How do you deal with liars?

The honesty in the zodiac thread got me to thinking about how or what is the best way to deal with liars. For clarification, I consider gossip and half-truths to be lies as well. If you know someone is lying about you, trying to make you look bad or give you a bad reputation for their own gain, how do you deal with this?



I think that some signs deal with it differently than others, I imagine cap or taurus to have the stiff upper lip, adhering to the strong silent male stereotype (key word here, it's a stereotype, not complete truth).

I also see some to fight fire with fire, spread even worse rumors about the other person.

So, how do you deal with this?

Interesting.

When I was younger if I knew someone was bad-mouthing me or looking for things to spread about me, I would tell them wrong info and watch it spread. Eventually they would look stupid saying absolutely wrong stuff and everyone would then know their scheme. But now I just do the stiff-upper-lip routine and try to spend my time on more important goals, career, friends who value you, etc.

Posted by Capri-sun
Depends.

Confront it, stop dealing with the person, or know in my mind not to trust them.

What if it's your immediate co-worker?

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Capri-sun
Depends.

Confront it, stop dealing with the person, or know in my mind not to trust them.

What if it's your immediate co-worker?

My response was to lying in general. Not just people telling lies about me.

In the event it is an immediate coworker, most likely I just ignore it.

I know who I am and who I'm not. The truth has a funny way of revealing itself eventually anyway.

click to expand

Work is a different situation, true.

But the effects of lying can be more serious

and far-reaching, unfortunately.

And the solution is never quite as simple as

as it would be if it were just a social matter.

I agree, though, that the truth has a funny way

of revealing itself eventually--

I'm counting on it. 😄

Posted by Feral_doe
Gossip isn't always a lie. Sometimes you, um, share facts about another person.

Js.

That is correct. But rather than derail the discussion in semantics, lets assume gossip is negative in this sense, and used in a negative, sensational, malicious, manner.

point blank them ....

I just don't believe in hinting around that I know something is up ...nope ...

What do you guys think of this perspective:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140808184332-12571684-gossip-the-most-insidious-form-of-bullying

Spreading rumors about a coworker is one of the most insidious and malicious forms of bullying because the person being gossiped about is not in a position to rebut the claims to share his/her side of the matter; it always creates the potential for negative judgments and labels to be applied to the individual being gossiped about; and nothing has greater potential to create divisiveness and silo effect than a culture that tolerates (and by tolerating, encourages) rumor-mongering. Most important, damage done to someone's reputation by malicious gossip can never be undone.

I didn't quote the whole article because of space and you can always click on it to read.

Confront them but lying is like the worst thing to me if we are friends or in a relationship. Not something I can get past unfortunately. At least not in this stage in lie.

Posted by rabidtalker
The honesty in the zodiac thread got me to thinking about how or what is the best way to deal with liars. For clarification, I consider gossip and half-truths to be lies as well. If you know someone is lying about you, trying to make you look bad or give you a bad reputation for their own gain, how do you deal with this?



I think that some signs deal with it differently than others, I imagine cap or taurus to have the stiff upper lip, adhering to the strong silent male stereotype (key word here, it's a stereotype, not complete truth).

I also see some to fight fire with fire, spread even worse rumors about the other person.

So, how do you deal with this?

Posted by Feral_doe

Posted by rabidtalker

Posted by Feral_doe
Gossip isn't always a lie. Sometimes you, um, share facts about another person.

Js.

That is correct. But rather than derail the discussion in semantics, lets assume gossip is negative in this sense, and used in a negative, sensational, malicious, manner.

Well, sometimes I find it necessary to clarify a few things, especially when it comes to terminology.

It's very easy to manipulate people into thinking a certain way when using vague words like that.

*shrugs*

But to answer your question. I usually ignore it until it interferes with my day-to-day and I'm not able to go about my business as usual.

click to expand

I understand. What if, say, it was in business and they are targeting potential customers or people you work with?

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Capri-sun
Depends.

Confront it, stop dealing with the person, or know in my mind not to trust them.

What if it's your immediate co-worker?

My response was to lying in general. Not just people telling lies about me.

In the event it is an immediate coworker, most likely I just ignore it.

I know who I am and who I'm not. The truth has a funny way of revealing itself eventually anyway.

Work is a different situation, true.

But the effects of lying can be more serious

and far-reaching, unfortunately.

And the solution is never quite as simple as

as it would be if it were just a social matter.

I agree, though, that the truth has a funny way

of revealing itself eventually--

I'm counting on it. 😄

Documentation is your best friend

click to expand

Indeed.

Already there.

Posted by Feral_doe
What exactly is the job?

If they're spreading lies about me to customers? Then we have a problem.

People I work with? I don't care.

It's hypothetical. 😄

I've seen people use it various ways though, for example spread enough to enough people so that you are now dealing with rumors instead of your work, or spread enough to customers so you lose business, or spread to people you need to have a smooth relationship with (a team member) in order to get a job done. If there are enough little white lies that spread enough so that it becomes an avalanche rather than a snowball.

But assuming it is a customer, do you go to the customer and deal with it or the coworker or some other route? Do you ignore it and embark on a public image campaign? What if you dont know what the rumors are just that there are rumors? I suppose it can go down a myriad of pathways and it's not really a fair question. I just want general discussion on the matter.

my husband has this feeling about someone at his work, he just doesn't like this person, at all. So I asked him, do other people like him? He said nope. And I asked, does his friends like him? (the men who like my husband and he likes them -- gets along) and he said, nope.

so what does he do? Nothing. I'm guessing because he will be out of there soon, but he has to work on something with a group of men and he's in there. Just mind your business and make sure you are doing good/doing right in your work, the bosses or higher ups know you are a good worker and everything so don't worry.

People who want to tear down your character with gossip and lies are looking for a reaction. I don't give them one. They don't deserve the satisfaction of my anger. Instead I remove them and all traces they ever existed from my life.

Peace, salty bitches!

@rabid,

here's a good video on haters, I think Alyssa sums it up really good. "people just need to hate and they just project it onto you.."

1- haters gonna hate.



"if you're behind their hatred, it has nothing to do with you, but sometimes it's projection, jealousy, "

2- fakers gonna fake

people will copy your style , or talking shit about you.....

Walk up behind them and sing very loudly



*Liar, liar, pants on fire*

Whilst poking them with a finger in the back



😛

Posted by tiziani
Everyone lies, but lying about other people is strange and curious behaviour. I probably wouldn't do anything. Just observe until I can see what's in it for them.

possible scenarios that I've actually seen occur:

1. power or position - mars/venus-pluto square at play

2. financial gain - no astrologically backed position, this can occur across the board

3. maliciousness, boredom/entertainment

4. maliciousness, hurt in the past, taking it out on someone or scapegoating

Posted by rabidtalker
The honesty in the zodiac thread got me to thinking about how or what is the best way to deal with liars. For clarification, I consider gossip and half-truths to be lies as well. If you know someone is lying about you, trying to make you look bad or give you a bad reputation for their own gain, how do you deal with this?



I think that some signs deal with it differently than others, I imagine cap or taurus to have the stiff upper lip, adhering to the strong silent male stereotype (key word here, it's a stereotype, not complete truth).

I also see some to fight fire with fire, spread even worse rumors about the other person.

So, how do you deal with this?

I pretty much confront and/or ignore if the confront is not expected to go well anyway -

My response was to lying in general. Not just people telling lies about me.

In the event it is an immediate coworker, most likely I just ignore it.

I know who I am and who I'm not. The truth has a funny way of revealing itself eventually anyway.



yes it surely does, sit back and watch - the wait is worth it ...

Posted by starwars
it depend on what they're lying about...I could care less if its stupid and doesn't effect my life-work-relationships. If it does then I pull an Aries.

lol - yea - my bull would show up LOL !

Posted by littlenanobyte
Sit back and watch them get tangled in their web. No need to intervene, when they will inevitably screw themselves over in the end. Drop subtle hints here and there that make them wonder if you are aware of them lying. Eventually call them out subtly on it, in such a way that only you and the liar know what you're talking about. It makes for a good mind fuck and good entertainment ?

If I don't feel in the mood for those games ^

Then I'll just straight up say "Yea well that's cute, but I know you're fucking lying because ..... and ..... and ......" and prove my points.

I don't get mad about people lying very often, it just changes my opinion and lessens my respect for them, indefinitely and probably forever.

Yep yep! Right here.

I ask a lot of question to catch them in their lies. Its very easy actually.

I just talk to them as if I'm a cop interrogating them and I already have proof of their crime and convince them all they need to do to make this right is confess. Knowing damn well I couldn't prove shit if they asked me to. But it usually works.

Posted by Scorpico
I ask a lot of question to catch them in their lies. Its very easy actually.

I just talk to them as if I'm a cop interrogating them and I already have proof of their crime and convince them all they need to do to make this right is confess. Knowing damn well I couldn't prove shit if they asked me to. But it usually works.

But, what do you do after they confess? And what if it's negative gossip and not a lie told directly to you?

Posted by rabidtalker

Posted by Scorpico
I ask a lot of question to catch them in their lies. Its very easy actually.

I just talk to them as if I'm a cop interrogating them and I already have proof of their crime and convince them all they need to do to make this right is confess. Knowing damn well I couldn't prove shit if they asked me to. But it usually works.

But, what do you do after they confess? And what if it's negative gossip and not a lie told directly to you?

click to expand

If they matter to me, I talk to them about it and remind them that theres no need to lie. And usually people lie because they don't feel comfortable telling he truth, so I listen and let them feel comfortable with telling me. Gossip…idgaf about that. I can sense when someone is telling me a REAL lie.

Punch 'em if they lie...and if they tell the truth.

I would present their lies to them and if they get too defensive, I would just downgrade them in my life. Not necessarily cut them off, but keep my distance from them, won't share anything personal with them will observe them until I feel comfortable enough to trust them again.

Recently, someone showed their true face to me by lying outright by denying that they had told me something. She even swore on god (her being a practicing Christian) that she had not made that lying statement. I was shocked at her behavior. I realized that she will not admit to her lies so I calmed her down by giving her the benefit of doubt to her face whilst I immediately distanced myself from her. I will never trust this liar again.