Putting sex on hold with an aries

as a cancer I like to take things slow and I recently stated dating this aries (a little over a month)and he is starting to talk about us having sex. now I don't want to go there thsi quick, at leat for 5 months or whenever I am ready. so far I have been very good at deflecting this but He is getting antsy. we get along great and he is an awsome guy. I just want to know what is the best way to tell him not to get his hopes up this quick and not make him think I don't love him. I want us to keep this behind us so we can concentrate on us.

how do aries deal with no sex for a period of time in a relationship?

"at leat for 5 months or whenever I am ready."


What if he's ready before then?

There's two people in a partnership, no?

yeah but 5 months—
c'mon now
i would never......prolly would get some action on the side while still working you.....
there is a fine line between giving it up too quick and not giving it up at all
honestly, if he lasts 2-3 months he is a keeper and probably crazy about you but with that in mind he is going to get more and more creative , daring charming and romantic, before you know it will YOU be jumping his bones, lol
so, go ahead hold off you if you think you can handle it, lol

but that is the thing there are people out there who have waited longer than that. I just don't want to rush things. when he asked me is I was a virgin I said no so he uses that to say that if I could sleep with someone who was not my boyfriend(my aries is actually my first real boyfriend)then why do i keep finding ways to keep it from going there. the point is I lost my virginity on my own terms not because the other guy wanted me to. and after that one time I have not gone there and I want to make sure our relationship is real and if we sleeep together and it does not last I would be crushed. one thing I will never feel with the guy I lost my virginity too because I did not expect or want anything out of it. so because I have strong feelings for my bf I do not want to rush everything.

LOL!..Just the topic...

To be honest, in my case, I don't know about him, but I seriously cannot wait 5 months to sleep with someone!...I would expect to sleep with them on 2/3rd date..5 months is outrageous..Thats going back to college days thinking damn do I want to lose my virginity or not..

Where's the 5-alarm fire..? lol Five months is nothing in the bigger scope of things. If he's wise and mature, your decision not to rush should make him feel even more special, for exactly the reasons you stated. It will show him that he's not 'just another.' Hold strong to your values; if he respects you now, he'll respect you later..

I am all about making them wait and seeing whether its the real thing trust me, BUT my situation is slightly different with the distance...however having said that..one aries said to me "what if the chick is shit in bed, I've waited 3 months to find this out, thats wasting my precious time"..LOL..
Love/sex mean the same thing to them...they can fall in love via good sex...Don't think about this being the real thing..JUST GO FOR IT..

Class_act aries..you can be as romantic and charming as you like really, a Scorpio woman would be able to fend you off no problem..that shit don't work on us if we don't WANT it to..Its all about desire..and as fellow martians we know ALL about that!...I am glad we share the planet with you guys...

Hehe...

"Love/sex mean the same thing to them...they can fall in love via good sex...Don't think about this being the real thing..JUST GO FOR IT.."

That's pretty scary, and bottom barrel shallow. Whatever happened to romance and actually getting to know someone. Anyway, don't make your decision based on sun-sign, alone. Do what your conscience tells you? *Good luck, whatever you decide..

"That's pretty scary, and bottom barrel shallow. Whatever happened to romance and actually getting to know someone."

We don't live in Shakespear times anymore..thats what happened...Its a selfish world these days...if you want something..go get it...simple really...And you can really find someone out through sex alone..Its a transforming experience..

But yeah good luck with the whole 5 month thing..

You can have it all, but on your timeline and when you're ready..'whatever you do, respect yourself first. If he truly loves you, he'll wait. What's a few months in your whole lives, anyway, if it means that much. *Good luck again! 😉

"You can have it all, but on your timeline and when you're ready.."

Ready..in this case:

Aries - less than 2 seconds
Cancer - Hmmm is never a timeline—?

"Love/sex mean the same thing to them...they can fall in love via good sex...Don't think about this being the real thing..JUST GO FOR IT.."

mm....ohhhhhh, YOU are scaring ME! 😉

She is absolutely correct in her above statement re: Aries (me at least). Sex is VERY important to me in a relationship, it is a part of being in love and expressing the love that we share with someone. If the sex for me is not working with another man, hate to say this....but, - I am outta there. I know that may sound cold to some but that is my truth.

I have been in that situation a few times and it just doesn not work for us. Sex is a part of the relationship for us - I do agree however in having him wait a bit ....but you know what CLS? I think subconsciously you are holding back for some reason - fear?

* I gotta find me a Scorp! 😛

Certainly, respecting yourself should take place. I think to say, you can have it all, but on just ONE person's timeline is pretty unfair, since there are two people in a reltionship and just one.

From my perspective, the focus has been on this 5 month thing and not the problem itself. FB is right .. it's a fear.

"the point is I lost my virginity on my own terms not because the other guy wanted me to. and after that one time I have not gone there and I want to make sure our relationship is real and if we sleeep together and it does not last I would be crushed"

Going from the above sentence, it is believed by this lady that if a relationship is real then it will last, and only until she knows it will last, will she put-out .. if she sleeps with him and it doesnt' last, she will be crushed.

The best relationships in the world, dont' last .. people change, love fades over time, tha's the way life is and it has nothing to do with sleepling with him. It's almost as if this kitty is being held hostage until there is security that it's real and will last.

Nothing lasts forever ..

I sort of agree with the Aries when he said, you would sleep with someone who isn't your boyfriend, but, not me who is your boyfriend .. that's pretty unfair. That's holding your boyfriend responsible for giving in and giving your virginity away to someone who wasn't your boyfriend and then saying that it hurt you in some way ..

Doesn't make sense ..

"I want to make sure our relationship is real and if we sleeep together and it does not last I would be crushed."

LOL @ Freebird..hahah..yes you must!..The masters of oral...(need I say more). And about a gazillion times over..

Yes sex is very important indeed..and a Scorpio truly emerses with the other individual during sex..its an intense experience..we live for the end result not the means..

I know a few Cancers and they seem to hold back because "what if" it doesn't work? Their fear is of "letting go" once they have been physical and if there is a strong emotional connection. Instead, it is easier to "play it safe" just in case.

Aries playing it safe is taking risks. We don't know till we try. Moments are very important to us - for this is what creates our life. If the moments aren't happening, we create elsewhere.

I think your Aries fella has shown up in your life Missy to get you to "let go" and be free!!!!!!

P-A is right - nothing, nothing last forever - us humans are "moment livers" *that sounds weird...sorta like calf livers, beef livers......😛 but, you know what I mean.

Just learn to enjoy the moment...and the next, the next....and if you can do this, you will look back and reflect on the wonderful life you have created for yourself.

Best wishes to you!

P-Angel is right, nothing lasts forever..so enjoy the present moment..live for the here and now..stop worrying about future, stability blah blah...I never think about the future, it comes soon enough...(thats a quote by someone..not sure who)

Wooohooooo yay!!!

LOL..Freebird and I said the same thing..I swear I didn't see your message before posting mine

😉

Yes I love the aries free spirit...Thats the kind of person I need in my life serioysly..somebody who keeps me alive and active.

gotta find me a SCORP!


NOW!



*thinks...hmmmmm.

Ah you see, I am a unique brand of Scorpio...I have been told there aren't many like me..

::sings unforgettable....thats what you are::

LOL @ YOU MM - funny how we posted the same thoughts.

I agree with you - I too need someone who keep up with me sexually and emotionally....i like the "deep" thinkers. 😉

*who will

Yeppers....

One of my bestest pals is a Scorp and she is nothing like you. Cool how we all are so different.

Not all Aries are the same either - I have been told many, many times that I am not the typical Arien. Infact, astrolgers were not able to guess my sign - everything but!


Go figure.

Hey, my North Node is in Scorpio......

LOL @ Yeppers..I always say that!..

::thinks freebird may be the missing twin::

What is this north node thingy? Hmmm..let me go google it..

Are any of your planets in Scorpio?

Wow, I just check my charts and my Chiron (whatever that is) is in ARIES!..Woohoo..lol..didn't know that about myself..let me research chiron

mm, you didn't make it to the States yet?

nope....the "martian" is in a holding pattern......lol

she will be here end of May?

Oh, but, you still have the job, though right?

May is a beautiful time to come .. New England is gorgeous that time of year.

Chiron In Aries
Chiron (to bring about the fullest potential) in Aries (energetic and urgent).

You need to bring about the fullest potential, in an energetic and urgent way, in matters concerning the presentation of yourself. It could be that, for instance, you lack self-confidence, or you are too self-confident, for example. The solution lies within the problem (Perhaps in Libra, in relation to others). It is the other side to the problem. One route to solving the problem is to take action and do something about it (fire). You may be a great teacher, who is better at helping others, than you are in helping yourself.

Damn!..go figure..

P-Angel: I am going to Boston (New England) in July so it will be nice out there..Looking forward to it immensely..

But I am going to see my Aries man on May 25th cos I can't wait till July..he's in New York.

Yes I do still have the job, which I am enjoying immensely..and lets see within a year I might get a transfer to move permanently..Have been checking out property prices etc and its well within my affordability range..

I don't blame you for not being able to wait .. the male Aries is just damn hard to resist 😉 Plus you two have been planning an encounter for a while .. though, really the anticipation is the best part.

Have you ever been to New York? Is he in the city?

Neptune is in Scorpio
North Node - Scorpio

I don't know much about astro compatibility .. but, I always thought that Cancer was too emotional for the Ram.

For me....absolutely!

I am unable to do the male Cancer 😢

I wanna know what Nepytune in Scorpio means...


how do I find that out?

I won't tell you precisely where he lives, in case he's lurking (although he would say he has better ways to spend his time)..lol..but yeah he lives in near the city..

I have never been to New York. Was meant to go in December but never quite made it..have 3 close friends living in NYC..Shame i won't get to see them this time around..lol..All my friends say to me that I won't come back to the UK. I kinda believe them..lol

Yes hard to resist..RESISTANCE IS FUTILE..but also for my own selfish reasons..as in I need some excitement/different experience..no offence to your man (assuming your still with him) but I think the Virgo thing will come to an end..3 dates and theres no excitement..just too matter of factish for me..theres no passion/energy..Well I tried..he is one fine piece of ass though..shame that aint enough!..

Neptune in Scorpio:

The illusion of this age (1956 to 1971) was that people could be reborn (Scorpio) through drugs (Neptune). There was also great concern about pollution, with very little action taken. Neptune changes minds. Action comes later. In this case, Uranus and Pluto followed Neptune into Scorpio and that's when we got environmental protection laws.

Yeah I don't like male cancers either!..Can't stand them actually..lol..

Those born in the generation of Neptune in Scorpio have the potential for realizing the higher levels of shared material ownership on a planetary level. They are infused with the vision of the spiritual repsonsibility for the Earth's resources as a whole. They are aware of the current human material values and the potental for transformation of those values that will lead humanity to a higher level of relating to the physical world. On a personal level, it indicates the dilemma of dealing with establishing one's value with other people. It is the choice between idealistically expecting the automatic support of other people's resources or responsibly defining material valus with them. It also deals with the choice between expecting automatic emotional fulfillment through sex or committing oneself to the self-purification that will actually bring about the realization of those ideals.

"Yes hard to resist..RESISTANCE IS FUTILE..but also for my own selfish reasons"


Awwwwwww .. that sounds very familiar .. somebody in here says that a lot.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm .. my fishie radar is flapping all over the board, here.

LOL..now my scorpio tail is wagging like crazy

Who who who

Thanks P and MM!

"emotional fulfillment through sex"

OR

"self-purification that will actually bring about the realization of those ideals."


Choices...choices....choices.....

darn!

P and MM.......


🙂

"tails" of the scorp and fishy.....

and the story continues 😉

LOL...Damn that must be an annoying place to be...

LOL @ tails of the scorpio and fishy..hahahah

MM...mind if I PM you?

Nah mate..go right ahead...

thanks 😉

Alright, back to author of this thread ..

Men in general measure in physical terms, moreso than the emotional. So far, you want to deflect the sexual part to concentrate to the two of you connecting on the emotional level and the problem with that is that he is male and for him to find a true connection it has to be on the physical, also.

Somebody in here said something to the effect of .. what if he waits these 5 months and the sex sucks .. then he's wasted all this time. So, in reality, even if these months are waited for you to feel secure with him .. he could still leave you because he wasn't allowed to gain the connection that a male NEEDS .. sexual.

There are two people in a partnership .. you are female, so naturally, you need this emotional bond .. but, he is not female .. if you want him to have this bond with you, then he has to know from the physical aspect, as well.

MM,

The book was sent ......