True Happiness or Egotistical (Page 2)

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cancerlady
@cancerlady
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Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
She
loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing
and
somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in

love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to

herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this

carrying on."



She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later her

car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the
country
she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she
had
to walk home.



On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans
was
more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she
figured
that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So,
she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three

large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted, and
upon
arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.



Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,
"Darling,
I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led
her
to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about
to
remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her

promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to

answer the telephone.



The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure
was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the
room
she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it
go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over
a skunk in front of pulpwood mill.



She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she

shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more which reminded her of

cooked cabbage.



Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room,she went
on
like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells
signaled
the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her

napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling

contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her
husband
returned.



Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she

assured him that she had not.



At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was

surprised!!..............







There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY"!!!!!!!