I don't understand cancers

I just don't understand this water signs?

I am at a loss as to HOW the HELL does someone love someone that emotionally, verballylly and physically abuse someone and they still love them.

My cancer friend has been married and has gone through this with her husband. I am at a loss when she says she still loves him. He recently moved out. GOOD THING. She is greiving over the end of the marriage. Understandable that it came to an end. However, she says her head is over it, but her heart doesn't want to let it go.

I don't get it. The FIRST instance of physical abuse I would be done. Do understand the second chance. But after the SECOND instance.... she kicked him out, but still loves him and cares for him.

Me? He would by bye bye and I wouldn't care what he was doing or living or how lonely he was or how poor he was or how he was surving. She cares. I wouldn't.

Am I that cold or do I have a point?

I understand..I have been in a lighter similar situations before. I think it really comes down to the attachment of fond memories and living partly in delusion that things will change. But mostly it's the clinging to the yester years when things were good(or at least in our mind). However usually when we are done, we are done.

I don't think that's unusual. You don't have to love what someone does to love them, if that was the case then things would be simpler!

Truecap, I understand your perspective; physical abuse is as instant dealer breaker. No second chances in my book.

This being said, let me give you a suggestion. To be a good friend to this woman, step out of your own shoes. Don't try to understand her from YOUR point of view.

Difficult as it may be for you, try to put yourself in her skin. She has likely spent many years with him, has seen his beautiful side as well as his ugly side, perhaps she also has children with him (you didn't say), and so on.

By looking at her situation from the outside, you can not know her pain. Pretend you were Cancerian and see if it helps you.

Just my take...

Meh! We love some of our exes... "somewhat" but to get to da really nitty gritty, the meat of it all here's

Aqua has it right. It's not sign specific. Abuse is a strange thing, and not many abusers start off the relationship with their ugly side. They get a person good and hooked, then slowly start turning up the heat. Think of it as how they cook frogs. Since my ex wasn't hitting me, I spent years not really realizing that he was abusing me. The kind of people who abuse are expert manipulators. They perfect mind fucking people. Your friend will have to figure out how to cut the strings on her love for him if she wants to get out.

Posted by Moonbutter
I understand..I have been in a lighter similar situations before. I think it really comes down to the attachment of fond memories and living partly in delusion that things will change. But mostly it's the clinging to the yester years when things were good(or at least in our mind). However usually when we are done, we are done.

That is EXACTLY what she said.

Posted by SpiceNSugar
Truecap, I understand your perspective; physical abuse is as instant dealer breaker. No second chances in my book.

This being said, let me give you a suggestion. To be a good friend to this woman, step out of your own shoes. Don't try to understand her from YOUR point of view.

Difficult as it may be for you, try to put yourself in her skin. She has likely spent many years with him, has seen his beautiful side as well as his ugly side, perhaps she also has children with him (you didn't say), and so on.

By looking at her situation from the outside, you can not know her pain. Pretend you were Cancerian and see if it helps you.

Just my take...

I'm being there for her. I'm trying to see things from her point of view. Even though I don't understand, I listen and I'm there and I hug her and am being the best friend I can be.

They've only been married two years and his behavior began almost immediately, at least within a month of their marriage.

Thanks guys for giving me perspective. And I know it's not fair to call out sign specifics, I really wasn't blaming the sign, but she is a Cancer.

I am proud of her though because she did stand up and ask him to leave. That takes a lot of strength and I recognize that. She knows she has a good support system.

Posted by crabflows
yep Capricorn are really obsess with Cancers

I've peeped this a long time ago too.

Abuse is psychological, it's a normalized thing for this person who happens to be a Cancer.

Capricorn doesn't really understand people in general, much less a Cancer. I don't think you have a place to speak about that. Most Caps are socially inept altogether even a little airheaded and can't see past a surface point.. I won't waste my time explaining what should be understood.

If only they could delete a zodiac sign. *Sigh*

Really? Condemning someone for reaching out and trying to gain a perspective so they can understand.
Okay.