promiscuous—

My boyfriend just told me my friend was promiscuous. Right away I got pissed. Not sure if he was calling her a ho, if she flirted with him or if he's curious. When I asked him why would he say that, he just says she is with no explanation. Why am I so pissed about it?! Should I be? He's a cancer, so he sucks when it comes to explaining butter.

Even if she is promiscuous, if he gave no explanation for his accusation, his intentions are suspect. If he had a point to make to warn you about her, he should have stated so. Ask him again. If it's true, he can say why I'm sure. He has either heard, read, experienced and/or observed something, or he hasn't and he's being condemning for the hell of it.

But if she is, does it matter? He isn't in an intimate relationship with her (I hope), he's in one with you. And if he was secretly in one with her in the past, then it's strange that they both have been silent about that, but that doesn't necessarily matter either as long as they aren't still involved. And is he labelling this (if it's true) correctly? Some women are labelled that for having a higher than average number of partners, but that doesn't say anything immoral about them necessarily, it can be a judgement based on archaic ideas about female sexuality.

Posted by ariesheart
My boyfriend just told me my friend was promiscuous. Right away I got pissed. Not sure if he was calling her a ho, if she flirted with him or if he's curious. When I asked him why would he say that, he just says she is with no explanation. Why am I so pissed about it?! Should I be? He's a cancer, so he sucks when it comes to explaining butter.

Because she slept with him, or because she wouldn't?

I would also need an explanation for that statement.

Posted by ariesheart
My boyfriend just told me my friend was promiscuous. Right away I got pissed. Not sure if he was calling her a ho, if she flirted with him or if he's curious. When I asked him why would he say that, he just says she is with no explanation. Why am I so pissed about it?! Should I be? He's a cancer, so he sucks when it comes to explaining butter.

He and his friends are probably screwing her.

Posted by LunarMaiden

Posted by ariesheart
My boyfriend just told me my friend was promiscuous. Right away I got pissed. Not sure if he was calling her a ho, if she flirted with him or if he's curious. When I asked him why would he say that, he just says she is with no explanation. Why am I so pissed about it?! Should I be? He's a cancer, so he sucks when it comes to explaining butter.

He and his friends are probably screwing her.

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Glad I'm not the only one who got that impression.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by CopperDove

Even if she is promiscuous, if he gave no explanation for his accusation, his intentions are suspect. If he had a point to make to warn you about her, he should have stated so. Ask him again. If it's true, he can say why I'm sure. He has either heard, read, experienced and/or observed something, or he hasn't and he's being condemning for the hell of it.

But if she is, does it matter? He isn't in an intimate relationship with her (I hope), he's in one with you. And if he was secretly in one with her in the past, then it's strange that they both have been silent about that, but that doesn't necessarily matter either as long as they aren't still involved. And is he labelling this (if it's true) correctly? Some women are labelled that for having a higher than average number of partners, but that doesn't say anything immoral about them necessarily, it can be a judgement based on archaic ideas about female sexuality.

Or maybe he shares your view and was saying it without accusation.

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Yes, true, no one but OP heard his tone of voice when he said it, so hard to know what his intent might have been. An odd choice of word to use if he wasn't meaning it in a negative way, but I suppose someone might use it in a neutral way, not knowing it's often seen as insulting.

Tell your boyfriend to mind his business

What a turd! Lol, now he's an expert on heaux behavior
He must be very familiar with that genre

And furthermore what makes her promiscuous his opinion is null as she could easily call him promiscuous as well

Who is he god. Foh.

Posted by ariesheart
My boyfriend just told me my friend was promiscuous. Right away I got pissed. Not sure if he was calling her a ho, if she flirted with him or if he's curious. When I asked him why would he say that, he just says she is with no explanation. Why am I so pissed about it?! Should I be? He's a cancer, so he sucks when it comes to explaining butter.

Sounds like he's gotten to know her better, has observed her behavior and has just come to this conclusion.

If she's easy and puts out that vibe, then guys can read that. So is she promiscuous or not? Has she slept with a lot of guys? Does she sleep with them really fast? Does she have sex for the sake of sex? Is she a flirt? You know her. You know whether she's promiscuous or not. If he's right, then he's right. If he's right, then he's just speaking the truth. If he's wrong, he should know.

So, the concern for him is that old adage of "birds of a feather flock together". He may not believe this about you, however, he could be worried about how you are perceived by other people (his friends, his family, his coworkers). If other people know she's promiscuous, they may think you are too, which means other people will think his girlfriend is as well, so it reflects back on him in some twisted way.

He's a Cancer, right? He's worried what momma's going to think.

Posted by RumiLove
I usually would trust my man's judgement.

My dad is very judgemental about the friends I make. He was never wrong. Maybe it's my culture(Asian) but, I cannot make friends with people my dad does not like.. Around 16 I rebelled and used to accuse my dad of being overly critical/making wrong assumptions about my friends but it's proven time and again that he was correct.

Like someone indicated, be careful about the company you have 🙂 ...you needn't cut off your friendship, just take it as a sign and be watchful.

Caps do come across as judgemental, however, cap gut instinct is rarely wrong.

He met her for the first time. She visited from out of town. I've known her for 15 years and never thought of her that way. She's been around my past boyfriends and they never said anything about her. Never seen her in drama either.

When I got upset, all he can say is "why you so upset? You act like she's your girlfriend"!

Posted by ariesheart
He met her for the first time...

Ahhh...

Posted by thinktoomuch

Posted by ariesheart
When I got upset, all he can say is "why you so upset? You act like she's your girlfriend"!

He´s just jelous of your long term relationship 😄
Some men try to get closer to a woman by dissing other women, because so many women talk shit about each other. But the men don´t know the sistahood!

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Then there may be something to this, if he just met her because

you just introduced them.

I'll buy this.

But if she was part of your social circle, and he randomly blurted

this out for no apparent reason, then I would be more than a

little suspicious.

Posted by ariesheart
When I got upset, all he can say is "why you so upset? You act like she's your girlfriend"!

Does he make minimizing statements like that other times that you get upset about things?

That strikes me as an immature way to handle jealousy, too, like others here are saying.

Thanks for the details about how little he knew her!

before about other woman. But not anyone I'm close with. I dont have many female friends to begin with

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by ariesheart
When I got upset, all he can say is "why you so upset? You act like she's your girlfriend"!

Does he make minimizing statements like that other times that you get upset about things?

That strikes me as an immature way to handle jealousy, too, like others here are saying.

Thanks for the details about how little he knew her!

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Posted by ariesheart
He's said it before about other woman. But not anyone I'm close with. I dont have many female friends to begin with

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by ariesheart
When I got upset, all he can say is "why you so upset? You act like she's your girlfriend"!

Does he make minimizing statements like that other times that you get upset about things?

That strikes me as an immature way to handle jealousy, too, like others here are saying.

Thanks for the details about how little he knew her!

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With the other women he's said it about, is there any truth to his statement?

Are you happy with your relationship with him?

Not sure, it'll be random woman. I live him. I know he loves me. Our families spent this whole Thanksgiving week together. Had a blast all week til this

I "love" him

I wonder why he's so fixated on that, enough to point it out several times about different people.

I have a friend who has an immature, and often very controlling, partner who reacts to his insecurities by making snidely worded lesbian-themed comments about my friend's relationship with me. And I have a friend who experiences the same thing with a good friend of hers. Her friend also has an immature and controlling partner.

Your boyfriend isn't being respectful of you with how he handled that. The people I mentioned above are disrespectful to their partners in other ways, too.

How you let this sucka talk smack about your friends?
The question is, did u defend her?

I dated a scorpio who talked shit about all his friends. An aries man did the same and it left a bad taste in my mouth.

I thought only women were that insecure to bash each other and establish a pecking order.

When men do it. Im like........

Posted by DMV
How you let this sucka talk smack about your friends?
The question is, did u defend her?

I sure did! Flipped a table on his ass!

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by ariesheart
He's said it before about other woman. But not anyone I'm close with. I dont have many female friends to begin with

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by ariesheart
When I got upset, all he can say is "why you so upset? You act like she's your girlfriend"!

Does he make minimizing statements like that other times that you get upset about things?

That strikes me as an immature way to handle jealousy, too, like others here are saying.

Thanks for the details about how little he knew her!

Does he watch a lot of porn?

Is he dominating?

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He is insecure and dominating. Even gets jealous of me hanging out with family sometimes. He always wants my attention

Yes, Arielle83 is likely right. He won't be capable of loving you in a healthy way unless he works on the control issues he seems to have.

Posted by ariesheart
My boyfriend just told me my friend was promiscuous. Right away I got pissed. Not sure if he was calling her a ho, if she flirted with him or if he's curious. When I asked him why would he say that, he just says she is with no explanation. Why am I so pissed about it?! Should I be? He's a cancer, so he sucks when it comes to explaining butter.

Don't bring her around him ever again. Find better friends. This girl seems untrustworthy.

We talked last night about and he says that she gave him a vibe of being real into the opposite sex. I asked him why was he so concerned, and he said he thought I should know.....—?

Also, his friend that we both used to work with came by and was telling me how gorgeous I've gotten since he last saw me. The look my boyfriend gave me nearly caught the house on fire! Then after the guy left, he pretty much blamed me for the guy saying I looked good.

Theeeen, we wanted to drink, but the stores were closed. I have a guy friend that I've known for 10yrs who keeps alcohol in his house. I called him, with my boyfriend next to me, and while I'm on the phone with the guy, my boyfriend yelling, asking if i was I fucking him! The guy heard it all!

Posted by lou.m
It's not the friend that has the issues it's him.

Posted by ariesheart
Not sure, it'll be random woman. I live him. I know he loves me. Our families spent this whole Thanksgiving week together. Had a blast all week til this

Is the issue that severe really? Sometimes we blow things up. If you were fine before this etc it can be just one of those little things etc that blow over.

Is he willing to work on things and letting you have time that you need etc if he is making you unhappy?

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I'm happy with him. He just can be very inappropriate at times.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by ariesheart
He's said it before about other woman. But not anyone I'm close with. I dont have many female friends to begin with

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by ariesheart
When I got upset, all he can say is "why you so upset? You act like she's your girlfriend"!

Does he make minimizing statements like that other times that you get upset about things?

That strikes me as an immature way to handle jealousy, too, like others here are saying.

Thanks for the details about how little he knew her!

Does he watch a lot of porn?

Is he dominating?

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Also, I watch more porn than he does! Why u ask?

Posted by yummycrabsticks
He doesn't have his priorities straight but he likes you

Wow, I said the same thing!!!

Posted by ariesheart
Also, his friend that we both used to work with came by and was telling me how gorgeous I've gotten since he last saw me. The look my boyfriend gave me nearly caught the house on fire! Then after the guy left, he pretty much blamed me for the guy saying I looked good.

Theeeen, we wanted to drink, but the stores were closed. I have a guy friend that I've known for 10yrs who keeps alcohol in his house. I called him, with my boyfriend next to me, and while I'm on the phone with the guy, my boyfriend yelling, asking if i was I fucking him! The guy heard it all!

He's more than inappropriate, he's volatile in a way that could get much worse.

Please be very careful if you're going to continue to be around him.

When he drinks, how does he act?

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by ariesheart
Also, his friend that we both used to work with came by and was telling me how gorgeous I've gotten since he last saw me. The look my boyfriend gave me nearly caught the house on fire! Then after the guy left, he pretty much blamed me for the guy saying I looked good.

Theeeen, we wanted to drink, but the stores were closed. I have a guy friend that I've known for 10yrs who keeps alcohol in his house. I called him, with my boyfriend next to me, and while I'm on the phone with the guy, my boyfriend yelling, asking if i was I fucking him! The guy heard it all!

He's more than inappropriate, he's volatile in a way that could get much worse.

Please be very careful if you're going to continue to be around him.

When he drinks, how does he act?

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He was drinking during all incidents. When he's sober, he's mostly in his shell or really goofy

We've been drinking alot during this Thanksgiving vacation. You know that saying that people shoes their true color when drinking? Could that be it?

Five pages of meaningless fuckery

Posted by incandescentcancer
Five pages of meaningless fuckery

Then get the fuck off

Posted by ariesheart

Posted by incandescentcancer
Five pages of meaningless fuckery

Then get the fuck off

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I did until you brought me back with your #can'tkeepmymouthshut.

Now I am not going to leave and I am going to troll this thread till you cry.

It definitely can bring out a bad side in people. A side that's already there, or they react badly to alcohol.

I'm not a hostile person, but I don't drink more than a small amount, and not often, because it can make me feel hostile in a way that I don't normally.

He shouldn't drink if hostility is what happens to him when he does, or keep it to a minimum.

He was drinking when he referred to other women, not your friend, as promiscuous?

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by ariesheart

Posted by incandescentcancer
Five pages of meaningless fuckery

Then get the fuck off

I did until you brought me back with your #can'tkeepmymouthshut.

Now I am not going to leave and I am going to troll this thread till you cry.

click to expand

It's sad when you ask for advice and people don't know to help others, lend a hand, but rather complain and forget that we all are in need of more wisdom and guidance. But I bet when its them, there's no dumb question

And I don't cry for nobody that hides behind a screen

Posted by CopperDove
It definitely can bring out a bad side in people. A side that's already there, or they react badly to alcohol.

I'm not a hostile person, but I don't drink more than a small amount, and not often, because it can make me feel hostile in a way that I don't normally.

He shouldn't drink if hostility is what happens to him when he does, or keep it to a minimum.

He was drinking when he referred to other women, not your friend, as promiscuous?

No he wasn't. But I think you're right. Never seen him behave this badly. Especially in a few days time. He can be inappropriate, say things without thinking. But I'm an Aries, I can be the same way

Posted by ariesheart

Posted by CopperDove
It definitely can bring out a bad side in people. A side that's already there, or they react badly to alcohol.

I'm not a hostile person, but I don't drink more than a small amount, and not often, because it can make me feel hostile in a way that I don't normally.

He shouldn't drink if hostility is what happens to him when he does, or keep it to a minimum.

He was drinking when he referred to other women, not your friend, as promiscuous?

No he wasn't. But I think you're right. Never seen him behave this badly. Especially in a few days time. He can be inappropriate, say things without thinking. But I'm an Aries, I can be the same way

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Looks like alcohol magnifies his reaction to thoughts that he might have sometimes. He likely has a few underlying issues that you now can be aware of (jealousy, for example) that he doesn't handle maturely so it explodes when his inhibitions are down.

During a time when neither of you is drinking, you can try discussing it with him in an open way, telling him about his behaviour and how it confused you, etc. Hopefully he will work on this, but if not, it isn't good for you to be around him because it can get much worse potentially.

Posted by ariesheart
My boyfriend just told me my friend was promiscuous. Right away I got pissed. Not sure if he was calling her a ho, if she flirted with him or if he's curious. When I asked him why would he say that, he just says she is with no explanation. Why am I so pissed about it?! Should I be? He's a cancer, so he sucks when it comes to explaining butter.

My guess would be, she fucked several of his friends. When you let all the homies tap that you are regarded as slutty and will not be taken seriously by anyone in the circle of friends. The general consensus is that if she let you hit it and then turns around and gives it up to your friend later, she is promiscuous and not gf material.

He probably was just talking to his boys (yes men gossip about sex too!) and heard about her through the grapevine. He mentioned it to you (slip of the tongue?) but refuses to back up with examples because that would be a breach of guy code.