTY of opportunities for rebounds, plenty of dates in between Scorpio and this guy, with men I flat out rejected and felt nothing for.

For that matter so has he.

this guy has options. attractive women (and a few men - not so attractive :p lol) have hit on him right in front of my face. His ex (really beautiful) still occasionally attempts to call and or bug him by fucking his cousin . (Which he ignores)

I am HARDLY his only option but I am the only one he wants.
Period.

allright, CLD. 🙂

good luck. You sound very determined and so does he.

if it works out, it works out! both of you two stubborn headed, so there's nothing any of us are gonna say that's gonna change your mind.

Thanks Lisabethur8 🙂

I didn't really read the whole context of this thread but in answer to your question, I would NEVER EVER EVER fall back in love with someone. Once I've made up my mind (and it takes me ALOT to give up one someone) that I am giving up on the relationship, nothing they could say or do would ever change my mind. When I come to the realisation I instantly detach and am slightly disgusted by the person haha. In terms of wondering why I was even with them etc etc.

Also, I still tell my ex I love him, I never say I'm in love with him, but I feel it would be cruel for me not to say it when he says how much he misses me as he is a great guy (and a Cancer sun!).

Posted by cultstatus
I didn't really read the whole context of this thread but in answer to your question, I would NEVER EVER EVER fall back in love with someone. Once I've made up my mind (and it takes me ALOT to give up one someone) that I am giving up on the relationship, nothing they could say or do would ever change my mind. When I come to the realisation I instantly detach and am slightly disgusted by the person haha. In terms of wondering why I was even with them etc etc.

Also, I still tell my ex I love him, I never say I'm in love with him, but I feel it would be cruel for me not to say it when he says how much he misses me as he is a great guy (and a Cancer sun!).

So when you personally are not in love that's it, you're outta there. The relationship is over. yah?

I am in a relationship with an aqua, though hes "not sure" if he is "In love" with me, after we had a bunch of drama over a period of time
It was a combination of things.
I started birth control, sudden eviction when my elderly landlords needed a live-in nurse and lost job (because of the move) all within a few months.

More importantly, he basically, well he DID catfish me.
I was very resentful but I was also madly head over heels in love with him as a PERSON, his humour, our shared interests all the 'real' stuff.
But I couldnt really get over it, and I was highly stressed about the other stuff falling apart around me.

Long story short I turned into a mega bitch, gained weight and took an extended NC break from our relationship for several months - sooo I mean it's not really surprising that he's not feeling warm and fuzzy. He is not wanting to break up though like not at all, he WANTS to feel about me the way he used to.

I'm not entirely sure that's possible and I'm not waiting around indefinitely but I love him to pieces and if he wants us to work I owe it to us to give this my best shot.

I did break up with him initially, I was like ok well if you're not in love with me buh-bye, but he didn't want to go No-Contact again and neither did I.

He didn't want to break up, he continued phoning me every day, would slip and call me pet names and I missed him a LOT, I mean I broke up with him because it's what I thought he was hinting at, what I thought he wanted me to do, isn't that normally what "I love you but I'm not IN love with you means"?

Certainly not the signals

Continued;

Certainly not the signals he was sending, nor what he was directly telling me though.

I'm not doing this indefinitely.
I can't
and if I have to end it again it will have to be NC.
I'm too emotionally attached to "be friends"

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I'm going to stick my big nose in here.....and I'm not even sure why aside from the fact I remember your catfish story and just noticed you are a cancer woman with a leo moon....like cluelesscancer.

Have you been following along with her posts at all? No disrespect (to her or you) but there are some parallels.

Are you settling? Or trying desperately to do so just so you can get kids and marriage out of the way? I'm not being offensive, I'm just curious....because you seem to be doing yourself a disservice by hanging on to a man who is only halfway vested who started your relationship on a bed of lies and fantasy.

Take a step back and look at this objectively.....move forward pushing him in the slot you want him in and you might be setting yourself up for years of miserly experiences.....all for the sake of being 'taken'.

Investment is not the issue.
He is more invested than I've been. I am the one asking for breaks, and the one who broke up with him and he was definitely not down with it but he respected my wishes.

The catfish thing was a dick move on his behalf and I know it. I was upset for a long time about it, but the truth is I don't give a fuck if he's fat and doesn't have a lot of money.

My issue was that he lied.
It's a valid issue, and I have struggled to decide if it is forgivable or not.

I can understand being embarrassed about those things. Wanting to make someone like you for YOU and not what you look like or how much money you make.
I get that.
I have decided it is in fact forgivable.
In fact I have already forgiven him, but it took time. And it got brought up during fights in a nasty way multiple times before I did.

No I'm not settling, I adore this guy for who this guy is. For his absolutely brilliant mind. For his patience. For how incredible it feels tucked into the crook of his arm when we sleep.

I'm divorced and already have a child, marriage and kids is not something on my mind, at all. I want a best friend and lover and that's what he is.

I was single for SEVEN years before meeting this guy because I refused to settle. I had many suitors and NONE of them made me feel the way my Aqua does. None of them were compatible emotionally, or in terms of life goals etc, the way me and my Aqua are.

This isn't something you just let fall apart because it got a little real.

Yeah I'm not sure as there are other influences in a person's chart but from my personal experience I stay in relationships longer than I should because I 'want' to continue to love that person but eventually shit will continue to go downhill and I will just snap, leave and never look back.

I'm pretty sure my ex had the same placements as you too. Leo moon and Aqua rising.

By the sounds of things, you could do way better. The relationship has run it's course but you are trying to justify beating a dead horse aka the relationship in the hopes that it will get to a place that it possibly never has even reached??_.

Correction: his moon was in Aries

my Aquas moon is in Leo, hes a pretty emotional guy but hes got an ego, and pride.

You might be right but it's hard to see that, not when he's calling me multiple times a day, sharing inside jokes, going out of his way to make me smile, talking about our future, growing old together etc.

I'm really not so certain I can "do way better".
I'm not certain that Disney Princess romance is a legit thing we should be striving for.

Well it sounds like you've resigned yourself to the fact that you'll be staying with him regardless.

Posted by cultstatus
Well it sounds like you've resigned yourself to the fact that you'll be staying with him regardless.

Nope not at all. I'm not spending my life with someone who isn't IN love with me, or isn;t sure about it, or whatever but neither am I gonna walk away from something I believe has the potential to be fixed. If we aren't any closer in a few months I'm walking for good.

Posted by CancerLeoDynamite

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I'm going to stick my big nose in here.....and I'm not even sure why aside from the fact I remember your catfish story and just noticed you are a cancer woman with a leo moon....like cluelesscancer.
Have you been following along with her posts at all? No disrespect (to her or you) but there are some parallels.
Are you settling? Or trying desperately to do so just so you can get kids and marriage out of the way? I'm not being offensive, I'm just curious....because you seem to be doing yourself a disservice by hanging on to a man who is only halfway vested who started your relationship on a bed of lies and fantasy.
Take a step back and look at this objectively.....move forward pushing him in the slot you want him in and you might be setting yourself up for years of miserly experiences.....all for the sake of being 'taken'.

click to expand

Investment is not the issue.
He is more invested than I've been. I am the one asking for breaks, and the one who broke up with him and he was definitely not down with it but he respected my wishes.

The catfish thing was a dick move on his behalf and I know it. I was upset for a long time about it, but the truth is I don't give a fuck if he's fat and doesn't have a lot of money.

My issue was that he lied.
It's a valid issue, and I have struggled to decide if it is forgivable or not.

I can understand being embarrassed about those things. Wanting to make someone like you for YOU and not what you look like or how much money you make.
I get that.
I have decided it is in fact forgivable.
In fact I have already forgiven him, but it took time. And it got brought up during fights in a nasty way multiple times before I did.
No I'm not settling, I adore this guy for who this guy is. For his absolutely brilliant mind. For his patience. For how incredible it feels tucked into the crook of his arm when we sleep.
I'm divorced and already have a child, marriage and kids is not something on my mind, at all. I want a best friend and lover and that's what he is.
I was single for SEVEN years before meeting this guy because I refused to settle. I had many suitors and NONE of them made me feel the way my Aqua does. None of them were compatible emotionally, or in terms of life goals etc, the way me and my

ops. got cut off.

I said, it's a very watery venus love. He's very very lucky.

i always read that water venuses are so loving and nurturing and it's true!!
even venus in the 12th, 4th, ....and 8th is more intense love but it's similar, yet different.

my sister's venus is in aqua but it's in 8th house so it is more an intense love. but i can't tell w/ her cause she's dominant water anyway, so she does things in a way that is watery in her personal relationships. It helps with her mars in water too in combination with 8th house venus. I'm just noticing these small things.

water venuses always gets hard knocks for being too loving when others look at the man as...what the fuck!!?? why are you with him? ewwww.

so interesting!!! no wonder!! what's not good for you, is not good for them and what's good for them is not good for us kind of thing. Which separates our TYPES of love.

also, forget to add, CLD...you're right. Connection is important!! if it's not there, it's NOT there.

Just want to thank everyone for taking the time to reply. It's appreciated.

you're welcome, CLD 🙂