Thoughts on love

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aquasnoz
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Wondering generally how you guys view the word 'love'. Now I know some people throw it out like it means nothing, and there are also context like telling your friends how much you love them but when it comes to your s/o when do you feel like it's the right time to say it.

I ask because I seriously don't use this word much. It came to my attention I had used this to convey what I feel for my pisces. It's something I had not had to think about until she asked me about it. I had told her fundamentally I feel the connection we had is hard to pin down but if I had to use a word it was that I loved her essence which more simply put I love her. I tried to explain it doesn't mean I'm willing to jump the gun it was merely an observation of my own feelings.

So the second question is have you guys ever met anyone who you felt so strongly for that it feels like love? Take out all the romantic feelings or physical desires have you guys ever met someone that somehow made you question at how illogical it is to have such feelings even when simply put you love them a lot.
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Scenic
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I don't like saying it much, except when I really feel it. However, the people I've been with have used the phrase 'I love you' frequently and get really upset if I don't always say it back. But, jeez, if you say it over 5 times a day, what does that end up meaning to me? It becomes just another phrase. It's also the ultimate convo killer. If you don't want to put effort into a conversation, just say 'I love you' and you will have effectively ruined it (I've never done that, but it's been done to me, often). I prefer when people show me they love me instead of saying it. I don't take words as seriously as actions, because everyone says things they don't mean, etc. In the beginning of a relationship, I refuse to say the phrase 'I love you' until I really feel it. I make a rule that it has to be at least 2 months into a relationship before I say it, also. That way, I'll know for sure and it won't be seen as creepy. Sometimes, what I feel is the potential for love, and I have said 'I love you' at that point, however, I will not do that again. Anytime after that first time I say it, it becomes less and less meaningful.

As for the second part, perhaps I might have felt that way with my ex. I never really questioned it, though, and it was my first love, so I didn't really know what was normal to feel or not. But, when I met him, I started actually FEELING things. The first day we talked, I just..felt something. Before him, my friends would refer to me as a robot or whatever else, joking about how unemotional I was. And in truth, I didn't really care about much. I didn't care if I lived my life single and didn't care about anybody to a high degree. So, perhaps, if I thought about it, it would have been a bit illogical. We had really nothing in common, either, but we both loved each other.

That's just my experience with it. I hope that all made sense and was relevant.
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aquasnoz
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Posted by size zero superhero
Naturally, the context and intensity level of love are varied; at times they are accompanied by physical lust, infused with friendship. The term can mean as little as satisfaction, or as much as passion. Functionally quite similar to 'hate'--a word used in reference to anything from traffic to specific individuals.
IMO, the word 'love's conversational and literal versatility is what throws people off, in regard to its authentic definition(which is also subjective).



I'd have to agree with this. I find the people I talk to when I ask them this question have a hard time separating the feeling of being in love with love itself, some even compare to a crush or limerence and some outright just compares it to wanting to have physical relations.

I use to say a a relationship is merely best friends with benefits if you view it at the most basics of level. This was all before I met the pisces, unknowingly she's challenging my views without even realising it herself. Thing is I question, I need to deduce in order to figure things out, everything has to have an explanation!
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aquasnoz
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Posted by EvilTurtle
LOVE YUCK!!! What is it? How do you descibe it? Beyond quoting cheesy movie quotes the desire to walk five miles in subzero temps just to see her smile. To let her go so she can fulfill her dreams regardless of how much it hurts. I say i love you rarely but when i do i mean it.



+1 I use to believe in this very strongly but I'm not conflicted if that's really the best way.
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aquasnoz
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*AM conflicted

Simply put I can't define it. It feels like some sort of elaborate scheme that has made me question. The chances of our meeting was so circumstantial but it happened, the chances for either of us to fall quickly is also so slim that we both question this. For whatever should be the most logical approach we can't seem to follow through. For whatever reason we feel that we should be apart it's that same reason that undeniably draws us closer.

I entertain the notion of love because what I feel is somewhat like that. Even the word 'soul mate' isn't out of the question but part of me is so insecure about telling her, she's so real and almost too perfect that it can't possibly be true! Or has my cynicism stopped me from doing what I really should do? OR is this the fundamental piscean mentality of a fantasy?

My mind is drawing a blank but I do question the validity of my thoughts. I think I'm borderlining going insane at the moment. The last conversation we had was admitting that fact we loved each other, we haven't spoken since.
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WaterCup
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I dont use that term at all even when i feel it. It makes me uncomfortable. I use "like you very much". I have problems telling people how i feel if its positive ie love, but i zero inhibitions when i dont... i tell it straight. Love is a wonderful thing. Its amazing how it can make a dreary day so bright simply because you love and are loved *sigh* Even the birds sing so beautifully. And when you see other couples holding hands and gazing at each other you smile inside because you understand. I love love, but sadly i seem to be inlove with the idea of love or the idea of a person than reality. Once i get with a person i dont know what to do with them, i enjoy longing & fantasizing from afar. God help me!
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aquasnoz
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Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
i remember when i was with my first boyfriend i went to say i love you for the first time instead of saying tom i said sean instead which was my room mate at the time lol very awkward moment i denied i said sean lol



HAHAH! I remember when I first tried to say I love you to my sag. Sitting beside each other and I thought I'd put my arm around her shoulders. Must've misjudged the depth but I totally elbowed her in the face.

"I Lo.."
BANG "WHAT THE FUCK!!! OOOOW!"
"you?"
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lisabeth
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Love is, never being AFRAID to love,

don't be insecure.

http://www.wikihow.com/Recognize-Insecurities<BR>
Selfishness. The selfish person hides behind a collection of people, awards, possessions, achievements, etc., but never uses these gains to help others or to make the world a better place. Instead, each of these additions to their life acts like a notch on the belt, proving that they are better than others (a typical sign of insecurity) and causing them to be even less involved in the lives of others.

Arrogance. The more someone tells you they earn X amount, work for X corporation, drive X car, know X people, and are the best at X things, the less secure this person is. Unfortunately, the pride of such a person blinds them to their underlying insecurity and they tend to think that blowing their own horn 24/7 is a positive character trait.
Obsequious, fawning, too-ready-to-please. This is typical behavior of a people pleaser and it's all about ingratiating themselves with you so that you will like them, always. They find it hard to believe that you can say "no" and still be liked.


-----
More on the link.

For upcoming February 14th valentines, and those who are searching for their love. Remember, ladies, men can smell it a mile away!

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lisabeth
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On LOVE and SUCCESS in RELATIONSHIPS:

http://missalisasplace.com/2012/06/11/why-controlling-women-will-never-be-happy-in-love/<BR>
So, are you a controlling woman? Here are four telltale signs that you are.

1. You always have to be right. Is winning everything to you? Do you get furious if your man doesn't see things your way? Do you punish him by pouting or yelling or manipulating him in some way to get him to agree with you? If so, you are probably a controlling woman. Solution? Learn to say things like, —I never thought about it that way,?? or —I can see your point,?? or —I appreciate you sharing your opinion with me, it's really helpful to understand how you see this.?? You don't have to agree with your man, but you have to respect him. Insisting that he's stupid for not agreeing with you is a mega #fail.

2. You spy on him. Do you check his cell phone records, or hack into his email? Do you follow him? Do you try to —catch?? him doing something wrong? If so, you are probably a controlling woman. Solution? Find ways to find your own life as fascinating as you find his. Get some friends, or hobbies. Be fulfilled. Stop worrying. Relax. Be nice.

3. Your man must seek your permission before he hangs out with his buddies or goes somewhere by himself. Do you have to know exactly where he is at all times? Do you keep tabs on his coming and going? Yeah? Well, you??re probably a controller. Solution? Trust him. And if you can't, then let him go. No one wants to be policed.

4. You tell him how to spend his money, how to dress,
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lisabeth
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Posted by feb16aqua
Posted by lisabethur8
On LOVE and SUCCESS in RELATIONSHIPS:

http://missalisasplace.com/2012/06/11/why-controlling-women-will-never-be-happy-in-love/<BR>
So, are you a controlling woman? Here are four telltale signs that you are.

1. You always have to be right. Is winning everything to you? Do you get furious if your man doesn't see things your way? Do you punish him by pouting or yelling or manipulating him in some way to get him to agree with you? If so, you are probably a controlling woman. Solution? Learn to say things like, —I never thought about it that way,?? or —I can see your point,?? or —I appreciate you sharing your opinion with me, it's really helpful to understand how you see this.?? You don't have to agree with your man, but you have to respect him. Insisting that he's stupid for not agreeing with you is a mega #fail.
2. You spy on him. Do you check his cell phone records, or hack into his email? Do you follow him? Do you try to —catch?? him doing something wrong? If so, you are probably a controlling woman. Solution? Find ways to find your own life as fascinating as you find his. Get some friends, or hobbies. Be fulfilled. Stop worrying. Relax. Be nice.
3. Your man must seek your permission before he hangs out with his buddies or goes somewhere by himself. Do you have to know exactly where he is at all times? Do you keep tabs on his coming and going? Yeah? Well, you??re probably a controller. Solution? Trust him. And if you can't, then let him go. No one wants to be policed.
4. You tell him how to spend his money, how to dress,



Hmmmm something to think about...spark ignited!
click to expand




🙂 Never control another human being, and respect your partner. That's basically it. It's basic common sense but I guess some women love to control and feel good when they are in control, but most of the time the marriages don't work, and if they stay together, they are unhappy. Dr. Phil moment. In a partnership, LET. GO. Do not control.
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lisabeth
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Posted by feb16aqua
Posted by lisabethur8


🙂 Never control another human being, and respect your partner. That's basically it. It's basic common sense but I guess some women love to control and feel good when they are in control, but most of the time the marriages don't work, and if they stay together, they are unhappy. Dr. Phil moment. In a partnership, LET. GO. Do not control.



I can speak for myself, I love winning. Spying, sure. I don't trust easily if at all. Do I really scream the control vibe out?
click to expand




Yes, a bit. It's allright, we're not perfect, but there's plenty of self-help guides out there for you and every woman who wants to have a good happy life. Not just for your future commitments, but most of all, for yourself.
There's days we have unhappy days, sad, mopey, miserable crap days. They come and go.
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lisabeth
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Posted by feb16aqua
Posted by lisabethur8


🙂 Never control another human being, and respect your partner. That's basically it. It's basic common sense but I guess some women love to control and feel good when they are in control, but most of the time the marriages don't work, and if they stay together, they are unhappy. Dr. Phil moment. In a partnership, LET. GO. Do not control.



I can speak for myself, I love winning. Spying, sure. I don't trust easily if at all. Do I really scream the control vibe out?
click to expand




I forget to mention that many astrologers say that if you're dominant air, you all will have very difficult time to commit. Thus, why 'commitmitphobe" ...Unless your placements are all in 4th house. (Like Sarah Palin's stellium aquarius in the 4th)
I haven't studied more than that. I'm pretty clueless about it.
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lisabeth
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Posted by feb16aqua
Posted by lisabethur8


Yes, a bit. It's allright, we're not perfect, but there's plenty of self-help guides out there for you and every woman who wants to have a good happy life. Not just for your future commitments, but most of all, for yourself.
There's days we have unhappy days, sad, mopey, miserable crap days. They come and go.



Yes thank you! I've been subtly aware of this for awhile now. My sister (taurus sun) a few years ago whispered to me in private "you're a control freak" and walked away. That stung me. I still remember it to this day. That is going to be a very indepth personal self discussion and discovery I am going to need to have with myself. Thank you for bringing this to me.
click to expand




also, not just dominant air, (this is just generalizing) but Virgos and Sagittarius's are known for being commitment-phobic. Gemini's not so much because they search for their "twin", and need "togetherness", and Libras are Venus ruled/partnership, so they like partnership, not just in romance but in business.

Sags need to roam free and Virgos are just damn picky/choosy.

also, you know Taurus Sun (generalizing) is a fixed sign, unless she has a good amount of mutability, and you as well, you can easily adapt to eachother.
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lisabeth
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Posted by feb16aqua
Posted by lisabethur8


I forget to mention that many astrologers say that if you're dominant air, you all will have very difficult time to commit. Thus, why 'commitmitphobe" ...Unless your placements are all in 4th house. (Like Sarah Palin's stellium aquarius in the 4th)
I haven't studied more than that. I'm pretty clueless about it.



Yeah that's my aqua air, libra moon maybe right there I would say. I have to look at my chart more seems like.

I've realized the commitment-phobe for me is also manifested in my lack of giving myself to someone, especially spiritually and emotionally.
click to expand




You have Libra moon, that's an indication you can have a good commitment with someone. The not "control" thing is the only clue in to relationships.

Unless you want to be a Business Savvy Mogul, high up in the ladder, you can cover this. You can be IN control. And enjoy it.
In a relationship, you need to give.
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Gemitati
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It’s true:

The most spectacular,indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone.

Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you're in love, you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete.

This love is unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone. It's when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes because that's how much you care about them and because their needs come before your own. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa.

It's when they're the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and when they're the first thing you think of when you wake up, the feeling that warms your heart and leaves you overcome by a feeling of serenity. Love involves wanting to show your affection and/or devotion to each other. It's the smile on your face you get when you're thinking about them and miss them.

Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense,and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you're in love. If you find it, don't let it go.
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AQUA•FISH
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Posted by aquasnoz
Wondering generally how you guys view the word 'love'. Now I know some people throw it out like it means nothing, and there are also context like telling your friends how much you love them but when it comes to your s/o when do you feel like it's the right time to say it.

I ask because I seriously don't use this word much. It came to my attention I had used this to convey what I feel for my pisces. It's something I had not had to think about until she asked me about it. I had told her fundamentally I feel the connection we had is hard to pin down but if I had to use a word it was that I loved her essence which more simply put I love her. I tried to explain it doesn't mean I'm willing to jump the gun it was merely an observation of my own feelings.

So the second question is have you guys ever met anyone who you felt so strongly for that it feels like love? Take out all the romantic feelings or physical desires have you guys ever met someone that somehow made you question at how illogical it is to have such feelings even when simply put you love them a lot.
Yes, I have 😄

For me is something that I feel and when I feel it I have to tell. It just comes out. It doesn’t mean I want to marry you. It means at this moment I really feel love for you and it’s you I want. Simple.
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aquasnoz
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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by aquasnoz
Wow what a throwback!

I've just actually come back from a getaway with the pisces in the original post. I still stand by it. It's something deep down inside that I just blurt out because I'm still an idiot.
you're back!

hows life treating ya?
click to expand

Yeah it's okay I guess. Just had a really really bad round of depression tbh. I think the last thing I commented on here was about it lol. Did I miss out on anything fun?
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aquasnoz
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Posted by Aquarelle
Posted by aquasnoz
Wondering generally how you guys view the word 'love'. Now I know some people throw it out like it means nothing, and there are also context like telling your friends how much you love them but when it comes to your s/o when do you feel like it's the right time to say it.

I ask because I seriously don't use this word much. It came to my attention I had used this to convey what I feel for my pisces. It's something I had not had to think about until she asked me about it. I had told her fundamentally I feel the connection we had is hard to pin down but if I had to use a word it was that I loved her essence which more simply put I love her. I tried to explain it doesn't mean I'm willing to jump the gun it was merely an observation of my own feelings.

So the second question is have you guys ever met anyone who you felt so strongly for that it feels like love? Take out all the romantic feelings or physical desires have you guys ever met someone that somehow made you question at how illogical it is to have such feelings even when simply put you love them a lot.
I don't say it much, I only say it when I really mean it. I feel when you say "I love you" too many times, it loses it's meaning.

Second question: I met someone once who made me question everything I knew about love. I can honestly say in hindsight that I didn't know what love was until I met him.
click to expand

IF there's one thing I know it's that I don't know much. For a fixed sign I'm super mutable in that regard. I definitely haven't said I love you in a while now though.
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aquasnoz
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Posted by justagirl
Posted by aquasnoz
Wow what a throwback!

I've just actually come back from a getaway with the pisces in the original post. I still stand by it. It's something deep down inside that I just blurt out because I'm still an idiot.
Hey you! Miss you around these parts! How's life going?!?
click to expand

mah twin! We're soon to be another year older, I mean wiser!

Life's been okay. I did one of them aqua things people always described. I think it's called completely disappearing off the face of the earth thing haha.

Hope you've been well!
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SelenaKyle
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Posted by aquasnoz
Posted by justagirl
Posted by aquasnoz
Wow what a throwback!

I've just actually come back from a getaway with the pisces in the original post. I still stand by it. It's something deep down inside that I just blurt out because I'm still an idiot.
Hey you! Miss you around these parts! How's life going?!?
mah twin! We're soon to be another year older, I mean wiser!

Life's been okay. I did one of them aqua things people always described. I think it's called completely disappearing off the face of the earth thing haha.

Hope you've been well!
click to expand

Hahha I need to do that sometime soon. And yes wiser and wiser🙂

Life has been kind to me this year, hope it continues that direction lol
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lisabeth
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Posted by aquasnoz
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by aquasnoz
Wow what a throwback!

I've just actually come back from a getaway with the pisces in the original post. I still stand by it. It's something deep down inside that I just blurt out because I'm still an idiot.
you're back!

hows life treating ya?
Yeah it's okay I guess. Just had a really really bad round of depression tbh. I think the last thing I commented on here was about it lol. Did I miss out on anything fun?
click to expand

sorry to hear that. have you gone to a medical practitioner/professional therapist to help you out?

i know some family members who went through deprssion and they got through by having some talk to talk therapy with professinal and also on prescription to help them.

not really. same ole, same ole, but the world is gettig weird and scary with all the sex scandals. and also all the shootings.