I can't stand my co-worker

I can't stand her. I am very patient and I have been incredibly caring towards her when she comes to work crying because she got into a fight with her bf.

Or whenever she feels sick, I ask if she needs any help, medicine, etc.

That ended today. For the first time, I shared something (personal) that happened to me that its work related and was affecting my bank account...

While I was very sad and frustrated with what had happened, she immediately cut me off (while I was explaining to her the situation) and started talking about random things.

What would you do if someone does this to you? cut you off and start talking about random things while you are talking?

Most times I tend to listen to ALL her problems - in the past few months, I think I know everything that happens in her personal life because that's all she talks about.

Posted by Chessmess

I can't stand her. I am very patient and I have been incredibly caring towards her when she comes to work crying because she got into a fight with her bf.

Or whenever she feels sick, I ask if she needs any help, medicine, etc.

That ended today. For the first time, I shared something (personal) that happened to me that its work related and was affecting my bank account...

While I was very sad and frustrated with what had happened, she immediately cut me off (while I was explaining to her the situation) and started talking about random things.

What would you do if someone does this to you? cut you off and start talking about random things while you are talking?

Most times I tend to listen to ALL her problems - in the past few months, I think I know everything that happens in her personal life because that's all she talks about.

Show less interest in what she has to say now from now on? Don't ask any questions or give any reaction. If you can don't give her a chance to vent, but if you are like me and not able to do that, I would just listen and not react or ask more questions. Sometimes people just use you because you let them. I know it is hard. Also, I think if you did not share with her before, she may now be used to it being only one sided venting relation. And some people are just mean and don't care about others.

Posted by colors

Posted by Chessmess

I can't stand her. I am very patient and I have been incredibly caring towards her when she comes to work crying because she got into a fight with her bf.

Or whenever she feels sick, I ask if she needs any help, medicine, etc.

That ended today. For the first time, I shared something (personal) that happened to me that its work related and was affecting my bank account...

While I was very sad and frustrated with what had happened, she immediately cut me off (while I was explaining to her the situation) and started talking about random things.

What would you do if someone does this to you? cut you off and start talking about random things while you are talking?

Most times I tend to listen to ALL her problems - in the past few months, I think I know everything that happens in her personal life because that's all she talks about.

Show less interest in what she has to say now from now on? Don't ask any questions or give any reaction. If you can don't give her a chance to vent, but if you are like me and not able to do that, I would just listen and not react or ask more questions. Sometimes people just use you because you let them. I know it is hard. Also, I think if you did not share with her before, she may now be used to it being only one sided venting relation. And some people are just mean and don't care about others.

click to expand

I think you are right. She's used to me not saying much about my personal life which I actually think its boring to talk about.

I might just play dumb and just let her talk and talk which its what I have done most of the time...I just listen.

Posted by GenXgem

If someone did this to me I would cut the bitch 🔪 👅

LOL

All kidding aside, just do the same as she did to you. Next time she starts talking about some bullshit of hers, cut her off and start talking about random stuff. Win-win 😉

😆😆

I've thought about it...I do end up feeling guilty for being mean afterwards but you gotta do what you gotta do.

🔪

Posted by champrangerv2

Posted by Hypnotoad

Anyone else think that electric cars are gonna be noisy like an anoyong high pitched noise?

Very random 😂

click to expand

reminds me of my co-worker

😆

Jokingly say, “excuse me, I have a the talking stick.”

Wait for her turn on the couch 🛋

She’s an Aries? Aries are selfish.

definitely keep your work and personal life separate. Realize that there are just people out there that just want to talk about themselves and its better you know now

I'm not a therapist. I'm here to work. Excuse me.

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by colors

Posted by Chessmess

I can't stand her. I am very patient and I have been incredibly caring towards her when she comes to work crying because she got into a fight with her bf.

Or whenever she feels sick, I ask if she needs any help, medicine, etc.

That ended today. For the first time, I shared something (personal) that happened to me that its work related and was affecting my bank account...

While I was very sad and frustrated with what had happened, she immediately cut me off (while I was explaining to her the situation) and started talking about random things.

What would you do if someone does this to you? cut you off and start talking about random things while you are talking?

Most times I tend to listen to ALL her problems - in the past few months, I think I know everything that happens in her personal life because that's all she talks about.

Show less interest in what she has to say now from now on? Don't ask any questions or give any reaction. If you can don't give her a chance to vent, but if you are like me and not able to do that, I would just listen and not react or ask more questions. Sometimes people just use you because you let them. I know it is hard. Also, I think if you did not share with her before, she may now be used to it being only one sided venting relation. And some people are just mean and don't care about others.

I think you are right. She's used to me not saying much about my personal life which I actually think its boring to talk about.

I might just play dumb and just let her talk and talk which its what I have done most of the time...I just listen.

click to expand

Why waste your time listening to her? When she opens her mouth to talk start walking away and leave her standing there.

Posted by pinkbird03

She’s an Aries? Aries are selfish.

True

I would ghost them. If they persist and want to know why, id tell them. Going through this with a friend and I’m distancing myself.

Posted by DMV

Jokingly say, “excuse me, I have a the talking stick.”

Wait for her turn on the couch 🛋

Interestingly, she’s a teacher...she should know the rules about the talking stick.

😩

Posted by DonnaLibra

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by colors

Posted by Chessmess

I can't stand her. I am very patient and I have been incredibly caring towards her when she comes to work crying because she got into a fight with her bf.

Or whenever she feels sick, I ask if she needs any help, medicine, etc.

That ended today. For the first time, I shared something (personal) that happened to me that its work related and was affecting my bank account...

While I was very sad and frustrated with what had happened, she immediately cut me off (while I was explaining to her the situation) and started talking about random things.

What would you do if someone does this to you? cut you off and start talking about random things while you are talking?

Most times I tend to listen to ALL her problems - in the past few months, I think I know everything that happens in her personal life because that's all she talks about.

Show less interest in what she has to say now from now on? Don't ask any questions or give any reaction. If you can don't give her a chance to vent, but if you are like me and not able to do that, I would just listen and not react or ask more questions. Sometimes people just use you because you let them. I know it is hard. Also, I think if you did not share with her before, she may now be used to it being only one sided venting relation. And some people are just mean and don't care about others.

I think you are right. She's used to me not saying much about my personal life which I actually think its boring to talk about.

I might just play dumb and just let her talk and talk which its what I have done most of the time...I just listen.

Why waste your time listening to her? When she opens her mouth to talk start walking away and leave her standing there.

click to expand

I wish I could...but we share a space for several hours ...then I walk away. 😩

Posted by PhoenixStorm

It sounds like she’s self absorbed. I honestly would be careful anyway with trusting and opening up to coworkers. I have had too many bad experiences with backstabbers and two faced coworkers.. now I just remind myself that I’m not at work to make friends, I’m there to make money and I keep to myself. Then I come on here and vent to a bunch of strangers that I don’t know 😂

But i’m introverted as hell so that’s easy for me 🤣 🤷‍♀️

You are right and I agree 100% . Your motto is exactly the way I think about work.

Most of the time I keep my mouth shut but the email I received that day was very upsetting since it involved my income. I think I shouldn’t have said anything but my reaction was obvious and immediate.

At least this experience helped me get to know her a lot better.

Posted by OnigenZ

I'm not a therapist. I'm here to work. Excuse me.

Dxp is a huge therapist waiting room

Well, now you know.

I have a coworker similar to this. I mean sometimes she pretends to care to ask you about something in your life, but most of the time it’s just listening to her vent about one life crisis to another...and when she’s out of them, she manufactures one 🙄

I agree with others, just don’t invest in her.

Only half-ass listen and reply with “wow that’s crazy” and shit like that until she gets the point

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by OnigenZ

I'm not a therapist. I'm here to work. Excuse me.

Dxp is a huge therapist waiting room

click to expand

No, this is what she'd say to that emotional leech at work.

People will suck you dry if you let them. Take all your energy and give nothing back in return.

You should be grateful to her, she is going to teach you the valuable skill of learning to set boundaries.

You are the gatekeeper of your life and your energy and effort is yours to give, not others to demand.

I agree with all of the above. She's self absorbed and she has gotten accustomed to sounding everything off you.

Personally, I can't take these people at work. I just put my nose in my work and ignore everything else around me. Like, what ? are you talking to me ? did you get that report out ? no oh well ok then - do you think you could be doing that ? type thing. I can and do come off cold but anything else would be unthinkable lol. I get excellent reviews because I get all my work done well and don't get hung up with the office heffers.

Posted by OnigenZ

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by OnigenZ

I'm not a therapist. I'm here to work. Excuse me.

Dxp is a huge therapist waiting room

No, this is what she'd say to that emotional leech at work.

click to expand

I was very close to saying that today.

I come to work and she’s arguing with her bf on the phone ...early in the morning.

Input my headphones on and just ignored everything

Posted by Sailor_Mars

Yeeeeees I know that situation well...just don't take it personally because to her all people are the same - an ear to cry to.

Indeed

She spills her personal problems anywhere and everywhere.

It’s quite amusing.

Posted by LadyNeptune

People will suck you dry if you let them. Take all your energy and give nothing back in return.

You should be grateful to her, she is going to teach you the valuable skill of learning to set boundaries.

You are the gatekeeper of your life and your energy and effort is yours to give, not others to demand.

Thank you. You are right. It’s a big lessons I am learning...setting boundaries.

Posted by tctapp007

I agree with all of the above. She's self absorbed and she has gotten accustomed to sounding everything off you.

Personally, I can't take these people at work. I just put my nose in my work and ignore everything else around me. Like, what ? are you talking to me ? did you get that report out ? no oh well ok then - do you think you could be doing that ? type thing. I can and do come off cold but anything else would be unthinkable lol. I get excellent reviews because I get all my work done well and don't get hung up with the office heffers.

I should be more like what you wrote but seems like I have a magnet for people who want to spill all their personal problems ...

Maybe because I am quiet and I keep to myself so they think it’s safe to spill everything because I won’t say anything.

Perhaps it’s best to cut them off immediately- like what she did to me.

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by LadyNeptune

People will suck you dry if you let them. Take all your energy and give nothing back in return.

You should be grateful to her, she is going to teach you the valuable skill of learning to set boundaries.

You are the gatekeeper of your life and your energy and effort is yours to give, not others to demand.

Thank you. You are right. It’s a big lessons I am learning...setting boundaries.

click to expand

We've all been there.

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by tctapp007

I agree with all of the above. She's self absorbed and she has gotten accustomed to sounding everything off you.

Personally, I can't take these people at work. I just put my nose in my work and ignore everything else around me. Like, what ? are you talking to me ? did you get that report out ? no oh well ok then - do you think you could be doing that ? type thing. I can and do come off cold but anything else would be unthinkable lol. I get excellent reviews because I get all my work done well and don't get hung up with the office heffers.

I should be more like what you wrote but seems like I have a magnet for people who want to spill all their personal problems ...

Maybe because I am quiet and I keep to myself so they think it’s safe to spill everything because I won’t say anything.

Perhaps it’s best to cut them off immediately- like what she did to me.

click to expand

exactly - who has time for stupid office chat anyway - at work you can't have friends - be friendly but not friends and that "friendly" only goes so far

Posted by tctapp007

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by tctapp007

I agree with all of the above. She's self absorbed and she has gotten accustomed to sounding everything off you.

Personally, I can't take these people at work. I just put my nose in my work and ignore everything else around me. Like, what ? are you talking to me ? did you get that report out ? no oh well ok then - do you think you could be doing that ? type thing. I can and do come off cold but anything else would be unthinkable lol. I get excellent reviews because I get all my work done well and don't get hung up with the office heffers.

I should be more like what you wrote but seems like I have a magnet for people who want to spill all their personal problems ...

Maybe because I am quiet and I keep to myself so they think it’s safe to spill everything because I won’t say anything.

Perhaps it’s best to cut them off immediately- like what she did to me.

exactly - who has time for stupid office chat anyway - at work you can't have friends - be friendly but not friends and that "friendly" only goes so far

click to expand

YES! I agree.

I have two rules - I don't make friends with co-workers and I don't party with co-workers.

Posted by brianafay

Well, now you know.

I have a coworker similar to this. I mean sometimes she pretends to care to ask you about something in your life, but most of the time it’s just listening to her vent about one life crisis to another...and when she’s out of them, she manufactures one 🙄

I agree with others, just don’t invest in her.

Only half-ass listen and reply with “wow that’s crazy” and shit like that until she gets the point

There seems to be someone like that at every job....

I've been using the "I am typing an email and I need to concentrate" tactic.

It worked today. lol

Posted by aquarius_man_

Posted by pinkbird03

She’s an Aries? Aries are selfish.

OP is an Aries

click to expand

unfortunately yes, I am but I am nothing like my coworker and I mind my own business.

Reading between the lines; it sounds like you might've had (or have) an attraction to your coworker.

Sorry to be so blunt.

Posted by aquarius_man_

Posted by pinkbird03

She’s an Aries? Aries are selfish.

OP is an Aries

click to expand

My bf is an Aries. He can be selfish with certain things, although I see it less and less the longer I date him. Doesn’t mean he’s a bad person.