Best way to help a depressed Cancer man?

Apart from showing him verbal and physical affections, encouraging words. What others way is there to help a depressed cancer man?

Bring him somewhere peaceful, nearby the sea would be best. Or go eat some good food that he likes.

Posted by wil
Bring him somewhere peaceful, nearby the sea would be best. Or go eat some good food that he likes.

Sure I will do that if he ask what would I like to do.

He asked me when am I free, what if he is taking the lead and he is choosing the location?

Then do it so all that advice everyone gave goes out the door. Because it isn't that he's unfaithful he really needs help. In depression is huge but remember just be cool and lighthearted because you still have problems though between yall.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Then do it so all that advice everyone gave goes out the door. Because it isn't that he's unfaithful he really needs help. In depression is huge but remember just be cool and lighthearted because you still have problems though between yall.

No he hasn't been unfaithful, the "problem" we had is now solved as now he open up to the cause of that - his depression.

Before you attempt to help him, make sure he really is suffering from depressioN, not just using it as excuse to get away from bad behavior.

If you didn't tell him your needs would he have tell you he is depressed?

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by wil
Bring him somewhere peaceful, nearby the sea would be best. Or go eat some good food that he likes.

Sure I will do that if he ask what would I like to do.

He asked me when am I free, what if he is taking the lead and he is choosing the location?

click to expand

You can mention that you would like to bring him out to somewhere nice first. Sometimes, the other person taking the lead is good for cancer. If he refuses, he is probably sure of where he wants to go. You guys are together right?

Posted by wil

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by wil
Bring him somewhere peaceful, nearby the sea would be best. Or go eat some good food that he likes.

Sure I will do that if he ask what would I like to do.

He asked me when am I free, what if he is taking the lead and he is choosing the location?

You can mention that you would like to bring him out to somewhere nice first. Sometimes, the other person taking the lead is good for cancer. If he refuses, he is probably sure of where he wants to go. You guys are together right?

click to expand

dating exclusively for 3 months. so far he always take the lead except last week I offered to see him to do something for his birhtday. I gave him a homemade cake with a cake tin.

Did he eat it?

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Did he eat it?

we ate it together. (not the entire cake) LOL why?

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by wil

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by wil
Bring him somewhere peaceful, nearby the sea would be best. Or go eat some good food that he likes.

Sure I will do that if he ask what would I like to do.

He asked me when am I free, what if he is taking the lead and he is choosing the location?

You can mention that you would like to bring him out to somewhere nice first. Sometimes, the other person taking the lead is good for cancer. If he refuses, he is probably sure of where he wants to go. You guys are together right?

dating exclusively for 3 months. so far he always take the lead except last week I offered to see him to do something for his birhtday. I gave him a homemade cake with a cake tin.

click to expand

Niceeee. If you do not see any initiative from him in taking the lead.

You do it.

We cancers have too much going on in our head sometimes, we drain ourselves out. That's partly why we rely on others.

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Did he eat it?

we ate it together. (not the entire cake) LOL why?

click to expand

Idk I'm joking you know it's good and homemade yummy.

Posted by wil

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by wil

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by wil
Bring him somewhere peaceful, nearby the sea would be best. Or go eat some good food that he likes.

Sure I will do that if he ask what would I like to do.

He asked me when am I free, what if he is taking the lead and he is choosing the location?

You can mention that you would like to bring him out to somewhere nice first. Sometimes, the other person taking the lead is good for cancer. If he refuses, he is probably sure of where he wants to go. You guys are together right?

dating exclusively for 3 months. so far he always take the lead except last week I offered to see him to do something for his birhtday. I gave him a homemade cake with a cake tin.

Niceeee. If you do not see any initiative from him in taking the lead.

You do it.

We cancers have too much going on in our head sometimes, we drain ourselves out. That's partly why we rely on others.

click to expand

Will keep that in mind, i let him know i like to feel him by him initiating, he seems to be happy to do so. he said it makes him feel like a man.

Quality time. I know cancer love quality time. For me it sometimes doesn't matter what we do as long as I get to be around the one I love. And yes, we actually like it if the other person will take charge every once in a while to decide what to do. It shows that you care enough to put the effort into it. Good luck 🙂

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Illuminati
Before you attempt to help him, make sure he really is suffering from depressioN, not just using it as excuse to get away from bad behavior.

If you didn't tell him your needs would he have tell you he is depressed?

Why is everything a doubt/lie/or stringing her along?

Have you been with this cancer man?

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Arielle I like to stay positive, but now his actions tells me it is possible that he is playing me? I have a friend who is a psychologist, he is not my psycholgist as they can't do that for firneds or family. But he said it's possible he is reeling you in, and then use depression as an excuse to keep distance form you...

anwyay the cancer reached out to apologize on the weekend and I let him know the line to you tuaght me. the next day he used pet name and be affectionate and said lets try to see each other this week, asked me to let him know when I'm free.

I responded with some encouraging words then told him thursday is good if that is ok with him? he didn't respond... you would think it doesn't take much to say yes or no...

yet he keeps getting on chatting app.. so I sent him a message there to start as new message to ask if we could catch up for a coffee this week if he has time. as I'm away over the weekend. let me know. no respond...

Posted by cancertheropy
Quality time. I know cancer love quality time. For me it sometimes doesn't matter what we do as long as I get to be around the one I love. And yes, we actually like it if the other person will take charge every once in a while to decide what to do. It shows that you care enough to put the effort into it. Good luck 🙂

we are dating for 3.5 months exclusively.. but i'm not sure if he sees me as "loved ones"... as he is not really reciprocating my effort since he announced his "depression"

Posted by undefined
Delicious foods is right! And depending on his hobbies.. like if hes a sports finatic. Get some tickets to a game, or make a game date and get a bunch of foods and beer. Or binge watch his fav tv show or something, whilst eating foods. Lol

Sounds like what I need, i love food

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Illuminati
Before you attempt to help him, make sure he really is suffering from depressioN, not just using it as excuse to get away from bad behavior.

If you didn't tell him your needs would he have tell you he is depressed?

Why is everything a doubt/lie/or stringing her along?

Have you been with this cancer man?

Arielle I like to stay positive, but now his actions tells me it is possible that he is playing me? I have a friend who is a psychologist, he is not my psycholgist as they can't do that for firneds or family. But he said it's possible he is reeling you in, and then use depression as an excuse to keep distance form you...

anwyay the cancer reached out to apologize on the weekend and I let him know the line to you tuaght me. the next day he used pet name and be affectionate and said lets try to see each other this week, asked me to let him know when I'm free.

I responded with some encouraging words then told him thursday is good if that is ok with him? he didn't respond... you would think it doesn't take much to say yes or no...

yet he keeps getting on chatting app.. so I sent him a message there to start as new message to ask if we could catch up for a coffee this week if he has time. as I'm away over the weekend. let me know. no respond...

No offence, but why would a psychologist suggest he's using "depression" to reel you in?

To me that sounds like something a psychologist/counsellor shouldn't say.

Depressed person tells the woman he's dating he's depressed and that's why he's distant cuz he's dealing. Then a psychologist claims it's related to manipulation to reel in and influence your Florence nightengale persona, I'm guessing?

If he's conning you, are you the type to pity and love the needy?

Also, why would you want to date a depressed person?

It's too early and you've been doubtful since the start even though he just seems casual in everything.

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to be honest I'm not sure why he said that... may be that's why they are not supposed to give advice to friends / familyi?

guess what? he just responded and ask to meet for lunch today, I asked for coffee as I thought it's easier..

I just needed to see him face to face to sort it out... I'm not sure how depressed he is, as it can come and go, i think i like to know how is he feeling about us. If he knows that he never ever want more than exclsuive dating, I will cut my loss...

I'm just afraid I wil cry when I see him...

Posted by Admiral
Get him to the damn doctor. He could have anxiety issues which cancers are bound to have and that other thinking causes him stress which leaves him in depression and very low energy.

Go to psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

I'm taking some selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and so far it's helped. It slows down our 300 m/h mind.

Tell him to go talk to a GP or professional in the field of mental health. There's nothing wrong with that and sometimes people need help. Cancers jave a hard time asking for help, we ask when it's too late.

🐶

Yes he does have anxiety problems, but I'm not confident about him and i as we are only exclusive datig and I only met his roommate (he had to introduce) but not friends.

also I'm now not sure if he really is depressed or just wanting to keep me on back burner like others and a pyscholgist friend suggested

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Illuminati
Before you attempt to help him, make sure he really is suffering from depressioN, not just using it as excuse to get away from bad behavior.

If you didn't tell him your needs would he have tell you he is depressed?

Why is everything a doubt/lie/or stringing her along?

Have you been with this cancer man?

click to expand

No I haven't. His ACTION told me so. Which he told me loud and clear.

Lunch perfect to cut it short and get away easily as you both have to go back to work. Doesn't have to invest much time on you.

Be honest, if you didn't ask for more time and then follow up on it will you get to see him? You know the answer is no.

Do yourself a favor and end it with him when you see him.

Posted by Admiral

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by Admiral
Get him to the damn doctor. He could have anxiety issues which cancers are bound to have and that other thinking causes him stress which leaves him in depression and very low energy.

Go to psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

I'm taking some selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and so far it's helped. It slows down our 300 m/h mind.

Tell him to go talk to a GP or professional in the field of mental health. There's nothing wrong with that and sometimes people need help. Cancers jave a hard time asking for help, we ask when it's too late.

🐶

Yes he does have anxiety problems, but I'm not confident about him and i as we are only exclusive datig and I only met his roommate (he had to introduce) but not friends.

also I'm now not sure if he really is depressed or just wanting to keep me on back burner like others and a pyscholgist friend suggested

Talk is cheap. Look at his actions. Any sign of bullshit drop his ass and tell him you won't wait for him to make uphis mind what he wants from you. He's wasting your time and his if he's being insincere. Don't date only himif you aren't exclusive.

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Yes we are exclusive, he has been more withdrawn, he approached me to apologizing for going AWOL for 3 days becuase he was stress and went into cave. I told him I like more communications and i lke to be there for him, but I cna't read his mind when he goes into cave..

he apologized again and said I'm right then he admit he fell into depression last week, he asked when am I free.

I told him I'm free on thursday, no respond.

I sent himanother text to ask if we can have coffee this week as I'm goin away on the weekend. He responded asking me to meet for lunch today, he apologized for being slow in respond.

Posted by Admiral


Do you have a life other than with him? You can't poke a crab to get out of his shell or SNAPE GOES THE CLAW! Do be needy because you're afraid you may lose him, because that's what I'm getting from you. You need to be with him because you're afraid he'll leave but he's with you isn't he?

Honey you can't control people ( that's what insecure people do) you can only control your expectations of them. Enjoy the moments you have with him. Dont overthink where there's no reason to.

yes I do, but I can't ignore his withdrawal over the past month.. even my psychologist friend thinks he is just playing me, he wants me in his harem, he doens't want me to leave so he throw the D word to tuck with my hear strings..

basically it's not about controlling him.. it's about wanting to know when to cut my loss... his action doens't match his words, in the past he mentioned he likes to see me more than once a week, but now its less than once a week... he also said you should see how my friends and i muck around. I have never seen them....

Lol @ all of those who tells her to manager her expectation. If you want to be exclusive with a girl yet you see her less than once a week what kind of exclusiveness is this? Fuck that shit!

Posted by Admiral


Try to talk to him. Tell one another what your expectations are and try to make a compromise because that's what relationships are. If he doesn't want to clearly state what he expects from this relationship with you when you tell him what you need the drop his indecisive ass. Cut him out of your life. I don't bother with people who bring negatively in my life.

Try this rule next time . It's either a fuck yeah! Or fuck no? Anything other than a yes is a no.

Meeting him soon I'm very nervous... I guess just ask him abut his depression at lunch and ask him something about his expectation of exclusive dating? if i tell him i feel like i become one of those girls he dated casually it would make lunch awkawrd?

when he met me he went celibate for 4 months because he wants to clean his act up for a serious partner. and he's been single for 18 months. he siad those were girls he dated knowing he doens't want a realtionship with. but we met on a dating site where we both are looking for serious partner

Posted by Admiral

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by Admiral


Do you have a life other than with him? You can't poke a crab to get out of his shell or SNAPE GOES THE CLAW! Do be needy because you're afraid you may lose him, because that's what I'm getting from you. You need to be with him because you're afraid he'll leave but he's with you isn't he?

Honey you can't control people ( that's what insecure people do) you can only control your expectations of them. Enjoy the moments you have with him. Dont overthink where there's no reason to.

yes I do, but I can't ignore his withdrawal over the past month.. even my psychologist friend thinks he is just playing me, he wants me in his harem, he doens't want me to leave so he throw the D word to tuck with my hear strings..

basically it's not about controlling him.. it's about wanting to know when to cut my loss... his action doens't match his words, in the past he mentioned he likes to see me more than once a week, but now its less than once a week... he also said you should see how my friends and i muck around. I have never seen them....

Try to talk to him. Tell one another what your expectations are and try to make a compromise because that's what relationships are. If he doesn't want to clearly state what he expects from this relationship with you when you tell him what you need the drop his indecisive ass. Cut him out of your life. I don't bother with people who bring negatively in my life.

Try this rule next time . It's either a fuck yeah! Or fuck no? Anything other than a yes is a no.

click to expand

This guy is a fuck no. The OP already told him she wants more communication. After his supposingly apologetic text over the weekend.

I don't even know why she bothers seeing him. Just fuck him off

Posted by Admiral

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by Admiral


Try to talk to him. Tell one another what your expectations are and try to make a compromise because that's what relationships are. If he doesn't want to clearly state what he expects from this relationship with you when you tell him what you need the drop his indecisive ass. Cut him out of your life. I don't bother with people who bring negatively in my life.

Try this rule next time . It's either a fuck yeah! Or fuck no? Anything other than a yes is a no.

Meeting him soon I'm very nervous... I guess just ask him abut his depression at lunch and ask him something about his expectation of exclusive dating? if i tell him i feel like i become one of those girls he dated casually it would make lunch awkawrd?

when he met me he went celibate for 4 months because he wants to clean his act up for a serious partner. and he's been single for 18 months. he siad those were girls he dated knowing he doens't want a realtionship with. but we met on a dating site where we both are looking for serious partner

Girl even if you like him you may not be compatible. I don't think that this is a very good relationship since you are that fearful about asking him simple questions. Just understand he's your reality but not the only reality. Do waste your time giving to someone who can't give back what you need. It takes two to tango.

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I get what you're saying. I guess I now have a better mind set. I can either talk to him about his depression OR the relationship. Don't try to talk about both. So far he never hold back any information from my questions. So I should pick one of the 2 topics to decide if the situation is something I can handle.

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by cancertheropy
Quality time. I know cancer love quality time. For me it sometimes doesn't matter what we do as long as I get to be around the one I love. And yes, we actually like it if the other person will take charge every once in a while to decide what to do. It shows that you care enough to put the effort into it. Good luck 🙂

we are dating for 3.5 months exclusively.. but i'm not sure if he sees me as "loved ones"... as he is not really reciprocating my effort since he announced his "depression"

click to expand

This is just an idea. I have some depression- usually triggered. Anyways, I've dealt with someone who has had severe depression before. This was a Scorpio. He always looked for friends who didn't like him at all and I tried everything to be his friend. He avoided me, did stuff that hurt me, lied to me, but I kept on going. Was until later I realized that he did all that cause he didn't trust me fully - as depression does that to people. Patience is key with people who have depression which is a hard thing to come by when it seems to be all give and no get. I know that I impacted this person a lot cause when I got busy and started hanging out with others he felt so betrayed that he deleted me from everything.

You will know if he is actually suffering from depression if he isn't using it as an excuse. We like to give our thoughts out- but the more we need someone the more we move back into our shell. That's the way it always seems to work for us. Even though he may not be showing anything doesn't necessarily mean you aren't stirring up deep emotions that he happens to love.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by MissGemmi
You are right Arielle! But the thing is... most of these women are at the other end and if all have some kind of the same story they've got to share then there must be a source of truth in it (*in general*).

Of course she needs to evaluate her own relationship with her cancer and coming here with all these women having bad experiences doesn't help much. Good to give the benefit of the doubt, but she needs to protect her emotional self, whether it's a Cancer male or anyone else. She IS the female, not the other way around. So as I would advise my friend, let him show himself first in order to win you over and make you trust him. You've got more emotional investment to loose than him (from woman to woman).

To be honest the above has a whole other extra dimension when it comes to dealing with a Cancer. Hate me if you want.

No you all have created a self fulfilling prophecy.

She's been pushed to question his interest cuz posters are pressuring "why not exclusive? He's stringing you yadda yadda yadda."

It's simple. Two ppl meet and they engage in each other and get to know each other.

You've got a thread of dogged women telling a women, who questions everything, that she's gonna get dogged, just cuz you did?

There's no objectivity. It's all subjective reflection.

He isn't your ex etc.

He's someone else who has used his words, but she thinks his words have no value cuz she has created so much doubt, projected by silly females who already have proved they can't tolerate or stand cancer men.

There is no objectivity.

If you're an adult, and you're seeking an emotional connection from another human being and you aren't emotionally mature yourself? Hold up!

No one needs self doubt and baggage projected onto them if they are depressed.

Cancer men seek comfort. If you don't provide comfort, but stress, analysis, and relationship pressure, they get involved with their work and themselves.

You push them into the fucking cave.

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Meeting soon, I will only ask about the depression, as I want to be supportive. Also to evaluate if it's something I can handle.

Yea I should focus on my face to face interaction with him, as when we are in person everything feels perfect. We talk a lot and he must me feel like I'm at home and I can by myself.

I do sympathize his depression. he told me some childhood history in the past and I suspect depression runs his in family. Your right psychologist shouldn't give such aggressive opinion... they are suppose to figure things out about me, but leave the other person as "mystery" something for me to figure out.

Posted by Arielle83
The amount of doubt and issues you seem to have just understanding him is enough of a head fuvk.

Like I said he's casual and has other shit going on and you seem anxious about the relationship status.

It's all about the status.

You're excited to seem him for lunch but ur focus is to talk about feelings and the relationship.

Are u a Virgo? Cuz I dated a guy who questioned everything I did. Where I went and why I didn't text when he texted. He had expectations and I was just casually getting to know him.

All the criticisms and neediness gave him what he expected. Me calling it off and him telling me he told me so.

Then I told him he was annoying and not for me.

If you have no faith in him and doubt his integrity, leave the poor guy alone.

You've got bitter women giving you advice cheering for you to dump him and a psychologist claiming he has a harem.

This is why i refuse to ask other females for advice. You all cloud everything with the baggage you all carry.

I said to give him the benefit of the doubt 3 threads ago.

You just can't.

And I'm not going to read a thread filled with nasty women hating on a man claiming depression. No wonder so many women are single on dxp.

When you said casual did you mean his communication style is laid back? or you meant he never intend to have anything serious even he told me he is looking for a serious partner?

Posted by cancertheropy

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by cancertheropy
Quality time. I know cancer love quality time. For me it sometimes doesn't matter what we do as long as I get to be around the one I love. And yes, we actually like it if the other person will take charge every once in a while to decide what to do. It shows that you care enough to put the effort into it. Good luck 🙂

we are dating for 3.5 months exclusively.. but i'm not sure if he sees me as "loved ones"... as he is not really reciprocating my effort since he announced his "depression"

This is just an idea. I have some depression- usually triggered. Anyways, I've dealt with someone who has had severe depression before. This was a Scorpio. He always looked for friends who didn't like him at all and I tried everything to be his friend. He avoided me, did stuff that hurt me, lied to me, but I kept on going. Was until later I realized that he did all that cause he didn't trust me fully - as depression does that to people. Patience is key with people who have depression which is a hard thing to come by when it seems to be all give and no get. I know that I impacted this person a lot cause when I got busy and started hanging out with others he felt so betrayed that he deleted me from everything.

You will know if he is actually suffering from depression if he isn't using it as an excuse. We like to give our thoughts out- but the more we need someone the more we move back into our shell. That's the way it always seems to work for us. Even though he may not be showing anything doesn't necessarily mean you aren't stirring up deep emotions that he happens to love.

click to expand

I will be patience and just try to understand his situation.. as I like to know if he had it before, as most people don't even know they have it and he seems to know it very well...

well he did tell me I'm very very sweet inperson and in text. when he says that to be he held me tight and kiss me in a very protective way..

Posted by MissGemmi
Oh btw....

A depression is a very awful thing to deal with and it isn't something you just share with anyone unless you have deep trust, I'd think. If all was good and then suddenly a depression comes out, out of 'nothing' then it feels a bit uneasy to me. She's not his psychiatrist, she wants to be in a relationship with him. Throwing out a depression at this point after she has mentioned exclusivity feels like as if he wants to say, listen, I can't be in a relationship with anyone right now...I'm suffering a depression. Yes, it's sad for him (if it's real), but I think it's sad for her too (even more).

it's HIM who mentioned it in the past. and yes I was silly enough to be pushed to doubt it just becuase he didn't say use the wordings ppl said he should.

It's sad for both of us, as I do care about him.

Posted by Arielle83
You've got bitter women giving you advice cheering for you to dump him and a psychologist claiming he has a harem........

No wonder so many women are single on dxp.

Which is why the "My Cancer man left me" thread is in the forum.

If that thread were an insect repellent, one would never have a problem with insect bites ever again.... .

For reference:

http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/cancer/cancer-man-left-me-6304571/

Posted by MissGemmi
@Arielle

Any person seeks comfort, there's no exclusivity for Cancer (fe)males in this one. We all cave if we can't find it. There's no patent on comfort for Cancers.

In a relationship we try to give the best of ourselves because we want to comfort our SO, but this doesn't mean we don't want to see the same thing back: comfort. That's in my eyes a healthy relationship. If I'm already in a serious long term committed relationship and my SO falls into a depression, I would be there for better or worse and still be in love.

Someone who *throws* in a depression after saying he wants to be exclusive after 3 months of dating, makes me wonder if I can find the comfort in that person I so much need in a loving long term relationship. I wouldn't drop him, but I would certainly reconsider a serious relationship.

She needs to see for herself how this will develop.

people who are depress don't choose to be depressed.. yes he does comfort me when we are face to face, from the moment we met we trust each other a lot and tell each other many things.

I'm not therapist, i don't always know the right things to say. I'm just here to support and with or without the depression there's no guarantee things are going to work, as you can see most dating doesn't lead to marriage, and marriage doesn't mean there's no divorce.

Posted by MissGemmi
Sorry Poppyseeds I couldn't stop myself from posting on your thread.

Go with what feels right, because of course people respond and project their own experiences and this is not fair. There's complete truth in this.

You want to help and that is only admirable, so if it's in your nature why not be there for him, just make sure you protect yourself by not becoming his psychiatrist, but his comfort zone in a healthy relationship, whether friendly or loving. Good luck!!!

Not intending to be his therapist, nor can I. Just there to show love and support and see how things go, if it's meant to be it will be. If not it's just a joruney he has to go through on his own.

Hello once again lol. What's your sign? Yes cancers can be manipulative and stuff, but it is unlikely(to me) that he is playing you if he really makes alot of effort to make sure you're okay. Does he do that? and are there any other things that made you feel like you're being played?

Posted by Arielle83
Now everyone's a psychologist on this thread.

Wow.

I'm done.

Ikr?

I'm surprised you've stuck it out this long.

Posted by wil
Hello once again lol. What's your sign? Yes cancers can be manipulative and stuff, but it is unlikely(to me) that he is playing you if he really makes alot of effort to make sure you're okay. Does he do that? and are there any other things that made you feel like you're being played?

virgo. he is very sensitive to my feelings in person. he is often apologetic on text if he misunderstood and thought Im offended when I'm not. He is also apologetic about delay in respond to text. Seems like he now prefers to use the chatting app over text.. today i switched to contact him on app and his turn around time is MUCH quicker.. idk why...

The only thing made me feel play was last week about him forgetting he invited his parents over.. turns out he invited them sometime ago and forgot...

he is very scattered in general, it's like wherever the wind blows him...

If i forget about what ppl says here, deep down in my heart I do trust him, as our connection was instant, we talk avery EVERYTHING and ANYTHING.

Poppyseeds, it seems like you mostly communicate via messaging, snap chat texting etc. is this the case?

Posted by LadyNeptune
Poppyseeds, it seems like you mostly communicate via messaging, snap chat texting etc. is this the case?

yes ma'am

Dump him and he will be really depressed LOL

Posted by Illuminati
Dump him and he will be really depressed LOL

now that's just nasteh lol

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by wil
Hello once again lol. What's your sign? Yes cancers can be manipulative and stuff, but it is unlikely(to me) that he is playing you if he really makes alot of effort to make sure you're okay. Does he do that? and are there any other things that made you feel like you're being played?

virgo. he is very sensitive to my feelings in person. he is often apologetic on text if he misunderstood and thought Im offended when I'm not. He is also apologetic about delay in respond to text. Seems like he now prefers to use the chatting app over text.. today i switched to contact him on app and his turn around time is MUCH quicker.. idk why...

The only thing made me feel play was last week about him forgetting he invited his parents over.. turns out he invited them sometime ago and forgot...

he is very scattered in general, it's like wherever the wind blows him...

If i forget about what ppl says here, deep down in my heart I do trust him, as our connection was instant, we talk avery EVERYTHING and ANYTHING.

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Chatting app? and I don't get how that made you feel played though. He seems fine to me. Ain't doing anything bad

Posted by wil

Posted by Illuminati
Dump him and he will be really depressed LOL

now that's just nasteh lol

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No mercy for a fuckboy

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by LadyNeptune
Poppyseeds, it seems like you mostly communicate via messaging, snap chat texting etc. is this the case?

yes ma'am

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Many men (and women!) are not into texting. Try giving him a call instead. Or tell him to call you after your done with work.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by MissGemmi
You are right Arielle! But the thing is... most of these women are at the other end and if all have some kind of the same story they've got to share then there must be a source of truth in it (*in general*).

Of course she needs to evaluate her own relationship with her cancer and coming here with all these women having bad experiences doesn't help much. Good to give the benefit of the doubt, but she needs to protect her emotional self, whether it's a Cancer male or anyone else. She IS the female, not the other way around. So as I would advise my friend, let him show himself first in order to win you over and make you trust him. You've got more emotional investment to loose than him (from woman to woman).

To be honest the above has a whole other extra dimension when it comes to dealing with a Cancer. Hate me if you want.

No you all have created a self fulfilling prophecy.

She's been pushed to question his interest cuz posters are pressuring "why not exclusive? He's stringing you yadda yadda yadda."

It's simple. Two ppl meet and they engage in each other and get to know each other.

You've got a thread of dogged women telling a women, who questions everything, that she's gonna get dogged, just cuz you did?

There's no objectivity. It's all subjective reflection.

He isn't your ex etc.

He's someone else who has used his words, but she thinks his words have no value cuz she has created so much doubt, projected by silly females who already have proved they can't tolerate or stand cancer men.

There is no objectivity.

If you're an adult, and you're seeking an emotional connection from another human being and you aren't emotionally mature yourself? Hold up!

No one needs self doubt and baggage projected onto them if they are depressed.

Cancer men seek comfort. If you don't provide comfort, but stress, analysis, and relationship pressure, they get involved with their work and themselves.

You push them into the fucking cave.

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You know, the emotional stress part is vet true for me as a cancer. My ex girlfriend became very insecure and demanded so much time when all I wanted to do was get to know some of the people I just met- as I joined a fraternity. She took in a stray cat to a home where her father abused it but refused to let it go and tried to put the pressure on me to take care of it. I couldn't cause I was living with my parents and they didn't want another cat. All that emotional stress got to me and caused me to grow distant and eventually we broke up. I don't blame her for the way that she is and feels sorry cause not many people like her.

I don't think it's just with the cancer sign, it's with any guy out there that would be feeling drowned from too much emotional distress cause of all the negative energy.

People aren't made for a whole lot of negative energy as it is very unhealthy. If it gets to emtotionally bothersome the healthiest solution is honestly space so that your emotions can die down and the other person gets breathing room and would give both sides time to think about everything instead of jumping to irrational conclusions.

Posted by cancertheropy
People aren't made for a whole lot of negative energy as it is very unhealthy. If it gets to emtotionally bothersome the healthiest solution is honestly space so that your emotions can die down and the other person gets breathing room and would give both sides time to think about everything instead of jumping to irrational conclusions.

How much space you need? If you are dating exclusively you wouldn't see each other less than a week right?



Didn't he called OP sweet? That's the kissable death. He is toying with her.

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by cancertheropy
People aren't made for a whole lot of negative energy as it is very unhealthy. If it gets to emtotionally bothersome the healthiest solution is honestly space so that your emotions can die down and the other person gets breathing room and would give both sides time to think about everything instead of jumping to irrational conclusions.

How much space you need? If you are dating exclusively you wouldn't see each other less than a week right?



Didn't he called OP sweet? That's the kissable death. He is toying with her.

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And what evidence do you have of this person toying with her? Perhaps he is and isn't. You don't know the person so you can't make that decision. The OP has the memories and the facts and can easily pull the pieces together herself than what everyone else can just by reading messages and coming to their own conclusions. I believe the title of this board was "how to help a depressed cancer." Not "Is this cancer toying with me?" Sorry, but I really dislike it when I see others jump to conclusions when they don't even know the person themselves.