What do I do about my Aquarius Ex

Hello everyone

I started to date a girl at work just over a year ago. She is an aqua and I am a Leo. She was quite aggressive in chasing me and made it absolutely clear she was interested in me. We are both of indian descent and in some ways traditional.

There is a 12 year age gap between us and I was initially very hesitant to go there with her. We went on a date and I brought up the age difference and her response was that she can be with someone of her age but that doesnt mean she will be happy.

Moving on we had an amazing relationship and her parents asked her where we were heading. So I suggested that maybe she tell her folks about the age gap.

She told her mum who was initially quite shocked and wanted to meet me, which I agreed to do.

Im assuming her mum spoke to her dad who said he was not happy about this relationship at all.

So my ex tells me this and then over the course of a few weeks she became distant. The problem is that we work together as well, so lunches and breaks became awkward. She would turn her face when I kissed her etc, so one day I text her asking if she had an issue with me being affectionate towards her and I got no response.

A week goes by and again i text my ex saying that i didnt feel like I was in a relationship anymore and I got a response saying dont be silly!

I left it for another week and after making attempts to talk I sent a text explaining her behavior and called the relationship off.

I got a text the following morning saying that my text upset her and if this is how its going to go can we talk about it. I agreed to her request.

4 days go by I hear nothing, so the following monday I email her saying this has gone on long enough and we need to talk. We talk after work and she tells me that her folks arent agreeing and its over.

The following day at work I ask her if I can meet her dad and she says she will ask and everytime I ask her what happened she refuses to talk to me and says she doesnt want to talk about it etc, but has also mentioned that I rushed things. Im not too sure exactly what I have rushed because we havent spoke about it.

A few days after that I sent her an email and expressed my feelings to which I got a response saying her head is all over the place and maybe we can talk.

Now I wait a few days to talk I hear nothing from her so I ask her if we can talk this week and she said she was busy as her sister was going to uni.

I got upset and sent her a text saying that we work together so i will civil and professional and that im going to delete her number. I got a repsonse back saying I was over reacting and to give it time and that she never promised to talk this week.

Now that was over a month ago. She has been off work for 3 weeks which has been good so we both have had some breathing space.

I feel that this girl does want to be with me and is perhaps confused and maybe shocked at her parents response, but she has completely closed up wont talk to me.

How long to do I give her some space before I move on? Part of me thinks she will come back but im not sure if im getting this mixed up with not having any answers from her.

Any advice is appreciated.

I am impressed that there actually are aqua girls around who respond most of the time when being texted. I was kind of in a "same" situation, when I met an aqua with a 10 year age gap and thought she liked me too. Then she chased me a little and once I opened up she left me hanging. ^^

Since when do indian people have a problem with a 12 year age gap? I thought it's a common thing when the man is older, even 10 plus years? Or is she too young?

I think my main issue is that there is no closure.

Yes I believe this is the girl for me. Some indians to go against their parents.

My issue is that everytime I wanted to step away she didnt let me.

I think her issue is that she expected that her folks would be shocked but get over it. I dont think she expected them to point blank refuse.

Part of me feels that if she was honest and said theres no future, then I have closure and althought i dont want to move on, I will.

Her confusion doesnt give me any closure, plus I see her everyday and at work its awkward. We say hello if it not avoidable and thats about it. She has completely distanced herself and im dont know whether I should respect her space or initiate contact at some point.

Shes is 26.

Posted by Sagsagsags
I wouldn't push it if i were you. Indians will never go against their parents. At least that's what I know.

My brother (aqua), learned this the hard way ?

it depends on the man.



personally, i have heard of someone's relative, who is a young man who didn't want to marry who/what the parents wanted.

so he just moved out and did his own thing.

you know WHY he was able to do that??

because he is independently wealthy. so he will do what he wants.

wealth/money does that. you can say, "hey parents, don't tell me what to do because i did this on my own and i will love who i love."

otherwise, it's very simple...

you know the story of Ian Fleming—

from a wealthy family.

he was tied to family and probably wouldn't want to be disowned, I think he was too young at the time,

but he didn't /wouldn't have his own if he went for the women he loved.

so he denied himself of the woman he loved because he didn't want to be disowned.

when you are tied to family for money and wealth and power you are under THEIR power you see??

so unless you go out and be independently wealthy yourself, your parents are your guidance no matter what.

Posted by Sagsagsags
@lisabethur8 hmm that explains.... Poor brother ?

well he could still make it out on his own if he wanted.

it really depends on the family though.

some families are just very hard on their children.

Posted by RSJ
I think my main issue is that there is no closure.

Yes I believe this is the girl for me. Some indians to go against their parents.

My issue is that everytime I wanted to step away she didnt let me.

I think her issue is that she expected that her folks would be shocked but get over it. I dont think she expected them to point blank refuse.

Part of me feels that if she was honest and said theres no future, then I have closure and althought i dont want to move on, I will.

Her confusion doesnt give me any closure, plus I see her everyday and at work its awkward. We say hello if it not avoidable and thats about it. She has completely distanced herself and im dont know whether I should respect her space or initiate contact at some point.

Shes is 26.

if she pursued you, why would she all of a sudden drop out? it sounds like you are the one who was doing the pursuing and won't let up. She doesn't sound like her heart is into it though. 😢

or else she would defy all odds and be with you. no matter what.

anyway, sorry to hear that she is breaking contact with you, RSJ, she doesn't love you enough it seems.

Posted by Sagsagsags
@lisabethur8

His ex was an Indian. He only left the states for 6 months visiting family here, 3 months here, he got an email, yes EMAIL, not even a phone call.. a lil courtesy wouldnt hurt LOL ? saying that her parent has arrange her to marry someone else in 2 months time and there's nothing he can do about it, because his ex is too afraid to go against her parents. He got really angry and decided not to return there ever again ?.

On the positive note, I'm happy though.. my bro is back.. teehee ?

aw sounds like she didn't love your brother enough either.

well, at least he has his family and he can start again and find someone who will love him.