Heartbroken Again...

Let me start off by saying, I absolutely love Cancer men and sadly that seems to be my problem. My first love was a Cancer and I loved him with all I had. After a year, he ended up breaking my heart and it took me many years to get over it. In fact, I don't know if I'll ever be completely over it. When you experience a love like that, it changes you forever. Well fast forward to seven years later and another Cancer man found me. And of course, I fell head over heels in love...

During the year we were together, we constantly made time for one another. I was always driving down to see him and we were always just happy being together. He never failed to sweep me up off of my feet with how sweet he was. The only problem is that he wasn't all that great at communicating in person. Which brings us to his dark addiction and that is alcohol. He relied on alcohol to make him more outgoing. So sadly he was never very talkative unless it was through messages or when he wasn't sober. That was a big problem in our relationship, but I was so blinded by love that I didn't care.

We had always talked about the future and made plans. I honestly thought he was the man I was going to marry and he always told me that he could see me being the mother of his children. Three weeks ago, I get a text from him saying that he went to a strip club with his friends the night before. I felt really hurt by it, but I was willing to look past it. He kept apologizing and promising me that he would never hurt me like that ever again. He said that he never wanted to lose me because of his stupid self. Fast forward to several days later, he comes up to visit me. He seemed like something was off, but he insisted that he was just tired. The whole day he was quieter than usual, but I tried not to let it get to me. He offered to take me to dinner and a movie, so we went and had a good time.

After the movie, he told me he wasn't going to spend the night again. He said he had to work early the next day and didn't want to drive back in the morning. Right then and there, my stomach dropped. The bad feeling in my stomach was spreading like wildfire. Something wasn't right. So, I asked him flat out, "Seriously, what is going on?" He got all quiet and started saying that he had realized that it's not working between us. I asked him if it was about the strip club and he said that was part of it. He said he wouldn't have went there if he had been truly happy with me...

(Continued in Comments)

What solidified that fact to him was that he said he had stayed up the other night talking to some other girl. Right then and there, I lost it.
I couldn't stop crying and freaking out. My whole world was crashing around me. I kept asking him why and what did I do wrong? He just kept insisting it was all his faut and he didn't want to hurt me anymore. I have never felt more confused or betrayed in my life.



What makes all of this even worse is that I was supposed to move in with him this upcoming week.
He did all of this just two weeks before. He said it was better this way because he knew it would eventually not work out. And he said he had just realized the day before he broke up with me. Seriously?! How do you throw away a year of love in a matter of a day?! Especially when he had told me just two days before the breakup that he loved me and that was never going to change. He said that he wanted to live together because he definitely saw a future with me. Yet he turns around and just leaves me. I am obviously not doing very well since this happened. It'll be a week tomorrow and I'm still falling apart. I thought I had finally found the one for me and now everything just feels like a lie.


So please, if anyone can give me some guidance on what happened here, I would greatly appreciate it. I thought Cancers and Scorpios are supposed to be one of the greatest matches. And it definitely felt that way, but now I wonder if I should just stay away from them now? For they are the only ones who seem to make me happier than I've ever been and then be able to completely break me out of nowhere? I will appreciate any insight on this. Thank you so very much. Oh and I'm sorry this is so long. Can you tell that I'm a mess? Haha.

Scorpio/Cancer is definitely a great match. He seems like he doesn't understand how valuable of a relationship he had with you. He may be still immature in his sign and most Cancers who are immature tend to seek higher or different levels of energy (grass is greener syndrome). He's basically testing his limits. Scorpios have great compatible energy for Cancers. It's peaceful and stable; however, peaceful and stable can equal complacency. It will make a Cancer man seek something more, not knowing that he has it perfect right where he is. But don't worry......he'll DEFINITELY regret it. Once he feels that empty spot in heart. He'll feel like a valuable piece of himself is missing.......

Thank you so much for answering, I truly appreciate it. We really were an amazing match and it honestly felt like he was my soulmate, which is why all of this is just killing me... I think you are absolutely right though, he must not be mature enough yet for a stable relationship. He just turned 27 and I had hoped that would be a suitable age for him to settle down. After all he was the one who asked me to move in with him. So maybe he got cold feet about it?
I just found the timing awfully strange. We had been waiting a year to finally be together and then he just sabotages everything at the last minute? Oh and I found out that the girl he is talking to is someone that his friend often hooked up with! I feel as if maybe I didn't know him at all... Was I in love with a lie this whole time? Also is it common for Cancer men to have issues with alcohol?

@True Cancer Male. .you give alot of good advice .I've been reading some of your comments in various threads.Keep it up! You seem like a good male friend to have.

@Scorpio Serenity...I think he got cold feet about moving in together and didn't know how to break it to you.

I also think you should go no contact on his ass, try to mend your heart privately and love on yourself more.Know that you deserve wayyyy much more than what he is offering at the moment. I'm sorry you had to go through all this but try and see if you can find a lesson in all of this. I'm sure there is one hidden in all of this and know that time will lessen the pain.

Sounds very much like the worst version of an immature cancer. Cancer traits aside... Why would you want to be someone with a drinking problem? If I were you I'd be taking this as a blessing. I know but the heart wants what it wants but believe me you saved yourself tears of heartache. Try to recover and overcome dear.

Awww this is very sad. Well thank goodness you didn't move in with him. He seems really immature and confused. And a total block head if he's playing games.

Do you have any friends in another town nearby? Maybe you should take off and go on an adventure with them.

Thank you everyone for all of your comments. It really means a lot to me. I wish I would have known about the no contact approach sooner. The other day I did message him in hopes of getting some closure from him. Yet all he has done is give me more bullshit excuses that just don't make sense. He said that maybe he was lying to himself into thinking he wanted to make this real and other things that just didn't make sense. I feel as if maybe I never knew him at all and it's crushing me... I also found out that the girl he is talking to is a Virgo and six years younger than him. Maybe he prefers her because she drinks more than I do?


I know that I am much better off and everyone keeps telling me that it's a blessing that this all happened before I actually moved in with him. Yet it still doesn't take away the inevitable pain in my heart. Despite his demons, I truly do love him and now it all just feels like such a sad waste. I put so much effort into our relationship and I know that I was such a great girlfriend to him. That's why none of this makes sense. And yes maybe he will come back, but I know the right thing for me to do is to just let him go. Even if it tears me up inside to do so. I've fallen into such a deep depression from all of this and I just feel so hopeless. I'm nearly 26 years old and I'm afraid my heart will always end up getting broken. For it has happened far too many times before and ny biggest fear is that I will end up alone... 😢

Posted by kissmygrits
Awww this is very sad. Well thank goodness you didn't move in with him. He seems really immature and confused. And a total block head if he's playing games.

Do you have any friends in another town nearby? Maybe you should take off and go on an adventure with them.

Well that's the thing, the majority of my friends have all gotten married and moved away. And so I was honestly so very excited that it seemed like my chance had finally arrived. Yet I was wrong.

Posted by ScorpioSerenity
Thank you so much for answering, I truly appreciate it. We really were an amazing match and it honestly felt like he was my soulmate, which is why all of this is just killing me... I think you are absolutely right though, he must not be mature enough yet for a stable relationship. He just turned 27 and I had hoped that would be a suitable age for him to settle down. After all he was the one who asked me to move in with him. So maybe he got cold feet about it?
I just found the timing awfully strange. We had been waiting a year to finally be together and then he just sabotages everything at the last minute? Oh and I found out that the girl he is talking to is someone that his friend often hooked up with! I feel as if maybe I didn't know him at all... Was I in love with a lie this whole time? Also is it common for Cancer men to have issues with alcohol?

I wouldn't say cold feet but he definitely got complacent. The moves he made with you aren't typical of a Cancer man. It seems like he was serious and genuine in his actions, but he's just immature in his sign. Like i said, he won't realize it until later.

She probably has a energy that he's not use to and will soon find out that it's not right for him. His curiosity is roaming. YOU WERE NOT IN LOVE WITH A LIE. He's just not as ready as he thought he was, but life will teach him the hard way. The best thing you can do is don't let him read your emotions. If you keep reaching out to him or expressing your feelings towards him, it will only give him emotional confirmation and he'll stay in that complacent zone with you. Make him feel uncomfortable, like he's lost you and he will straighten out a bit. It's a crazy emotional game, but we Cancers can't walk a straight line. We're always side-stepping.....smh

I don't believe that alcoholism is limited to any one sign. I sometimes feel that I'm immune to addictions. Cancers have strong will power and we can resist any temptation as long as emotions aren't involved.

Do you think the distance also made him complacent? Before all of this went down, I was in Arizona for two months. He seemed sort of distant then by not responding to my text messages a lot of the time and was always going out drinking with his friends. He told me that he was trying to get his drinking habit all out of the way. So then he wouldn't be drinking as much when we lived together. The girl he is talking to is a Virgo and she isn't 21 yet. Perhaps he prefers her over me because she drinks and I hardly do. I think you're right about the different energy being appealing to him. His first love was also a Scorpio and I don't think he ever truly got over her. And then his last two relationships before me only lasted a year also and they were with a Sagittarius and a Gemini. They both ended up breaking his heart. So again there is the whole opposites appeal.

I do regret reaching out to him at all because anything he has said to me has only made me question my heart even more. I am done reaching out to him though. I will take your advice and just leave him be. I just wonder why this has happened to me twice with a Cancer man. They love me so deeply and then end up leaving me out of nowhere. They always end up jumping into another relationship afterwards as well. Is it something I'm doing or were they both just immature in their sign? Oh if only I knew his whole chart...

Posted by ScorpioSerenity
Do you think the distance also made him complacent? Before all of this went down, I was in Arizona for two months. He seemed sort of distant then by not responding to my text messages a lot of the time and was always going out drinking with his friends. He told me that he was trying to get his drinking habit all out of the way. So then he wouldn't be drinking as much when we lived together. The girl he is talking to is a Virgo and she isn't 21 yet. Perhaps he prefers her over me because she drinks and I hardly do. I think you're right about the different energy being appealing to him. His first love was also a Scorpio and I don't think he ever truly got over her. And then his last two relationships before me only lasted a year also and they were with a Sagittarius and a Gemini. They both ended up breaking his heart. So again there is the whole opposites appeal.

I do regret reaching out to him at all because anything he has said to me has only made me question my heart even more. I am done reaching out to him though. I will take your advice and just leave him be. I just wonder why this has happened to me twice with a Cancer man. They love me so deeply and then end up leaving me out of nowhere. They always end up jumping into another relationship afterwards as well. Is it something I'm doing or were they both just immature in their sign? Oh if only I knew his whole chart...

Most Cancers loosen up whenever they drink. We get flighty and it kinda drowns out the emotional weight we hold. But i'm sure everyone/sign has their own particular reasons for being dependent with alcohol. It seems like he's trying to fix himself because it sounds like he's been hurt pretty bad.

He's definitely immature in his sign. I went through a lot of what he's experiencing in my teenage years (lucky me). YOU ARE DOING NOTHING WRONG. You are getting Cancer men to commit and be straight forward and that shows you're doing everything right; unfortunately, the guys you chose were all immature.

That definitely makes sense. The only time he would ever really talk to me and open up was if alcohol was involved. He told me that since he is shy, he likes how drinking makes him more outgoing. And I think he has become seriously addicted to that feeling. He had told me before that the last two relationships he had before me, all started because he met them when he was drinking. And he did end up living with both of them, only to have them leave him shortly after because of his drinking. So I know he has been hurt, but I had always stuck by him no matter what. I just never truly realized how much of an alcoholic he is, but I was so terribly blinded by love.


I guess I didn't even think about him being immature, because of how serious he always was with me. I used to believe we made such an amazing couple because we just fit together so well. And everything he told me were things that I have been waiting to hear my entire life. For me with Cancer men, it has always just been effortless in relationships with them. And that's why I am so crushed because after my first relationship with a Cancer was so lifechanging, yet also heartbreaking, I had been longing to find another relationship like that. So when another Cancer found me, I felt that for sure I had gotten it right this time. If I could end up with a Cancer man in the end, I feel that I truly would have a happy life. I'm just really scared to ever get involved with one again though. Is it true that Cancer men are never truly satisfied and are always looking for the next best thing? And do they end up cheating after all? I'd like to believe that isn't the case.

Posted by ScorpioSerenity

Posted by kissmygrits
Awww this is very sad. Well thank goodness you didn't move in with him. He seems really immature and confused. And a total block head if he's playing games.

Do you have any friends in another town nearby? Maybe you should take off and go on an adventure with them.

Well that's the thing, the majority of my friends have all gotten married and moved away. And so I was honestly so very excited that it seemed like my chance had finally arrived. Yet I was wrong.

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UGH! I hate that! I'm in the same boat. I've made a couple of new friends and one of them is my road trip buddy. I would work on that. Or contact the friends still single but away and ask if you can visit. My friends would visit me when I lived in NOLA. We had a ball and yes some of them would come down after a break up and they had a blast.

Something to think about. You should be happy and not be in a rut. Get out of that rut!

instead of absolutely loving cancer men, how about taking some time and absolutely loving yourself? when you achieve that, you'll know what you will and wont tolerate. let trash go and focus on yourself. that's the only remedy.

Posted by ScorpioSerenity
Is it true that Cancer men are never truly satisfied and are always looking for the next best thing? And do they end up cheating after all? I'd like to believe that isn't the case.

"Is it true that Cancer men are never truly satisfied and are always looking for the next best thing?"

I'm sure that statement could apply to any sign, not just Cancers. You do have people who never truly make up their minds on what they want or who they want. I can tell you that Cancers are slow moving creatures. Most Cancers don't truly learn different personalities and energies until later on in life. Many are unaware of their own emotions and how powerful they can be until they go through heartbreaks and mistakes. So if an immature Cancer is in a peaceful, emotionally deep relationship, he may not even realize he found his soulmate.

"And do they end up cheating after all?"

Once again, that statement could apply to any sign, not just Cancers. No sign is perfect and everyone has their own flaws and mistakes. Don't allow previous relationships to ruin future opportunities. Don't be afraid of getting involved with another Cancer, if it happens again. Don't look at any of your heartbreaks as failures, just take them all as lessons; learn from them and become wiser in your next relationship. Smile at the good times and make a mental note of the bad times. Life moves on...

His sign has nothing to do with his behavior on drinking and wanting to talk to (or more?) other women. He gave you what you wanted to have and to hear. Either he's very immature, or he's a complete fraud. The fact that he needs to drink to be social is a huge red flag.

I'm sorry you're hurting with this, but you're still really young (you don't feel that way now, but you will when you look back in 20 yrs). Perspective is everything! At least you didn't get saddled to an alcoholic.