Need help with a cancer guy

Quick background. My husband cheats on me so our marriage is over (filing for divorce soon)

Got very close to this cancer guy who belongs to the same charity organization I do and we both have executive position. We hung out a few times, got extremely close as in we opened up about our past and what experiences made us who we were, said we loved each other as friends but the closeness felt like much more although nothing has happened.

I am much older than he is although everyone says we look the same age.

He had some health issues and I had to lie to him to get him to the doctor. After he found out I lied, although he is better and he understands I had good intentions, he now told me he needs space from me.

I agreed but he keeps on coming around doing work for the organization at the same time I do when there is no need for him. he told me he has a girlfriend now, but he was out with us on NYE when there was no need for him to be. Despite asking me for space he still hugged me and joked with me when we said goodbye. Now I am detached because I'm hurt... I'm a scorpio. and really don't know what to do with him!!!

Any idea of what I should do to get him back to at least being my close friend if not my lover which is what I would like

Don’t lie to him. You should understand, you are a scorp. We hate lies just as much you guys do. Maybe sincere apology would be the way back to him? Detachment for sure not.

Seems like the lie and the “new gf” is just an excuse to end things with you.

Yeah... I only lied to make sure he got to the doctor because he hinted at suicide... that freaked me out and the normal trying to talk him into going wasn't working. Otherwise, I would have never lied. I hate lies myself...

An actual psychologist recommended I did that, as she was worried for him as well... what a mess.

I spoke to a few people who know him and they all said he does have a crush on me but he knows it's would be too hard to make it work with the divorce, and the age difference, and the fact that we work together.

I just wish he gave me a chance... My first time getting "involved" with a cancer and I don't understand them. Surely if he wants distance he shouldn't come to work when I'm on duty if there is no need for him to do so. And especially if you have a gf, you spend NYE with her, not on duty with me after you told me not to contact you.

So confused. I might be reading too much into it and he just wants to be friends. I just need a bit of guidance. We're bound to see a lot of each other because of work and I don't want it to be awkward. Any suggestions on how I can bring it back to "normal" and then see if it goes somewhere?

Posted by Argentum
Don’t lie to him. You should understand, you are a scorp. We hate lies just as much you guys do. Maybe a sincere apology would be the way back to him? Detachment for sure not.

You're absolutely right! I did apologize and he told me he knows I had good intentions but he needs space.

I'm respecting his boundaries... I really don't want to be away from him, but that was his request so I'm granting him his space.

Is that what cancers want? Or do they say that to see if you'll fight for them? Ugh... so complicated 😢

Posted by pinkbird03
Seems like the lie and the “new gf” is just an excuse to end things with you.

That's exactly what I thought... but then he showed up twice at work when there was absolutely no need for him to do that, and after having asked for space earlier in the day, he ran to hug me in front of everyone when we met in the evening at the end of the shift.

My head is spinning! 😢

You haven't even started divorce proceedings.

How about you completely finish one relationship before trying to get into another. Jfc

Posted by littledoc

Posted by pinkbird03
Seems like the lie and the “new gf” is just an excuse to end things with you.

That's exactly what I thought... but then he showed up twice at work when there was absolutely no need for him to do that, and after having asked for space earlier in the day, he ran to hug me in front of everyone when we met in the evening at the end of the shift.

My head is spinning! 😢

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Your best move is to walk away and let him chase you a bit. If he really cares, he will keep coming back. Cancers love attention though. So it’s hard to figure out if that’s all he wants or if he wants that plus more.