Are Capricorns judgmental?

I'm working with this new guy. He's a 25 yrs old, Cap sun, Sag moon, Sag mercury, Scorpio venus, Pisces mars. Maybe I'm being too sensitive (cancer moon), but I feel as if he's sizing up and quantifying every move I make. However, all I get from him is "Oh, is that how you're doing it?" or "Is that really the best...?" He never just flat out tells me what it is he thinks...wants...his formed opinions... He just says whatever action I'm doing followed by a "Hmmm..." At first I thought maybe it's the Pisces mars, but he's actually a very dominant, assertive guy.

He also likes to chit chat about MY finances, and MY past, present and future financial decisions. Of course always followed by "Hmmm" or silence. I feel like he's trying to put me in a box with a tidy label on top. He asks questions and then looks like he's weighing my answer, filing it away...

LOL The fuck is this shit? It's driving me crazy. It's not like he's my boss or mentor. We're supposed to be collaborating. What the hell is he THINKING? My god! That pokerface is no joke. I can't shake the feeling that I'm being judged on my work and on my personal life. Ha, I can't believe how frustrating I find it...maybe because it's so ambiguous...I don't know whether the judgment is negative or positive.lol

So hmmm... 😉 are you Caps judgmental?

Thanks everyone. He doesn't seem like a bad guy. And I don't mind the actual "judging", I just can't stand not knowing what judgement was reached.lol Especially when it comes to my work. Haha so I'll guess I'll simply ask.


@Metoo

Thanks, your particular advice seems like it would definitely help.

What I have learned

I think he is judging. He thinks he is helping.
The message is valid. The delivery could use a ton of work.

Oh, the conversations I have had ...

Me: I think I am going to try and lose some weight.
Cap: Do you know what would happen if I wanted to lose weight?
Me: No what? (getting ready to unsheathe)
Cap: I would lose the weight.

Me: I am going to open a flower shop.
Cap: Oh, really?
Me: Yes
Cap: Why?
Me: Because I like flowers
Cap: You also like sugar, are you going to open a bakery too?

I use to get so mad. Now, I just try to find the message hidden in between the sarcasm and often unsolicited advice. The advice even though it kills me to admit it is usually very sound.

Caps will hold someone to their own standards. I'm not going to respect someone that doesn't work as hard as I do, or treat people nicely, etc.

For instance, if someone is complaining about how hard it is to pay their bills, how they have no money, always broke, BUT goes and buys new shoes/clothes every payday, spends $ 15 every day for lunch, always has salon perfect nails, etc., I'm not going to respect them because they don't handle their finances properly, in my opinion. Once I have that opinion, I won't care to listen anymore when they complain about being broke, I won't care. However, if I feel they are doing everything they can to save a dollar (PB&J for lunch every day) I will listen and offer advice and try to help them.

Another perspective: He could be just trying to get to know you. I want to know how you think, why you do what you do, observe your loyalty/dependability/responsibility, how you treat people, etc. Then, if I like what I see, I will decide if you're the type of person I want to be friends with.

In short, yes they are. Although they will always have a hundred reasons ready as to why they do it. All of them make sense to them of course, and here lies the key issue..in general they are unable or unwilling to see things from other people's point of view.

Caps even from a very early age have very strong and fixed idea's as to how things should be, lots of these idea's remain the same even when they become much older, so its like somehow somewhere during their teen years they skip the part where they learn to understand that there are many different ways of looking at everything, that there are different ways of getting somewhere regardless of how more efficient one way and how unefficient the other one is, Caps can not comprehend that there are people who dont have efficiency or common sense as their main priorities in their decisions. Actually in a way I do admire Caps for being so consistent in their views, it helps a great deal when you have a specific plan of course to get somewhere, however people's priorities vary and change along the way too and I think Caps have trouble understanding that there is no right or wrong way to get somewhere.

Shaks, I really do try to understand how someone does things, try to understand the thought process behind what they're doing, ask questions, see the other point of view, observe how it works their way, and so forth.

Probably, why we are interpretted as judgemental or condescending and I'm sure it's not comfortable for the other person. They feel we are questioning their intelligence/knowledge/process. Maybe yes, maybe no. Depends. Remember, we do like to learn things, though and can be pretty intense about it.

Sometimes, I like the way someone else does things, sometimes I think my way is better. That is probably because my way makes sense to me and i still don't understand their way. I will admit to being resistant at having to do something someone else's way, especially if it doesn't make sense to me. But, often, their way will click and then I don't mind. And occasionally, I will end up thinking their way is better. Shhhh!!!!

@ OP, I think you are absolutely correct about him trying to put you in a box. It's easier to handle people when you "think" you have them figured out, labeled and filed in a box. Once this happens, it's a piece of cake to stay one step ahead.

I think Virgos are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more judgemental.

It's Earth signs in general. Aren't they suppose to be grounded. If they see or perceive you being flighty then they will promptly ground you...like an Air Traffic Controller. 😉

The Capricorn Motto should be...."You can't possibly be serious".

Posted by RoseTheTaurus
I'm working with this new guy. He's a 25 yrs old, Cap sun, Sag moon, Sag mercury, Scorpio venus, Pisces mars. Maybe I'm being too sensitive (cancer moon), but I feel as if he's sizing up and quantifying every move I make. However, all I get from him is "Oh, is that how you're doing it?" or "Is that really the best...?" He never just flat out tells me what it is he thinks...wants...his formed opinions... He just says whatever action I'm doing followed by a "Hmmm..." At first I thought maybe it's the Pisces mars, but he's actually a very dominant, assertive guy.

He also likes to chit chat about MY finances, and MY past, present and future financial decisions. Of course always followed by "Hmmm" or silence. I feel like he's trying to put me in a box with a tidy label on top. He asks questions and then looks like he's weighing my answer, filing it away...

LOL The fuck is this shit? It's driving me crazy. It's not like he's my boss or mentor. We're supposed to be collaborating. What the hell is he THINKING? My god! That pokerface is no joke. I can't shake the feeling that I'm being judged on my work and on my personal life. Ha, I can't believe how frustrating I find it...maybe because it's so ambiguous...I don't know whether the judgment is negative or positive.lol

So hmmm... 😉 are you Caps judgmental?

Im a capricorn... almost 24.. sounds like something I would say to someone, Only to see what the other person is thinking, A way of trying to see whether your way is better than mine. We may come off as sarcastic/egotistical when asking questions like the ones you just mentioned, but it's not how we mean to come off, we only come off that way in order to get a logical answer, not judging your answer, unless we know its faulty.

The silence is because we don't think you want to hear what we have to say. We actually do have a shit ton to say but were kind of shy about our thoughts/opinions. Well I don't know about capricorns, but I sure am shy about my opinions because I don't want to say something and sound like a fool or sound like a know it all.

I'm sure hes just trying to meet you so he can feel comfortable working with you, were old fashioned guys, so we like to meet people the old fashioned way, "how old are ya, where ya from, what do you do, derp a derp... ;p" Yes I know this is boring and seems like some kind of questionaire, but I ima

gine myself like Data from the next generation. And no capricorns aren't judgemental, I'll friend just about anybody including weirdos/failures/hoodlums, to the biggest nerd to the hottest prep. Just as long as they are nice to me they have my loyalty.

~Were just trying to see if you like us quiet shy individuals... 🙂

Posted by truecap
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Probably, why we are interpretted as judgemental or condescending and I'm sure it's not comfortable for the other person. They feel we are questioning their intelligence/knowledge/process. Maybe yes, maybe no. Depends. Remember, we do like to learn things, though and can be pretty intense about it.

Sometimes, I like the way someone else does things, sometimes I think my way is better. That is probably because my way makes sense to me and i still don't understand their way. I will admit to being resistant at having to do something someone else's way, especially if it doesn't make sense to me. But, often, their way will click and then I don't mind. And occasionally, I will end up thinking their way is better. Shhhh!!!!

I know exactly what you mean, yet my whole point is that for the most important decisions in life there really is no "better or worse" way of doing them, it really is a very personal thing, and each of us has to find out what our own "best" way is for ourselves, according to who we are individually, my problem with Caps is that they try to standardize their way as the best overall way JUST because it makes sense to them. What caps call a better way simply implies in most cases just "the most sensible way" but the point is, sensible or rational is not everybody's priority all the time as far as taking decisions or doing things a certain way, sometimes people just "feel" they have to do something even if logically it makes no sense, does that make them wrong? Of course not. Caps dont seem to be able to respect someone's thought process that they can not understand themselves, even less if the other person cant really word logically why they chose that way (which happens a lot since lots of people take important decisions instinctually rather than logically). Just because one doesnt understand someone else's ways, that does not make them confused..

@ Tomberjacks post

I think this is the first time on dxp that I've seen someone end a post with the first half of a word, then begin the next post with the 2nd half of the word. *yay!😛* Thank you 🙂

Usually someone will repeat the whole or part of the previous sentence which throws off my train of thought.

Cappys are awesome.

Welcome Tomber!

Im not judgemental IF the situatiom doesnt involve me. People can do whatever they want howevwr they want. IF Im involved I kind of get a little paranoid and prefer things my way. Since the two of you are working together you are now a representation of him and vice versa. Hes gonna be on edge a bit, unfortunately.

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Posted by truecap
.
Probably, why we are interpretted as judgemental or condescending and I'm sure it's not comfortable for the other person. They feel we are questioning their intelligence/knowledge/process. Maybe yes, maybe no. Depends. Remember, we do like to learn things, though and can be pretty intense about it.

Sometimes, I like the way someone else does things, sometimes I think my way is better. That is probably because my way makes sense to me and i still don't understand their way. I will admit to being resistant at having to do something someone else's way, especially if it doesn't make sense to me. But, often, their way will click and then I don't mind. And occasionally, I will end up thinking their way is better. Shhhh!!!!

I know exactly what you mean, yet my whole point is that for the most important decisions in life there really is no "better or worse" way of doing them, it really is a very personal thing, and each of us has to find out what our own "best" way is for ourselves, according to who we are individually, my problem with Caps is that they try to standardize their way as the best overall way JUST because it makes sense to them. What caps call a better way simply implies in most cases just "the most sensible way" but the point is, sensible or rational is not everybody's priority all the time as far as taking decisions or doing things a certain way, sometimes people just "feel" they have to do something even if logically it makes no sense, does that make them wrong? Of course not. Caps dont seem to be able to respect someone's thought process that they can not understand themselves, even less if the other person cant really word logically why they chose that way (which happens a lot since lots of people take important decisions instinctually rather than logically). Just because one doesnt understand someone else's ways, that does not make them confused..

click to expand

I get what you're saying and all I can do is try harder so others don't feel like that. I promise to respect other people's processes from now on! Awareness is a good thing!

Sorry that I got so passionate about it 😛 Im pretty ill right now and had to stay the whole day in bed!

Yeah but that would imply that you actually *know* what the best way is for EVERYONE, which is ludicrous. Cappies seem to delude themselves sometimes with so much *reality* going on in their lives. 😛

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Sorry that I got so passionate about it 😛 Im pretty ill right now and had to stay the whole day in bed!

Hope you feel better soon!

*sending Shaks some homemade chicken soup*

seraph, what Cappy has lead you astray?

Thank you for the welcome Inana, and your welcome for that Wynter.

Hello to everyone! And I hope you all have happy holidays! I'll try not to be a stranger~ 🙂

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Just because one doesn't understand someone else's ways, that does not make them confused.

No, but their inability to explain why they choose to do a given thing in a given way does.

I agree with champranger. If something about the way we approach things bothers you, remove the frustration, and explain it to us. I love it when my sister point out the error in my ways when dealing with people. I always sit back and listen and since shes started telling me about myself in a valid way, I now value the heck out of her opinion. Not saying this will work on/with all Caps, because it IS all about the approach but its worth giving it a try. The INTENT of whatever is not to make a person feel uncomfortable, so let him/her know they are doing that and hopefully things improve.

Its certainly not a coincidence that a MATURE cap (truecap) is the only cap on this thread who seems to understand where Im coming from, when one is younger..one tends to prefer to protect his/her ego and pride rather than take a good look at oneself 😉

Yup for the most part...we find that we know what is best for those around us and hold them to a high standard. You can always count on a Cap to give you a good reality check 😉

having cap relatives, there is great wisdom behind their words.

Yes we are. But I dont think we necessarily discriminate because of it. Lets put it this way. If we think what you are doing is wrong for you and we dont tell you, we dont care about you.

Posted by Wynter
@ Tomberjacks post

I think this is the first time on dxp that I've seen someone end a post with the first half of a word, then begin the next post with the 2nd half of the word. *yay!😛* Thank you 🙂

Usually someone will repeat the whole or part of the previous sentence which throws off my train of thought.

Cappys are awesome.

rofl!!!

Uuh!, I feel really at home here 😆

I question a lot, and yeah...judge too

But I don't have to be asking questions for that, I can judge you as well by looking at the way you eat, by shaking your hand, by the way you say your name, by "Did you just look at the ground?" when speaking about yourself, do your hands fidget, what makes you laugh?

If you irritate me I will ask you questions to really know if you irritate me or not, if I like you I will make sure why I like you.

I ask questions to know if I have read you correctly but in the process I will box you up and tie a lovely little ribbon with a big clear label on it :-)

Oh, and one more thing. A "Hmmmmm" is the best reply I can give, it means I am interested...just don't want to make a big deal of it.

And what happens when people turn the game around...well you sort of go pale and think "oh crap, me and my big mouth!"

So, shut up and answer my bloody questions!!! please :-)

People are just frustrating Sangfroid. I try my hardest to respect people and their boundaries. Folks like to push and push, then pretend to be victims when they realize what their now up against. Now all of a sudden you're the bad guy. Ah well..

Im personally more self ctitical too.

Posted by NotaNewbie
Yes we are. But I dont think we necessarily discriminate because of it. Lets put it this way. If we think what you are doing is wrong for you and we dont tell you, we dont care about you.

Hiiiiiiii. 🙂 Say hi to me.

Posted by harry99
All the Capricorns I've met hve been judgemental. So have all the Virgos and most if not all of the Tauruses. Earth signs are the criticizers. Other signs do it too but the earth signs seem more direct and noticeable.

they're a different kind of bad-assery than fire. 😄
they're awesome!!
they push you to be the best you can be. and look out for your best interests/security. (cap and taurus close relatives)

Posted by ScorpSuperior

Posted by NotaNewbie
Yes we are. But I dont think we necessarily discriminate because of it. Lets put it this way. If we think what you are doing is wrong for you and we dont tell you, we dont care about you.

Hiiiiiiii. 🙂 Say hi to me.

click to expand

Hi 🙂

This thread is gold.

I wonder what is the way to approach a cap to make him change his view or opinion on something?

I understand in general, but the cap I know with "exactly the same placements" seems judgemental

Posted by Fawne

Posted by 7s

Yes, they are. Extremely!!!

This is a really old thread bumped by @TxOgal.

click to expand

thanks for the useless mention

Posted by Fawne

Posted by TxOgal

Posted by Fawne

Posted by 7s

Yes, they are. Extremely!!!

This is a really old thread bumped by @TxOgal.

thanks for the useless mention

Useless to you, but not to everyone else.

Now everyone knows who is bumping years old threads 😆

click to expand

Theres nothing wrong with discussing years old thread. What matters is the topic discussed. I think it is actually disturbing when I find several repeated threads on the same topic!