Guide to dating a Cancer Man/Lady.

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incandescentcancer
@incandescentcancer
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3294 · Topics: 45
Posted by Peanutbutter
Posted by incandescentcancer
I like kinky aggressive sex. Kindly respect that.



Amen to that.

Dating a Cancer Male:

Never be mean to them, not even in a joking matter.. their feelings get hurt/bruise easily.
click to expand




This is only the case in the starting phase when Cancers tend to put their lovers on a pedestal. Once both are into the relationship completely, the verbal jousts are totally enjoyable (atleast in my case). Gentle ribbing, making fun of random stupidity is all game. Just don't say things like "do whatever you want" when I am out with you, for a virgo that's practical and considerate (giving a choice, not imposing etc.) for a cancer totally hurtful (interpreted as I don't care what you do). Hope that's helpful.
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BommyKnocker
@BommyKnocker
13 Years500+ PostsCancer

Comments: 1 · Posts: 534 · Topics: 26
Posted by incandescentcancer
Posted by Peanutbutter
Posted by incandescentcancer
I like kinky aggressive sex. Kindly respect that.



Amen to that.

Dating a Cancer Male:

Never be mean to them, not even in a joking matter.. their feelings get hurt/bruise easily.



Just don't say things like "do whatever you want" when I am out with you, for a virgo that's practical and considerate (giving a choice, not imposing etc.) for a cancer totally hurtful (interpreted as I don't care what you do). Hope that's
helpful.
click to expand




I Agree.

+

I don't handle teasing very well. I can't imagine anyone getting away with it at the beginning of the dating phase, but I agree that it does get much easier down the line.
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BommyKnocker
@BommyKnocker
13 Years500+ PostsCancer

Comments: 1 · Posts: 534 · Topics: 26
@MoonMan:

Did you just ask a few cancers if they are over sensitive ?


To be honest, i'm not a walking bubble of insecurities. If anything jealousy in my case is not the result of insecurity, but because I don't want to/like to share the person whom I have feelings for with anyone else, and that comes across as jealousy. It only becomes a dangerous or at least a toxic situation when she is not aware of this trait or if she is aware and uses it as a bargaining chip during the dating phase.

And to a lesser extent is the insecurity that's born from fear of losing that person whom you have feelings for. Which I think is a very reasonable and wide spread concern among everyone so I don't feel the need to explain that one or justify it. It just happens that in my case, that fear of losing someone motivates many of my actions, which is something specific to me.
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incandescentcancer
@incandescentcancer
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3294 · Topics: 45
Posted by liquidpassion
If you start having deep feelings for a Cancer man, don't say a word about it. Especially, if you know in your gut, he is not ready! He'll be gone in less than 60 seconds and you will be left feeling very sad in the heart.



This is dicey, I won't necessarily say this works will all Cancers. I am very considerate about someone's feelings particularly when they put themselves out there. I would never run away and cause her pain, infact I would give her a special place as a friend even if we don't become lovers. I would sound out the guy first before I take this approach.
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Honeybees
@Honeybees
13 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 109 · Topics: 12
Posted by MoonMan
Posted by BommyKnocker

Did you just ask a few cancers if they are over sensitive ?


I did indeed, yes. Absolutely, I did.
🙂
Should I add emphasis on the word 'over'-sensitive?


Posted by BommyKnocker

To be honest, i'm not a walking bubble of insecurities. If anything jealousy in my case is not the result of insecurity, but because I don't want to/like to share the person whom I have feelings for with anyone else, and that comes across as jealousy. It only becomes a dangerous or at least a toxic situation when she is not aware of this trait or if she is aware and uses it as a bargaining chip during the dating phase.


Hmm, I see. This is a 'trait' you need to work on overcoming then. Because it will inevitably result in difficult romances for you. You may need to define exactly what you mean by "share", but, Obviously you don't want her to share her body and romantic heart with another man, neither would I, however, you don't own a woman, you cannot force or expect her to share her time with only those people that you decide are suitable. So I say to you, that you need to develop your own inner confidence and balance, learn to understand where your inner fear is vibrating, so you can move forward and discover the amazing experience of a woman returning to your side of her own free will.
It's NOT about power/control or manipulation, it about trust and learning to overcome your inner demons.

Look, life is a tough gig, man, shit happens. You experience, you learn, you grow.

click to expand




loved your answer. my cancer is having insecurities over me when i am not doing anything . i am aquarius btw..
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shellshocker
@shellshocker
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 21 · Posts: 4200 · Topics: 67
Posted by MoonMan
Posted by BommyKnocker

Did you just ask a few cancers if they are over sensitive ?


I did indeed, yes. Absolutely, I did.
🙂
Should I add emphasis on the word 'over'-sensitive?


Posted by BommyKnocker

To be honest, i'm not a walking bubble of insecurities. If anything jealousy in my case is not the result of insecurity, but because I don't want to/like to share the person whom I have feelings for with anyone else, and that comes across as jealousy. It only becomes a dangerous or at least a toxic situation when she is not aware of this trait or if she is aware and uses it as a bargaining chip during the dating phase.


Hmm, I see. This is a 'trait' you need to work on overcoming then. Because it will inevitably result in difficult romances for you. You may need to define exactly what you mean by "share", but, Obviously you don't want her to share her body and romantic heart with another man, neither would I, however, you don't own a woman, you cannot force or expect her to share her time with only those people that you decide are suitable. So I say to you, that you need to develop your own inner confidence and balance, learn to understand where your inner fear is vibrating, so you can move forward and discover the amazing experience of a woman returning to your side of her own free will.
It's NOT about power/control or manipulation, it about trust and learning to overcome your inner demons.

click to expand




Moon Man!!! you.. just you 🙂 🙂 🙂
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LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 136 · Posts: 9227 · Topics: 154
Posted by incandescentcancer
Posted by LunarMaiden
Yes I love German chocolate cake. Any chocolate with nuts actually. Oh I love pies too especially cinnamon apple pie. 😛



Is there any pastry you don't like? 😛
click to expand




It's all in the crust, the crust has to be cooked til well done and seasoned just right.
I don't like cheap box cakes/pies that taste like cardboard. With cheap soy ingredients.
Every Thanks Giving and Christmas I make Pineapple Cream pies. It's a big hit! 😄
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pb
@Peanutbutter
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 2284 · Topics: 58
Posted by MoonMan
Posted by Peanutbutter
Posted by incandescentcancer
I like kinky aggressive sex. Kindly respect that.



Amen to that.




Damn girl, your radar is tuned in, hahahaha, didn't take long to find that post
😛
Shouldn't you be over on the Virgo board helping all those love sick Cancer lads figure out their Virgo girls?
~~

Apart from IncandescentCancer, aren't you Cancer boys being a little over sensitive?
What if the jealousy was just imagined in your own head and then you dump her irrationally?

If you work on your "inner self" build up your own sense of inner confidence and awareness, you will attract the right kind of girl and you won't need to "worry" about that stuff. You can't tie a woman on a leash and pull her back in just because you are feeling insecure all the time.
Sure, everyone has their weak moments occasionally, but that's normal.

If you get jealous easily and/or often, then you need to work on your inner confidence and your intimate communications with your woman.

click to expand




It is, it really is! 😛 Lol. & +1 on the advice. You.gotta b confident thst your woman won't stray or else we smell the insecurity n it will inevitably drive us away!
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incandescentcancer
@incandescentcancer
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3294 · Topics: 45
Posted by LunarMaiden
Posted by incandescentcancer
Posted by LunarMaiden
Yes I love German chocolate cake. Any chocolate with nuts actually. Oh I love pies too especially cinnamon apple pie. 😛



Is there any pastry you don't like? 😛



It's all in the crust, the crust has to be cooked til well done and seasoned just right.
I don't like cheap box cakes/pies that taste like cardboard. With cheap soy ingredients.
Every Thanks Giving and Christmas I make Pineapple Cream pies. It's a big hit! 😄
click to expand




Reminds me of someone else I used to know 🙂. Cannolis are doable once in a while, however if you're talking about the American version then I don't know if that's a good way to judge.
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LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 136 · Posts: 9227 · Topics: 154
Posted by incandescentcancer
Posted by LunarMaiden
Posted by incandescentcancer
Posted by LunarMaiden
Yes I love German chocolate cake. Any chocolate with nuts actually. Oh I love pies too especially cinnamon apple pie. 😛



Is there any pastry you don't like? 😛



It's all in the crust, the crust has to be cooked til well done and seasoned just right.
I don't like cheap box cakes/pies that taste like cardboard. With cheap soy ingredients.
Every Thanks Giving and Christmas I make Pineapple Cream pies. It's a big hit! 😄



Reminds me of someone else I used to know 🙂. Cannolis are doable once in a while, however if you're talking about the American version then I don't know if that's a good way to judge.
click to expand




Unfortunately, I've only had the American ones. 😢
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incandescentcancer
@incandescentcancer
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3294 · Topics: 45
Posted by virgodreamz
Where in Europe are you Incandescent?
I was just in Milan during fashion week the food was sooo yummy.

Also for those looking for Cancer info: I don't know if it's a cancer male thing or just mine but he loves it when I figure out what he wants without him using words.
(It drives me nuts lol but it makes him so happy)



An hour to the north, a country famous for its mountains and banks 😉

That's definitely a male cancer thing, always additional points if the girl figures it out without me having to spell it out!
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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by shellshocker
Posted by MoonMan
Posted by BommyKnocker

Did you just ask a few cancers if they are over sensitive ?


I did indeed, yes. Absolutely, I did.
🙂
Should I add emphasis on the word 'over'-sensitive?


Posted by BommyKnocker

To be honest, i'm not a walking bubble of insecurities. If anything jealousy in my case is not the result of insecurity, but because I don't want to/like to share the person whom I have feelings for with anyone else, and that comes across as jealousy. It only becomes a dangerous or at least a toxic situation when she is not aware of this trait or if she is aware and uses it as a bargaining chip during the dating phase.


Hmm, I see. This is a 'trait' you need to work on overcoming then. Because it will inevitably result in difficult romances for you. You may need to define exactly what you mean by "share", but, Obviously you don't want her to share her body and romantic heart with another man, neither would I, however, you don't own a woman, you cannot force or expect her to share her time with only those people that you decide are suitable. So I say to you, that you need to develop your own inner confidence and balance, learn to understand where your inner fear is vibrating, so you can move forward and discover the amazing experience of a woman returning to your side of her own free will.
It's NOT about power/control or manipulation, it about trust and learning to overcome your inner demons.



Moon Man!!! you.. just you 🙂 🙂 🙂
click to expand




I thought I was the only one that thought *this*
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virgodreamz
@virgodreamz
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1160 · Topics: 18
Posted by incandescentcancer
Ohh, lest I forget. Italian food is seriously overrated, I don't even think it's the best in Europe let alone important anywhere else. There, I said it 😛.



Well that leaves more for me!

I was in Lugano for a little bit, it was touristy where I was but I still had fun. I would love to go further in to see the rest of the country another time. 🙂
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LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 136 · Posts: 9227 · Topics: 154
Posted by incandescentcancer
Posted by virgodreamz
Where in Europe are you Incandescent?
I was just in Milan during fashion week the food was sooo yummy.

Also for those looking for Cancer info: I don't know if it's a cancer male thing or just mine but he loves it when I figure out what he wants without him using words.
(It drives me nuts lol but it makes him so happy)



An hour to the north, a country famous for its mountains and banks 😉

That's definitely a male cancer thing, always additional points if the girl figures it out without me having to spell it out!
click to expand




Don't tell me you are in Switzerland!!
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incandescentcancer
@incandescentcancer
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3294 · Topics: 45
Posted by LunarMaiden
Posted by incandescentcancer
Posted by virgodreamz
Where in Europe are you Incandescent?
I was just in Milan during fashion week the food was sooo yummy.

Also for those looking for Cancer info: I don't know if it's a cancer male thing or just mine but he loves it when I figure out what he wants without him using words.
(It drives me nuts lol but it makes him so happy)



An hour to the north, a country famous for its mountains and banks 😉

That's definitely a male cancer thing, always additional points if the girl figures it out without me having to spell it out!



Don't tell me you are in Switzerland!!
click to expand




Well now...😉
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RoseTheTaurus
@RoseTheTaurus
13 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 676 · Topics: 26
I keep coming back to this thread, writing a paragraph then deleting it. I'm not sure how to put into concrete sentences how to date a cancer...so I'm just going to write a bunch of my own personal dos and don'ts when it comes to my relationship. If it helps- He's a Cancer sun, Taurus moon, Gemini mercury, Cancer Venus, Leo Mars

Do recognize the sensitivity and/or moods and try to be tender, understanding, empathetic
Do appreciate the giving nature and not take it for granted
Do reassure him and take the relationship seriously
Do give physical and emotional attention
Do catch him before the "shelling" starts (if you suspect his feelings have been hurt) and reassure him/apologize, then let him be.
Do be honest
Do leave somethings unsaid, use your intuition and take the hints
Do be sentimental, acknowledge important relationship milestones, birthdays...
Do be emotionally expressive and vulnerable (be able to let go and lean on him), allow him to be vulnerable with you
Do show loving through actions, words and openly embrace the loving back
Do respect the lil' den you've both created/creating and honor it.
Do realize something is up when the argumentativeness starts and care enough to get to the bottom of it
Do share- emotions, memories, passions, things.... Make it about us, we, our
Do be accepting and tolerant- no mocking, judging looks, glares or passive aggressive remarks
Do be the obvious- loyal, affectionate, nurturing, sappy, care about his happiness..... Do actually care.

Don't act indifferent to him, his emotions, the relationship
Don't share your alone time. If it's just supposed to be you and him, nobody else better interfere! LOL
Don't be pushy or behave aggressively
Don't be inconsiderate
Don't shrug (inside joke hahahaha)
Don't give him a reason to doubt your feelings for him
Don't make him think you enjoy someone else's company more than his
Don't lie, evade, ignore, be sneaky
Don't do ultimatums or power grabs
Don't be condescending or dismissive
Don't try to be perfect, polished or unreal. Express who you really are. Don't wear a mask.

For Beginnings:
Do go slow
Do be respectful
Do be open
Do be kind
Do be aware of what you want. Do be aware of your needs and his needs.

Don't be confusing
Don't be rude

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Androux
@Androux
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 109 · Topics: 2
For dating a cancer woman:

First and foremost: DO NOT try and date one if you're not 100% serious and goal oriented to be with said person.
Always be honest... Can't say enough about how important this is
Don't play games.
She will become insecure about herself and the relationship if there is no effort on your part.... has to feel like she is yours, worth something to you
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MissCrab87
@MissCrab87
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 3 · Topics: 1
For any guy who may be trying to win over the heart of his cancerian love interest, be patient (some of these girls take longer to trust). To earn her trust, you will need to understand her. I have read a lot about cancer people being clingy in relationships - this can be true if the cancer has not yet learned to deal with his/her emotions and insecurities. But let me shed some light on why we cancers may appear clingy (a lot of astrological sources are quick to point out faults/flaws of particular signs, but never really give thorough reasons or explanations as to why we tend to behave in certain ways - I am not saying we should only entirely rely on astrology for answers...it's obvious that upbringing and life circumstances play a big role in shaping us as individuals too). But on the clingy matter, I personally believe that there is an inner child in each of us that is always crying out for love, care and attention and reassurance, no matter what sign you may be. But because being cancer and being more intuitively aware or connected with our soul and inner emotions, at times (especially during relationships) we come into contact with our inner child, who only wants to be loved and cared for. And because of our expressive nature, we let our emotions of wanting to be loved or reassured 'all hang loose' - in other words, we let our inner child come to the surface - sometimes in extreme amounts, and this immediately scares off potential mates. Let me assure you though, that there is no need to be afraid of us, there only needs to be understanding.

An analogy in which perfectly demonstrates this circumstance is the bonding of a child and his mother. If the child receives quality time, unconditional love and bonding with his mother, then the child is empowered, feels safe, is more independent and grows to develop a strong sense of self, and trust in oneself and in others. On the other hand, if the child is neglected or not provided with unconditional love and care, then his emotional needs are not being met, and he will develop signs of mistrust, low self esteem, dependency and CLINGYNESS. The same can be true with a cancer in a relationship. If our partners can express unconditional love when we ask for it, we will relax into the relationship knowing that there is always love and trust there. We will be more confident in ourselves and be more independent and are more than happy to let you have your space too. However, if you refuse to show love, that's wh
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MissCrab87
@MissCrab87
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 3 · Topics: 1
However, if you refuse to show love, that's when our clingyness does all the talking. We will dig and dig and dig until we get the attention we need. And if we get it, we relax. If not, we will give you a very hard time - which isn't something to proud of, but isn't also something to detest, only to understand. This explanation is me to a T, but in saying that, I and a lot of other cancers (i presume), don't always ask for attention. No. I understand and respect the need for space in a relationship, in fact, I think it's important to have space. But when we do spend time with our partners, or potential partners, we expect 'quality' time. In other words, it is more about 'quality' than 'quantity'. You can be very available in spending time with us, but if you're doing so just out of obligation, we will sense that and resent you for it. 'Quality' is key here guys, and remember, there is no need to be afraid of us, we just need to be understood. Good luck to whoever is involved with a cancer girl or guy. We are extremely loyal and are worth it - you can count on that. 🙂
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