still on the crab.... (Page 2)

Three years?! As much as I don't want to believe you don't like what happening...I'm starting to question that because there is no way (from what you've written about your strength) that you would allow someone to have you front and center at the horse and pony show for that long. Why do you feel you have to WAIT for someone "to come around" when there is a possibility they won't? What is the benefit of that? How is that making you a better person? How is that giving you what you need?

I don't think it's him being unfair to you, I think it's you being unfair to yourself.

Cancerguy..I'm not sure I understand...

Touche'....like I said I've never been in this position...its a first..I mentally etched a times up date in my head and here it is...I feel I've waited long enough, too long and its why I haven't seen him...loving him still but loving me too

About having to wait, never felt I had to...but more so wanted to...we agreed in the beginning to throughly get to know eachother and we did for almost a year before we took to the next level, we talked about people rushing into relationships and the majority not lasting...it started off 100% on the right foot..until I realized I was in love...and turned on the pressure...I don't do casual sex and don't participate in unless in a commited relationship..my probing & his shelling and here I am in the first stages of walking away...I don't want to but know I have to...for me

Aww at cancerguy...I like what you said on the other thread about love finding a way...its my frame of mind at the moment...its time to make my exit...I was very patient,I could walk away knowing I loved & I lost but I gave it my all and I walk away plenty wounded with no regrets and many lessons learned. Who knew this scorp girl had such patience?! I'm glad it was excercised while waiting for love =) I wore my heart on my sleeve and there's nothing more I can do...but make my exit because its time and if he is truly the one for me he will be mine....one day! Just the optimism of a scorp girl in love...😢

Yeah...I had that same optimism especially when my douchebag Cancer ex told me he still wanted to marry me after we broke up. Oh...yeah...that makes a girl feel really special after you fucked my friend. Thanks for that! The nerve! LOL!

I REALLY wish you the best! I'd rather be in YOUR position of waiting for commitment than be in a committed relationship with what I went through at the tail end. It was good too throughout...REALLY good, but it's crazy how easily someone's mind can be changed out of loneliness. :/

I could go on for days about the stories of how she "worked him" while I was away on business, but this is YOUR thread and I won't debo it! LOL! 😉

@sanrika...no worries! I'll share =)I must say that is such poor judgement on the scorps behalf...with friends like that, who needs enemies...eww! A woman & your best riend to boottriple shame on her...what goes around comes around...I strongly believe in karma..do unto others as you would have them don't unto you...paybacks a mutha and they're both in store for it too...there's satisfaction in just knowing that....I'm sorry for your hurt...let go of the resentment..them two aren't worth it...let the tw peas on the pod rot! I'm glad you found you a strong lion....how's his roar?!?! A lil scorp humor there...payback!!! Hahahaha

Omg excuse all the typos....my keyboard has a mind of its own!

My crab strikes again!!.....He's on the prowl...I take it they don't like to be ignored...😢

Lmao....just what I needed! Some afternoon humor!

Posted by wineaux

Posted by Sarinka_Moon
@PR: that's called a, "Cancer Grudge" and it is pretty intense! LOL! I don't know what you said, but he took it personally and he's actually trying to "teach you a lesson" about talking to him sideways. When you stop calling, he will call you. I put MONEY on that, but the more you push for him to "communicate" the more he will detach. If Cancers are thinking things through, let us think. If we don't want to talk, leave us alone. We'll come around when WE are ready, not when it's convenient for anyone else. Period! Just being honest. Hope it helps! 🙂

click to expand

LOL ... I don't understand what that means!!!—

@pr...I didn't either?!!

Posted by missscorp
@pr...I didn't either?!!

I dont get the "winner winner chicken dinner" part !!

Its a saying....google it 🙂

@Scorp, too much to share, but thanks for the invitation! 🙂 And thanks for the sympathy, but I'm a big girl. 😉 Everything happens for a reason because now I have a GOOD LOYAL M.A.N. on my team who protects me and would never think of hurting me that way. I'm more thankful for my ex cheating on me than resentful for what happened because I would not have met my Puuuurfect Roaring Lion. 🙂 I just wish it would have happened a year into our relationship instead of 10...a lot of time spent just to have an outcome of that nature you know. My time is valuable damn it LOL!!!

@wineaux: Pass the hot sauce 😉 AHAHAHA!!!

And for the record, that's NOT the first time I had a scorp chick in my face being all "friendly" then revealing her true fake and backstabbing intentions. It happened twice more...over men...and guess which SIGN the guys were?! :/

The THIRD time it happened, this chick (who was SUPPOSED to be my friend *surprise surprise* :/) took it upon herself to spread RUMORS about me because she wanted to steer this cancer I was seeing away from me. Mind you, we were FRIENDS and I don't use that term lightly; Sleep overs, partying, traveling together, all that. Not just some random chick I knew in passing.

Now, I don't take mudslinging lightly on my pristine reputation! You can say you don't like me, call me ugly, call me fat or whatever behind my back all day long, but spreading vicious RUMORS/ LIES/ ETC damaging my character that I worked SO HARD on...that's a MAAAAAAAAAAAAAJOR ass kicking! A 3am visit to her doorstep was NECESSARY! LOL! Her beat down wasn't about her wanting to get with the guy who was interested in me (even though later I heard that's what she made it out to be) because I don't fight over men. I'm too beautiful for that LOL!!! BUT the day you call me a slut or a whore or I let guys run through me like a needle and thread #ASSWHOOPING!!! She shouldn't have run her mouth trying to make me look like a slut when SHE was the one running around fuckin' all of Los Angeles!

After that, I made a FIRM promise to myself NEVER to be caught off guard again by ANYONE (specifically Scorpio WOMEN) and that promise has kept me from beating someone's ass...AGAIN! LOL!!!

Like MisScorp said...when you have friends like that, who needs enemies! #TRUTH

@Sanrika...they say keep your friends close but your enemies closer..how would that saying pertain to your scenarios?!wow...the luck...karma...I strongly believe in what comes around goes around and sounds like she deserved it...I have many,many aquaintances...I make friends everywhere I go...but can honestly say I have a handful of "true kick a $ $ " friends whom I can trust...I don't allow many in my circle..these girlies earned it & have been friends with them since grade school...with all the stories I hear I'm thankful none of my true friends have turned on me*knockin'on woodgrain✨ my punishment to the people who have wronged me is to simply cut them out of my life as if they never existed...period. My cancer hasn't rubbed me the wrong way quite the contrary..its his lag in the situation..that has inspired me to get ta walkin...he literally blew up my phone today....it seems as if he being challenged with this new behavior? And so the tables turn...and not because I wanted them to but more so he left me with no other choice...😢I've heard about them Los Angeles girls but damn!!sounds like you've found yourself a winner & sounds like it was about time too!...😉

Well scorp, I was in a new city, no friends, 2,000+ miles from my REAL friends and she "seemed" like a cool person like most scorps start off as. She kept her "coolness" for almost FIVE years!!! She should win a fuckin' award LOL! But I never judged her though people SHE thought were HER friends talked shit about her behind her back because she was such a starfucker (name the celebrity and she probably screwed them and I'm NOT joking :/). When she would cry and boo hoo about being played by men, I would be there for her. I kept her secrets, was her alibi and when she took me to her hometown into her mom's house and cried when she saw her mother's belongings packed away (her mom passed) *I* dried her tears and gave her hugs. Shame on her, but it is what it is. But I tell you this much...it will NEVER, EVER happen again! EVER! I put that on EVERYTHING! Third times a charm LOL!!!

Now back to YOU (LOL)! Your cancer will call just as he's been and yes, the tables have turned. If you DO decide to answer his call, tell him STRAIGHT UP NO CHASER what you want. If he stutters, hesitates, coughs, sighs, sneezes or gives you any response OTHER than what you want, HANG UP and leave it at that. Life is too short for the flim flam.

@Sanrika..just goes to show you..you never know...5yrs and you were there for her in her deepest hour...😢 sounds like she didn't deserve to have your friendship in the first place,intuitively knew it and sbbotaged it because she did...good friends are hard to find...I've been lucky...so far!✨knocks on wood again✨its hard because he has a bday coming up soon...that will be the day I DON'T hear from him just to see if I contact him on his special day...so the crab way...I have a love/frustrate relationship with him as of late even in my silence....

I will say that a little voice in the back of my head ALWAYS would tell me to watch myself. I should have listened. Drat! But you live, learn and kick some ass LOL!!!

*moving right along*

Whatever it is you are looking for I hope you find it. I just hope you find it with someone who is about you and not about the chase. You're running on "E" girlfriend!

Posted by luckystar
Sarinka, i love you. What does your chart look like?

"Cancer men can be douchebags! Some of them get in your head and heart just to see if they can shake you up. That's a bunch of bullbutter! You're better off without him and finding someone else. And I usually giggle at Scorpios pain, but this time around I won't because I KNOW how butterty those crab bastards can be! I hope someone comes along and sweeps you off your broom...err feet (just a little Scorpio jab for ya' LOL) Good luck! Seriously! "---this is so right.

"My ex crab had an Aries rising and a Cancer moon and cheated on me WITH a Scorpio who was SUPPOSEDLY my friend! After 10 years?! C'mon son! LOL!"---okay thats AWFUL. 10 years? did you guys live together? what happened to your "friend"?

WTF...

Where is my reading ?? 🙂

Sanrika.....I ran outta gas! Lmao. =)

Change your phone number...The end

I've had my number for yrs....I should not have to change it because he cannot respect my request....should things not change and he continues I may contemplate...sigh*

Sometimes you have to pull yourself out of your comfort zone and do what's best for you, if he's not respecting your wishes and you want to remain in no contact then you'll either have to block his phone number or change your phone number, It's more so about your intentions. If you intend on breaking silence at some point then go ahead and speak with him now, no need to continue on this silent treatment trip of no contact if all you're going to do is give in at some point. I'm sure he doesn't want anything for the exception of reassuring himself you're still thinking about him, he'll revert back to his comfort level once he realizes you still love him and hopeful.

I think I sound like an asshole in that last comment...Sorry

I know this has to be hard for you misscorp....

Him contacting you will only make being in no contact extremely hard for you so maybe you should consider speaking to him, it's not as if he's a jerk and he mistreats you verbally, I can understand if he was manipulative and a straight up jerk with you but from what I understand he's just not on the same page romantically although a hard space to be in, it doesn't mean you have to cut him completely out of your life.

As long as you know he can't talk you back into the status quo you once had with him then it should be okay to speak with him but if you remain in no contact and he's calling it'll only serve to keep you emotionally stuck.

No worries Tiki..I get where your coming from..believe me! I wish I could just speak to him on friendly terms...I can't....my heart gets all caught up & tangled..I'm will not make excuses for this man, no he's not ready to commit & I'm tired of waiting...but really if you only knew how long it took us to get to know each...although he's gorgeous he has a lot of insecurities that go undetected but I get it..that's neither here nor there the fact is I can't do it anymore..and it sucks because in this scorps heart of hearts its him...my heart don't lie...I'm walking cause I have to, not because I want to...😢 I so get where your coming from...its just different in my scenario....because "its me"...😢

I understand...You need time, the wounds are fresh and raw and it's better that you be honest and true to yourself rather than ignore it just for the sake of having him (no matter how little or how much) in your life.

Sending you positive energy....It's a corny cliche but this too shall pass...Keep posting on the board which can be very therapeutic, therapy or group therapy can also help you recognize what it was that was there as a warning but over looked and do something positive with your time, something that's fun, that will keep your spirits up...can't be sad all the damn time LOL

"...no need to continue on this silent treatment trip of no contact if all you're going to do is give in at some point." Co-sign!

So far so good! I'm not much for games and so far,so good! Of course my intention is not to ignore him for a period tom time to only end up back where I've allowed myself to be! I have every intention of following through with the decision its took me so long to get to...I've played fair, he took short-cuts so I forfeit....I'm starting to get angry even..and I'd rather be angry than hurt cause I tend to hold grudges and anger is just what I need right about now

As water signs, hurt still leaves room for us making excuses for the other's behavior even when you know there is no viable excuse for it. GET ANGRY! Accept it! Force it! Love it! When you get angry, and tell yourself it's okay to be angry, you will definitely be at peace with your decision and, hell, may even do something vicious to PURPOSELY make sure he gets the damn point and would never dare contact you again.
Then.....zen......

🙂

@Tiki..thx for the energy =)fathom..aww thx...the angry support system rocks!!

Cancer man leaving me txt meassages fishing around for his bday...I know.he's just looking for the assurance of me still being there...while he's looking for the safe....I'm stayin safe by staying away...this will be the first year I won't o out of my way to acknowledge or make his bday something special...😢

Stay strong missscorp.....

Thx tiki

So I get a txt from him this afternoon...he wants to know when he gets his bday present! Seriously?! I know he's looking for some type of reaction from me...he knows I'm having a hard time with the whole situation..I wish I could read his mind sometimes to find out what his reasons are...for now I have "my reasons" and those are all I need...I let this man get to me on a whole other level...

he's just waiting it out because he doesn't think you're serious. it's do or die time

You don't have any boundaries and that's how he got to you...Look at you now, you have no boundaries now because you still allow him the privilege to contact you, he basically still has access to you and that means you are fair play.

@shellshocker...its how I'm feeling too right now...do or die time...the thing that throws me totally off is he's really not one for games...so I'm totally baffled, I don't understand his ultimate motive...I'm not getting the point of his contact so I'm left to believe that's all it is....a game I'm not participating in anymore but determined to win

i really don't know why you're so confused?

you say leave me alone... (i'm sure you've said this to him many, many times)

he's like... 'whatever, why should i? i don't respect you enough to commit to you... so why would i respect you enough to stop contacting you?'

you want a commitment... he says no. you want him to stop contacting you... he says no.

he owns you

Posted by shellshocker
i really don't know why you're so confused?

you say leave me alone... (i'm sure you've said this to him many, many times)

he's like... 'whatever, why should i? i don't respect you enough to commit to you... so why would i respect you enough to stop contacting you?'

you want a commitment... he says no. you want him to stop contacting you... he says no.

he owns you

Gosh I like you....You just make so much damn sense lol

+1

@Tiki...which means ultimately I'm going to have to change my number or it just continues..pisses me off that I have to go to that extreme...Your right about the boundaries...and as long as I hear from him its never goin to be over for me...I need the outta sight outta mind type thing

What's that saying....I do what I want when I want how I want....You don't control me I control you

F that shellshocker!! That fkr don't own me...dammmmit! I soooooo needed that! I like this place!

Posted by missscorp
@Tiki...which means ultimately I'm going to have to change my number or it just continues..pisses me off that I have to go to that extreme...Your right about the boundaries...and as long as I hear from him its never goin to be over for me...I need the outta sight outta mind type thing

Or take text messaging of your phone for a little while...Drastic but FIRST before you do that, try this...

once when I decided to go no contact, I tried something and maybe it'll work for you too....I bounced the text message back (honestly I can't remember exactly what I said) I believed it said something along the lines of the contact number xxx-xx-xxxx you are attempting to text is no a longer valid...I didn't say anything else than that and I made sure it sounded official, voila no more text messages, no more calls (yep he was a lazy one lol) doesn't mean he can't call you but I doubt if he resorts to calling, if he does then yes change your phone number or talk to him.

meant to say take messaging off your phone

@Tiki...lmao...that's my mantra...wthell...that crab has me all twisted....and I know its because I NEVER let my guard down & I did with him & its pissing me off...he was able to et to me....on a whole other level...he makes me feel like the silly girl I've given advice to...uugh! I hate him! I feel so out of control when I'm not in control..Making my way back to the drivers seat where I belong...BUT S L O W L Y!!!!!

@Tiki....I likey!!! Love that idea! Its the only response he gets from his next txt..=)

I see so many women allow men to do this whole getting close dance BEFORE making things official/getting an official commitment which can only mean disaster for the woman b/c many times if a man isn't fully invested he figures he can fuck with your head and move on after the deed is done b/c he's not fully committed and he's right, he doesn't owe you anything but you owe it to yourself to not be in something with someone unless it feels right for you, of course he could commit and still turn out to be a noncommittal assclown but for me my standard is you can't get in unless you've done the work properly to get there with me which includes an exclusive commitment, worked for me..Mine had to earn it

Also don't beat yourself up for allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you can't build a fort knox fortress around yourself to ward off hurt, trust that you did what was best for you at the time with someone who appeared to be someone you could trust on an emotional level, I'm not sure if commitment and/or if what you wanted was ever discussed but maybe he felt like you just going along all willy nilly without setting any real boundaries and standards basically not using any particular value system well maybe he thought you were okay with things being casual.

Just a suggestion but maybe you should go back and reflect on what was it about your behavior and attitude that said I'm okay with doing things your way and being casual..What was it you could have said that would have helped him understand that him being that close to you meant that exclusivity is on the table and reflect on what gestures/attitude you gave or didn't give to him that said you wanted or didn't want a casual relationship.