Sex on the first date (Page 2)

tiki33 said: "once a man has insatiated his appetite he's off to conquer someone else"

Your message is positive but gets a lot lost in the mist of the generalization of men and making blanket statements like the one above. So, I will ask you, are you speaking of SOME men or ALL men? It does not indicate which and for me I find this disturbing. Why cut men to the quick like that? All men do not think or behave as you've stated.

Yeah, this conversation is definitely not on the right level. It's all about Donna Reed's standards. No one is interested in that. Women no longer have to live in the shadows of those rules. Women do not have to bake cookies, where dresses and sit with their legs crossed in hopes that a man finds them domestic and proper.

We're not responsible for a man's happiness nor do we have to campaign for his love. So what he will do after any fact is not really important. He is an individual no matter what a woman does. His mind is his and he will do as he wants REGARDLESS if she waits a day or a year. Not that any man will wait a year.

A woman can ask every man she sleeps with prior to doing so what he feels about this that or the other, is he not going to tell her what he believes she wants to hear? If she waits until he "gives" her something solid that says commitment before having sex is that not equally wrong as far as playing hurtful games? Should he be able to shake her moral foundation so easily after a romp in the hay? If so shouldn't she need to check that herself?

I really and truly feel that women have these thoughts because of other women. I like what Aquarius_God said about what men need. I so do. If a man is looking for those things and he has chosen a woman to get to know and he wants to have sex with her then I believe he is not testing her values. So, if he is done with her after that I believe it's due to her behavior that makes or breaks things. Her behavior probably stems from the Donna Reed crap people feed across the land.

If you don't believe it, ask those prim and proper women how far they've gotten with men. They're still single, lonely, and confused as ever. If confident women would throw the Donna Reed crap away and be herself (men want us to be ourselves) then she would probably get further. Thinking that it's GAME ON after sex is what trips women up. Continue being yourself.

cappywench said: "You cannot know if someone you have just met is going to respect you in the morning. That's why it's such a gamble for women,"

No woman should be making the decision to have sex with the fear of if he'll be there tomorrow. You have sex because you want to be intimate with the other person. There are men that may not be there in the morning for a number of reasons. If it's in your head that the man might not want you after sleeping with him then he probably won't. I don't consider myself a genius but I can pretty much call it of dudes that may not be there in the morning and they are not all the loud assholes. Some are pretentious, or judgmental, or arrogant, or insecure.

I'm still trying to grasp this thing that men who like sex run away from women who give them sex. Hmmm... I really don't think it's due to the ease of getting the sex. But, I'm still thinking about it. Anyone feel free to help me out with this. TIA!

Tiki33, just because a woman wants a relationship doesn't necessarily mean it's for long term or to lead to marriage. I don't date with thoughts of walking down the aisle, gosh it would take me a long time to make that decision, certainly wouldn't be displaying behavior in hopes he'd see me as wifey material. I think I must just get off on the passion for however long it lasts. Matrimony is work and I am still too selfish and nowhere in thoughts of becoming somebody's anything as far as dedication is concern. Short term relationships work for me. Yeah, I said it lol.

Unusualcancer. I think delaying sex is only one piece of the puzzle. Perhaps a woman who is unsure and questions things as such should not be dating until she is mentally prepared to handle what may or may not be (tomorrow). A woman with all of these questions isn't ready for dating, sex or a relationship. She's too wrapped up in what other people are saying the rules and consequences are.

I mean really, dating is suppose to be enjoyable, same as sex. What's all this stuff tied to it? Yes, I know women are emotional beings after sex but what does not kill you should make you stronger not bitter and angry. Get back up on the horse and try again. I'm speaking continuing to have sex at your own pace be it fast or slow and not trying to trick a man into a relationship by withholding it for a year.

MOST men don't want a relationship come the first date or the first week. Sex is a bonus but does not entice him. In the same it does not turn him off either it's the behaviors that happen the next day that men begin to question (see OP) and depending on it they go one way or the other.