Aries woman and Cancer man - need advice! (Page 2)

Point is... ah I'm so bad at getting to it... commitment and shit is established in the beginning of the relationship and it begins with trust. My man is going through shit... I give him space he give me lots of loving. I'd say our relationship is fully engaged in that he loves me as much as I love him.

She can go look for another man but it won't solve her relationship issues... cause I guarantee she would have the same issues if she jumped in blindly now.

Not saying she shouldn't go look for someone else if she's unhappy. Just saying there is no reason for her not to stay either if she wanted 🙂

Posted by silentkiller

Posted by tiki33
His not loving himself has nothing to do with you and you can't fix him by giving him more and more love so he can love himself so he can love you.

You must take a break, take a step back and take a few weeks to change the unhealthy habits you've developed with him and developed over him

It seems worse than what it really is. He'll be fine, you'll be okay, he'll be back, and things will smooth itself out on it's own time until then focus on your happiness so you can feel good again.

If you want to be the one to reach out first then you must get emotionally focused and feel emotionally balanced and happy again before you attempt to connect.

I can relate to a lot of the issues in this post. Even though the circumstances are very different, the issues are the same on some Things..
How can you say, he doesn't love himself? Maybe he is just not the right man for this woman? (I'm not trying to be rude at all -hopefully you will get my tone, purely quizical)
I believe what caster has written about the man himself taking the time to grow, is a very very solid fact, and maybe this will cause some people, to outgrow each other. But what makes you say, that he doesn't love himself, instead of him just not loving her enough? (not trying to be rude to the op either, hope you don't take it the wrong way🙂 )

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You make a valid point SK... I'm going to make an assumption an say she was making an assumption? Not sure I read anything about him not loving himself... but a lack of self confidence (ie. not loving oneself) can be a reason why he's struggling with juggling the relationship and his life... and usually is the case. Also, I've known some Cancer men to have low self esteem because they're really hard on themselves.

Yes - he told me he needs to love himself and become whole. He is SO hard on himself and can't forgive himself for things that I would just brush off my shoulders. He wallows and I truly think he feels like he actually deserves the pain.

I am very confident with most aspects of my life but romantic relationships? Nose dive down into the ground... something I have worked on in the past and quite clearly need to keep working on. He may not be the right guy for me, I don't know. When this man is his usual self (75% of the time), he is a god send and I am always giggling and happy and learning things from him, etc. It's when he gets into his dark, moody, distant moods that I am like WTF?! It's sooooo different from me so I don't really understand it.

Posted by xtina
Point is... ah I'm so bad at getting to it... commitment and shit is established in the beginning of the relationship and it begins with trust. My man is going through shit... I give him space he give me lots of loving. I'd say our relationship is fully engaged in that he loves me as much as I love him.

She can go look for another man but it won't solve her relationship issues... cause I guarantee she would have the same issues if she jumped in blindly now.

Not saying she shouldn't go look for someone else if she's unhappy. Just saying there is no reason for her not to stay either if she wanted 🙂

Hi xtina, I wasn't defining commitment as marriage. "Commitment and shit is established in the beginning." Best way to go there. As for this lady and her woes, it's really hard to tell from 1 disagreement but it sounded like a relationship that was always rocky. And those relationships rarely last and when they do, is it really any good? I just think a lot of great women hold on to bad relationships b/c they a) have invested feeling in the guy and b) don't want to be alone. If this is a pattern and that pattern makes her unhappy, that's the biggest red flag to me. For someone else, who wants less from a man, we've got no problem here.

Posted by Este8

Posted by xtina
Point is... ah I'm so bad at getting to it... commitment and shit is established in the beginning of the relationship and it begins with trust. My man is going through shit... I give him space he give me lots of loving. I'd say our relationship is fully engaged in that he loves me as much as I love him.

She can go look for another man but it won't solve her relationship issues... cause I guarantee she would have the same issues if she jumped in blindly now.

Not saying she shouldn't go look for someone else if she's unhappy. Just saying there is no reason for her not to stay either if she wanted 🙂

Hi xtina, I wasn't defining commitment as marriage. "Commitment and shit is established in the beginning." Best way to go there. As for this lady and her woes, it's really hard to tell from 1 disagreement but it sounded like a relationship that was always rocky. And those relationships rarely last and when they do, is it really any good? I just think a lot of great women hold on to bad relationships b/c they a) have invested feeling in the guy and b) don't want to be alone. If this is a pattern and that pattern makes her unhappy, that's the biggest red flag to me. For someone else, who wants less from a man, we've got no problem here.

click to expand

Okay, sorry skimming really does me no good LOL.

Yeah, you're right. I think that's where Tiki comes in and is better at articulating it then I am and that comes down to loving yourself and getting things done for yourself first before jumping into a relationship.

Posted by PRChick1845
Yes - he told me he needs to love himself and become whole. He is SO hard on himself and can't forgive himself for things that I would just brush off my shoulders. He wallows and I truly think he feels like he actually deserves the pain.

I am very confident with most aspects of my life but romantic relationships? Nose dive down into the ground... something I have worked on in the past and quite clearly need to keep working on. He may not be the right guy for me, I don't know. When this man is his usual self (75% of the time), he is a god send and I am always giggling and happy and learning things from him, etc. It's when he gets into his dark, moody, distant moods that I am like WTF?! It's sooooo different from me so I don't really understand it.

You know what I went through something similar with my Cancer in the beginning but told him straight out that if I'm not doing something malicious or purposefully hurtful I don't deserve to be treated like that. I said he's allowed to have his dark days feel sad whatever... but if he doesn't feel like telling me it's ok but I don't deserve the bad treatment and that if he did it again I wouldn't stick around.

He hasn't done it since.

Okay now. Forget him this isn't about him it's about you.

If you know yourself and love yourself and understand yourself it will be easier to set the boundaries and perimeters of your relationship. What you will and won't stand for. Bad treatment like taking things out on you is a good start. Wasting your time is another good one.

Trust me, know and love yourself and everything else will get easier.

let him put a ring on it..........lmao.

Posted by CluelessCancer
also you nagging and annoying him to hang out with you, jesus christ, get some self esteem. ewww....

look men listen to action not words...if he's not hanging out with you...find someone else to hang out with...he'll find you.

yup as soon as you get busy on their ass they will def come looking for you. Detach yourself. Fall back. Reevalaute you. Get your edge back. But never ever beg him to see or acknowledge you again. Thats what I did with my Cancer and he wanted to start a fam with me once we reconnected.
But my feelings were dead already at the point.

I don't think this is a situation where you should detach. Detachment never goes well when you were in the wring. Saying this strictly based on what you made available in your post.
You're doing too much complaining and not enough rewarding for what he does do. This is true for all men especially cancers. Cancers will work to meet your needs based on what they think you need an will adapt to what you think you need. Does that make sense?
be happy with what he does. Reward him for it. He will do more and eventually get it right.
don't to him but don't deliberately make him has. Allow for an opportunity for him o see you appreciate him.

"How can you say, he doesn't love himself?"

I said that because PRCHICK stated in one of her post

"He has posted a few things online implying that he needs to learn to love himself in order to fly and other sappy things that teenage girls would post. Lol.

If he's having issues with loving himself and feel he needs to learn to love himself then surely he can't give love to someone when he feels he need to learn how to give love to himself.

His not loving himself is a by product of him not being able to love PR the way he know he should.

He's aware that he's not giving enough and at the same time he's aware that he's giving all he can give to the relationship.

Posted by PRChick1845
Yep, Tiki, I pretty much dug my own grave... my mother would kill me if she knew how much I was giving and giving and giving... the man always had clean laundry at my apartment including a supply of PJ pants and slippers I bought for him to keep at my place, he had coffee made for him every morning, he lounged around my home for as long as he wanted(my apartment is much bigger and nicer than his so he was comfortable, I planned a whole amazing song and dance for his bday last year, the list goes on and on. And he was too scared to call me his "girlfriend." Never said it once. There wasn't anyone else, of that I am sure, but he just wasn't ever giving me his 100% . And my god it's all I wanted. SO badly (as it shows.)

I am going to get my sh-t back together where I am my own #1 and he can get busy fixing and learning to love himself. You're right - I can't save him, I can only save myself.

PR honestly, you seem like a really wonderful person and will be a wonderful girlfriend for the right guy.

Use what you've learned to help you forge ahead in your new relationship (if this one doesn't work out).

It's really admirable to love someone even when they don't really love you back the same way but it's not necessary to subject yourself to that kind of apathetic half ass treatment.

You deserve to be loved and the longer you remain in a situation with a guy whose doling out crumbs the worse you're going to feel. The nagging neediness to receive love back will plague you through out the duration of your relationship with him. You'll be working your ass off for nothing.

What you want-need-desire from him just isn't possible because he won't do it unless he feel he's going to lose you and even then he falls right back into his happy medium where he's emotionally comfortable and you're emotionally uncomfortable.

Whatever happens in the end you'll be fine, you'll survive.

It's actually kinda weird to see a clingy Aries woman. My mom is the exact opposite. So chilled out and so much fun.

Be an Aries.

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by pinklibra


I don't like this sign with mines, I??ll just be honest. They are better as friends in my opinion. A fiery, blunt, fast pace Aries has NO business going after the sensitive, caring, and moody Cancer.

I'll have to agree with you here. I can't ever see myself pairing up with a Libra woman. Not because I dislike them, but some of their operating modes (at least most of the ones I've known well) clash with my sense of fair play. No offense, but I tend to find them to be manipulators and I'd rather not deal with it.

I think between the two cardinal matches, Aries has a better chance than Libra with a Cancer man if they can temper that impatience as you pointed out.

click to expand

Nope i agree. I so wish I could get along in romantic relationship with a Cancer because they are so cool at first, very thoughtful and loving. But with the Cancer men i met it's like they start to second guess everything including me, which makes me feel pressured and constantly put to the test. Ugh. I hate test.lol. But I have many Cancer friends, love them to death, just not interested in dating them. Only one Cancer guy i would even give a thought to dating, and he's been my friend since i was like 13, but he's damn near married, so nope.lol

Lol. Oh boy, she's more brave than I. When I see a guy I like I'm nowhere near that forward unless I'm certain he's crushing on me. If I know for a fact he's crushing on me and he's just being shy, well I??ll think that's cute and I would use my silly approach to bring him out of his shell. You turning your head on that kiss, well I??ll be honest she was brave to try. Lately the Libra women I??ve read about on this forum are very direct, I think the Pisces in my moon stops me from being so bold without knowing where I stand with a guy. The cancer I talked about that knew me since I was 13 used the same silly tactic I use when I'm shy, we both joked and cracked on each other because I think we were both shy about our attraction. However little did we know 13 years later we??d be the best of friends. When we see each other there's still that love; like above all else he's one of my closes most loyal friends.

Actually - I have no idea what moon or anything else I have... how does one find that out? I'm March 21

Ok... what any of this means is beyond me lol

Zodiac in degrees
Sun Aries 1.21
Moon Libra 17.09
Mercury Pisces 4.31
Venus Pisces 27.12
Mars Aries 3.51
Jupiter Libra 6.02 R
Saturn Libra 6.50 R
Uranus Scorpio 29.59 R
Neptune Sagittarius 24.52
Pluto Libra 23.35 R
Lilith Scorpio 9.11
Asc node Leo 9.46

WHOA. Just looked into this further... no wonder I don't have a fighting chance in the world. I'm an Aries with a Libra moon - I am straight up screwed! haha

Posted by PRChick1845
WHOA. Just looked into this further... no wonder I don't have a fighting chance in the world. I'm an Aries with a Libra moon - I am straight up screwed! haha

WOAH! Damn right! lol Yay Libras!! With those placements you'd probably melt well with a Libra or another Aries.

Well this explains a lot... lol

This is a curiously difficult position, presenting a problem between the emotional and mental natures. You are ambitious, eager to get ahead and anxious to please people, with a sort of personality that seems to reach out to others as if you are in need of support and guidance and affection from someone or from many people. Despite a nature which in many ways is highly individualized, you are strangely dependent on others - can be thrown off your balance by lack of sympathy, or by coldness, or hardness, or lack of consideration in those around you. This is odd of you because you are perfectly capable of ignoring the feelings, opinions, and wishes of others when you get a set idea in your head. You go ahead in spite of man, God, and the devil, let the chips fall where they may - and like as not they fall right back on you, to your great confusion.

Really ? A libra moon? Did you put your details right?

I'm a bit confused. I hate when horoscope reading use too many damn metaphors, just speak it laymen??s terms??_dang, forget all that other bull.

Yep, I'm sure I'm Libra moon - just re-calculated... it makes sense actually looking more into it:

The combination of your Sun and Moon signs produces contradictions in your makeup because these signs are precisely opposite one another, a full 180 degrees apart. Aries is naturally independent; the Libra Moon is sometimes very dependent. Thus, there is a strong balancing element to this combination sugging an Aries Sun that is uncommonly open to outside influences. This is a difficult position presenting a problem between the emotional and mental nature. You are ambitious and eager to please people, with the sort of personality that seems to reach out to others as if you are in need of reassurance and guidance. Your nature is highly individualized, yet you are just as highly dependent on support and sympathy. The contradiction in your nature is that you value your freedom intensely, and while it would appear that your need for support could even result in you being dominated by another, this is never likely to be the case. You can ignore the feelings, opinions, and wishes of others when you get an idea in your head. The ability to concentrate on one thing for a prolonged period is very difficult for you. You can be daydreaming even when by all appearances you are hard at work. The dramatic side of your nature will always make it hard to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground and remain totally practical. Much of the strong executive skills of the Aries Sun become modified by the artistically balanced Libra Moon.

"This is a curiously difficult position, presenting a problem between the emotional and mental natures. You are ambitious, eager to get ahead and anxious to please people, with a sort of personality that seems to reach out to others as if you are in need of support and guidance and affection from someone or from many people. Despite a nature which in many ways is highly individualized, you are strangely dependent on others - can be thrown off your balance by lack of sympathy, or by coldness, or hardness, or lack of consideration in those around you. This is odd of you because you are perfectly capable of ignoring the feelings, opinions, and wishes of others when you get a set idea in your head. You go ahead in spite of man, God, and the devil, let the chips fall where they may - and like as not they fall right back on you, to your great confusion."

Certainly explains a lot. Those chips fell right back on you. What's your next move PR?

I don't think I can go to him Tiki. I'm sitting back and taking time. He crushed me dumping me 5 hours before my bday dinner with friends. So selfish of him. And today is my actual bday... If he says that he can't love me or treat me the way I need/want/deserves to be treated, maybe he's right. He has a lot of work on himself to do in order to make himself happy and whole. I'm praying for him and sending him love from afar while working on my side of the street - for MYSELF. I pretty much think it's over and I'll never see him again. Which probably means he will pop up soon lol. Thoughts on the situation?

Posted by PRChick1845
I don't think I can go to him Tiki. I'm sitting back and taking time. He crushed me dumping me 5 hours before my bday dinner with friends. So selfish of him. And today is my actual bday... If he says that he can't love me or treat me the way I need/want/deserves to be treated, maybe he's right. He has a lot of work on himself to do in order to make himself happy and whole. I'm praying for him and sending him love from afar while working on my side of the street - for MYSELF. I pretty much think it's over and I'll never see him again. Which probably means he will pop up soon lol. Thoughts on the situation?

Happy b'day PRCHICK!

I wish I could give you definitive hope, something you can hold onto but I can't but what I will say is if you do your part, allow some time and space, work on your own issues, continue to send him loving energy the likelihood that he'll be back your way is high.

Be positive! Don't dwell in the worst scenarios of your situation. There is always a better chance he'll come back to resolve the issue with you.

Remember he's a slower thinker than you so when you get impatient remind yourself that pushing, nagging etc won't work b/c you've seen how pushing has negative effects on him and on the relationship.

First time break ups are never really over. Let at least 8 weeks go by before reaching out. Why that long b/c men/people tend to forget all the bad stuff when so much time has passed.

Hopefully he'll reach out to you first but if he doesn't and if you feel you need to reach out to him it's really important you get in a more positive emotional space/head space.

Well new friends... I got an email this morning at 930am. Thoughts? Thoughts? THOUGHTS?! His mentioning the "truth to my note" was about a note I put in his box of belongings that he picked up last Sunday. It said "I know you love me as much as I love you. It's a shame you can't allow yourself to be truly happy. I will miss you." Here is his email:

"So 3/21 is here. Perhaps the easiest day to remember, even for me. I would like wish you a happy birthday, in spite of what's happened. I have every confidence you will have a great birthday, immersed in the comfort/fun/shenanigans of your closest friends.

I also just wanted to mention that there was truth to your note, about my feelings and to what extent I allow myself to be happy. And while it is clear i have impediments and limitations to my own feelings, it is equally clear you do not - which is quite beautiful.

You don't need me to tell you that you are a stellar human being, full of goodness that flows effortlessly - with a heart whose compass could not be more true north. You have opened my eyes to many things and revived my soul in many ways. I care about you deeply and absolutely miss you. There is no question the positive impact you have made on my life and for that I am truly grateful.

From my point of view, I want you to know that I will always be here for you. Anytime.

Happy Birthday.

Give him time. Cancers need that time and space to figure shit out. If you love him and want him to be happy you will do the selfless act of letting him figuring that out first before he can go back to your relationship.

If you truly love him that is. If he really loves you he will be back.

Being happy is not the easiest thing.. it's the same thing as loving yourself completely enough where you don't need someone else's love. So you more than anyone should understand his predicament and it's not something that will be accomplished over night... maybe not even a year... who knows.

+1 Xtina

Beautiful email. He know you love him, that's clear, but he's not ready to love you back.

It's not enough that he know you love him, he must know he loves you more and I just feel that him loving you and being in love with you is the missing ingredient in your relationship with him.

No man truly wants to lose a good woman that revives his life but if he doesn't love you in the same way, if he can't give back to you just as much as he's receiving then he know he's just wasting your time.

You can't help him with this. He has to figure out for himself if he loves you and is in love with you or if he's just taking you for granted for all the powerful positive things you give to him and add to his life.

Wonderful email but nowhere in there did he say I love you. He said I care about you.

Don't respond back to him. Give him some time to figure it out. Plus absence makes the heart grow fonder. Give him the gift of missing you.

He actually did acknowledge he loves me (we havent said it to each other bc it's a hard subject for him - he told me that months ago). In the note I left him I said "I know you love me as much as I love you. It's a shame you can't allow yourself to me truly happy."

And his email said: I also just wanted to mention that there was truth to your note, about my feelings and to what extent I allow myself to be happy.

I wrote him back earlier thanking him for the heartfelt message as I really appreciated it and it made me smile on my bday. I also said I missed him, hoped he was well, and hope he's about to find happiness within himself. That's it and I'm leaving it at that. I visited my life coach again a few nights ago and am going to a great workshop tomorrow. I'm getting to a better place myself and am excited to do so... I wish the same for him from the bottom of my heart.

He didn't acknowledge it in that email/text to you did he?

As I said before I believe the missing ingredient is love, not just words, but actual real love that's demonstrated and given to you by him.

You said "I know you love me as much as I love you. It's a shame you can't allow yourself to me truly happy." he acknowledged "truth to your note, about my feelings and to what extent I allow myself to be happy."

What I'm getting is this. There is truth about him not allowing himself to be happy with you to the fullest. I didn't read anything about love and/or being in love with you.

Listen, I'm not going to read between his lines, if he doesn't say it directly then he ain't saying it at all.

Before I married I had my fair share of unavailable men. I've been in that weird position where I have to read into everything what I think and believe it is because he wasn't being transparent.

Having to read between the lines as to what a man is saying is confusing so I get it but he didn't acknowledge how he feels about you, instead he used how you felt about him to be vague about his feelings for you.

Unfortunately this is how it is with an emotionally unavailable man. There truly is never any solid evidence/demonstration that he loves you and is in love with you.

I know this is hard because you've invested so much of your time, possibly money and energy so it's truly hard to submit to reality.

I think somewhere along the way you'll have to admit that you've did all the loving in that relationship for the both of you and it didn't work. It's really hard to walk away from someone whom you've invested so much of your happiness in.

Emotionally unavailable men, men that are commitment shy, are just too much work and little comes back in return.

He can't be vague with you anymore, he know it, he know he has to submit and reciprocate and he can't, no won't do it, it's his loss.

+100 Tiki

Yes, don't read in between the lines. Take his words for what they are.

That is what I always do.

And trust me... with men, it makes you're life a hell of a lot easier.

Well, it's definitely over... I got a few more spilling his guts type of emails last Saturday telling me I was the best thing to ever happen to him, he hasn't grown closer to anyone in 4+ years, I have pushed him in a positive direction to work on these obstacles he has in his life due to a traumatic parental issue, that this had nothing to do with me and it killed him to think that I thought I wasnt good enough, that he isnt sure what the future holds for us but that the thought of me being completely absent from his life is excruciating, etc. I waited and responded back with kindness but assured him too much that everything would be ok and that I would never abandon him like everyone else in his life. I was honest and remained very positive. From last Saturday, he's emailed me no fewer than 6 times - a random pic of my dog, a story link about a vacation I wanted to take, he liked an instagram pic, etc.

I have never initiated contact and have always waited to reply for a bit. Yesterday I needed to squash this one foot in, one foot out BS. I asked him in a response to a casual random email he sent what our next steps were. I said I was glad I was so instrumental in this self discovery of his and asked if he needs me to be there with him on this path or if he needs to do this on his own and I should step back.

He responded 12 hrs later with an email that sounded like it was written by a robot. So vague and speaking to me like a colleague instead of as a woman he was involved with for a year. Then threw it at the end that he needs to get to work on these issues himself, "however painful and ominous that may be." Then jumped immediately into a memory of my dog and a pic he had of her (which he then emailed me).

I put myself out there again and got clobbered again. I wrote back that I needed him to respect my decision that I needed to move on and that he should no longer contact me. I was nice but matter of fact. I said no more emails or instagram stuff, and I actually went ahead and blocked him entirely so I can't check his page or wonder what he's doing.

Am so sad but that's the end of our story I suppose... Would have been a year together this weekend.

But not once in this time period did he ask how I was or apologize for any of the hurt caused right before and during my bday. Can't believe this is the same guy I had...

He'll find you and marry ur ass,lol.

Redmann, huh?

I'm serious ,u see even though u block,have no contact with us,we always in ur heart and memory. He'll find u and ur heart will melt and then 'he gonna put a ring on it'. Just know this if you realllyyyyyyy realllyyyyyy movin on make no mention of this post erase it. Cause heart,love and memories will linger and u will contact him. Once you find another who can love you and give u ALL the attention then and only then you will remove him from ur mind and heart. DOn't hate him just make him less of a priority. And be a busy body , work and spoil urself.

Interesting thoughts Reddmann.... he just did a 180 from last weekend when I got THIS:

I have not grown closer to anyone in the last 4+ years. our time has been deeply special to me. The simplicity of the routine you described was genuinely perfect. And to say I miss it is ridiculously inadequate. You have opened my eyes to how stagnant I had become in so many ways and, through your own special persistence, have managed to nudge me forward far more than anyone else could; or even myself for that matter. I will always be grateful for this. Your encouragement has been unwavering and has given me incredible strength. without it i would not feel as i do now,which is truly poised to get to work on some of these yet elusive obstacles.
I'm not sure what exactly the future holds for us, but I can tell you that the thought you being completely absent from mine is excruciating.

To yesterday when I got THIS:

You can say I don't care about you all you want, but you know that isn't true. Our relationship had many great aspects as well as several significant bumps along the way. So saying you were completely blindsided doesn't quite add up. Granted, most stemmed from me more from me than you. Nevertheless, You conveyed your point of view, as did I. in the end, it didn't match. You wanted more than I could give. And i respect that, but it leaves us in a default situation. For that I am sorry.

So I went from so hurt and sad and crying to complete anger at what a lunatic this a**hole I completely fell in love with turned out to be... basically he told me I am his guardian angel and he can't imagine life without me but then - JUST KIDDING - he's gotta do this on his own, he can't give me what I want and that's the end of the road for us.

I can't keep up. I think I'm just sick and tired of even trying to at this point...

Uggggghhh!!!The torment... do not answer him.Do you live close to each other?If so its hi and bye.THat back and forth e-mail aint helping. He aint ready for a long term relationship then too there are other reasons for his behaviour. But that is besides the point. It is very very VERY hard to tune out a person who u cared for and give them your all.Try though and limit communication. Treat yourself out,i sure you have some cool friends .have a girls night out. Do something creative. We cancers are verrrry addictive like a hard drug.

No I know, and I am going to keep busy and am doing my own thing. We live in a city so I won't see him. I am just heartbroken and can't believe it came to this... this man has NO one in his life - he dives into work headfirst and hides and I assume that's what he will continue to do. He is incredibly damaged and doesn't view life from a normal/typical perspective. A year in, a year of giving my all, only to learn that he doesn't love me or think I'm worth it.

He WILL realise it but later and when its too late. And i think i know what happened. He had a relationship giving his all then his world crashed. So he probably thought to himself ,well whatever, if i get in a relationship imma be nonchalant about it, not gonna give my heart again.Build a wall. Then retreat into work and accumulating money is what we cancers good at.

Yep he was married. Traumatic event happened, his whole world came crashing down, his wife left him 7 months later (although they didn't have a solid relationship and he felt controlled and forced into the marriage...) Fast forward 3 years and he meets me not expecting to fall for anyone I'm sure. But I'm pretty awesome if I say so myself and have my sh-t together and own a hysterical little pup. He did fall for us...and then got scared over and over again.

But now he's on his own. I told him I'm done and exhausted and I mean it. And my friends and family will hold me accountable if I get weak.

Nah... stregthen up darlin you'll be fine. He will do fine on his own too(survival instincts of a cancer)but if get a booty call run...run quickly. We give da best ones though,lol.

From what I've read, your cancer couldn't handle the pressure. He could not breathe.

Ughhhhhh I miss him so much. Today is Day 8 of not speaking since I told him he had to let me go so I could move on. This is torture.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Xtina is giving the best advice on your question.
Ignore Clueless. "CC" in her case stands for "Cray Cray"

go suck a fat dick moron.

i give her advice pure and simple. She wants someone to hold her hand, she needs to go to the pisces forum.

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LOL CC.

Yup we addictive beliiiiiiieeeevvee me. when we treat you like a queen.(prince william and princess middleton.....i know they're duke and duchess fuck dem i like the prince and princess moniker.)and when we go is like a shock and a void. Be brave move on.Busy body busy body it will work trust me.But then he will marry you!lol

Posted by PRChick1845
Ughhhhhh I miss him so much. Today is Day 8 of not speaking since I told him he had to let me go so I could move on. This is torture.

PR Chick,

I just read the entire post. I'm so, so sorry you're in this type of position. I've been in your position before, although not with a Cancer: the crying, the pain, missing him, etc. It really sucks. What I think, and this is just a normal person's point of view, as a Capricorn, I unfortunately do not have any special tips for Cancers (everybody on the Cancer forum is so, so great, however! Stellar advice.), is to do as everybody is telling you to do here, and keep taking steps towards making yourself happy. I'm proud of you for blocking him on social media; not being able to see what he's saying/posting helps a lot. And DON'T give into the temptation of checking out what he's posting. It'll make you miss him more, make you overanalyze everything he posts.

I think that he will definitely come back. I mean, let's face it: from what you've explained about yourself on here, you're an amazing girlfriend, just perhaps not the right girlfriend for him *at that time*. Plus, you two are being civil and respectful towards each other, despite everything that's happened. It sucks so much that all that had to happen right before your birthday. I really feel for you so much.

Anywho, the point of me posting was to just let you know that I empathize with you, and to tell you that time does heal everything. Keep your head up, keep busy, and good luck. Best of wishes. I really hope your crab comes back to you and gives you everything that you need and desire.

Thanks all of you so much for the support. I am doing ok, trucking on and keeping very busy. Some days are worse than others but I have really held it together for the most part, which even surprises me sometimes 🙂

@Bells93, thank you for your kind words, truly! And @Reddmann I am counting on your words to be true 😉

Truthfully I'm not ready for him to come back now anyway. I am very, very angry with him and that needs to subside. I know I will be ok - I am a tough cookie!