Aries Input please

ok i'm guna tell u my delimma and i want to know as an aries what ur opinion is:
ok he's aries sun- pisces moon and i'm cancer sun-leo moon

he told me that he had told her not to email him and call and stuff cus he didn't want her to interfere with our new relationship - he told her he was happy and didn't want to screw this up.
so he had broke up with his ex and months after she asks him for a stuff animal she gave to him yrs ago - it was something her grandmother had given to her - anyway lately she asked him for it back and he never said it bothered him to me but i found out he emailed her about it -even tho he told her to stay out of our lives he made contact with her. she emailed back sayin she was sorry and a whole bunch of shit bout how she loved him and always will and blah blah - my question here is why did it bother him if he said he was over her—? or are some ppl jus like where askin for something back bothers them—

also i asked why it bothered him - he said cus stuff like that gets to him cus he never asked her for stuff back - so i told him that the stuffed animal meant alot to her that's y she wanted it back - but he still said she shouldn't have given it to him then - anyway so i said well why did u give her stuff that meant something to you - he said yea so i said "like what?" - he said "none of ur business" i should mention he was angry at the time for me even being bothered by his email to her. i feel that if he was over her he'd have no problem tellin me what he gave to her. that's my second point.

third point i'm a little embarrassed but at one time i told him bout an email my ex emailed me bout how he needed someone to talk to - i had been ignoring my ex for weeks - i asked my bf "if ur ex emailed u about needing someone to talk to would u" - he said no and that the only reason i asked him that question was because it seemed like i was weak and wanted to talk to my ex - so my bf asked to read the email which i let him cus i figured i got nothing to hide. he read it and then hit reply "i was like what u doin" - he emailed my ex back and told him to "F off and that to stop with his sorry a $ $ stories" - it didn't bug me that my bf emailed me ex cus my ex and i are done so whatever - now weeks later his email emailed him and i go upset and said "we let me tell her to F off then like u did with my ex" - my bf got upset and said no - so i ask u now - am i lookin into this too much - did he say no because he cares bout her

or did he think i was tryin to control shit—— i don't know what to do - after that convo i told him i had to go and didn't let him talk i jus said have a goodnite and hung up - now after 3 days of not callin each other - he called me at 3am- i asked how he was and what he did today ALOT- he said u really wanna know about tonight? i said yea- he said "tonight i had two girls alll over me and touchin me (jus his head and chest) and they both wanted to F me but all i kept thinkin was about u - if i wanted to F them i could have" then he ran on bout how i know that i'm a good lookin woman and i think my Shh don't stink and i think that because of that i think that i got control over him - then he repaeated that he could have had those girls if he had wanted to - i obviously busrt into tears - anyway he said he talked to two married women he knew and they told him i was immature to freak out over the stuff animal - but i doubt he even told them the other stuff - i'm losing my mind

did i mention this is long distance relationship? he said that he loved me so much but right now we're at a point where he doens't give a shit - see guys one thing he doens't like me sayin is "if u do it remmeber i can do it too" - he's double standard - is this an aries thing—?? he does stuff to me and then i say "waht if i had done that" he gets all defensive and says "oh so u think that u shud do stuff if i do it - feels like if i cheated on u then u wud do it to me too" man i frustrated!!!!

my feelings are strong for him

"so i ask u now - am i lookin into this too much"


From what I gather from your post .. your focus is on how you feel, and how is suppose to feel according to you .. maybe that's an area that needs addressing, if this partnership is going to have a chance at success.

Secondly, if he didn't tell you about the emails between him and his ex .. how did you know? Did you invade his privacy?

Everytime he expresses that he feels .. you ask him "why", then proceed to tell him how he is suppose or not suppose to feel.

I'm not an Aries .. but, I have close people in my life who are .. and I know that they cherish people who walk "with" them, rather than against them .. where is your place on the road with him?

Can you see him?

You have walk "with" him, cancer12 .. not in front of him, all the while, telling him how to walk behind you.

thanx p-angel - about the email thing - when my ex emailed me after readin the email my bf asked to read it - so he went into my email and read it and emailed my ex from thhere makin it seem like i was the one that said F off - so the thing is (which i realise i shud have never allowed) is that we both know each other's email - and yes i went into his - i admit that was wrong of me -

p-angel i'm not doubting that i may be seeing this from "how i feel n how it affects me" but he seems to think that if he does someething i shud accept it - i'm jus afriad to let him walk all over me - i jus need to know how to talk to him - i told him i feel like we're both tryin to be in control and i feel we shud share the control - i don't know what to do - i just wish i could get across to him and vice versa

It's not likely that you'll gain any control over him .. there's another person who comes in here, her sun is different from yours, who has this same control issue problem.

So long as the struggle is over who has control .. there will be no resolution. Once the realization hits that it's NOT about control, at all .. a union can be formed.

How to do this with the Aries who plows full-steam ahead and takes very little time, if any, to contemplate that thier way may not be the right way? The answer is simple, to them, there is no right way or wrong way .. every path is worth venturing down, whether it's dark or light, turns left or right .. there is no failure, only a life-experience to be gained. It's a matter of perspective.

Cancer12 .. because of your sun, you might not be able to thicken up your skin for him. The Crab is probably too sensitive for the Ram .. in your eyes, you see it as, "i'm jus afriad to let him walk all over me" .. and to him, he doesn't want you to lay down before him. You are fighting against two different things.

Let me put this way .. you feel like you're scrambling before him, having to tell him from a lead that your fighting to gain .. whereas, he just wants you to put your energy in being secure and confident enough within yourself to not even think about defeat.

An understanding about what each other needs isn't even present .. at least, that's how I percieve this from what you've written ..

maybe u're right bout "An understanding about what each other needs isn't even present" - it's like we speak two dif languages sometimes and it's jus a matter of us learning how to communicate with the other - i'm not sure how to get to that point of understanding each other's needs. please ur advice would be appreciated

p-angel, my bf is pretty insecure - he says he trust me yet when guys come up to me and they are jus talkin he gets jealous - one time i was jus talkin to a guy and my bf was working at the bar - the first chance he got from serving ppl he called me over to the corner and asked who the guy was and he even admitted to callin me over to send the guy a message - i wasn't even doing anything wrong but i wasn't angry - i laughed it off and said "i already told that guy u're my bf"

i understand jealousy is normal and even i get jeaous but he takes it overboard sometimes - once a guy friend i hadn't seen in yrs came by the bar and since my bf was workin at the bar - my guy friend and i (whom was an old classmate and no more - the guy even got married recently and got a kid) chatted most of the night and my ex got angry saying - it seemed that i had no time for him - i tried to explain that i hadn't seen my friend in yrs and we were jus catchin up - so for most of that night my bf was upset with me

cancer12 .. I certainly understand that a person feels that they should have a right to have their friends without any complications, or getting any grief from another person for it .. I would just think that if you are looking for what you need to do to try and have a decent relationship with him, then you would look at what makes him upset and stop doing it, rather than focusing on why something is unfair ..

It's just depends on the person, I guess .. if it were me and I knew that something made him upset .. I wouldn't do it. And after time, he would begin to see that I do things for him because I respect him and his wishes and want to make him happy .. eventually, he would come to understand that I want what he wants .. and he would begin to want what I want because I respected him. He would understand that I'm trying to live my life "with" him, share moments with him to be fond of, not to argue about, or stress over.

Do you really have to talk to men in bars? No.
Do you want to, eventhough you know it ticks him off? Yes.
That needs to be addressed.
Talk to girls .. will that make him jealous? If not, talk to them.
It's a choice, Cancer12 .. a choice of whether you want to walk "with" him, or against him. You know talking to men is walking against him.

Anyway, I'm not a good judge of Aries men .. I can only go by just regular friends because I'm not in an intimate relationship with one, so I could be way off with all this.