How long do you Cancer men take space for?

I am a typical Sag, he is a typical Cancer. I upset him a few times and was able to apologize and all was fine.
This time unfortunately he wants to breathe he says. Wants time. I gave a week with no communication and when we talked
he said he still needs more time. Wants to analyze and think about things. He did say that absolutely he will text to let me know he is thinking of me but I am nervous he was just saying that.
I am thinking of giving him a good month and then calling for drinks and keeping it light. Any clues?

Okay, you'll drive people up a wall very quickly here. We already talked about this on your other thread. Did you read any of it?

Your best bet is to leave him ALONE.

Don't piss of a Cancer, don't. You're messing with an unseen fire and when we blow, you're done. DONE. There will be nothing but ice cold, ignore, forever gone. Finished. Treat you as though you are dead.

You're being disrespectful at this point, and not taking him seriously, not hearing a word he said or told you...or the people who have already given you answers, and are only thinking of yourself and your needs.

I can go weeks, and months. There's an idea for ya. So go on with your life, work on yourself. Fix your insecurities, and realize where you are wrong, and continue to make the same mistakes with him. You'll drive him away, cancer man or not.

Learn to really really listen. Comprehend what people tell you.

The plan is to give it a solid month or more.
Haven't not am I going to contact before then
Was just trying a new post to get opinions from
Other cancerians.
Sorry to bother. It's put to bed.

I know how you feel, Sagglady71.. I wonder if I'll ever hear from him again, or if I'll ever really get over him. He definitely left an impression on me like no other. Though harsh, OceanDeep is right.. It's important to give them space to reflect and use that time for us to heal. If we are not who we were (or better) than what attracted them to us in the first place, then why would they bother?

If you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to msg me. (hug)

The reason I sound harsh, is because she posted this already ... albeit in another topic area. Yes, she can post as much as she wants; however, generally when ppl continue to post same and/or similar threads it's because they don't like or trust the answers they've gotten...they have an answer already, and want some to agree with them so they can do it, permission if you will. Not saying that is her intentions, but it is appearing that way.

I think the thing for non cancers that is hard to understand, is that how can you have a real relationship with someone when you won't communicate for weeks or months at a time? I don't understand how anyone thinks that is reasonable. I could never marry someone that gets upset rightly so or not and take a month off from us. That just does not work for me, especially if we have a family together and etc. I think the Cancers that take a month because they need space are a little immature and acting like a brat. Just my Aqua opinion.

When I tell someone I want space, the more they pressure me after I've explained why or are aware of the reasons why, the more I distance myself from them. To me, it's called respecting my need for time alone and anything short of that is disrespectful and says a lot about THEM as a person not me.

I can tell you, if I love or care about someone I dont go weeks and months without talking to them unless it is between them and I, and something has happened. But if I'm asking for space from the person I love, am dating, or care about? Clearly is not a good sign, and I am pondering my then, now, and future. If they don't respect my need for shell time, it just pushes me more quickly to a decision.

Shell time just isn't doing nothing. Shell time is rejuvenating our souls, minds, spirit. Finding ourselves, ridding ourselves of problems and things we don't like about ourselves or in our lives, soul searching, a rebirth. For me it is a must. And absolute must. I need quiet time daily, with no interruptions to think, dream, go over things, be sad, be angry, plot lol Letting go of built up emotions, and the emotions and attributes we picked up from others.

That's why I said to OP in her first thread to give him space, give him that month, let him find himself, and for her to find herself. It would do her more good to concentrate on things and problem solve those areas in her life and self, and be able to show to herself and him she wants to continually improve herself both as a person, but also as a partner.

As that too, at least for me, is something I strive for...to be a better partner, a better person, to learn from my mistakes, poor choices, and those of others by observation so that when I do meet someone, I have no doubt or question in my mind of who I am, what I want, but additionally what I can bring positive into a relationship and into their lives. I want to continue to grow, learn, and expand myself to better myself. That is shell time, and it's not selfish. It's call self preservation 🙂

Well said Ocean. I picked up this book called Boundaries in Dating. Pretty good so far. I have not and don't plan on contacting the guy I was dating. I just have this sixth sense that all will be o.k. I guess time will tell.
We didn't argue or end our conversation on a bad note at all. He said absolutely to texting me to let me know he is
thinking of me. I hope that is true.
Ocean, do you cancers really seek out the person you took space from? My only concern is that he may think we are
completely broke up where I think he is taking his space

Happy Easter to you all!

Oh btw.. I looked up our natal charts and I am sagg with virgo moon and he has an aries moon.
Apparently we are like magnets but communicate differently
It makes sense a bit because are the feeling we get when together and how the world disappears when we are out. Also because we do tend to think differently.

I totally understand what you are saying and it makes sense.

Just to add my two cents - i'm not really sure what the story between you guys is - but i've been dating a cancer for six months now - and being a fire sign I have those streaks of impatience and aggressiveness in me which are completely opposite to his - however from my own experience with him i'll tell you this - I went thru the same thing with him two months after he and I became really really close - one night he and i became extremely intimate and the closest I'd ever felt to him - and then bamm he disappears next day onwards - after a week of excuses of being buzy i finally confronted him with tears and he told him how he was feeling restricted and needed space and didn't know what he want - he told me he needed time off and think and analyze things - and meanwhile he wanted NO contact with me - no messages - no calls - no meeting - nothing. I was hurt and told him fine - but internally resolved to let go off a guy who had disrespected my feelings like this. I cut all contact with him - he resurfaced after ten days and I told him I'm already over him and don't want him back (ofcourse I wanted him back, but I was so scared he'll hurt me again). He apologized and apologized, begged me for days and days to come back into me life and finally I accepted him. See the truth him, I desperately wanted him back all along, but I didn't show it.

I let him believe that if he wants his space - he can have it! And that's the key to being with a cancer man. Don't smother him, you don't need to, he'll give you all the love and attention you want (and perhaps more) if you don't ask him for it. He'll give it freely.

In today's date we are thicker than ever and he's with me all the time - standing by me through thick and thin. But what he expects in return is for me to let him be when he needs it. A very small price to pay in exchange of all the love and concern he showers me with endlessly. I encourage him to go spend time with his friends, get a breather from our relationship whenever he wishes to - and it's been over three months since he's spent time with any of his friends refusing to go away from me.

Just step back and let him come to you. If he doesn't, then fellow fire lady, you're much too awesome anyway.

I want to update...
I have texted my ex a couple times. One was work related and the other was a question I had about something only he knew about.
He responded to both which to me is a good sign. I did not mention anything about him and I. I also found out from a
mutual friend that he is not dating anyone. That he is spending more time at the gym.
We haven't actually spoke since mid-march.
I want to call him just to talk or ask him to lunch. I want to keep things light.
He is Cancer/Aries. I am Sagg/Virgo

A part of me is afraid to contact him but a part of me thinks a platonic friendship could be refreshing and maybe the
beginning of something new.
Any thought?

Well if you want a good friend, then tell you would he like to go to lunch, & ask how his day is going. Compliment him too. I'll tell you something, im a sun~cancer, Moon~Scorpio. My mom is sagittarius just like you. I notice she may be harsh with her words sometimes, but she thinks it's normal. Sometimes when she can be talking normal, it seems kinda harsh to me. I get sad, & i go to be alone in my room. But guess what i come back later on to check on her, & i always talk to her as if nothing happened. To some this up for you, Your cancer guy STILL cares for you, but sometimes your choice of words may seem cold to him. BUT he will always come back, because he loves you. Just try your best in your heart to make him feel good around you 🙂. Tell him how wonderful he is to you. One thing about us Cancers, if we still love you, we will always come back to you, no matter how hurt you made us. Remember that ok

awkward

way to hijack a thread!!! LOL!!!

OP's gonna get yooooooo!!

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
way to hijack a thread!!! LOL!!!

OP's gonna get yooooooo!!

I am so so sorry it's my first time on this site, and everytime I attempted to post message it kept coming back with 'diagnostic problems' so I just kept posting .................. please forgive me Xx

Posted by virgodreamz
awkward

I am so so sorry please forgive me - first time to post - xxx

@ saggylady

i had a similar close sag girl friend and i had feelings for her but she didnt... i used to tell her too to gimme some space because you people are always in contact with your close friends and so i needed breathing space a bit....anyways ocean deep is a bit exaggerating..1 month is too much...give him a week....ignorance and shelling is just a ploy sometimes to test a girl for her worthiness...so contact him after a while and be direct and honest likeu saggis are but dont hurt him. dont lose all communication channels u might turn his switch off! i have one too...and there are gals who are dead for me! saggi and cancer have something beautiful in them ..dont lose it..it helps each other s soul to heal and both can improve and learn much from each other like we did 😢 anyways...good luck! u r a lucky gal!

Posted by virgodreamz
awkward

Lmao. Girl you're hilarious 🙂

OK here goes, met this guy (Cancer) great chemistry, etc., sweet nothings etc., then he told me he did'nt think it would work out between us .............. I was very upset at this outcome as I assumed that we had gelled quite well he told me he had never been drawn to or liked someone so instantly as he had with me I was one of the most likeable, interesting people he had ever met ........... confusing signals. We had had sex (which was entirely against my own rules) but hey ho so double whammy for me.

So I am now not only hurt but feeling quite cheap as well!!

Couple of days later he contacts me by text to ask if I am OK - I said GREAT how are you?? He said he had the blues but did'nt want to talk about it ........ would I like contact I said OK however I kept the conversation on a 'friendzone' level as did he - however as I liked him so much my feelings were developing even more over this period of time.
More confusion - he called me everyday - he responded to my text within seconds - however I was concerned he was just stringing me (he is a loner) and I was just someone to talk to. After much introspection and during our telephone conversation I said to him ' I don't know what it is you want from me' ............... he said he did'nt know either he is confused ........... and did'nt want to hurt me again - so I told him I could'nt be his friend, which upset him as he said he loves talking to me but I felt strong enough to say that I was'nt prepared to hang around whilst he sought 'clarity' as I valued myself too much and I had other offers on the table and he was holding me in a place. Finished the call by saying I maybe would call him when I was next in town !!

Few days later feeling sad and sorry 'AGAIN' I texted him to said I missed him terribly and I hoped he was OK ?? ........... he responded by saying he was missing me too but he was so stressed he can't think straight (workload) and probably would be like this until he returns from his business trip which is couple of weeks away - he finished text by saying he Hoped I was OK ??

WTF is going on here - what should I do —
Move on (which is not what I want to do) I want him, and I want to love and care for him but I have to get some clarity (we live at a distance from

Help!!! I need help with my cancer please someone

I've been talking to a cancer for about a year . I'm a sag now eve thing was great until one day he went through my phone and saw messages he did not like but in my head and to my knowledge we both establish that we were talking but he as well had messages in his phone but not as much as mine. We both agreed to be friends after because I won him over after he told me he needed space. Since then he has been dating other guys but he still makes me first priority. We stopped having sex when we broke up but one day I was over his place and just so happen looked in his drawer and found that condoms were missing I found out he has been having sex with one person. Now I confronted him very calmly and jokingly about it but he flipped out at me and felt like I did respected him. On top of that the next day I manage to find out one of the guys he was on a date with on social media and he found out because he has told the person about me and my which I was surprised he did if that was supposedly a date. After that I apologies and he tells me heed need space for 2 weeks and I should get myself together in that time also. What do I do ? Do I give him space ? Do I try to win him over like I did last time? Why did he give me an aproximate time like that? Does it mean he still care ? I'm full of questions I'm also thinking we wants me to really open up my feelings to him that's why he been acting this way. Please help !

I wanted to get advise. I'm a Leo woman who started a relationship with a male cancer roughly 5 months ago. We started the relationship pretty quick and real strong. We spent every single day, and night together. We had our spats because he would blow me off to do other things, but want me there waiting on him to be done. We had our final spat on Friday evening, and the conclusion was that he said he couldn't deal with it anymore and hasn't spoken to me since. I have tried messaging him several times apologizing, told him I loved him, etc. He has gone completely gone cold on me like I don't even exist. We have a few mutual friends including his sister who have told me that he is going through it even though he hasn't said anything. One even mentioned he has asked to see how I am doing. What are the chances that he will come back? What do I do? I feel hopeless!

Dear he is running away,how come you couldn't see that,but if he loved you hell come back,its just that the time they want for space is running away,but you know what f*** him,move on,go out take drinks then do your normal stuff and pray for a better partner, because from what I know sags are kinda wicked,adamant ,have a lot of energy and dominating and I'm sure a crab can do a lot of running with that, best of luck.

I would too like to mAke a new topic about this ... I would love to know how . It’s been 1 month and still no contact