Cappies

Warning: over analytical, shit stream of Virgo consciousness ahead. Bear with me. Or call me on my silly bull. Dealer's choice.

Generalized, overly broad question: What are reasons you would completely ignore someone you used to date?

Localized, me-centric scenerio: I was friends with, and then briefly dated a young Cappie guy over the summer. It ended in August/September-ish due to (I thought) us being in different places in life and set on different relationship speeds. We liked each other, but he was 19 at the time and I was 27, if that matters. I thought we ended on amicable terms, but I sent him a couple messages here and there (no more than three since it ended) with absolutely no response. The most recent being on his birthday last week.

Now, perhaps this is just my ego and/or insecurity getting the best of me. I am certainly not entitled to a response from him, but the only reasons *I* would flat out ignore someone I used to know in this capacity is if I either: thought they were crazy, or if I wanted to completely forget their existence. Of course these are just *my* rationales, so they may not be applicable here, cause I am not him.

So. Any insight would be appreciated. If it sounds like the above reasons could be plausible, then please let me know. If this is just S.O.P. for Cappies who remain "friends" post relationship ending, then I'll keep him on my Merry Christmas and happy birthday list, etc.

He was important to me for the time he was in my life, but I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable :/

The only person who could conclusively tell you why is him, and he's not talking. Yet, the message conveyed by his silence is crystal clear. For whatever reason, he has no desire to have any contact with you. He clearly has no desire to remain friends; a friend would not ignore you as he has chosen to do. Respect that - and yourself - and find someone worthy of your time and affection.

Posted by Andalusia
Now, perhaps this is just my ego and/or insecurity getting the best of me. I am certainly not entitled to a response from him, but the only reasons *I* would flat out ignore someone I used to know in this capacity is if I either: thought they were crazy, or if I wanted to completely forget their existence. Of course these are just *my* rationales, so they may not be applicable here, cause I am not him.

I can tell you why my Cap ex ignores me: shame.

For some of them it's out of sight, out of mind.

I wouldn't keep him on any lists btw.

If a 27 year old was knocking on my 19 year old's door, we'd be having a come-to-Jesus meeting out behind the woodshed.

Thank you all for your feedback. And Truecap, I swear my intentions were honorable! 😢

I am just looking at it from a mother's point of view.

No offense to you personally.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
This is going to sound horrible, but there's only 2 reasons i'd completely cut contact with someone.

1. They screwed me over really bad or (in my mind) caused me to screw over myself.

2. I have no use for them any more. (at the moment!)

+100 w/ the amendment on #2.

I prefer to stay friends in most cases. But I do remember having a 'mild' intention to reply back to someone only for them to do something that pissed me off (becoming angry/possessive after months of no contact if you don't respond right away anymore) and never bothering anymore.

He just doesn't feel like responding right now. Maybe something he couldn't possibly know did reach his ears maybe he will respond in the future. On his terms