tired of cancer gf of 1 year ldr

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sasukexx18
@sasukexx18
10 Years

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We have been together for a year , it was all great , she was really clingy and would do anything to text me (doesnt have phone ,strict parents ) and i really loved the attention and interest , gave her all of my love and attention too

I am a taurus male

The last few months , shes been acting distant and not as much interested in me as she used to and i really cant figure out why , i mean i never lost interest in her ..
She wants to get married we have all out future life discussed etc

Now she would text for 2 days then disappear for 1 day , it makes me mad and feel really un imp to her , i even got angry but she is such a princess doesnt like me getting angry at her, so i stopped showing her im angry ... When i ask y she didnt msg she would say i was with my dad all day couldnt msg .... I know its a lie no one is that busy she would never admit but would still apologize for not texting , when i confront her about why shes been actin distant she would say there isnt any prob , i havent been able to sleep well cause i cant figure out why she is doing this , i really love thid girl ...

She have never done this before , she always mafe time for me , i feel like m not a priority in her lu
Iife anymore

why cant she just be straight forward and tell me whats wrong , she says she trusts me 100% then why is she trying to protect herself from me ?

Because of this m mentally exhausted , i have never felt this tired my whole life ...

And because of this when the 4th day she texts me shed be like i lovee u alooooottt missed u sooo much but i just dont feel it anymore after being ignored, i dont feel like talking to her and i feel like i dont want to talk to her if shes just ignoring me ...

whenever i.question her things start to go downhill

Shes hasnt texted today , i cant text her until she does .. its 6 pm now i know she wont come today , she has stopped saying good mornings to me too now ...

Because if this i didnt text her i love u and she replied

Her = u didnt say u love me for 2 days :/

I didnt because she has exhausted me but i didnt let her know that

Please tell me what should i tell her to regain her interest and clingyness

She will come tomorrow , i will say i hope you are happy after ignoring me , u did that so i dont want to talk to you ... Is this right ? Help please

What to do ? How should i be texting her the next few weeks so she opens up? Angerily ? Do i need to send more affection ?

Right
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Nyxx
@phEnyxBull876
11 YearsTaurus

Comments: 0 · Posts: 477 · Topics: 17
I know how you feel, I go thru this with my cancer guy. The "high" wore off abt a year of us being together too, and he started going into himself more often. But he also had mom being sick problems, and cancers are insanely close to their mom. So when that, or work stuff, or friend stuff, or life I general, isn't going well, they retreat. It has nothing to do with you...but as a Taurus, we take it personal. And honestly there's no quick way to get past that except for patience and time. If you stick thru it with them, no matter how frustrated you get, they will remember that.

BUT...its never going to be AS lovey as it was before. They are not as affectionate as Tauruses in general. They do it in the chasing/honeymoon phase, but once that's over, you have to initiate. And tell them what you want, need. They need to hear you verbalize your desire for them, and your needs.

EXCEPT for when they hurt you. That is where you need to be mindful of how you approach them. And as a Taurus, when we are IN the hurt, its never the best time. We lash out, we become distant, we think we're giving too much, so we shut down. And they feel that. Somehow if you can find a way to rise above that...wait until you get to your rational place, and then express your feelings to them, they will be so much more receptive.

On the other hand...your age and situation and experience seem to be huge factors in this as well. First love sucks...I couldn't imagine having my first love be a cancer. Idk how I'd ever love again (bad joke). But in short, Taurus needs to swallow their pride more often than not for Cancer to show up. Just the nature of the relationship. And only YOU can decide what you can and can't, or are willing to, handle. Love isn't an excuse to feel like shit or shit on someone else.
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sasukexx18
@sasukexx18
10 Years

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Posted by counter9
Posted by sasukexx18
I feel dumb as fuk when i feel like i gave her too much .. Ugh



Yeah like this. She is an ex, but even when we weren't, she made me feel like this. You gonna leave her? Not sure these girls are worth the struggle. ...
click to expand




I dont want to leave her but she is draining me soo much ... Ill take my time deciding , dont want to regret later on
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MoonArtist
@MoonArtist
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
R>
Posted by sasukexx18
She says no one loves and she should just kill herself .. she says that stuff to herself



and this:

Posted by sasukexx18
Oh yeah when ill say i want to break up she'll go batshit crazy on me saying i should just die no one loves me etc lol hahha its a bit funny :p
click to expand




These are warning signs, and it has nothing to do with being a Cancer. That's abusive behavior to threaten her own life as a manipulative tool to keep you dating her. So is telling you that no one loves you. I've been through that with my very controlling Taurus ex husband. You are most certainly loved by others (family, friends, etc) and you can certainly find another gf in life. What she does or doesn't do with her own life is on her own shoulders.

Now, to the other things you posted, why do you want her to be so clingy and giving you attention all the time? Is this to boost your own ego? If so, you're not in the relationship for healthy reasons, either. You're both extremely young, and no offense by saying that. You both have a lot to learn about love, relationships, communication, yourselves, others.

From a healthy Cancer woman perspective, we crabettes don't stop giving love and affection if we're in deep and committed. We do take breaks, frequent little ones, because it's a little exhausting having emotions on non-stop, and it gives us a chance to recharge and sort our emotions out, make analytical sense of them. Yes, for all our seeming emotionalism, we are also very logical at heart....shocking, but true.

Cancers are also very intuitive, so if there's an ulterior motive to why someone is interacting with us, we'll sniff it out at some point. We analyze everything a person says and does, even things they don't say, and we store that info away to be cataloged and filed. If she senses that you're in the relationship for your own ego, then she'll pull back and go distant. That's just an "if".

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sasukexx18
@sasukexx18
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 83 · Topics: 4
Im not in the relationship for my own ego , and she said no one loves her to herself and not me , she hasnt abused me but yes she tries to manupilate me to keep me from leaving ,

i just feel she has lost interest in me and i dont feel imp to her , she would chat with me for hoursss and now after 20 mins she leaves saying somethings come up.and im just having a hard time beliving her , thanks for replying
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sasukexx18
@sasukexx18
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 83 · Topics: 4
Posted by Rachelannthepisces
Sounds very similar to a situation I had with my Cancer man. In love with me then slowly started to distance himself after we had been together for a little bit. Seeing other people with the same exact experiences actually is making me consider not going back to a cancer man. Their attitudes are ridiculous.



Yeah , i am very active athletic guy and i have never in my whole life felt this exhausted mentally
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StarChild63
@StarChild63
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1190 · Topics: 29
You need to talk to her straight up. She obviously liked you enough to show you that enfamous cancer live. I say the communication is off and she sounds like she needs reassurance. Does she know you feel like this? She might even be in love with you. Sometimes when they go from chatty to quiet and less available they are trying to figure things out about what they want to do with you and analyzing if having a future with you is a good thing and they are like moo artist said recharging their emotional batteries. Cancers are bitches when they don't have reassurance and they like yiu. My cancer is usually nice to everyone in general but mean to the guy she really loves but can't get with. But I could use some answers too
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StarChild63
@StarChild63
11 Years1,000+ Posts

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I just spoke to my cancer friend hypothetically and asked why she would back off and she made a lot of good points I never really thought about. One that could help your situation is that she said when she's in love with a man and starts talking less and reacting less it's because she doesn't feel safe to open up and doesn't know if what she says will start an argument or another falling out so she just backs up till both people can get their emotions in check. She also said that if she sees that someone doesn't value her and cherish her like she should be eventually she will start to realize it won't work and will start backing
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StarChild63
@StarChild63
11 Years1,000+ Posts

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Furious for what? Calm down. Didn't you just say she foesnt know you feel this way? Why snap? If this is how emotionally reactive you are then I see why she crawls away. How do you think someone is supposed to act when they don't know what you're feeling and communication has been fucked up? Sometimes when you think people are playing games you don't really see that they aren't playing games with you but they're just meeting you where your at or mirroring you. Sometimes we get caught up in feelings and don't realize how we play a big part in which way the relationship goes. This is a lesson I had to learn a few years back.