I am married but in love with someone else!!

My husband is wonderful I never this would happen to me, and I met someone he drove me crazy until I saw him again. I sensed strong mutual attraction. We are both married, and have no intentions of cheating, but I am going crazy in my head..
I checked our synastry, and it's mad crazy attraction towards eachother...
I thought it will wear down buy it looks like I am taking this to my grave
I am sobbing and crying while I am writing this.
Sun conjuct sun
Sun conjunct pluto
Moon trine pluto
Venus conjunct pluto
Mars conjunct sun
Pluto conjunct pluto
And a few more please advice

Posted by nazasif
My husband is wonderful I never this would happen to me, and I met someone he drove me crazy until I saw him again. I sensed strong mutual attraction. We are both married, and have no intentions of cheating, but I am going crazy in my head..
I checked our synastry, and it's mad crazy attraction towards eachother...
I thought it will wear down buy it looks like I am taking this to my grave
I am sobbing and crying while I am writing this.
Sun conjuct sun
Sun conjunct pluto
Moon trine pluto
Venus conjunct pluto
Mars conjunct sun
Pluto conjunct pluto
And a few more please advice

That's horrible. Not that you met someone who have a strong connection with but the fact you are dreaming about it in your mind. Remember your vows and stay your course, marriage isn't a joke.

Posted by starlover

My dad said to me once that there is lots of people out there for us, but you don't look.

This

I'm sure there are other people out there I might have a connection with or feel strongly attracted to but I'm not open to that. I'm happy where I'm at and who I'm with regardless of all his annoying traits.

If you were happy in your marriage you wouldn't have been open to this new attraction. You need to do some soul searching and figure out what it is you actually want...and actually you cut contact with this person when you do it because they should not be a factor in your decision. If you allow them to be you will probably regret it one day.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by starlover
.......as long as it doesnt turn into an obsession.....?

I don't know. I think it's best to just not even be anywhere near it before it ever gets near to that kind of stage.

I just feel like when I find myself striking up an attraction with another woman, I'm not going to be automatically questioning the happiness of my marriage. Then again I've never been married so this is pure speculation.

click to expand

To be attracted to someone else is natural and you can't really help that.

But you can help being open to it and giving it this kind of thought. In her words she is "sobbing and crying" over it

(Lol)

Posted by YellowSubmarine
This sounds like lust, not love.

And I get it - wanting something so badly, and not being able to have it makes you want it even more.

If you value your marriage, keep it in your pants.

Agreed. Fact is, if you hadn't been married and met this new guy, you may have had a week-end fling and realised that you were totally wrong for each other. You don't know.

I ended a marriage because I was in love with someone else. In that process I told this other guy to stay away(I didn't string him along. I told him that he should forget about me, that I needed to tend to my marriage.) I felt I owed it to myself, my husband and the other guy to figure out my marriage as a first priority.

I really tried to make it work with my husband, we even went to counselling, but after several months, I filed for divorce. This way I have no feelings of regret - I know I did everything I could, and that is worth a lot. There was no ill feelings between me and my husband and we remained very close friends for as long as he lived(unfortunately he past away a few years later).

And also: you are not the only one in this who are married. The other guy has his own commitments. Think about that.

It seems to me you really need to tend to your marriage at this point, and tbh, if you claim to be doing that already, try a lot harder. I'm sorry, I know very well from my own experiance that it's easier said than done, but it's something I strongly argue that you need to do. Give it your all. If you know that you did everything you could, you can feel peace, and not before that - at least if you function even slightest bit like me. You owe it to yourself, to your husband and to the other guy.

I wish you all the best! Good luck! 🙂

Thanks guys! My husband is very comfortable to be with, he is the only guy I have ever been with married twenty years now.
I am the only one who could understand what is going on. I have never felt this crazy day dreaming some fuzzy warm feeling and even obsession and it seems like this is taking control over my life. To impress this person I have gone back to school and transformed my looks and manners, but Iam not approaching him in a way that I would do anything wrong, but I don't want to live for him either.
Don't judge me please just help me your advice is opening my eyes..

Posted by nazasif
I am sobbing and crying while I am writing this.

Posted by nazasif
Don't judge me please just help me your advice is opening my eyes..

"You even went as far as looking into the synastry chart"

yep.

Posted by Romz
If you want something else and feel a part of you need to be fulfilled in someone else....then tell your husband.

If your husband loves you and is willing to look the other way then by all means continue.

Just don't expect your side of the bed to be cold when you get back. All is fair in love and war.


I don't condone cheating but I also think its unhealthy to go behind a persons back and get what you desire, while they remain faithful to you. Discuss your options. Maybe you can find that giving him a hall pass as well as you getting one as well might be the solution to your desires.


Often times....when you feel like something is forbidden, you want it more. Most of the time when I've wanted something. It was short lived and nothing more than a fap couldn't handle.

Basically a case of, what's on their plate looks better...
I agree most of the time this is not the best route to follow.

I'm fact none of the time, is this the route to follow.

If you're not happy then try to fix it, if not then set yourselves free.

Don't hurt innocent people, it's not their fault and they don't deserve it.

This is how I feel I don't have any controll over it. I am content with my husband, but very disturbed by this other man. I have no intentions of cheating.

Posted by nazasif
This is how I feel I don't have any controll over it. I am content with my husband, but very disturbed by this other man. I have no intentions of cheating.

So what do you want from us? Why are you here, what do you want to hear from us?

Posted by Rambunctious76
I want to say it, but am afraid to say the name...but this scenario seems really familiar...

Yep...it's the nut job gem.

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/no-sex-just-love-sin-5401073/?p=2#5401188

Posted by tiziani

I don't think being attracted to someone else has to be a reflection on the marriage.

I can see this .... in fact, I would think most people who break up did so because they found themselves attracted to someone else ... while still thinking their marriage was in good shape.

It's not until this attraction becomes apparent, that you realize the condition of your current relationship, a lot of times.

So, I think it's irrational to hang a tag on an attraction as "unhappy marriage"

to topic ...... you're infatuated.


It would be very sensible of you to realize the difference.

Posted by Arielle83
I'm married, but in love with Josh Duhamel!

Oh no!

😄

Sounds a lot like another Gem9 situation _—

You can't have it all and something's gotta give here. If you love your husband and say he's a good man, you need to end all contact with this man. This is temptation and temptation is very real. But you and this other man are playing out a fantasy. You wouldn't like it if your husband was staying in contact with a woman he found himself wildly attracted to. So don't do unto him what you don't want done unto you. The only solution here is to end all contact.