Question for cancer experts

Some background.......cancer I know is very shy in his forties.....has had several relationships and has previously lived with someone, however they fooled around on him and he broke it off....his other relationships have never worked out, and apparently is strongly tied to his family and especially his mother......one of his first relationships the girl gave him a ultimatium he gave her a engagement ring however his mother did not like her and he called it off.....

The last relationship that I know of after the one which fooled around on him was with a fairly big wing nut....she was also a cancer....they were hot and cold for 6-7 years......apparently she is a total pshycho....anyone I digress.....he finally tossed her to the curb this past fall/winter.....I briefly talked to him on news years and then we hit a snag and I am too full of pride....but life goes on........

Anyway shortly thereafter he meet someone had a one night stand and apparently it has turned into a relationship and she is moving in with him......very short time period and he is already bitching and she has not moved in as of yet.....the whole time he has been seeing her he also has been on a dating site for almost the majority of the time and then I guess he made the commitment and blocked his profile......(did not close it just hide it)she is moving to his place.....

I have definately not looked for this information in fact just when he is out of sight and out of mind it comes to light....have not solicited it....

The person that I have talked to has indicated that he is a super good guy and that he is a flake and has no memory and is generally inconsiderate to the women in his life....but again super nice guy but has a hard time with the ladies....and because of his actions or lack thereof his relationships hit the skidder in 1-2 years

I guess my question is do you see the pattern repeating itself....she seems to be a nice person......and do you think this could be a rebound relationship as up until new years he was still bitching about his ex.....oh and apparently he always remains friends with his ex's (not sure if the psycho counts—?)

He appears to be very selfish and has no regard to the feelings to the women in his life.....but of course he is a nice guy—?

Please give me your thoughts

i think he still hasn't quite grown up yet or matured if u will.

what IS it with cancer boys and their moms?! i am all for a man who is close to and loves his mom (i.e. my best friend and his mom are super close but he doesn't cling to her by any means) but i think it's safe to say that most women do not want a mama's boy. i sure as hell don't! it's kinda weird, icky, and borderline freudian to compete with my man's mother for his affections. i have a son myself and i don't want him to be that clingy to me. i want him to grow up to be an independent, self-sufficient, man and awesome lover! i'm just there to teach him properly! i sorta lucked out with my first boyfriend and he was a cancer. he was so wrong for me in the end but his mom would not allow him to cling to her. i knew that if he could he would but she was more like me in that respect. she was very independent and had her own things going on and encouraged him to do his. i probably loved his mom more than him come to think of it. she was that damn cool.

I agree....

The one thing I see as a problem is she already gave it up on the first night.......hard to build a relationship from the bedroom outwards.....

Just what I have read......


What say you Krobe—??

I give it up on the first night 🙂

I really don't believe a woman who gives it up the first night doesn't get her man. I think it giving it up on the first night is just part of relationship. A man can move in with you and LIVE with you and even give up other "women" for you, why? Because it is only temporarily. He may not have long term permentant relationship in his mind . He may be thinking short term right now. He is well aware when he is really to retreat or walk away for something better, he has that option. This man already has a poor history with women, so he may be like what the hell, it is not going to work out anyways.

If he is HIGHLY attracted to this woman and her sex, mentality, good communication etc. giving it up on the first night doesn't mean anything. Matter of fact, I know plenty of couples where the woman gave it up on the first night who stayed together for years and they are still together. He might really like her, maybe not love but he may be there with her and with the living arrangements because their could be "possibility." Men live in the moment, they don't think long term, future, forever like women want to believe. This woman may be convenient for him right now so he has to go with the flow.

Don't think or believe that women who give it up on the first night don't keep a man. Not true. It is going to happen anyway whether it is the first night or the 5th date. This man may not want a high maintenance woman with class. He may feel comfortable with a lower self esteem, love maintenance type of woman. That might be what he can afford right now.

That inconsiderate bastard cancer sounds like many a typical cancers as a matter of fact.
The funny part is they are still "that nice guy"

When I started getting to know my cancer, he had this pesky (gf/ex/on n off gal, whatev)
that would call me every now and again.. and the thing I could never understand is that
she would always refer to him as a "very NICE person" "GOOD man" —

In my head I would think.. "Well how the hell does that work if he supposedly cheats on you?"
Their situation was never absolutely clear to me.

However, by HIS OWN ADMISSION he had never been a good partner to any of his gf's.
He never took anyone really seriously
(even though he would say that he still had feelings for his then gf)
and he also admitted to leading girls on, or wooing them to get what he wanted.
Wow, that really sounds f'ed up...

I don't think I want to call any of this "immaturity"
It may be simpler, maybe it's just about finding that right person...?

Call me young and naive but I actually got together with this above cancer.
After a bumpy first months... he called himself a "changed man"
He started doing all those things he so adamantly refused to do in the beginning
... peacefully 🙂
You can't blame me for my insecurity! Look at his track record! LoL

We were together three yrs after that. He was committed as I think all
cancers are when they 'find' their mate.

He was my first and well three years with 1 (one) (uno) (un) mate..
one gets curious 😛 bored.. and talk about marriage, home, and kids
starts coming up.. hmmm He also went psycho after the breakup..
and to this day can't let go. It breaks my heart really.

But that's a whole other story.

As far as giving it up on the first night goes, I have no personal experience as to
whether it can cost you a meaningful relationship or not
BUT but but
most of the time it does for my friends or the people I know have done it.
I suppose it's not a guaranteed deal breaker but it reallllllllly cannot help :/

I've heard wayyyy too many womanizers say that if they found a girl who did not
give it up on the first night, they would actually have a gf.

Any of the above is well open to interpretation. The who's the why's and the whens.

If the guy makes his one nighter an official gf then I guess it didn't affect the
relationship any further than that first night... so that's that.

So in conclusion.. my answer is.. YES the pattern absolutely repeats itself.

And if he hasn't left any of his bad habits (such as being on a DATING SITE!!)
then it doesn't look too good for this one either.