leolassie82
@leolassie82
13 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 18 · Topics: 2
ADVICE NEEDED FOR ARIES MAN - LEO FEMALE
The following day he called me, and we reconnected straight way. He then asked me I could meet him that evening and I had to decline but suggested the following day. But his work schedule is insane and our schedules didn't meet so he said he will call me back later to re-schedule. Three weeks went by and nothing from him. Then a long weekend came by and I was tired of waiting so I sent him a text saying —I'm going to be free this weekend, so if you??re available give me a shout. Looking forward to seeing you again??. He texted right back saying —sorry in California with family, will be back in a week or so and will give you a ring then if that's cool—. So I replied casually saying that was cool. It's been 3 weeks again and nothing from him!!
I don't know what to do. I know when he's working he gets so absorbed that he forgets the world around him. Should I wait another couple of weeks and contact him? I??ve never come across as desperate and needy in front of him before and in all honesty, I kinda rejected him in a way and disappeared on him for over a year. Maybe he's purposely making me wait now because I made him wait? All I need is one date with him to invoke his interest again, and then I can go back to playing it cool (which I have no problem with being a leo and having a large ego). After all, so far he has responded to me and wanted to see me. So maybe if I sent him a reminder in a few weeks that shouldn't be harmful right or would I just blow it? Please help as I would really don't want to mess this up.
I don't know what to do. I know when he's working he gets so absorbed that he forgets the world around him. Should I wait another couple of weeks and contact him? I??ve never come across as desperate and needy in front of him before and in all honesty, I kinda rejected him in a way and disappeared on him for over a year. Maybe he's purposely making me wait now because I made him wait? All I need is one date with him to invoke his interest again, and then I can go back to playing it cool (which I have no problem with being a leo and having a large ego). After all, so far he has responded to me and wanted to see me. So maybe if I sent him a reminder in a few weeks that shouldn't be harmful right or would I just blow it? Please help as I would really don't want to mess this up.
You "kinda rejected" him?
That might mean "rejected" to your Aries. It would to me.
Reject me once - fool on me.
You wouldn't get a chance to do it twice; I am that road runner cloud you can barely see in the distance.....
The words "it has been nice knowing you" always seem a bit harsh to me. I would only use them for someone I was never going to see again this lifetime. Like just before I shot them.
I work hard, crazy hours etc and can confirm that if you are in an Aries love strobe light they can be as busy as hell and you are always #1. Without exception.
But your guy could be different - hey give it a shot if you think he is worth it. You don't want to die wondering.
That might mean "rejected" to your Aries. It would to me.
Reject me once - fool on me.
You wouldn't get a chance to do it twice; I am that road runner cloud you can barely see in the distance.....
The words "it has been nice knowing you" always seem a bit harsh to me. I would only use them for someone I was never going to see again this lifetime. Like just before I shot them.
I work hard, crazy hours etc and can confirm that if you are in an Aries love strobe light they can be as busy as hell and you are always #1. Without exception.
But your guy could be different - hey give it a shot if you think he is worth it. You don't want to die wondering.
leos are cheaters no? if a girl left someone for me or cheated with me on her bf id NEVER EVER be in the relationship with her even if it was my initial intention, ppl tend to do same thing over and over, once a cheater always a cheater, once a pedophile - always a pedophile, these are the kinds of things u get off at doing and then in the end it will burn ur ass or you will just need to do more and more of it until again u burn ur ass, bye.
Yea! Let him come to you! Remember Aries hates to be chased. We find it lame and pathetic in a way. We run a mile at the idea at someone being all desperate and love struck puppy dog on us. I am a big fan of Leo/Aries relationships and would like to hear it ended successfully.
From an Aries point of view, once hurt, we wouldn't trust that person again.
He put himself out there completely with you before and you just disappeared and all you sent was a text message. That must have stung for a while, especially since he was looking at getting serious with you. How would you react if someone did that to you? Would you trust that person with yourself again?
Yes, all you might need is one date with him to reconnect again. But that was before he learnt the painful lesson of how you are capable of hurting him.
I think he worked through you disappearing on him and got over you. When we get over someone, there's no goig back normally.
You'd really have to prove ur not going to hurt him again before he'd consider revealing that side of himself you love again.
To me: nobody sees the best of me because nobody has proved they deserve to see that side of me.
I think you should start slowly with small steps again and rebuild his trust from ground zero. And this can't be done on a romantic basis at first. You'll need to prove urself as a friend first.
Let us know how it goes. I really believe Leo and Aries are made for each other and hope you find a way to prove ur loyalty and trustworthy to him again.
From an Aries point of view, once hurt, we wouldn't trust that person again.
He put himself out there completely with you before and you just disappeared and all you sent was a text message. That must have stung for a while, especially since he was looking at getting serious with you. How would you react if someone did that to you? Would you trust that person with yourself again?
Yes, all you might need is one date with him to reconnect again. But that was before he learnt the painful lesson of how you are capable of hurting him.
I think he worked through you disappearing on him and got over you. When we get over someone, there's no goig back normally.
You'd really have to prove ur not going to hurt him again before he'd consider revealing that side of himself you love again.
To me: nobody sees the best of me because nobody has proved they deserve to see that side of me.
I think you should start slowly with small steps again and rebuild his trust from ground zero. And this can't be done on a romantic basis at first. You'll need to prove urself as a friend first.
Let us know how it goes. I really believe Leo and Aries are made for each other and hope you find a way to prove ur loyalty and trustworthy to him again.
He needs to know you're not going to do the same thing again. What happens if he lets you in again and you just take off again? There are no words on this planet that can convince someone who feels it might not be secure or safe to let someone in again. You really have to prove it with your actions.
And he might be avoiding you because he knows how great you two are together and he might be scared of getting sucked in again and get hurt again.
And he might be avoiding you because he knows how great you two are together and he might be scared of getting sucked in again and get hurt again.
his apart.
Posted by leolassie82
This time we met in person and he was very interested in me. However, I was in a committed relationship with someone overseas (and didn't tell him that) so carried on seeing him.
Uh, what? So you basically strung along someone who you knew you couldn't go anywhere with romantically? You wanted your cake and to eat it too? Yeah. No. I'm glad he's giving your selfish ass the runaround.
Eventually, my work permit did come through so the last thing I did before leaving was to send him a text saying —it has been really nice knowing you, hopefully we??ll get to meet again someday??. I went back to my boyfriend overseas and we lost touch.click to expand
Not only did you string him along, now you're just up and leaving and VIA TEXT, you think it's appropriate to bid him farewell. That's fucked up.
I wouldn't be surprised if he caught on to your bs when you just up and left and only had lack of decency to TEXT him a farewell, along with stringing him along while you were here.
Now YOU get the runaround. Not so fun, is it? He may or may not be doing it intentionally, but it appears that he's not as interested in you as before. You went and screwed it up with your selfish, stupid actions, and thought he would hand himself to you on a platter now that you were back.
Leave the guy alone. From what you've shown here, you need to back off and leave people alone until you get your shit together. How long was your relationship with the ex anyway? Have you taken any down time to recoup from that? Or are you doing the typical Leo relationship hopping because you guys are way too emotionally needy on others to make you happy?
Sorry to be so blunt, but I will never understand why Leo women are absolutely ridiculous things in dating and relating, and then they turn around with a blank look "I don't get why they're mad/acting weird and don't like me!!! Gee, I don't know, when you go around with absolute disregard to others' feelings it's bound to bite you in the ass one day. I can't believe you actually expect a relationship from someone you treated like crap in the very beginning.
Thanks for your responses guys, but I think i need to clarify a few things. Apologies for not being clear about this before. When I said i carried on seeing him, it was really only '2' dates we went out on. This is more like a cultural thing for us as I come from a different culture (although not everybody follows this) and when you see somebody you really like and consider marriage potential, you meet them a couple of times and then introduce your families to each other. Then you can keep seeing each other for another couple of months with family involvement to decide if you want to get married. He clearly respected me and was interested in me which is why he wanted to get to the point of involving our families. So 2 dates are hardly anything to get anyone 'hurt'. In all honesty, most people these days disappear after a couple of dates and you dont ever hear from them again. At least I had the courtesy of letting him know via text that I was going back but I hoped to see him again in the future. SO yeah, disappointed, I can understand. But hurt is a bit far fetched as you hardly develop any emotional development after seeing somebody twice and talking to them a few times.
With my bf overseas, it was a different scenario, because we were dating, and our families didn't get along we knew we were heading toward disaster. I needed an escape while I was away and I found it in this guy. However, with my work permit coming through, I wanted to give our relationship another shot (as I truly loved him and could never have hurt him by cheating on him like this). But only in a few months, all fell apart and we had to go our own separate ways. I spent 9 months grieving after that, having no contact with any man whatsoever. It's not hard for me to attract men and I did attract quite a few in that time period but I refused to go out with anyone as I needed to be alone and find happiness within. Now that I feel like I am ready to move on and have relocated back home, i have gotten in touch with this guy. So gap of 9, almost 10 months I think is quite a reasonsable to 'hop' from one relationship to another.
In all honesty, I am just intrigued by the challenge he's giving me which has piqued my interest in him even further. But I wanted to be clear as I don't want him to think I'm going to disappear on him again, he should know that I am serious and interested this time, so I sent him a text message going kind of like this
'.. Sorry if I'm bothe
With my bf overseas, it was a different scenario, because we were dating, and our families didn't get along we knew we were heading toward disaster. I needed an escape while I was away and I found it in this guy. However, with my work permit coming through, I wanted to give our relationship another shot (as I truly loved him and could never have hurt him by cheating on him like this). But only in a few months, all fell apart and we had to go our own separate ways. I spent 9 months grieving after that, having no contact with any man whatsoever. It's not hard for me to attract men and I did attract quite a few in that time period but I refused to go out with anyone as I needed to be alone and find happiness within. Now that I feel like I am ready to move on and have relocated back home, i have gotten in touch with this guy. So gap of 9, almost 10 months I think is quite a reasonsable to 'hop' from one relationship to another.
In all honesty, I am just intrigued by the challenge he's giving me which has piqued my interest in him even further. But I wanted to be clear as I don't want him to think I'm going to disappear on him again, he should know that I am serious and interested this time, so I sent him a text message going kind of like this
'.. Sorry if I'm bothe
'.. Sorry if I'm bothering you at work and I wanted to say this in person that I hope you're not holding anything against me b/c i decided to go back overseas last year. I wanted to see you again but my circumstances were different at the time... and I didn't want to suggest keeping in touch because we were still early and I wasn't sure if you would have wanted to. So I'm going to quit sending texts now bc this is making me incredibily uncomfortable but i only contacted you again upon coming back to see if you are willing to give this another shot to meet up again to see where things go. However, if you don't want to or have something else going on then I completely understand 🙂.. (and added something funny at the end)'
I can't sit around for 50 years and wait like a meek shy girl to see if he's going to come around as he may just have forgotten to call me (I know aries men are busy and have loads to do and he is no exception and I also know that he's a bit of an absent minded type) so it was important for me to send this message to see if he's still interested. If he's seeing somebody else and/or isn't interested then at least i'll have my answer if I don't hear back from him. But the fact that he's actually responded to my messages positively so far shows that there still may be a possibilty, so hey, I gave it another shot. If he calls me, then i'll know. If he doesn't, then I'll know as well. But I feel much better after sending this text.
So you don't want a relationship, you just want to conquer a challenge. A very bad basis to start a relationship.
Also, you can justify having an emotional affair all that you want, whether it's two or fifty dates. It says a lot about you if you see no problem in dating someone when you're in a committed relationship already. You sound like a very self centered individual because all of this has been about you.
But whatever. It won't matter what anyone tells you. You won't listen. Most of the Leo chicks that show up asking for relationship advice don't listen to what's being said and continue to go about acting like a nutter and justifying your ridiculous behavior.
Also, you can justify having an emotional affair all that you want, whether it's two or fifty dates. It says a lot about you if you see no problem in dating someone when you're in a committed relationship already. You sound like a very self centered individual because all of this has been about you.
But whatever. It won't matter what anyone tells you. You won't listen. Most of the Leo chicks that show up asking for relationship advice don't listen to what's being said and continue to go about acting like a nutter and justifying your ridiculous behavior.
I agree that what you have done by sending that text and being real is all you can and should do if you want to keep your pride. Like exactly how many times must we put ourselves out there to test the waters and feel the temperature to see if it's safe to proceed. I've just had the same thing happen with a cap. He started texting me first and we had a great convo at first, then I'd send him a message asking if he wanted to go for coffee or a drink on the weekend and no reply. When Sunday night rolled by and I still hadn't heard from him, I deleted his number and his chats and messages. Then the next day he'd pop up with an 'i was busy' excuse and asked me how I was doing. We'd chat and I'd be real everytime. Then I'd send another message inviting him to movies with his daughter because I was taking my niece. Again... No reply until Sunday night saying he was busy and be only got my text now. So I invites him to come to see batman with me on Tuesday night. Soooo predictable, no reply until Tuesday night saying 'I'm so sorry, I've been really busy" blah blah blah. I told him to lay it down straight and just be real with me. I asked him how he would handle the situation if he were me and I kept reacting how he has been to me and how he would deal with the situation. I told him I wasn't sure if I was just being sensitive and I should be more chilled because I can do that, but that I also wasn't sure if he was just trying to blow me off and I'm just not getting the hint. I asked him for honesty.
Predictably: I have not got a reply and I sent that message two days ago.
His ass is grass unless he brings his A game and starts being real with me. I'm over putting myself out there to get nothing in return. Three times is the limit!
All we can do now is see if they reply. If they do, cool... If not, then at least we know!
Stay strong and don't lose your self respect for this guy ok!
Predictably: I have not got a reply and I sent that message two days ago.
His ass is grass unless he brings his A game and starts being real with me. I'm over putting myself out there to get nothing in return. Three times is the limit!
All we can do now is see if they reply. If they do, cool... If not, then at least we know!
Stay strong and don't lose your self respect for this guy ok!
Posted by lotuslily
Yea! Let him come to you! Remember Aries hates to be chased. We find it lame and pathetic in a way. We run a mile at the idea at someone being all desperate and love struck puppy dog on us. I am a big fan of Leo/Aries relationships and would like to hear it ended successfully.
From an Aries point of view, once hurt, we wouldn't trust that person again.
He put himself out there completely with you before and you just disappeared and all you sent was a text message. That must have stung for a while, especially since he was looking at getting serious with you. How would you react if someone did that to you? Would you trust that person with yourself again?
You'd really have to prove ur not going to hurt him again before he'd consider revealing that side of himself you love again. YEP
To me: nobody sees the best of me because nobody has proved they deserve to see that side of me.
Let us know how it goes. I really believe Leo and Aries are made for each other and hope you find a way to prove ur loyalty and trustworthy to him again.
**I would rather be chased. Then I know the guy is serious. No stray puppy dogs though. Ewww.
Me too. When the girl does the chasing, it just leaves easy pickings for the guy and you may never have a good idea if he was truly interested or using you/stringing you along for his own gain. Guys are also good at playing games to get nookie. Guys tend to have more of a shady ulterior motive, so when some girl throws herself at him, some guys just take advantage of that and toss her aside when he's gotten what he wants. Not all do this, but it does happen.
When they chase, you know they're at least somewhat interested and you can take it a tad more seriously. Depends on the guy though. Some, you do have to keep an eye on and just pick up on the telltale signs if he's truly interested or not.
...like keeping plans.
Or responding when you call/text/email.
Or initiating contact.
Not giving you the runaround.
...much like this guy isn't doing. HMM. Funny how that works.
When they chase, you know they're at least somewhat interested and you can take it a tad more seriously. Depends on the guy though. Some, you do have to keep an eye on and just pick up on the telltale signs if he's truly interested or not.
...like keeping plans.
Or responding when you call/text/email.
Or initiating contact.
Not giving you the runaround.
...much like this guy isn't doing. HMM. Funny how that works.
yo momma
The night I met the cap, the entire thing started through familiarity and having seen each other around before. He was walking by and greeted me, asked how I am, introduced himself and we proceeded to get along so nicely. We really enjoyed each others company. Then we were dancing and he told me he thinks I'm sexy but that he is not easy and he wants to take me out to dinner first, but only if I promise to be real and be myself because he really enjoyed my company. He took my phone number and said he would be in contact. He contacted me the next week. We had a great convo.
He said he lives in the same town as my parents and I normally spend weekends at my parents. So next time I was headed to my parents, I sent him a message asking if he was keen to go for coffee. No reply. Then like two days later, he responded saying he had a busy weekend and that his phone was acting up. I deleted him straight away as mentioned before. Then later that week he popped up again asking how I am and all that. Chatted and was cool. Then I invited him to movies with he children. Nothing until after saying he was busy and he hoped I had fun. Then I say batman is on (we had spoken about it before) and asked him on Sunday night if he wanted to come see it with me. Only replied on tuesday night saying "I'm so sorry, things have been really hectic, I found out yesterday I have an interview tomorrow so I have been preparing for that,"
That's when I sent that message asking him to be real with me. At first after he got back to me after I deleted him I thought ok, maybe he was being real. Then the second time I tried to be understanding, third time I thought he was being full of shit and told him to lay it down straight or sod off.
Looks like he's decided to sod off.
Apparently caps are famous for dragging ass about romantic prospects... I can see how it would have Aries dying inside with impatience! If he would just tell it like it is, like I have with him, at least I'd know where I stand. But apparently caps aren't very good at doing that With new people either!
Anyway! Sorry for poaching ur post Leo lady! Didn't mean to make it all about me in your thread.
He said he lives in the same town as my parents and I normally spend weekends at my parents. So next time I was headed to my parents, I sent him a message asking if he was keen to go for coffee. No reply. Then like two days later, he responded saying he had a busy weekend and that his phone was acting up. I deleted him straight away as mentioned before. Then later that week he popped up again asking how I am and all that. Chatted and was cool. Then I invited him to movies with he children. Nothing until after saying he was busy and he hoped I had fun. Then I say batman is on (we had spoken about it before) and asked him on Sunday night if he wanted to come see it with me. Only replied on tuesday night saying "I'm so sorry, things have been really hectic, I found out yesterday I have an interview tomorrow so I have been preparing for that,"
That's when I sent that message asking him to be real with me. At first after he got back to me after I deleted him I thought ok, maybe he was being real. Then the second time I tried to be understanding, third time I thought he was being full of shit and told him to lay it down straight or sod off.
Looks like he's decided to sod off.
Apparently caps are famous for dragging ass about romantic prospects... I can see how it would have Aries dying inside with impatience! If he would just tell it like it is, like I have with him, at least I'd know where I stand. But apparently caps aren't very good at doing that With new people either!
Anyway! Sorry for poaching ur post Leo lady! Didn't mean to make it all about me in your thread.
Lotuslilly, yes I think you should stop sending him messages now. Guys that say they will call or do something with you and then don't follow through really turn me off. He may get in touch with you perhaps at sometime in the future, and you never know, he may be busy right now at it seems like he has a lot going on. I would say just give yourself a break from him and definitely delete his number, if you haven't already.
I like being chased, and in all my relationships, I have always been pursued by the guy. I was with my ex for over a year and we had the most wonderful relationship together. He was crazy about me, and I loved him to bits. But I hardly ever called him, while he used to call me for at least an hour every single day before going to bed and send me emails at work all day long. I feel sad I've lost what I had with him, he was my best buddy and I don't know if I'll ever have that with anyone again. 😢
Rockyroad - I think you've had some really bitter experiences with Leo girls because there's a lot of bitterness in your messages. Please don't generalize because not everyone is the same. Ask yourself, if you went on two dates with a girl and you decided you were no longer interested in her, would you actually call her and tell her 'Hey I think you're a nice girl but I dont think we're right for each other'. I'm sorry, but I live in this world too. People dont even do that these days even they've been in a relationship for years. They just walk out and that's that.
So regarding this aries guy, I have a gut feeling that he will call me at some point because I mean come on, why else would have responded to my messages earlier and called me and asked me out if he wasnt interested. I think he's just playing a tad bit of a game. Also, he works like insane hours for a month and is off for a month. I know this is his working month right now so that must be a cause of the delay as well. And its not even like I asked him out in that text, it was more like, look I am interested in meeting you, but the ball is in your court i.e. if you're willing to give this a shot. If you're seeing somebody else, or don't want to see me, then that's okay, i understand. I don't really call that chasing. It's more like being honest, and there's a fine line between the two. In all honesty, if he is serious with somebody else, then he should at least have the courtesy to call text me and let me know that
I like being chased, and in all my relationships, I have always been pursued by the guy. I was with my ex for over a year and we had the most wonderful relationship together. He was crazy about me, and I loved him to bits. But I hardly ever called him, while he used to call me for at least an hour every single day before going to bed and send me emails at work all day long. I feel sad I've lost what I had with him, he was my best buddy and I don't know if I'll ever have that with anyone again. 😢
Rockyroad - I think you've had some really bitter experiences with Leo girls because there's a lot of bitterness in your messages. Please don't generalize because not everyone is the same. Ask yourself, if you went on two dates with a girl and you decided you were no longer interested in her, would you actually call her and tell her 'Hey I think you're a nice girl but I dont think we're right for each other'. I'm sorry, but I live in this world too. People dont even do that these days even they've been in a relationship for years. They just walk out and that's that.
So regarding this aries guy, I have a gut feeling that he will call me at some point because I mean come on, why else would have responded to my messages earlier and called me and asked me out if he wasnt interested. I think he's just playing a tad bit of a game. Also, he works like insane hours for a month and is off for a month. I know this is his working month right now so that must be a cause of the delay as well. And its not even like I asked him out in that text, it was more like, look I am interested in meeting you, but the ball is in your court i.e. if you're willing to give this a shot. If you're seeing somebody else, or don't want to see me, then that's okay, i understand. I don't really call that chasing. It's more like being honest, and there's a fine line between the two. In all honesty, if he is serious with somebody else, then he should at least have the courtesy to call text me and let me know that
he's seeing somebody rather than leave me wondering. But he hasn't done that, so i'm gonna give myself the benefit of the doubt and hope he isnt involved with somebody else. He will call me, yes he will, Lotuslilly you should do the same for your cap 🙂
Not bitter, just observations from way too many Leo females. You lot can be utterly ridiculous in relationships and in regard to others and make females overall look bad. You want him to have the decency to return your phone call, but you didn't even have the decency to tell him face to face that you were leaving and going back to the life that you had with the boyfriend that you emotionally cheated on. You did it via text, which isn't very respectable, especially since you knew how he felt. It's okay for you to up and walk out with a callus text, but man, if he can't call you back to tell you to fuck off, omg, end of the world! Double standard much?
The fact that you can't even take responsibility for what you've done wrong here- just made excuses why it was okay, says a lot about you.
You also must not be very perceptive to how guys work anymore. They don't like hurting feelings so they go about it in the avoidant way, which is how this guy is coming across as. If he were truly interested, you would have heard from him by now, busy or not. A truly interested guy will find the time to get in touch with you. I don't even really think you're all that interested. You're chasing after someone to boost that bruised ego, someone whom you see as a challenge, not a person. You say he's playing games, but you're just as guilty here.
The fact that you can't even take responsibility for what you've done wrong here- just made excuses why it was okay, says a lot about you.
You also must not be very perceptive to how guys work anymore. They don't like hurting feelings so they go about it in the avoidant way, which is how this guy is coming across as. If he were truly interested, you would have heard from him by now, busy or not. A truly interested guy will find the time to get in touch with you. I don't even really think you're all that interested. You're chasing after someone to boost that bruised ego, someone whom you see as a challenge, not a person. You say he's playing games, but you're just as guilty here.
Ummm not sure I agree with above...an interested guy getting in touch etc..everyone always says that and sometimes they
might be skittish, shy, don't want to scare us, don't want to be pushy, they might be playing it cool too, hard to get, think outside the box ladies...
A girl I work with said her boyfriend would not even use the word "date" because he was afraid of the word!! And just heard of another guy deliberately hiding that he was into a girl becasue he did not want to "scare her"
And one guy told me once..."I let the woman take the lead" so there goes the theory that they always need to make the moves....
PLEASE TRY TO REMEMBER THEY DO NOT THINK THEY WAY WE DO...MAYBE SOME THINGS, BUT NOT ALWAYS.. DON'T THINK WHEN THAY ACT A CERTAIN WAY THAT'S IT'S WHAT YOU ASSUME...
1. Men just are not communicaters like we are...here's a man's mind..
"Umm gee I really should call her tonight...or should I have a sub sandwich instead and watch sports? Maybe I'll go for a run, or play some basketball or go to the bar for a beer"
They most likely are interested and this stuff about not calling cause they are not interested is not the case (sometimes)what we do is overthink it, they don't. Women love to talk...men like quiet, notice how short their texts usually are...they do not communicate as much!!! Its hard for females to understand because we DO communicate. They are wired differently than we are so we should not make assumptions because we have not heard from them...
That's why this is a bad place to come to for love advice...way toooo many assumptions...w/o anyone really knowing the whole story.
2. As for the ghosting that some do...here's what I think may be going on with a man's mind..."oh its not neccesary to say anything, it's not like we were married or anything"...men do not think SENSITIVELY(for the most part) they think practical...or they think, "Well maybe I don't want to close the door on this one", so they leave it open by not saying sayonara. Or they just don't think it's neccessary!! But we do...there's the difference.
might be skittish, shy, don't want to scare us, don't want to be pushy, they might be playing it cool too, hard to get, think outside the box ladies...
A girl I work with said her boyfriend would not even use the word "date" because he was afraid of the word!! And just heard of another guy deliberately hiding that he was into a girl becasue he did not want to "scare her"
And one guy told me once..."I let the woman take the lead" so there goes the theory that they always need to make the moves....
PLEASE TRY TO REMEMBER THEY DO NOT THINK THEY WAY WE DO...MAYBE SOME THINGS, BUT NOT ALWAYS.. DON'T THINK WHEN THAY ACT A CERTAIN WAY THAT'S IT'S WHAT YOU ASSUME...
1. Men just are not communicaters like we are...here's a man's mind..
"Umm gee I really should call her tonight...or should I have a sub sandwich instead and watch sports? Maybe I'll go for a run, or play some basketball or go to the bar for a beer"
They most likely are interested and this stuff about not calling cause they are not interested is not the case (sometimes)what we do is overthink it, they don't. Women love to talk...men like quiet, notice how short their texts usually are...they do not communicate as much!!! Its hard for females to understand because we DO communicate. They are wired differently than we are so we should not make assumptions because we have not heard from them...
That's why this is a bad place to come to for love advice...way toooo many assumptions...w/o anyone really knowing the whole story.
2. As for the ghosting that some do...here's what I think may be going on with a man's mind..."oh its not neccesary to say anything, it's not like we were married or anything"...men do not think SENSITIVELY(for the most part) they think practical...or they think, "Well maybe I don't want to close the door on this one", so they leave it open by not saying sayonara. Or they just don't think it's neccessary!! But we do...there's the difference.
^ A typical female's take on the male mind. ...usually wrong.
No offense, but while there are shy guys out there- if you talk to guys, they'll tell you that they go after what they want, even if they ARE shy. They may do it inadvertently, but they're still chasing you in some way, shape, or form.
This guy is showing signs of no interest. If he does come back around, it'll only be for one thing. Sorry.
Btw, that whole "OH HE'S JUST SHY, YOU DO ALL THE WORK FOR HIM!!" is such a chick flick approach to life. Media is to blame for leading females to believe all this dumb ass grey area exists with guys.
Even if they are shy, you can still tell if they're semi interested or not. It may be some strange behavior, but even that's an indicator of some sort of feelings there. If a guy isn't interested in you, he isn't doing much of anything. ...again, much like this guy is doing.
It appears that she blew it by being a cocktease. If it's something Aries hates- it's this bs.
Might I add, even if the guy truly were interested, he's going about it immaturely. Why would you want to be with someone like that??
No offense, but while there are shy guys out there- if you talk to guys, they'll tell you that they go after what they want, even if they ARE shy. They may do it inadvertently, but they're still chasing you in some way, shape, or form.
This guy is showing signs of no interest. If he does come back around, it'll only be for one thing. Sorry.
Btw, that whole "OH HE'S JUST SHY, YOU DO ALL THE WORK FOR HIM!!" is such a chick flick approach to life. Media is to blame for leading females to believe all this dumb ass grey area exists with guys.
Even if they are shy, you can still tell if they're semi interested or not. It may be some strange behavior, but even that's an indicator of some sort of feelings there. If a guy isn't interested in you, he isn't doing much of anything. ...again, much like this guy is doing.
It appears that she blew it by being a cocktease. If it's something Aries hates- it's this bs.
Might I add, even if the guy truly were interested, he's going about it immaturely. Why would you want to be with someone like that??
Oh I knew you would get the wrong idea by my post again. It's not "shy" that I am talking about here. And yes men are shy sometimes. Just like women.
Gee that's funny because the guy that I quoted above deliberately held his feelings from the girl he liked, so how is that going after what they want? I still think that's bull. Maybe the pushy type of guy, but not your insecure, quiet types.
And actually everything above came directly from the horses mouth...men. Not the typical females take.
As a woman would you chase or go after someone that was giving you a chilly vibe? Even if you felt strongly about her? NO!
(I am not talking about the poster here I am talking about men in general.)Then a guy isn't going to do that either.
One more reason they don't always pursue someone they like or are slowly cautious...the fear of getting shut down by us.
My guy friends tell me they love it when a woman calls them. All I am trying to say is for the 100th time...men think differently than we ASSUME they do..
For instance...I always "assumed" most guys liked big b**bs...but the more I talk to men and hear things etc. most of them say, "I like everything in proportion." Or they hate fake b**bs. Yes there are the few that really do, but in "general" most of them like legs or butts or whatever...so my point is I was assuming thats what they all like and they all don't.
No one here is making excuses for bad male behaviour..it's just that what we women think/assume is not always the case with them. Just try to remember "Could it be something else?" Give them the benefit of the doubt..and if you eventually see some genuine jerky behaviour..then be prepared to address it.
Not true about the coming back for one thing either...guy I work with (Andy) had issues with someone he was into...I guess she acted not interested..but she came back to him he said she was the one that kept coming back and he knew she was genuinely sorry and WAS really into him this time...now they are happily married. He said if it hadn't been for her aggressively trying to work it out they never would have made it work. He did not go back to her for "one thing"
Not all men are as rotten as you perceive them to be!!
Lotus...you are right there is a lot of bitterness in her posts. Yes she does generalize..not everyone is the same...TRUE,
EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT.
This sending a message...then don't send a message stuff is game playing. Just do what feels right in y
Gee that's funny because the guy that I quoted above deliberately held his feelings from the girl he liked, so how is that going after what they want? I still think that's bull. Maybe the pushy type of guy, but not your insecure, quiet types.
And actually everything above came directly from the horses mouth...men. Not the typical females take.
As a woman would you chase or go after someone that was giving you a chilly vibe? Even if you felt strongly about her? NO!
(I am not talking about the poster here I am talking about men in general.)Then a guy isn't going to do that either.
One more reason they don't always pursue someone they like or are slowly cautious...the fear of getting shut down by us.
My guy friends tell me they love it when a woman calls them. All I am trying to say is for the 100th time...men think differently than we ASSUME they do..
For instance...I always "assumed" most guys liked big b**bs...but the more I talk to men and hear things etc. most of them say, "I like everything in proportion." Or they hate fake b**bs. Yes there are the few that really do, but in "general" most of them like legs or butts or whatever...so my point is I was assuming thats what they all like and they all don't.
No one here is making excuses for bad male behaviour..it's just that what we women think/assume is not always the case with them. Just try to remember "Could it be something else?" Give them the benefit of the doubt..and if you eventually see some genuine jerky behaviour..then be prepared to address it.
Not true about the coming back for one thing either...guy I work with (Andy) had issues with someone he was into...I guess she acted not interested..but she came back to him he said she was the one that kept coming back and he knew she was genuinely sorry and WAS really into him this time...now they are happily married. He said if it hadn't been for her aggressively trying to work it out they never would have made it work. He did not go back to her for "one thing"
Not all men are as rotten as you perceive them to be!!
Lotus...you are right there is a lot of bitterness in her posts. Yes she does generalize..not everyone is the same...TRUE,
EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT.
This sending a message...then don't send a message stuff is game playing. Just do what feels right in y
your gut.
I really don't think there are "rules" some couples I know are together because the woman showed the interest, in fact its my son and his gf...she went after him and made the first move. He wasn't taking the action because he thought she would shoot him down.
So see Ice cream person...every scenario is different.
I have to re-read the poster's story...it sounded like he was interested at first...
I really don't think there are "rules" some couples I know are together because the woman showed the interest, in fact its my son and his gf...she went after him and made the first move. He wasn't taking the action because he thought she would shoot him down.
So see Ice cream person...every scenario is different.
I have to re-read the poster's story...it sounded like he was interested at first...
One more comment..LastingForever has the right idea...she gets it.
A Guy posted something here and everyone by passed it. No he is not wrapped to tight but he is a Guy.
Its not about the Aries dude. Its about the OP she is not happy with the way things are. So if she is constantly going after him and she is unhappy doing it then she needs to change to feel and be happy. If she is happy doing it and have hope then who are we to take that away from her.
Thanks sunshine for being so realistic in your posts. You sound like a very sensible person. This rocky road dude almost made me cry with his post this morning. So this was interested in me when we met over a year ago but I was working overseas at the time and had to go back. So I got back on touch with him after moving back and he called me and asked if he could see me but I was busy that night. He asked me lots of qs like where I was living, if I was still driving the same car, when did I come back, and that it was about time I had come back! This doesn't sound like something coming from someone who is bitter and angry. Since I couldnt go out with him that night, he said he would call me back later to reschedule and the bottom line is that he hasn't yet and that's why I sent him the text above. I sincerely believe he's going to come around at some point. He obviously doesn't see me as a priority right now, and why should he, it's not like we're in a relationship.
I called one of my close childhood friends the other day and he sAid, let's meet over the wknd. I will call u later this week to fix a day and time. Has he called yet? No. He's a bloke, he must have forgotten. I'm going to sit and analyze why he hasn't called me yet because that would be silly. But I am starting to see a typical male behavorial pattern here as u mention in your posts. Their brains are wired differently.
I called one of my close childhood friends the other day and he sAid, let's meet over the wknd. I will call u later this week to fix a day and time. Has he called yet? No. He's a bloke, he must have forgotten. I'm going to sit and analyze why he hasn't called me yet because that would be silly. But I am starting to see a typical male behavorial pattern here as u mention in your posts. Their brains are wired differently.
Do if this Aries dude doesn't call me, it can mean two things. He's seriously involved with somebody else right now and had just called me out of curiosity. Or, he's kind of involved with somebody and doesn't want to close the door on me , hence the silence. Anyhow, im going to stop
Sitting around wondering why he isn't calling. If he doesn't, then honestly, his loss. If he does, then I'll make him feel like the luckiest man on the planet 😉
Sitting around wondering why he isn't calling. If he doesn't, then honestly, his loss. If he does, then I'll make him feel like the luckiest man on the planet 😉
Posted by sunshine222
Oh I knew you would get the wrong idea by my post again.
It's called "enabling" which is what you're guilty of each time I see you post about this type ofs tuff. It's what you did with the nutcase Aqua in the other thread. ....who has continued to show just how crazy she is. How about you try not to be such a space cadet and keep it real, kay? It really doesn't help anyone in the long haul to coddle their bs all for the sake of making them feel better about what they're doing wrong in a situation. It stops being advice at that point and just becomes downright destructive.
That fucking Capricorn sent me a message on Friday after I deleted his number on Tuesday. It said: "hey, how are you? Hope you're having an awesome Friday. With regards to your message: why don't we be friends?" Then he apologised again for getting back to me so late (3 days!) saying he has had so much on the go lately.
Like wtf? I've been inviting him out so we can get to know each other better and either be friends or see if there's something more later on when we know each other better.
That's as straight as he laid it down for me after I told him to start being real with me on Tuesday after he declined my invitation for the third time.
I have deleted his message again so I don't have access to his number and make a further fool of myself by looking like I'm chasing him.
He wants something... I just can't figure out what! It sure as shit ain't sex though!
Like wtf? I've been inviting him out so we can get to know each other better and either be friends or see if there's something more later on when we know each other better.
That's as straight as he laid it down for me after I told him to start being real with me on Tuesday after he declined my invitation for the third time.
I have deleted his message again so I don't have access to his number and make a further fool of myself by looking like I'm chasing him.
He wants something... I just can't figure out what! It sure as shit ain't sex though!
Yeah men are weird. Wish I could figure them out. At least this cap had the courtesy to respond to your text. This Aries didn't even have the courtesy to respond to mine. If he's freakin seeing somebody or too busy how long does it take to respond to a text. 2 mins, max? I mean what's happened to common courtesy these days. I'm really fuming right now. I feel like sending him a similar text to yours. So arent you even going to consider being friends with this guy? I'm sure it's not just sex he's looking for if he wants to be just friends right? I would say if u really like him then give him a shot just as friends but let him take the lead this time. It may lead to something meaningful once u guys get to know each other better. If u just ignore his text he'll just take that as a no. What should I do about this aries? 😢 I would really appreciate a response to my text even if it's a no. At least I'll know this way.
Yeah, I don't mind being his friend, but clearly me inviting him out makes him and I both feel like I'm chasing him. And at this point I definitely think he doesn't want even sex from me. I wish it were that simple! I know how to deal with those guys! I don't know how to deal with guys who don't want sex. Feels weird and unnatural in a way! Haha... On the other hand, if caps really are traditional then maybe he genuinely is interested in getting to know me as a friend first. Some of the cap descriptions I read said caps sometimes like to make potential prospects friends first!
As for your Aries! Girl... From a female Aries POV, I'd say back off a while and try again in like a month or so when he has relaxed a bit about the whole situation. We don't like to be chased remember? I think Leo's are a lot more tolerant of being chased. They love the attention and the admiration...
Aries wants to head for the hills at the thought of a love sick puppy dog who waits at the door and lifts his head in hope it's master every time someone knocks on the door.
I used to be crazy about this sag until he started chasing me and telling me he wanted to be with me forever! I literally felt myself back tracking and starting to hyperventilate. I was 'outta there' so quickly... Poor guy. He was hurt for a while but he didn't hold a grudge and today he and I are still great friends. Took him a little while to get over it... But he did.
I think Aries would be the same. Once they relaxed and were 'over' the situation, we have no problem getting on with a friendship.
I think that's why I'm still deleting caps messages each time he sends... Because a part of me still wants to be physical with him and have his attention. Until I'm over that, I need to back off until I'm over wanting him and can be comfortable friends when I'm more relaxed with him.
I say ask the Aries straight out. Be frank and straight forward about what it is you want from him and ask him to extend you the same courtesy. Aries and Leo communicate really well.
If I really want to get this Leo guy I know to cooperate with me and put ego aside, at some point I throw in some stuff about how I could expect there to be world peace when I can't even put my ego aside for something so tiny in the grand scheme of things... Works every time! I don't even have to ask him to put his aside, he just does it on his own. Apparently (stereotypically) Leo and Aries do want to help make the world a better place.
As for your Aries! Girl... From a female Aries POV, I'd say back off a while and try again in like a month or so when he has relaxed a bit about the whole situation. We don't like to be chased remember? I think Leo's are a lot more tolerant of being chased. They love the attention and the admiration...
Aries wants to head for the hills at the thought of a love sick puppy dog who waits at the door and lifts his head in hope it's master every time someone knocks on the door.
I used to be crazy about this sag until he started chasing me and telling me he wanted to be with me forever! I literally felt myself back tracking and starting to hyperventilate. I was 'outta there' so quickly... Poor guy. He was hurt for a while but he didn't hold a grudge and today he and I are still great friends. Took him a little while to get over it... But he did.
I think Aries would be the same. Once they relaxed and were 'over' the situation, we have no problem getting on with a friendship.
I think that's why I'm still deleting caps messages each time he sends... Because a part of me still wants to be physical with him and have his attention. Until I'm over that, I need to back off until I'm over wanting him and can be comfortable friends when I'm more relaxed with him.
I say ask the Aries straight out. Be frank and straight forward about what it is you want from him and ask him to extend you the same courtesy. Aries and Leo communicate really well.
If I really want to get this Leo guy I know to cooperate with me and put ego aside, at some point I throw in some stuff about how I could expect there to be world peace when I can't even put my ego aside for something so tiny in the grand scheme of things... Works every time! I don't even have to ask him to put his aside, he just does it on his own. Apparently (stereotypically) Leo and Aries do want to help make the world a better place.
Capricornmoon, this aries guy wasn't crazy about me. My ex was crazy about me and that's why i went back to him. I have no regrets but I spent the best times of my life with him. This guy had only met me twice and he was talking about marriage (i.e. sending his parents to my house) but at the same time he said 'don't expect anything to happen' and I was thinking in my head, then why should i get my family involved when you are telling me to not expect anything to happen. In my culture, families have a big say in marriages, but he should have at least gotten to know me first. He doesn't know me AT ALL, and in all honesty, I don't know him. He has no feelings for me. So there's no question of feelings being hurt here. This marriage thing is almost like a business contract sometimes. It's not always about love to begin with, but love can develop slowly afterwards. 6 years ago, when we used to talk online, he's the one that disappeared on me. When he contacted to me again 5 years later, I wasn't offended. I was happy to hear from him. Now that I've contacted him a year later, why should he be offended? That just sounds wrong!
Lotuslily, chasing this guy (or any guy in general) is the last thing I aspire to do. But his non-response to my text message is seriously pissing me off. I like quick answers, and if it has to end here, then I like for things to end properly, not with ignored text messages and phone calls where you are left wondering. If he's going to reject me, I can take it. I'm a big girl. At the same time, I don't want to say something I may regret later on. I have read and re-read that message over and over again and no where does it indicate anything about chasing. I have only asked him straight up if he's willing to give this another shot to meet up again to see where things go. Do you really classify this as 'chasing'. I going to wait a couple of weeks and then I think I want to send something like this:
Lotuslily, chasing this guy (or any guy in general) is the last thing I aspire to do. But his non-response to my text message is seriously pissing me off. I like quick answers, and if it has to end here, then I like for things to end properly, not with ignored text messages and phone calls where you are left wondering. If he's going to reject me, I can take it. I'm a big girl. At the same time, I don't want to say something I may regret later on. I have read and re-read that message over and over again and no where does it indicate anything about chasing. I have only asked him straight up if he's willing to give this another shot to meet up again to see where things go. Do you really classify this as 'chasing'. I going to wait a couple of weeks and then I think I want to send something like this:
Well I've thought of 2 options. Option no. 1:
'Hello there, just wondering if you got the text I sent you a couple of weeks ago or if you??re just deliberately choosing to ignore it? I would have appreciated at least some sort of response.
I'm sorry but I'm feeling quite miffed right now esp since I have a really good image of you from last year. I didn't think it as a big deal when you didn't follow through on calling me, twice, because I figured you must have a million things to do and might have just forgotten, but it takes 2 secs to write a text, no? I feel a tad bit insulted so not sure if I want to talk to you again. Sorry 😢
Option no. 2
'Hey, what's up, where are you these days? I thought you were going to call me like a century ago. Did you get my last text as I haven't heard from you at all. Hope everything's OK? I would certainly appreciate some kind of response - and don't worry, I'm a big girl so can take a no :-).'
I think the second one sounds less menacing but still getting the polnt across, but could use second opinion.
@lotuslily, about your CAP, yes i know from experience caps like to focus on friendships first. That's not a bad thing. If you feel like you're really attracted to him and can't be friends at this time, then wait a month or two and then contact him. I'm sure you'll feel better by then 🙂
'Hello there, just wondering if you got the text I sent you a couple of weeks ago or if you??re just deliberately choosing to ignore it? I would have appreciated at least some sort of response.
I'm sorry but I'm feeling quite miffed right now esp since I have a really good image of you from last year. I didn't think it as a big deal when you didn't follow through on calling me, twice, because I figured you must have a million things to do and might have just forgotten, but it takes 2 secs to write a text, no? I feel a tad bit insulted so not sure if I want to talk to you again. Sorry 😢
Option no. 2
'Hey, what's up, where are you these days? I thought you were going to call me like a century ago. Did you get my last text as I haven't heard from you at all. Hope everything's OK? I would certainly appreciate some kind of response - and don't worry, I'm a big girl so can take a no :-).'
I think the second one sounds less menacing but still getting the polnt across, but could use second opinion.
@lotuslily, about your CAP, yes i know from experience caps like to focus on friendships first. That's not a bad thing. If you feel like you're really attracted to him and can't be friends at this time, then wait a month or two and then contact him. I'm sure you'll feel better by then 🙂
Option 3-
Don't send another text. You're going to look a little crazy.
It probably IS sex. I had a Cap friend work on me for 5-6 months under the facade of "friendship" and as soon as he got what he wanted, he totally changed on me. Remember, they're slow to do anything sometimes, and as odd as it sounds, I really wouldn't be surprised if sex was the case here.
Either that or he's totally content with just being friends...?
Don't send another text. You're going to look a little crazy.
Posted by lotuslily
He wants something... I just can't figure out what! It sure as shit ain't sex though!
It probably IS sex. I had a Cap friend work on me for 5-6 months under the facade of "friendship" and as soon as he got what he wanted, he totally changed on me. Remember, they're slow to do anything sometimes, and as odd as it sounds, I really wouldn't be surprised if sex was the case here.
Either that or he's totally content with just being friends...?
Posted by leolassie82
Well I've thought of 2 options. Option no. 1:
'Hello there, just wondering if you got the text I sent you a couple of weeks ago or if you??re just deliberately choosing to ignore it? I would have appreciated at least some sort of response.
I'm sorry but I'm feeling quite miffed right now esp since I have a really good image of you from last year. I didn't think it as a big deal when you didn't follow through on calling me, twice, because I figured you must have a million things to do and might have just forgotten, but it takes 2 secs to write a text, no? I feel a tad bit insulted so not sure if I want to talk to you again. Sorry 😢
Option no. 2
'Hey, what's up, where are you these days? I thought you were going to call me like a century ago. Did you get my last text as I haven't heard from you at all. Hope everything's OK? I would certainly appreciate some kind of response - and don't worry, I'm a big girl so can take a no :-).'
I think the second one sounds less menacing but still getting the polnt across, but could use second opinion.
blockquote>
Do Not Send either of these texts, in fact don't send any at all. They are both screaming desparation and they are both accusing and demanding. He didn't respond to your first text, following up just makes you look crazy and desparate no matter how you word it - find your pride leo lady.
You're totally right. I've had a good think about this today and have reached the same conclusion. I'm not sending any more texts. It's saiyonara from my end. If I hear from him again in the future, then thats a different thing but I'm not making anymore contact from my end. He should have gotten the message by now that I'm interested this time so I don't need to constantly remind him of my existence. This really isn't worth my time.
It's kinda like Murphy's Law anyway. The second you back off/start to lose interest because of their disinterest, they decide to come back around anyway. :p
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