advice on how to proceed....

Please be kind, was dating a cancer, we had a blow out that made him go into his shell BC it brought up a lot of old issues for him, hes now going to therapy to help. He doesn't want a relationship cuz he has to learn to trust among other things...but still wanted to be friends, even tho it was hard. This was very hard for me but I accepted it.
Then he kinda jerked me around for a bit and didn't wanna see me..then we ran into each other and he txts me later abt how much seeing me made him miss me and he was sorry for being a jerk, we have so much in common wanted to work thru it and be friends. I was happy but also upset cuz I'm not a yoyo!! I said I missed him too but didn't want the rug pulled out from under me again, could he ensure that wouldn't happen..he is now MIA. Has not responded. Wtf? So now he doesn't wanna work thru it? This is hurting my heart. Should I try to reach out again or just let it go...

I dont really wanna lose him. Hes an incredible person. Never met anyone like him. And we were actually amazing together before he clammed up.

No its grief not guilt. Just not sure why he'd say he wants to be friends and misses me but then just ignores me again..sighh. Diminishing returns yes. Thx

I feel real sorry for u and it's such a shame. I have done this with my current gf but she's accepted me back twice due to me having some major problems with myself and wanting to punish myself blah blah but I suppose in some way part of me still hasn't learnt nd that's because I wasn't taught a lesson. Best advice is to make him aware your heart is breaking and you can't deal with the pain no more. I don't know you but just want what's best and the only way your gonna feel happy is in a year's time being yourself and enjoying life but not with him. He will probably thank you for it. Cancers try hold on to things as much as they can, not realising the damage they do. Let go of him and then it will be over because it will just keep going on.
Hope everything works out for you.
Regards
Alfabutt

Thanks guys..i did reach out and he said he didn't respond cuz he was embarrassed and didn't know what to say cuz he caused a lot of damage..that he wanted me in his life but didn't know how to pick up the pieces. Etc.. Hes pretty vocal when he wants to be. It was nice to hear, not sure how much to believe really tho..

I feel like if I tell him hes breaking my heart it'll just give him too much power, and ill be too vulnerable..

You shouldn't feel like that tho box. U should never feel a person has power over u in a relationship. What u just admitted there is enough to call it.

I hear what yr saying, but in general I dont feel he has the power..i just dont wanna give too much away if he doesn't deserve to hear it, ya know?

Posted by boxcarmirnta
i just dont wanna give too much away if he doesn't deserve to hear it, ya know?

It sounds like he doesn't tbh.

Posted by boxcarmirnta
I feel like if I tell him hes breaking my heart it'll just give him too much power, and ill be too vulnerable..

Why don't you ever take anyone's advice? Cancers don't do power struggles and that's what your making it out to be. Too much work.

All cancers are not decent just like all Asian people aren't smart. I agree. But can you cut this camp 2 shit out? Because no cancer I've met is completely like your "camp 2". And you can't mention this shit about a camp 2 after someone has admitted that they did the same shit to their cancer when the cancer was being nice and loving in the beginning. That's common reaction-cancers just know how to take it to where it will hurt. From my experience it's not cuz they want to hurt it's because they're avoiding the person who keeps hurting them. And when a cancer gives you that good lovin then avoids you--that's how you come to a "camp 2 cancer"

Posted by StarChild63

Posted by boxcarmirnta
I feel like if I tell him hes breaking my heart it'll just give him too much power, and ill be too vulnerable..

Why don't you ever take anyone's advice? Cancers don't do power struggles and that's what your making it out to be. Too much work.

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Some do actually mainly the 'less evolved' ones. Had one tell me when I answered his text I "gave away all my power'...literally what he said.

Yea that comment has been misconstrued...it is NOT a power struggle at all...i just meant I didn't wanna be too vulnerable. And I do take ppls advice..anyway we hung out yesterday..we were both scared but it was good and we hugged and then I was sad to just be friends. He's dealing with a lot..