Should I do this.....?

Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
Hi! First off plz don't be rude or critical I'm simply asking advice. You can be realistic and all but I really don't feeel like arguing w anyone🙂

So I'm sure some of you have read my posts, Aquarius man and I have been split up for about 8 months now. The whole time he has shown no emotion, no care just total disinterest for me. It rly breaks my heart. Now I know aquas tend to look to the future and don't like looking in the past. But how can someone that used to be very important to you and "loved" you just not have a care in the world about you, and how I'm doing and what up in my world now? Why doesn't he give a shit at all?! So I wanted to really straight up, no messy emotional breakdown, ask him why. Ask him why he doesn't want me to be part of his life at all. Why we can't be friends.. Is this ok to do??
Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
Thanx for your reply; what to you mean he must be really hurt to do that? Like he is too hurt from our b/u to talk to me and have any sorta realationship w me cuz he knows it just won't wirk and I do too

Posted by papparazi
Sweety He must be really hurt to do that so yes you can try, for your sake . Atleast it will clear up for good or bad. But don't be surprised if he ignore your calls , texts etc.

Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
not that I'm wanting or expecting him to want me back; that I know will never happen. Is not good for either of us to be together, I just mean a friend like just some part of his life is like to be part of. I'm w my kids father anyways he knows that.

Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by truecap
Don't you have exes that you don't want anything to do with?



+1


similar to scorpios. they freeze you out.

if he isn't making any moves for you, it's time to just pack up and not bother.


men are very very (well in my experience) OBVIOUS when they want you.
click to expand


Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
I know I am past the emotion attachment part. I just would like to be part of his life as a friend. I've know him since HS. We all hung out together he used to date my ex best friend in HS. So I'm just used to him being in my life some way


Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
That's what Aquas do, they DETACH!

You need to get over your ego (I mean that in the most respectful way) and realise he want's to move on. Do the same dear.

Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35

Well I'm with him cuz I do love him but more for the kids. IBe been w him on and off for like 15 yrs, I fell out of live w him. And I'm not looking for emotional attention. Just friendly chat every now and then to see how he is and his son. Or just talk about music we have a lot in common. I miss his friendship


Posted by lisabethur8
oh you're with your child's father??

then why are you so desperate to want his attention?

You have your child's father. Isn't that enough? *scratches head*

i'm not getting this.

Profile picture of lisabethur8
lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by Zetarose

Well I'm with him cuz I do love him but more for the kids. IBe been w him on and off for like 15 yrs, I fell out of live w him. And I'm not looking for emotional attention. Just friendly chat every now and then to see how he is and his son. Or just talk about music we have a lot in common. I miss his friendship


Posted by lisabethur8
oh you're with your child's father??

then why are you so desperate to want his attention?

You have your child's father. Isn't that enough? *scratches head*

i'm not getting this.

click to expand




maybe he has a girlfriend? If he has one, he probably doesn't want to upset his gf. If that's so, that's good then. I like men who are attentive to their women and drop all their ex's, no girl friends or anything like that. i'm jealous and possessive like that.
Profile picture of lisabethur8
lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by littlemegabyte
Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
That's what Aquas do, they DETACH!

You need to get over your ego (I mean that in the most respectful way) and realise he want's to move on. Do the same dear.



Truer words were never spoken. Girl you really need to move past this guy. Mine did the same thing years ago. For more than a year I was desperate to know WHY. I never got to know why, but eventually I was okay with that.

The torment you're putting your self through by not accepting it and moving on is not treating your self with respect.

Just let go. Stop. Accept it. Move on. It's true- that's what they do- detach.

If he wanted to be your friend, then he would be. He's either really hurt or doesn't care. But he doesn't want anything to do with you and you just have to accept that. Sometimes you simply don't get the basic luxury of obtaining "closure", it's shitty but true.
click to expand




uh maybe you and i dated wrong aquas, but i had an ex aqua, and he slashed my tires because i told him i was going to leave him. (he was abusive) he was possessive and angry and abusive.

detachment is more indifference to someone.

you can't make sweeping generalizations like that.
Profile picture of aquasnoz
aquasnoz
@aquasnoz
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
Posted by lisabethur8
uh maybe you and i dated wrong aquas, but i had an ex aqua, and he slashed my tires because i told him i was going to leave him. (he was abusive) he was possessive and angry and abusive.

detachment is more indifference to someone.

you can't make sweeping generalizations like that.



God the aqua I dated went mental because my phone died for a day. I got about a million calls from her brother, sister, mother and father asking what I did to upset her.

I think that was a sure sign for my slow fade.

Even that was the wrong move... gotta give it to aquas, we are certified cray.
Profile picture of lisabethur8
lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by aquasnoz
Posted by lisabethur8
uh maybe you and i dated wrong aquas, but i had an ex aqua, and he slashed my tires because i told him i was going to leave him. (he was abusive) he was possessive and angry and abusive.

detachment is more indifference to someone.

you can't make sweeping generalizations like that.



God the aqua I dated went mental because my phone died for a day. I got about a million calls from her brother, sister, mother and father asking what I did to upset her.

I think that was a sure sign for my slow fade.

Even that was the wrong move... gotta give it to aquas, we are certified cray.
click to expand




with my ex, i couldn't leave him, because he was so abusive. i was deathly afraid of him. i've seen what he did to people and what he used to do to me. i have a strong 12th house, so i kept alot secret, and hid alot of stuff from my parents and family.

he was a former wrestler, and a strong athletic guy, but he was insane. To be honest it was only when i got together with another Scorpio man (not romantic) in a group, for a project, (and he had respect for this Scorpio for some reason) that he left me alone. (took awhile though) It's a loooooonnnngg story. too looong, but it was a terrible time.

it was like there was a quiet non-communication with those two. So strange.
Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
ou, I know you're right. I just wanna be part of his life in some way.. I wish he did too.. I just don't knkw why he is so scared of me and like runs away from me (not physically metaphorically) it's like when I do contact him he replies but says bye before I even reply back... 😢 well he did that last time. I think he's back w baby mama... Who is srsly insane but they're both artists and live in the same town at least. Me and mr Aqua are 400 miles apart it was a LDR for most the time we wer together. But thanx for slappin me back into reality , in a nice way🙂


Posted by littlemegabyte
Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
That's what Aquas do, they DETACH!

You need to get over your ego (I mean that in the most respectful way) and realise he want's to move on. Do the same dear.



Truer words were never spoken. Girl you really need to move past this guy. Mine did the same thing years ago. For more than a year I was desperate to know WHY. I never got to know why, but eventually I was okay with that.

The torment you're putting your self through by not accepting it and moving on is not treating your self with respect.

Just let go. Stop. Accept it. Move on. It's true- that's what they do- detach.

If he wanted to be your friend, then he would be. He's either really hurt or doesn't care. But he doesn't want anything to do with you and you just have to accept that. Sometimes you simply don't get the basic luxury of obtaining "closure", it's shitty but true.
click to expand


Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
Ya,, I mean I've contacted him before and we did kinda just talk like friends so I guess we kinda were in my head. But since he never contact me first and when I do contact him he doesn't ask how I am or anything lik that makes me think I'm just a burden. I know I do need to focus on both my daughters thanks🙂


Posted by papparazi
So every time you have contacted if he had replied haven't you asked him that already ?

Well I m not expert on that. Just be polite in the beginning and bring up indirectly? Well he might snap once you bring up that topic so prepare for that.

But don't you have a daughter ? You have to be strong and focus on her.

Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
I guess both, but I have tried to seek closure before and it just always ended up in a messy fight. So I wouldn't bring anything like why did he give up on us or why he just vanished from my life. Cuz that'd just drive him right away. But I really do miss being a friend to him. He's funny, smart, loves music and goin to shows like I do so we have a lot we could talk about. But it's like when I contact him and try to bring the stuff up we do have in common he just like says something lame like oh that's gay.... He's so freakin jerky to me now Lol but I can't help but still love him. Not romantically anymore I'm past that mindset.,, just like a long lost friend now


Posted by duchesslibro
Wait.. are you seeking closure or friendship? Don't try be friends with an ex who doesn't want to be friends. That's just annoying.

Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
Wow.. Ya I guess you do understand. I'm sorry about that. How long have you been broke up? And he's an Aquarius? Mines an aqua w cap moon. Maybe that's whybhes more detached. What's your exes moon sign?


Posted by littlemegabyte
Trust me, I know the feeling of despair and desperation of wanting to be in a person's life that wants nothing to do with you whenever you still love them. Just be glad that he is far away. I saw my Aqua ex last week and he walked past me within 2 feet of me and didn't even look at me whenever I know he saw me lol. Rude and ridiculous. Can't even be friendly to one another?! In my own head, I was like "Oh hey, I only slept next to you for idk, more than 3 years? You kinda held me whenever I cried, took care of me whenever I was sick, was there when my mom died and were my pillar of strength and I, yours, for so many events in our lives. And you kinda moved 10 hours to be here with me too? So glad we can be mature about all this lol"

It is odd how people who were so close to us can become strangers.

Profile picture of lisabethur8
lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by littlemegabyte
Posted by Zetarose
Wow.. Ya I guess you do understand. I'm sorry about that. How long have you been broke up? And he's an Aquarius? Mines an aqua w cap moon. Maybe that's whybhes more detached. What's your exes moon sign?


Posted by littlemegabyte
Trust me, I know the feeling of despair and desperation of wanting to be in a person's life that wants nothing to do with you whenever you still love them. Just be glad that he is far away. I saw my Aqua ex last week and he walked past me within 2 feet of me and didn't even look at me whenever I know he saw me lol. Rude and ridiculous. Can't even be friendly to one another?! In my own head, I was like "Oh hey, I only slept next to you for idk, more than 3 years? You kinda held me whenever I cried, took care of me whenever I was sick, was there when my mom died and were my pillar of strength and I, yours, for so many events in our lives. And you kinda moved 10 hours to be here with me too? So glad we can be mature about all this lol"

It is odd how people who were so close to us can become strangers.



I'm not entirely sure what his moon was. I think it was in one of the more cold placements though. Gosh at this point he and I had been broken up for like three years. I have moved on and found and lost love again since haha. I do reflect on that relationship from time to time though. Glad to be out of it.
click to expand




lmao 😆 😆 it's just funny reading it like that. But when you look at the person in real life, you don't really see the "cold" 😆


Profile picture of duchesslibro
duchesslibro
@duchesslibro
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 81 · Posts: 3016 · Topics: 49
Posted by Zetarose
Fuck it in not gonna put myself through his total lack of care and indifference toward myself. fuck him if he doesn't want anything to do w me! I'm a great person I don't need his fuckinh approval of friendship to feel complete so screw him!!!!!_—_—_—_—



Yes! Channel your energy elsewhere, something productive that makes you happy 🙂
Profile picture of aquasnoz
aquasnoz
@aquasnoz
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
Posted by Zetarose

Me..? Wow what is your problem? You must be very unhappy person.


Posted by aquasnoz
can you just ask him already.

Not that I'm complaining because it's quite like watching a slow humorous torture.

click to expand




haha on the contrary I find it funny you are the one making yourself miserable but each to their own 🙂 happy to go rounds too if you want.

But go ahead keep being a shit cunt.
Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
to be a bitch u choose to .. Well karma is all I got to say'. Get a life. If u wanna come on my thread and be a bitch... You got nothing else to do then obviously. And your choice word cunt is supposed to offend me..— Like bitch u have no idea what I've been through in my life so fuck off and get a life lmfao


Posted by aquasnoz
Posted by Zetarose

Me..? Wow what is your problem? You must be very unhappy person.


Posted by aquasnoz
can you just ask him already.

Not that I'm complaining because it's quite like watching a slow humorous torture.



haha on the contrary I find it funny you are the one making yourself miserable but each to their own 🙂 happy to go rounds too if you want.

But go ahead keep being a shit cunt.
click to expand


Profile picture of aquasnoz
aquasnoz
@aquasnoz
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
Rude is just your own interpretation of things. I'll gladly say I'm rude and a bit of a cunt and that doesn't bother me one bit. As I said I thoroughly enjoy watching you (especially the type of virgo such as yourself) get so offended on opinions/advice/suggestions that doesn't conform to your fantasy logic.

Then again I admire virgos so I can't even pull the virgo card, it's just you. You fall into the type of people that post on forums such as this not to ask a question or get opinion but again to validate what you want to hear and how you are feeling.

Unfortunately there's a thing called life and actual honest opinions that shatter this fantasy world of yours. If you can't see that then hey that's a perfectly good reason why your aqua friend isn't a friend anymore because there's no way I would want a shit friend like you.
Profile picture of metalaquamonkey
metalaquamonkey
@metalaquamonkey
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 765 · Posts: 1610 · Topics: 5
I have ignored some exes and iced them out of my life completely. I can be friends with exes only if I know there is mutual respect and no hurt feelings or desire to get back.

The ones I ignored or iced out I did that not to be cruel but because I knew they still had feelings I didn't have and I didn't want to hurt them by giving them false hope that maybe we still have a chance. Things can get messy real quick when people aren't on the same page regarding relationships of any kind.

My personal opinion is that you should just let him go. I know it will hurt given your history together but he's now the past and you don't want to waste anymore precious time in the present and regret it in the future.

Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
Thank you for your advice.. Can I ask u something? Could it possibly be that he does have feelings for me but just knows it will never work out, so that's why he doesn't want to talk to me? Like maybe it's just too painful for him to be friends and talk to me? Cuz I am w my kids dad (more for the kids, it's sux I knkw but it's just the situation I'm in now) and maybe it hurts him that he knows I'll never leave him and my kids now..?? I mean we once did have plans to reunite cuz it was a LDR. And now I'm back w my kids dad and 400 miles away still so it's just a hard situation anyways if we were to get back together. So maybe that's why


Posted by metalaquamonkey
I have ignored some exes and iced them out of my life completely. I can be friends with exes only if I know there is mutual respect and no hurt feelings or desire to get back.

The ones I ignored or iced out I did that not to be cruel but because I knew they still had feelings I didn't have and I didn't want to hurt them by giving them false hope that maybe we still have a chance. Things can get messy real quick when people aren't on the same page regarding relationships of any kind.

My personal opinion is that you should just let him go. I know it will hurt given your history together but he's now the past and you don't want to waste anymore precious time in the present and regret it in the future.

Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
when I was planning on moving back home where he lives , he knew about it and texted me all sweet and asking what's up in my life and then he just casually asked so... You must be moving back home if you found a place..? And then I said Ya I might be.. And I never did and then that was the last time HE contacted me first-- like when he knew there may be a possibility of me living in his area.. And he did it so nonchalant too... It was funny.. But it got me excited he was trying to get back w me. But I stayed here so he stopped texting me.. I'm assuming that's why


Posted by Zetarose
Thank you for your advice.. Can I ask u something? Could it possibly be that he does have feelings for me but just knows it will never work out, so that's why he doesn't want to talk to me? Like maybe it's just too painful for him to be friends and talk to me? Cuz I am w my kids dad (more for the kids, it's sux I knkw but it's just the situation I'm in now) and maybe it hurts him that he knows I'll never leave him and my kids now..?? I mean we once did have plans to reunite cuz it was a LDR. And now I'm back w my kids dad and 400 miles away still so it's just a hard situation anyways if we were to get back together. So maybe that's why


Posted by metalaquamonkey
I have ignored some exes and iced them out of my life completely. I can be friends with exes only if I know there is mutual respect and no hurt feelings or desire to get back.

The ones I ignored or iced out I did that not to be cruel but because I knew they still had feelings I didn't have and I didn't want to hurt them by giving them false hope that maybe we still have a chance. Things can get messy real quick when people aren't on the same page regarding relationships of any kind.

My personal opinion is that you should just let him go. I know it will hurt given your history together but he's now the past and you don't want to waste anymore precious time in the present and regret it in the future.

click to expand


Profile picture of thisismylife2015
thisismylife2015
@thisismylife2015
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 260 · Topics: 15
Posted by Huldra
This awesome drama chick is still here? I've been trying to avoid trolling her but by Odin's beard, she's inviting it!



Yes! It's hilarious too. But I've seen a Virgo go back and forth before like this before. It makes you want to strangle them. Lol.

OP, you have to either move on or ask him if you two can be friends. Be prepared if he says no or not right now. Don't read into it, just accept it. But if he says yes, you need to stay within the friend boundaries, which means not getting offended over contact, responses, etc. If you don't think you can do that....do not attempt friendship right now. If he is the type of aqua who can be friends with his ex's, he may contact you at a later time to do so.

From the way this sounds though, I unfortunately don't think friendship is going to happen between you two.
Profile picture of metalaquamonkey
metalaquamonkey
@metalaquamonkey
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 765 · Posts: 1610 · Topics: 5
I feel that Twodrinkminimum said it best. Especially right here.

Posted by Twodrinkminimum
I would wait until he and his gf break up or just leave it alone all together. The reason I'd wait for the break up is because his feelings towards you could be clouded by her, for good or bad. If things are going bad with her, he's going to possibly give you false hope because he's looking for a safety net. Then when things are going well, you'll get shoved to the side.

Let some time pass without contacting him at all. I say this all the time on DXP but I'll say it again...People are so afraid afraid that a bond will be broken by time or space. A true bond will never be broken. I didn't speak to my Virgo bff for over a year after we had a falling out. When I reached out, he shut me down. He eventually came back when he was ready to reconcile and we went back to being best friends like nothing had ever happened.

Also, you need to deal with your own feelings and emotions for him. You have to go back to having no expectations of him. He's not your boyfriend or lover anymore. Expecting anything more than a cordial friendship is just going to drain you emotionally and get you hurt all over again. You don't seem to be ready for "just friends" with him. I think you're still emotionally invested.



Despite what was said or done by him in the past no matter how sweet etc. that was/is still the past. If I were you I'd let it go and focus on my current relationship.

I understand that it's hard and painful to let go especially having been so close, but in my opinion that would be best at this point.

I wish you well and hope you heal as I know this is painful for you. You owe it to yourself to allow yourself happiness from those who will appreciate your time and effort and who will reciprocate it. Again wish you all the best.
Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
Oh I know I'm not that naive... I'm not so innocent myself so Ya still gotta live life! I'm not gonna be celebent cuz of him so I wouldn't wxpect him too either lol


Posted by AquaMermaid
Let me paint a pretty picture for you. While you're here making multiple threads obsessing over this man and hurting for him, he's with his baby momma or another chick fucking her brains out. He's not missing a wishy washy woman who lashed out at him ,nagged him and threatened to break up with him evetytime she got insecure.I don't understand one thing, why do you women who claim to be with a man are obsessing over an ex? Why are you giving so much importance to "what was" instead of focusing on "what is"? Obsess over your current man,make him happy and find peace. Gather some self esteem and pride and kick him out of your heart and brain. I am not going to comment any further on this topic because I am done explaining you. You can take it however you want.Good luck!

Profile picture of thisismylife2015
thisismylife2015
@thisismylife2015
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 260 · Topics: 15
Posted by Zetarose
Yes I welcome help n advice but your comment of strangling me was rude!


Posted by thisismylife2015
Posted by Zetarose
Ya thx go strangle yourself Okbye



Lol. You try to help people out and this is what happens. SMH!!! If I cared enough to really go in on you, or if any of us did for that matter, you wouldn't be able to handle it. You'll be ok sensitive one.

click to expand




Oh no, I didn't mean strangle YOU. I meant strangle metaphorically at the endless going back and forth of Virgos period when dealing with a breakup. You're not the only Virgo I know to go through that.
Profile picture of Zetarose
Virgozlibra
@Zetarose
10 YearsVirgo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 297 · Topics: 35
then! I tend to take things the wrong way! Plz no hard feelings; I wanna forum I can talk to n chat w ppl not fight! And ask advice, Ya know. 🙂


Posted by thisismylife2015
Posted by Zetarose
Yes I welcome help n advice but your comment of strangling me was rude!


Posted by thisismylife2015
Posted by Zetarose
Ya thx go strangle yourself Okbye



Lol. You try to help people out and this is what happens. SMH!!! If I cared enough to really go in on you, or if any of us did for that matter, you wouldn't be able to handle it. You'll be ok sensitive one.



Oh no, I didn't mean strangle YOU. I meant strangle metaphorically at the endless going back and forth of Virgos period when dealing with a breakup. You're not the only Virgo I know to go through that.
click to expand