Are Cance men attracted to CRAZIES?!

So if you've read my previous posts you will see I had a weird "relationship" with a cancer for the better part of 2015. He told me how he was in an abusive relationship and suffers from PTSD from it.
We haven't spoken in 3 months. I went to a mutual friends house last night and she confided in me that he mentioned talking to this girl. Then he mentioned she's kinda crazy, and she's a hairdresser and for whatever reason he's dated or been attracted to about 7 different hair dressers over the years and all of them were crazy in one form or another...And now his destructive behavior towards himself has escalated and it worries me so much.
He usually smokes weed everyday and was trying to break out into that industry. Well now since we stopped talking- his request, our friend said he doesn't even smoke weed anymore and has been doing shrooms and acid pretty frequently. This scares me.
My question is are Cancer guys attracted to crazies?! It's like... I think when he tried to make an issue about me touching him by saying I slapped him, I'm now thinking he was seeing if I was "crazy" and would flip out on him.
But I didn't. I did the opposite it basically clamming up myself and didn't say a word to him.
I wonder if because I reacted that way- like a normal human being when they are hurt, and didn't lash out at him, he wasn't attracted to me. And therefore didn't want anything to do with me.
Because why else would he be back with a freaking crazy person again when he told me everything horrible about the one prior to me? And his self destructive behavior?!
Am I being crazy for thinking he really is attracted to crazies and because I'm not, he lost interest?

This thread is Beauty Shop nuts.

Posted by seaclovers
Am I being crazy for thinking he really is attracted to crazies and because I'm not, he lost interest?

Would that make you feel better about yourself if that was the case?

Haha you know it does... Haha but oddly boring in the same aspect haha

Heh! I'd say that applies more to less-mature crabs, but you definitely are onto something. It's subtle. It's not something you'll really read about when looking up Cancer males, but it IS commonplace. This doesn't necessarily mean that they are attracted to crazies, but their nurturing nature make Cancer males the captain-save-a-hoe's of the Zodiac. They are going to be drawn to women who need be shown which way faces up.

Just ask any Cancer male to show you pics of their ideal woman, and you are likely going to notice a trend with the women they pick. I can go on forever with what you will find, so instead I will mention that your run-of-the-mill, everyday woman will likely not be on this list.

Boredom will also dam the cardinal Cancer's waters. Not a good idea at all. Crazy girls bring stimulation by keeping a Cancer's waters moving. Sure it might be tumultuous, but at least the emotions are flowing, which is important for crabs.

Posted by Koniucha
What exactly caused the PTSD?

Relationship PTSD I'm guessing I had a therapist tell me I had it too.

Posted by Koniucha
What exactly caused the PTSD?

I can't answer for him, but my PTSD has been linked to being emotionally traumatized in an abusive relationship. I am going to guess this was his case as well.

I think @starwars brings up a good point. Though craziness and emotional are often considered the same thing, a mature-minded crab knows the difference, and those into the former should probably be avoided until they learn that you don't need a broken women to keep stimulated, and not every cray-cray out there wants to be saved. That is actually not mine. Those words came from a Gemini girlfriend of mine who helped me to see that..

Posted by Crabra
Heh! I'd say that applies more to less-mature crabs, but you definitely are onto something. It's subtle. It's not something you'll really read about when looking up Cancer males, but it IS commonplace. This doesn't necessarily mean that they are attracted to crazies, but their nurturing nature make Cancer males the captain-save-a-hoe's of the Zodiac. They are going to be drawn to women who need be shown which way faces up.

Just ask any Cancer male to show you pics of their ideal woman, and you are likely going to notice a trend with the women they pick. I can go on forever with what you will find, so instead I will mention that your run-of-the-mill, everyday woman will likely not be on this list.


Boredom will also dam the cardinal Cancer's waters. Not a good idea at all. Crazy girls bring stimulation by keeping a Cancer's waters moving. Sure it might be tumultuous, but at least the emotions are flowing, which is important for crabs.

So I'm crazy too? The crab is attracted to me haha maybe I'm crazy that sex was gonna happen but didn't and he's still intrigued? Hahahaha

Posted by Arielle83
I love being shocked and disgusted, hence why I'm here, at dxp, being entertained when I'm bored.

Exactly what Arielle says. From what I've seen, Cancers love the occult....anything weird, gross, dark, perverse. BUT in relationships, I cannot see them actually dating anyone crazy. The three Cancers I have experienced, were all sexually into insane women, but only dated domestic and calm ones.

I would never date one ever again, but they fascinate me and I am ALWAYS drawn to them. If I were to have a female-female romantic experience, I would probably want it to be with a Cancer...just out of curiosity.

Posted by SensitiveBlues

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Arielle83
I love being shocked and disgusted, hence why I'm here, at dxp, being entertained when I'm bored.

Exactly what Arielle says. From what I've seen, Cancers love the occult....anything weird, gross, dark, perverse. BUT in relationships, I cannot see them actually dating anyone crazy. The three Cancers I have experienced, were all sexually into insane women, but only dated domestic and calm ones.

I would never date one ever again, but they fascinate me and I am ALWAYS drawn to them. If I were to have a female-female romantic experience, I would probably want it to be with a Cancer...just out of curiosity.

every lesbian wants a crab wife.

click to expand

Hahah really?! That's too funny. It's just what my instinct tells me I would want in a woman. Maybe it's some backward Fruedian thing cus my dad is a Cancer and...woah this just got way too deep for me. I should call my therapist about this maybe. Hahah.

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Arielle83
I love being shocked and disgusted, hence why I'm here, at dxp, being entertained when I'm bored.

Exactly what Arielle says. From what I've seen, Cancers love the occult....anything weird, gross, dark, perverse. BUT in relationships, I cannot see them actually dating anyone crazy. The three Cancers I have experienced, were all sexually into insane women, but only dated domestic and calm ones.

I would never date one ever again, but they fascinate me and I am ALWAYS drawn to them. If I were to have a female-female romantic experience, I would probably want it to be with a Cancer...just out of curiosity.

click to expand

Ah, but can the two co-exist in the same person? Or is everyone who is into the dark, taboo, perverse styles of sex on the crazy side?

Posted by Crabra

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Arielle83
I love being shocked and disgusted, hence why I'm here, at dxp, being entertained when I'm bored.

Exactly what Arielle says. From what I've seen, Cancers love the occult....anything weird, gross, dark, perverse. BUT in relationships, I cannot see them actually dating anyone crazy. The three Cancers I have experienced, were all sexually into insane women, but only dated domestic and calm ones.

I would never date one ever again, but they fascinate me and I am ALWAYS drawn to them. If I were to have a female-female romantic experience, I would probably want it to be with a Cancer...just out of curiosity.

Ah, but can the two co-exist in the same person? Or is everyone who is into the dark, taboo, perverse styles of sex on the crazy side?

click to expand

My ex explained to me that he went for crazy chicks who he knew he would never date, but that were easy and would go along with whatever he wanted sexually, but he said in order for him to get turned on and be really into it sexually, he had to get into some dark freaky shit with them. With me, (we had a pretty loving relationship), he didn't really feel the need to do much of the freaky shit and told me it's the first time he's been able to have "normal" sex with someone. To which of course, I demanded he show me the dark side so I could see what it was like.

Some 50 Shades of Grey shit.

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Crabra

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Arielle83
I love being shocked and disgusted, hence why I'm here, at dxp, being entertained when I'm bored.

Exactly what Arielle says. From what I've seen, Cancers love the occult....anything weird, gross, dark, perverse. BUT in relationships, I cannot see them actually dating anyone crazy. The three Cancers I have experienced, were all sexually into insane women, but only dated domestic and calm ones.

I would never date one ever again, but they fascinate me and I am ALWAYS drawn to them. If I were to have a female-female romantic experience, I would probably want it to be with a Cancer...just out of curiosity.

Ah, but can the two co-exist in the same person? Or is everyone who is into the dark, taboo, perverse styles of sex on the crazy side?

My ex explained to me that he went for crazy chicks who he knew he would never date, but that were easy and would go along with whatever he wanted sexually, but he said in order for him to get turned on and be really into it sexually, he had to get into some dark freaky shit with them. With me, (we had a pretty loving relationship), he didn't really feel the need to do much of the freaky shit and told me it's the first time he's been able to have "normal" sex with someone. To which of course, I demanded he show me the dark side so I could see what it was like.

Some 50 Shades of Grey shit.

click to expand

I can relate to opening up easier with people you have no intention of having a future with, and it being much more difficult to do so with someone you're getting close to. With the former, it can be done while keeping the shell intact. If that guy is anything like me, just because he didn't show what lies in that dark realm doesn't mean he didn't want to. It truly is coming completely out of the shell, and being totally vulnerable. These sexual pleasures can be used to do some serious damage to the crab.

The being ok with "normal sex" is a red flag. I just don't believe a person is going to be happy having to keep those darker sexual desires in the closet. There's got to be a happy medium there.

They're often insecure & lack healthy self esteem therefore date down...for a myriad of reasons but they all fall under the same umbrella of scared they'll scare the good ones， so they need to be needed in order to feel safe that the object of their affection won't leave them before they leave them.

It's them not u girl don't even stress it

Posted by Crabra

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Crabra

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Arielle83
I love being shocked and disgusted, hence why I'm here, at dxp, being entertained when I'm bored.

Exactly what Arielle says. From what I've seen, Cancers love the occult....anything weird, gross, dark, perverse. BUT in relationships, I cannot see them actually dating anyone crazy. The three Cancers I have experienced, were all sexually into insane women, but only dated domestic and calm ones.

I would never date one ever again, but they fascinate me and I am ALWAYS drawn to them. If I were to have a female-female romantic experience, I would probably want it to be with a Cancer...just out of curiosity.

Ah, but can the two co-exist in the same person? Or is everyone who is into the dark, taboo, perverse styles of sex on the crazy side?

My ex explained to me that he went for crazy chicks who he knew he would never date, but that were easy and would go along with whatever he wanted sexually, but he said in order for him to get turned on and be really into it sexually, he had to get into some dark freaky shit with them. With me, (we had a pretty loving relationship), he didn't really feel the need to do much of the freaky shit and told me it's the first time he's been able to have "normal" sex with someone. To which of course, I demanded he show me the dark side so I could see what it was like.

Some 50 Shades of Grey shit.

I can relate to opening up easier with people you have no intention of having a future with, and it being much more difficult to do so with someone you're getting close to. With the former, it can be done while keeping the shell intact. If that guy is anything like me, just because he didn't show what lies in that dark realm doesn't mean he didn't want to. It truly is coming completely out of the shell, and being totally vulnerable. These sexual pleasures can be used to do some serious damage to the crab.

The being ok with "normal sex" is a red flag. I just don't believe a person is going to be happy having to keep those darker sexual desires in the closet. There's got to be a happy medium there.

click to expand

Totally agreed. That's why I tried hard to make him feel comfortable and made sure he knew I wouldn't judge whatever he was into. Eventually he let me into that world too. Still he seemed very happy when our sex was more "vanilla" too.

Posted by FutureSeeker
Really? We're throwing around PTSD now? My biggest pet peeve is people who mis-use that term. Even professionals do.
PTSD is NOT easily diagnosed- meaning, just cause someone or someone stresses you out or makes you "anxious" does not mean you have PTSD.
What is the traumatic event?? AND the traumatic event according to the DSM 5 would be experiencing or witnessing something grotesque or to the point of what you experienced or witnessed threatened the integrity of your life. And THEN the person has to have sympotomology fitting other criteria.
And THEN it is severe enough to impact the person's ability to function in one of their major life areas.
However,
PTSD is treatable- so if you say you are diagnosed with it- then get treatment- evidenced-based treatment (Prolonged Exposure, Cognitive Processing Therapy, EMDR).

I've worked with too many combat vets and sexual assault victims to not be ticked off when PTSD is thrown around as a weapon to hurt a person's character.

--off my soapbox now.

How do you know it is being misused? Have you personally interacted with the people who have mentioned it in this thread, myself included? Do you know our history, including upbringing? How about being in a relationship with one of these individuals. Do you have any experience with that?

I understand your point. Misdiagnosis happens all the time in the psych clinic, but your own personal experiences with this doesn't give you the leeway to tell people on here that they've been misdiagnosed unless you, yourself have the credentials to do so, and also personally evaluate these individuals. PTSD doesn't apply only to service veterans and sex abuse victims. In the case with relationships, THIS IS WHERE it causes dysfunction. Outside of a relationship, these individuals appear very put together, in order, and function well in everyday society. In a relationship, they and their partners deal with some really heavy duty shit. The same could be said for combat vets and sex abuse victims as well. So long as they are not triggered, they are just fine.

All in all, I'm not trying to invalidate you, or your experience, and I think we agree for the most part about a misdiagnosis. I just get equally ticked off when people use their experience to invalidate the experiences of others when they don't even know them.

Maybe addicted to drama...do you know much about his childhood? Was it hectic or calm, safe and nurturing? He may equate love to drama and instability.

He had a physically abusive gf prior to me who would leave bruises on him and stalk him. It went on for months before he filed a restraining order on her.

If I even gently touched him he would jump and he would tell me it's because he would think I "was going to hit him". He also claimed I "hit him" when I simply did a flirty touch on Halloween which is when we stopped talking. I couldn't understand why every time I would touch him he would flip out as if I hit him or claimed I hit him.
He said when she stalked him she would go to his house jump over his coded gate and bang on his door for hours, calling him dozens of times a day, texts voicemails etc. she would bang on his windows and he basically said he had to hide his truck so she wouldn't think he was home. He couldn't turn the lights on, and would have to hide in his room when she would come around. Then if he ever gave her a moment to reconcile, she would pin him down and hit him and verbally abuse him too.
He was so traumatically effected that for 6 months he couldn't leave his house because he was afraid of her and basically feared his life. He called the cops on her several times but her dad is a cop.
He finally had to file a restraining order on her.
He still has issues meeting people and he REFUSES to let anyone in his house.
I've been in his place two times over the course of 6 months. He's place was very well kept, but even his mom said he would tell her she wasn't allowed in.
I think it's because it's his "safe place"
Anyways, I'm 100% certain he has PTSD because of the way he would react with me over normal human interactions. Being jumpy, accusatory, and in a constant fear for his life basically unless he was around close friends.

As far as his childhood his dad wasn't the most loving person and his stepdad basically hated him and wouldn't allow him to come over to visit his mom or for the holidays. Why? Because he had piercings and gauged ears...
His mom is super loving and I adore her but even she admitted that his life and relationships with fathers/ father figures was NOT IDEAL growing up.
I can see if his mom was crazy why he's attracted to crazy women, but it's the male figures in his life who were the "not so loving" ones.
He does love his mother and he does treat her like a queen- as much as he can.
So I don't get his taste in dating women.
But he's also 26 whereas I am 28... Dunno if thats a factor

Posted by FutureSeeker
You may have misunderstood my post. I wasn't making assumptions on anyone's experience, and in fact take a similar stance.

My apologies if I misunderstood. Hopefully I didn't come off too abrasive. I was trying to understand your PoV, and perhaps a word or two played the wrong chord. 😉

I used to go for crazy hottie types when i was young (early 20's), but it only takes one to put a person on the straight and narrow and now I recognize and avoid those types pretty easily.