confusedleoo
@confusedleoo
14 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 75 · Topics: 11
Want my cancer man back. Anyhow. Part 3!!!
Ah yes, the ole "i don't deserve your love, u can do better card"... Anyone know how to deflect.this without making her look like she's begging cus apparently she's begged him to stay before.
Idk, my opinion would b to let him feel like a free man. He said it himself in the letter,.he misses u. Idk why females in general need to feel groveled over,.maybe that's just not his style .... Maybe he's not the verbal type yet you feel you need verbal validation... Just a guess here..
Idk, my opinion would b to let him feel like a free man. He said it himself in the letter,.he misses u. Idk why females in general need to feel groveled over,.maybe that's just not his style .... Maybe he's not the verbal type yet you feel you need verbal validation... Just a guess here..
Move on.... If he misses you he will come back.. if not then hey he's giving you a chance to find someone who is willing and able to give u.the sort if love you want/need/deserve....
Posted by confusedleoo
"I know Ive said this many times, and I'll say it again. I am undeserving of your love. You are a beautiful, vibrant, charming girl. I may have said so many things I would never mean. Sorry is too small a word for my follies. Take care. You have a good life ahead."
What do I do?
Stop trying to read between the lines. Listen to him...
So he doesn't want to come back, and he just feels sorry for what he did. And thus, he wrote a very tear filled hand written three page long letter, about how sorry he was, how he had no idea he could be so weak in life, and how he grieves my absence every single day. I'm not reading between anything here. I am simply going to ask him tomorrow, what he wants. That is all. I'm not asking him to return. I will be straight forward with him, honest about my feelings, not emotional, just honest. It's his decision. I am very much prepared to hear he doesn't want to return from him.
You are looking for someone to confirm your hope that it may work out. Your not going to get that here. You are hoping, hoping, hoping...
If someone tells you they are "unworthy of your love"... the problem lies within them.. not you.
He wrote a three-paged, emotion driven letter that nowhere says, "I want you back. I want another chance. I want to make it up to you."
That letter does NOT say that. It is a goodby letter, trying to explain that it is very painful for him to break up with you, but it still must be done.
He said, "take care. You have a good life ahead." But you are STILL going to ask him... "what he wants?" *smh*
Keep your dignity. Why does he have to s-p-e-l-l it out? If you push him to repeat himself.. he may have to be mean to get his point across. Do you want him to be mean to you? I hate when people have to turn love into hate. They cant let go without ruining the memories of a union that is just... over.
If someone tells you they are "unworthy of your love"... the problem lies within them.. not you.
He wrote a three-paged, emotion driven letter that nowhere says, "I want you back. I want another chance. I want to make it up to you."
That letter does NOT say that. It is a goodby letter, trying to explain that it is very painful for him to break up with you, but it still must be done.
He said, "take care. You have a good life ahead." But you are STILL going to ask him... "what he wants?" *smh*
Keep your dignity. Why does he have to s-p-e-l-l it out? If you push him to repeat himself.. he may have to be mean to get his point across. Do you want him to be mean to you? I hate when people have to turn love into hate. They cant let go without ruining the memories of a union that is just... over.
I know you guys are right. In my heart I do, but my heart also has a tiny shred of hope. He texted last night asking if I liked what he sent me with the letter, and that he'll call tonight. He couldn't be wanting to just talk about what happened on the phone and say goodbye, would he? I want to believe it is over, I really do. Maybe I am ruining my memories here, but for my closure I need to hear it from him. I don't want to keep wondering. I guess we women are stupid. But I'm not a Cancer. The only way for me to get over this would be if my only memory of the relationship is a nasty breakup. I'll never get over this with these stupid letters and memories. Yes, I want to hate him. Because if it is over, I don't really care about any memories. I don't want to live in a past which is gone hanging onto his letter. These memories will matter to me if we would be together. I want to hate him, and move on to someone who will make my ex look like a horrid phase of my life.
Maybe all I have been thinking about is me. I don't want to make things difficult for him. Should I text him I'm busy or smthn and we can't talk tonight?
ThankYou Moonbunny for giving me that benefit of doubt. I am not looking to get him back. In my head I feel he wants to come back, I want to know from him that he doesn't. I don't want to spend months wondering and feeling hurt. I feel very calm, composed and stronger, and I know I won't be breaking down in front of him. I did cry for him to come back when he said he wants to go, but I did not cry when he left. I put up a happy face on the last day and told him I will be absolutely fine without him and he doesn't need to worry about me and didn't look back. I won't look back even now, I am just wanting to know what is in his heart really. He loved me alot, so if he really thinks there's no coming back, I will accept it. I have returned to my old social life, and this time I'll be stronger because my hope will be dead. He will call in another ten minutes, I'm prepared to hear it is over. And give him his closure, and get mine too.
We spoke. He said he went through hell every single day without me. Said he drank alone the night after he broke up with me. He wants to come back. Said he can't stay without me. I told him I'm terrified that he will flip again and I am not doing anything. "He said I understand everything, and I will do whatever it takes to bring you back, don't do anything and step back. I realized your value after you left. The purpose of the letter and the call is that I missed you, and I want to make things right." 🙂 🙂 🙂
i wish the cancerian man i met recently wanted to get back with me so much 😢 Im still sad days later..
ok... so I wanted to test my "spidey" senses and went Scorpio on you. I usually could not be bothered but I don't like when people paint out a "cinderella & Prince Charming" scenario in a long distance relationship...
I skimmed your past posts mostly but these ones really jumped out at me...
Posted by confusedleoo....
"The same night he told me had something to confess. After alot of thought he told me that his previous relationship was a farce. It had been going online for years, and on the phone. He had never ever met the girl. And they barely ever spoke."
"He used to sleep around alot when single, and I caught him flirting with a woman online once while he was on the phone with me while reassuring me on the phone while flirting with her"
"He had fabricated alot of lies in our year together alot of them unnecessary connected to his relationship. PLus I caught him lying/flirting on a website with women while talking to me (there;s another thread with this story). I am lost. He's a venus in gemini, is that why he's such a mess?"
"So I called him and asked him what's going on. After alot of dilly dallying he says, he's feeling restricted, and he doesn't wanna be in a relationship. He said he's confused, and I'm way too understanding, which makes things even more difficult."
These are all your posts on this Cancer guy.
Common themes.
He's a liar
All relationships online/long distance/fake
He sleeps around alot and with hookers in real life
He says you are far to "understanding"
Keep your dignity. stop getting played...
I skimmed your past posts mostly but these ones really jumped out at me...
Posted by confusedleoo....
"The same night he told me had something to confess. After alot of thought he told me that his previous relationship was a farce. It had been going online for years, and on the phone. He had never ever met the girl. And they barely ever spoke."
"He used to sleep around alot when single, and I caught him flirting with a woman online once while he was on the phone with me while reassuring me on the phone while flirting with her"
"He had fabricated alot of lies in our year together alot of them unnecessary connected to his relationship. PLus I caught him lying/flirting on a website with women while talking to me (there;s another thread with this story). I am lost. He's a venus in gemini, is that why he's such a mess?"
"So I called him and asked him what's going on. After alot of dilly dallying he says, he's feeling restricted, and he doesn't wanna be in a relationship. He said he's confused, and I'm way too understanding, which makes things even more difficult."
These are all your posts on this Cancer guy.
Common themes.
He's a liar
All relationships online/long distance/fake
He sleeps around alot and with hookers in real life
He says you are far to "understanding"
Keep your dignity. stop getting played...
It took me a whole week to get out of my bed after the breakup. Another one week to laugh/smile. I know he won't do what he did ever again, but he didn't seem sure yesterday. Like he was still figuring things out. He said he wanted to come back, but he also said we have to take things very slow, that he didn't trust himself and why he did the things he did. Said he was lost and hopeless without me. He said it was awful what he did with me and he had no idea why he was so dysfunctional. I told him it wasn't his fault, and I should have been more understanding. He kept saying it was he who was wrong.
See the more I've been with him the more I have seen, he's a good guy. I asked around some friends who work in his company, and everyone knew about me. He never so much as flirted or talked to other girls at work. He used to lie to me and hide alot of his past secrets when we started going out because he was ashamed of his past. But last four months all that had stopped. We were fighting alot, but more because of the lies of the preceding eight months. He's not a player. He's not a jerk. He's very confused and lost in life. And as much as I want to hold his all along the way, I am terrified that all this confusion will bring me down with him like it always does. He just follows his feelings. And when he feels any different he doesn't stay with me because he should. He goes back on his words, and lets his moodiness get the better of him. I love him alot and would wish to spend my life with him. But I need stability. He said he still wanted to marry me last night, but marriage is something he and I had talked about for months and planned all the way down to wedding dresses and venue but the fights didn't stop him from leaving me. Two weeks ago when I begged him to stay, he said he never ever wanted to talk to me again and wanted me gone from his life. He totally kicked me out. I'm lost as well. He said it was hell without me. He drank alone few nights, and woke up in his own puke. Said he went home for four days hoping it'd change things but it was hell. He missed me every second and his family was wondering what was going on. He sounded so low and broken that somewhere it broke me inside. I love him so much but I'm scared now 😢
See the more I've been with him the more I have seen, he's a good guy. I asked around some friends who work in his company, and everyone knew about me. He never so much as flirted or talked to other girls at work. He used to lie to me and hide alot of his past secrets when we started going out because he was ashamed of his past. But last four months all that had stopped. We were fighting alot, but more because of the lies of the preceding eight months. He's not a player. He's not a jerk. He's very confused and lost in life. And as much as I want to hold his all along the way, I am terrified that all this confusion will bring me down with him like it always does. He just follows his feelings. And when he feels any different he doesn't stay with me because he should. He goes back on his words, and lets his moodiness get the better of him. I love him alot and would wish to spend my life with him. But I need stability. He said he still wanted to marry me last night, but marriage is something he and I had talked about for months and planned all the way down to wedding dresses and venue but the fights didn't stop him from leaving me. Two weeks ago when I begged him to stay, he said he never ever wanted to talk to me again and wanted me gone from his life. He totally kicked me out. I'm lost as well. He said it was hell without me. He drank alone few nights, and woke up in his own puke. Said he went home for four days hoping it'd change things but it was hell. He missed me every second and his family was wondering what was going on. He sounded so low and broken that somewhere it broke me inside. I love him so much but I'm scared now 😢
Posted by shellshocker
ok... so I wanted to test my "spidey" senses and went Scorpio on you. I usually could not be bothered but I don't like when people paint out a "cinderella & Prince Charming" scenario in a long distance relationship...
I skimmed your past posts mostly but these ones really jumped out at me...
Posted by confusedleoo....
"The same night he told me had something to confess. After alot of thought he told me that his previous relationship was a farce. It had been going online for years, and on the phone. He had never ever met the girl. And they barely ever spoke."
"He used to sleep around alot when single, and I caught him flirting with a woman online once while he was on the phone with me while reassuring me on the phone while flirting with her"
"He had fabricated alot of lies in our year together alot of them unnecessary connected to his relationship. PLus I caught him lying/flirting on a website with women while talking to me (there;s another thread with this story). I am lost. He's a venus in gemini, is that why he's such a mess?"
"So I called him and asked him what's going on. After alot of dilly dallying he says, he's feeling restricted, and he doesn't wanna be in a relationship. He said he's confused, and I'm way too understanding, which makes things even more difficult."
These are all your posts on this Cancer guy.
Common themes.
He's a liar
All relationships online/long distance/fake
He sleeps around alot and with hookers in real life
He says you are far to "understanding"
Keep your dignity. stop getting played...
Maybe you missed out on the dates of the posts. The last ever post from me on this website was on 28th June 2012. The day he finally opened up to me about his entire past and stopped playing games with me. I admit things were rough in the beginning with alot of mind games, and alot of lies from his end. But he was so hurt and betrayed from his past, that it'd be selfish of me to not let go off things. He made up alot of stories because he was so ashamed of maybe never having slept with a girl other than "hookers", but which guy would tell a girl he's in love with that before he met her, and he could never get laid without paying for it? He was 26 then. And he's a really good looking guy. He's just shy and has the worst luck with women I think. I was hurt when things came out and felt like I had be
"Common themes.
He's a liar
All relationships online/long distance/fake
He sleeps around alot and with hookers in real life
He says you are far to "understanding"
This is true though 😢 arrghhhhhhh!!!
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
What buttons do you press to really piss off a Cancerian Man who is using you to suit his own purposes 'fuck buddy' with
Hi Guys! Me again. Back story, met Cancer guy in Jan, fell in love like that *snap* and moved in together to my plac
This is a continuation from my previous thread. It has been eight days now. I still miss him every day, every hour.
My workaholic cancer boyfriend just left for work..... again!!! The man doesnt know how to work one job like normal peop
I hope you can help me understand my Cancer man............... I'm confused and I know that does'nt come as much of
My cancer friend came up to visit fri and before he left he gave me his pants lol. Mind you these are his comfy fleece
hey all, one of my best friends has a crush on this cancer guy. we went out for halloween and I was SHOCKED by his be
I'd been dating my Cancer man for over a year. We had ups and downs, but were pretty much inseparable. We've been in a l
Dear friends. Please help me. I met my Cancer man 9 months ago, fell in love at first sight and within 2 months he m
Hello! I really need some help with my cancer ex boyfriend... We broke up about two yrs ago & he decides that we should
Im trying to figure out how to word this so I can get my point across..... Do cancer males like to experience i.e live
He is a little older than me...What turns them on? should I take more of the lead? I want to know what makes their blood
I have had a read and seen an alarming rate of people who have been cheated on by cancers. so with the below placements
So I dated a cancer man off and on for two years, we cut contact fir the padt year due to work & school schedules. In t
Im an Aries and been having serious problems with the Cancer guy im seeing . We have been talking for 5 months now and i
Hi everyone. I met this crab last february on one of my workwiths with my agent. My work entails distribution management
I've been told on numerous occasions how cancer men & I suppose women as well, can be very emotional as well as very pr
As a Cancer Male I have found myself fascinated by Tom Cruise from an astrological standpoint -Tom Cruise is a good
Hey guys....here wondering the most popular reason for the infamous Cancer self sabotaging in relationships Have u ev
coming from a Pisces female, is it just me or are cancer men REALLY good in bed. lol js. what is your experience when it
I received the letter today. In the letter he talks about how he never matched my love, and how I forgave him again and again, and yet I took him back. How he didn't deserve another chance, and I gave him. He talks about how he was lazy, uncaring. He said the two weeks we were apart tore him. He didn't know how weak he was, but he became weak infront of such true love. He went home for the weekend and said he was lost. He remembered my cries and pleas and he went through loneliness and an unbearable void. He said he grieves my absence, and how he destroyed the best partner he could ever get. However, in the final para he says that "I know Ive said this many times, and I'll say it again. I am undeserving of your love. You are a beautiful, vibrant, charming girl. I may have said so many things I would never mean. Sorry is too small a word for my follies. Take care. You have a good life ahead."
I texted him I received his letter, and if he thinks we should talk about it. He replied with a yes, and said he will be home late today, so we should talk abt this tomorrow night.
I have no idea what to make of the letter. It seems like a sorry and an explanation cause he felt guilty. But it doesn't seem like he wants to get back. What do I do?