do cappy guys pull back? :)

I am FWB with a cappy guy, its only been going on for about a month and a half now.. once a week or so! before this, we spoke every single day through text for the past 3-4 months but never in "that" way then one day it just happened, and we decided to be FWB and i said strictly no strings attached but i suspect there might be a bit of feelings there now but he would never admitt it...Anyway, we continued talking every single day even though we are FWB, except yesterday there was nothing.. i texted him first on monday, and we were fine, talking like normal and then yesterday which was tuesday, i didnt text him and he didnt text me all day.. and now its lunch time wednesday and still nothing.. haha do cappys sometimes pull back? I'm not going to text first cause i did last time and i dont want to be annoying or anything 🙂

thoughts?

If it's only FWB

Is it really that important?

Seems like you're the one catching feelings.

Go back and read (Google) FWB rules, maybe that will help you understand better.

One day of no contact and you're upset about it? Geesh!!!

Maybe he was tired, busy, with someone else, working late, visiting with family, hanging out with friends....Give the guy a break.

Besides, with FWB, he has NO obligations to you.

This has happened before. Posted on 2/26.

Posted by scorpio24
He's acting weird, we spoke heaps yesterday via text and then today i didnt message him and he hasnt messaged me, but by now we would already have spoken about 1000 different things hahaha. its weird

I stated this in her previous thread....

This is a deja vu thread.

Very familiar.

Yep, I remember that. You mentioned repeat mistakes.

Lolz. (sigh) He's not obligated to just you since it's FWB. So, yeah......

i said strictly no strings attached

therefore, strictly no strings attached

Why on earth would you do friends with benefits? That's giving the milk for free. And men don't respect what they don't work for. You clearly have feelings for this dude or you wouldn't be stressing about him not texting you back. FWB is for suckers. Women should never allow themselves to be played like this. Is sex really THAT important? Sex without love is mutual masturbation. Thanks but I can take care of those needs myself and not wonder why the fool isn't texting me back. Moral of the story: think more highly of what you have to offer.

Posted by Este8
Why on earth would you do friends with benefits? That's giving the milk for free. And men don't respect what they don't work for. You clearly have feelings for this dude or you wouldn't be stressing about him not texting you back. FWB is for suckers. Women should never allow themselves to be played like this. Is sex really THAT important? Sex without love is mutual masturbation. Thanks but I can take care of those needs myself and not wonder why the fool isn't texting me back. Moral of the story: think more highly of what you have to offer.

Though there is a hint of truth in there, this kind of moralizing bullshit irks me.

Posted by TigerCap

Posted by Este8
Why on earth would you do friends with benefits? That's giving the milk for free. And men don't respect what they don't work for. You clearly have feelings for this dude or you wouldn't be stressing about him not texting you back. FWB is for suckers. Women should never allow themselves to be played like this. Is sex really THAT important? Sex without love is mutual masturbation. Thanks but I can take care of those needs myself and not wonder why the fool isn't texting me back. Moral of the story: think more highly of what you have to offer.

Though there is a hint of truth in there, this kind of moralizing bullshit irks me.

click to expand

Yes but there's worse things than "moralizing bullshit." There's realizing when we're putting ourselves in a fucked up situation. Women who want real relationships should never settle for FWB. Our mothers understood this but we live in such a hyper sexualized, you can have it all, let's call feminism objectifying men bullshit that these kinds of put downs really just don't do it for me anymore. I'm so tired of women acting stupid and letting men get away with using us. Most women want love. And that's how it should be.

Posted by Este8
Why on earth would you do friends with benefits? That's giving the milk for free. And men don't respect what they don't work for. You clearly have feelings for this dude or you wouldn't be stressing about him not texting you back. FWB is for suckers. Women should never allow themselves to be played like this. Is sex really THAT important? Sex without love is mutual masturbation. Thanks but I can take care of those needs myself and not wonder why the fool isn't texting me back. Moral of the story: think more highly of what you have to offer.

cause im horny as f*ck duhhhh.

I dont want a relationship with anyone (i leave in 2 months to go overseas for at least a year or 2 so its not possible) and i dont like to get my numbers up in the bedroom department, so its easier for me to have a FWB buddy!


I think people misunderstand my intentions on here alot, im not upset or stressing, im just naturally a very curious person in EVERYTHING and like to know everything. you can thank my gemini rising and gemini mars for that!

and FYI he ended up texting me, was prob just busy living his life 🙂

Also, another reason i began this thread "do they pull back" is because he's pretty affectionate but the last 2 times, hes been REALLY REALLY affectionate and sensual. After we are done, he cuddles me like ive never been cuddled before, he moves my hair out of my face, kisses my forhead, kisses my hands etc etc... usually FWD dont do that 😐 i just go with it cause i enjoy attention and affection, wont lie 😉

Leave before the touch feely stuff starts, call him up whenever you want to shag, and ignore any other contact.

FWB = lots of inevitable hurt..who could be bothered. Giving casual sex a Label was always going to end up in tears and tantrums. FWB is usually only one step away from the Dull relationship trap.

Posted by Este8
Why on earth would you do friends with benefits? That's giving the milk for free. And men don't respect what they don't work for. You clearly have feelings for this dude or you wouldn't be stressing about him not texting you back. FWB is for suckers. Women should never allow themselves to be played like this. Is sex really THAT important? Sex without love is mutual masturbation. Thanks but I can take care of those needs myself and not wonder why the fool isn't texting me back. Moral of the story: think more highly of what you have to offer.

THIS! Yes...my thoughts exactly when i read post like this.

Posted by TigerCap

Posted by Este8
Why on earth would you do friends with benefits? That's giving the milk for free. And men don't respect what they don't work for. You clearly have feelings for this dude or you wouldn't be stressing about him not texting you back. FWB is for suckers. Women should never allow themselves to be played like this. Is sex really THAT important? Sex without love is mutual masturbation. Thanks but I can take care of those needs myself and not wonder why the fool isn't texting me back. Moral of the story: think more highly of what you have to offer.

Though there is a hint of truth in there, this kind of moralizing bullshit irks me.

click to expand

Hmm well lets detect why, you are probably one of the guys benefiting from this new aged woman that subjects herself to it, and then catches feelings and your the same guy that will call her crazy. In my opinion women aren't built to have casual sex like men, with some men we can but there's always that one man thats our match, and then POOF all the rules go out the window and we cant understand what it is about this one. Smh, i'm not surprised you are irked though, most men would be. Like "HEY, hey! Leave her be, if she wants to screw with no feelings, leave that woman be." lol

Posted by scorpio24

Posted by Este8
Why on earth would you do friends with benefits? That's giving the milk for free. And men don't respect what they don't work for. You clearly have feelings for this dude or you wouldn't be stressing about him not texting you back. FWB is for suckers. Women should never allow themselves to be played like this. Is sex really THAT important? Sex without love is mutual masturbation. Thanks but I can take care of those needs myself and not wonder why the fool isn't texting me back. Moral of the story: think more highly of what you have to offer.

cause im horny as f*ck duhhhh.

I dont want a relationship with anyone (i leave in 2 months to go overseas for at least a year or 2 so its not possible) and i dont like to get my numbers up in the bedroom department, so its easier for me to have a FWB buddy!


I think people misunderstand my intentions on here alot, im not upset or stressing, im just naturally a very curious person in EVERYTHING and like to know everything. you can thank my gemini rising and gemini mars for that!

and FYI he ended up texting me, was prob just busy living his life 🙂

click to expand

Well good for you,lol. However whether you want to admit it or not this will get deeper if everytime he does not text you start a thread. If he goes missing, then he goes missing. Thats the whole point everyone is making. No more threads about your FWB going MIA. Your only thread should be, how do i get the d*ck back?? lol. Not "Why is he pulling away?" or "No text? What now?" lol. Hell if you gonna play that role then play it right. Show up in lingerie and skip talking.

Posted by Este8
Why on earth would you do friends with benefits? That's giving the milk for free. And men don't respect what they don't work for.

Stop generalizing

You clearly have feelings for this dude or you wouldn't be stressing about him not texting you back.

I agree. But immediately saying that FWB is always wrong is moralizing bullshit. Giving her a realitycheck to tell her that she isn't doing FWB, she is doing fuckbuddies with one party (her) feeling entitled to more than just sex.

Is sex really THAT important? Sex without love is mutual masturbation.

It just feels a hell of a lot better.

Posted by Este8

Yes but there's worse things than "moralizing bullshit." There's realizing when we're putting ourselves in a fucked up situation. Women who want real relationships should never settle for FWB.

Agreed. That is just allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. And will only lead to heartaches.

Our mothers understood this but we live in such a hyper sexualized, you can have it all, let's call feminism objectifying men bullshit that these kinds of put downs really just don't do it for me anymore.

That seems to be a cultural thing. I am not even sure what country Scorpio24 is from. It makes a big difference. And I'm not sure how old you are but my mother is from the 60's. Hardly the best example of an undersexualized time. Free love and everything. Something that today's young people don't really find acceptable anymore.

Most women want love. And that's how it should be.

click to expand

And this one doesn't. At least not right now. Saying that she shouldn't be doing this in the first place is belittling and doesn't help her in any way.

Posted by tiki33
Seems like you're the one catching feelings.

+1

Edit to my initial post after reading some more. She's not catching feelings. Just self-absorbed.

Posted by pinklibra

Posted by TigerCap

Though there is a hint of truth in there, this kind of moralizing bullshit irks me.

Hmm well lets detect why, you are probably one of the guys benefiting from this new aged woman that subjects herself to it, and then catches feelings and your the same guy that will call her crazy. In my opinion women aren't built to have casual sex like men, with some men we can but there's always that one man thats our match, and then POOF all the rules go out the window and we cant understand what it is about this one. Smh, i'm not surprised you are irked though, most men would be. Like "HEY, hey! Leave her be, if she wants to screw with no feelings, leave that woman be." lol

click to expand

Sigh, my first response would be "You don't know me" but I'm not sure that would work on you. Stop making personal attacks like that.

I know I am not cut out for FWB because I will be the one catching feelings. Hell, the one time I had a one night stand I befriended the girl afterwards and stayed in touch. But I never had sex with her anymore after that.
The only time I would even consider FWB is if there was an emphasis on the friend part. For example when you are both living in different countries and the only time the benefits come into play is when you are visiting and you are both single and willing at the time. When you are not in the same place you are moral and emotional support or share certain things you cannot do with your direct (local) friends. And if things don't work out you can cut contact much more easily than if it's your next dooor neighbour. You have to put down some strict rules in the beginning and live by them.

And I do know some women who are cut out for casual sex. But you are right, they do often go crazy if the right one comes along. But if it really is the right one he will understand that and be patient with her.
There are plenty of stories on here about women who did gave up 'the goods' on a first date and eventually married the guy. Do whatever feels right and works for you. Not what society tells you.

*Cough* Or some jealous prudish women. Those tend to be bitches.*cough*

@tigercap in no way was I trying to take a jab or attack you with my post. Sorry if it came off that way. I was only stating that most men that get irritated when women tell other women not to have meaningless sex or casual sex, those men are the men that are benefiting. I like to point out I said you are —probably?? that man. I didn't say my perception of you was indefinite because you are right I don't know you, HOWEVER this IS a social site so yes people go off your responses and tend to generalize how you may view things in real life.

Fact is if we went off society now days, society tells women it's cool for them to be free with their sexual assets just as much of not more than men. I think my generation of women is forgetting the fact that women were created different, and we will never be able to function JUST like men, especially not in love. If we were supposed to function and act like men, then God would not have created Eve, he would??ve created another man instead. My honest opinion is 95% of the time, men handle FWB better than women.
AGAIN I said 95% of the time, not ALL the time..lol

Posted by scorpio24
Also, another reason i began this thread "do they pull back" is because he's pretty affectionate but the last 2 times, hes been REALLY REALLY affectionate and sensual. After we are done, he cuddles me like ive never been cuddled before, he moves my hair out of my face, kisses my forhead, kisses my hands etc etc... usually FWD dont do that 😐 i just go with it cause i enjoy attention and affection, wont lie 😉

It doesnt "seem" a Cap would follow rules when it comes to things like that. Id think he'd go after what he felt and if he feels he wants to cuddle or kiss he's going to do it because its what feels good to him. He's not going to think in his mind its against the fwb rules/code lol.

Posted by pinklibra
@tigercap in no way was I trying to take a jab or attack you with my post. Sorry if it came off that way. I was only stating that most men that get irritated when women tell other women not to have meaningless sex or casual sex, those men are the men that are benefiting. I like to point out I said you are —probably?? that man. I didn't say my perception of you was indefinite because you are right I don't know you, HOWEVER this IS a social site so yes people go off your responses and tend to generalize how you may view things in real life.

Fact is if we went off society now days, society tells women it's cool for them to be free with their sexual assets just as much of not more than men. I think my generation of women is forgetting the fact that women were created different, and we will never be able to function JUST like men, especially not in love. If we were supposed to function and act like men, then God would not have created Eve, he would??ve created another man instead. My honest opinion is 95% of the time, men handle FWB better than women.
AGAIN I said 95% of the time, not ALL the time..lol

Apology accepted. But my point still stands; we don't know which society OP comes from.
City, small rural village, country or age group.
It mattters. For example; As someone from North-western Europe the very notion of bringing God into this discussion seems weird. Argumentum Ad Traditio makes no sense in a society where less than 18-28% of the people believe there is a God and even less believe it to the letter.

I tried to explain in my follow up posts what part irked me. Not the actual telling her what to do, but the reasons why. It is imposing your opinion on someone who clearly stated she is not falling for him and finds it immoral to start a relationship while knowing she will be leaving for a long period of time in just a few months. She is just open about her needs. Who cares if some people get sufficient pleasure from their fingers, toys, random lovers or well-bred dog. 😛
You can warn her of the risks of what she is doing (Don't use silicon lube on toys, it destroys them) but not what she is doing is wrong.

It can be liberating if done right but it can also mean you are slowly getting used to a certain ideal that is simply not possible. The very experienced guy that is young, handsome but has not been with

It can be liberating if done right but it can also mean you are slowly getting used to a certain ideal that is simply not possible. The very experienced guy that is young, handsome but has not been with many women before you for example. (It's a bad example I know but just roll with it)
Or men believing that friends can turn into lovers while women pretty much always (and yes, I have research for that) believe that friends don't see them 'that way'.

And I am not sure how much of all this is down to the differences between men and women, because they are wired differently, and how much of this is because women are going through a third

Posted by lnana04

Posted by scorpio24
Also, another reason i began this thread "do they pull back" is because he's pretty affectionate but the last 2 times, hes been REALLY REALLY affectionate and sensual. After we are done, he cuddles me like ive never been cuddled before, he moves my hair out of my face, kisses my forhead, kisses my hands etc etc... usually FWD dont do that 😐 i just go with it cause i enjoy attention and affection, wont lie 😉

It doesnt "seem" a Cap would follow rules when it comes to things like that. Id think he'd go after what he felt and if he feels he wants to cuddle or kiss he's going to do it because its what feels good to him. He's not going to think in his mind its against the fwb rules/code lol.

click to expand

Or he can separate what is going on in the bedroom and how he reacts to you outside of that.
Business first for Caps remember? The bedroom is a place to unwind and relax for most Caps. So if he felt like being extra affectionate because he felt like it doesn't necessarily mean he is falling for her if he is just being friendly but less available outside of that.

@tigercap LOL.Point taken. I feel you.

Posted by pinklibra
@tigercap LOL.Point taken. I feel you.

It was the dog example, right? 😛

YES. Lol. Thumbs up.

Posted by CluelessCancer
It seems like she loves the ego stroking. She's enjoying having this cap under her web.

Scorpio women. They're lethal bunch. Why I stay away from them.

Caps can deal with this. Besides, Scorpio sex is off the hook, so he's getting a good deal.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by RichCap

Posted by CluelessCancer
It seems like she loves the ego stroking. She's enjoying having this cap under her web.

Scorpio women. They're lethal bunch. Why I stay away from them.

Caps can deal with this. Besides, Scorpio sex is off the hook, so he's getting a good deal.

Nobody asked you.

click to expand

Fuck of cuckoo

Aw, CC flirting with RichCap.

Not going to pass judgement on fwb, but you clearly don't get it.

You started this year with two topics

do cappy guys pull back?

and

do Pisces men disapear?

Exactly like you do here, you disappeared on the Pisces Board when people actually cared enough to give you advice. You kept the image of "I am so cool, I can do this without attaching". Not true at all, in your case.

You either are clueless to the nature of fwb or are trolling. Will be waiting on the next thread on whatever board it will be this time.

Deja vu.

Posted by Damnata
Not going to pass judgement on fwb, but you clearly don't get it.

You started this year with two topics

do cappy guys pull back?

and

do Pisces men disapear?

Exactly like you do here, you disappeared on the Pisces Board when people actually cared enough to give you advice. You kept the image of "I am so cool, I can do this without attaching". Not true at all, in your case.

You either are clueless to the nature of fwb or are trolling. Will be waiting on the next thread on whatever board it will be this time.

Deja vu.

haha i found out from a good girlfriend that the pisces was totally freaked out by me. he was super shy and i was completely hyper/drunk and full on to the max every time i saw him.. i never liked him. i didnt get a chance to like him cause i was always drunk when i saw him haha. He completely stopped talking to me. nothing really ever happened between me and pisces except kissing.. it could of eventually but i gave him blue balls a few times.. then he disapeared hahah

the capricorn is actually friends with the pisces and now the pisces is jealous apparently.. ahh well i prefer the capricorn 😉

The capricorn seems to be able to handle my quirkiness and my intense personality

pisces was like: 😐 wtf is wrong with you.

he never said it but he was obviously thinking it hahahaa

If you can stop yourself from getting attached, that's good.

It's always weird when I see a Scorpio playing it this lightly...I always squint my eyes suspiciously lol

-.-

Posted by Damnata
If you can stop yourself from getting attached, that's good.

It's always weird when I see a Scorpio playing it this lightly...I always squint my eyes suspiciously lol

-.-

in all honesty, i dont think i will start getting feelings for the cap.. he's cool and everything, but hes completely not what i usually go for and hes def not boyfriend material. he's got a lot of sag and is heaps fun and stuff but he's also completely off the rails, all though hes double capricorn he's so irresponsible in life.. and i couldnt deal with that long term.. he's too free spirited for me! Also the fact that im leaving soon.. i have no choice but to play it lightly! and i still talk regularly to other boys (i dont do anything with them) but talking to other boys keeps me from developing feelings for the cappy

Got something against people called Richard?

Posted by scorpio24
pisces was like: 😐 wtf is wrong with you.

he never said it but he was obviously thinking it hahahaa

So the plot thickens. You smashing the homie.lol. Smh. Girl you are playing a dangerous game and being a Scorp I??ve read they don't take lightly to losing, IF they lose.
I'm telling you right now, DO NOT catch feelings for the Capricorn under ANY circumstances. You are now a common topic between two men. Not good. You smash one out the group and tried to get the other. It's not a good look if you fall for one of them.
But if you say you got this, then I??ll guess we will see.

Posted by scorpio24

Posted by Damnata
Not going to pass judgement on fwb, but you clearly don't get it.

You started this year with two topics

do cappy guys pull back?

and

do Pisces men disapear?

Exactly like you do here, you disappeared on the Pisces Board when people actually cared enough to give you advice. You kept the image of "I am so cool, I can do this without attaching". Not true at all, in your case.

You either are clueless to the nature of fwb or are trolling. Will be waiting on the next thread on whatever board it will be this time.

Deja vu.

haha i found out from a good girlfriend that the pisces was totally freaked out by me. he was super shy and i was completely hyper/drunk and full on to the max every time i saw him.. i never liked him. i didnt get a chance to like him cause i was always drunk when i saw him haha. He completely stopped talking to me. nothing really ever happened between me and pisces except kissing.. it could of eventually but i gave him blue balls a few times.. then he disapeared hahah

the capricorn is actually friends with the pisces and now the pisces is jealous apparently.. ahh well i prefer the capricorn 😉

click to expand

Messing with friends? Be careful with that or you're going to get yourself quite a little reputation.
Once someone gets a bad reputation, it's really hard to reclaim it.

Just a "mom" warning. Proceed however you want. 🙂

Posted by RichCap
Got something against people called Richard?

She likes the idea you have the word rich in your user name. It's all about the money, honey. 🙂

Posted by virg_goki
Really, this topic is dubious too the core. Poor girl is so capable in deluding herself to a power game nobody else is playing and she still wants to assert control.

The Virgo called checkmate.
And so will the Cappie.

But unfortunately, DXP will get a distorted, fictitious chain of events, the one that involves her life transformation, one that leaves her emotions null & void, but liberating...enough to leave the Cappie begging for mercy.

She's hilarious, though, I love reading her threads.

Posted by champranger

Posted by scorpio24

Posted by Damnata
If you can stop yourself from getting attached, that's good.

It's always weird when I see a Scorpio playing it this lightly...I always squint my eyes suspiciously lol

-.-

in all honesty, i dont think i will start getting feelings for the cap.. he's cool and everything, but hes completely not what i usually go for and hes def not boyfriend material. he's got a lot of sag and is heaps fun and stuff but he's also completely off the rails, all though hes double capricorn he's so irresponsible in life.. and i couldnt deal with that long term.. he's too free spirited for me! Also the fact that im leaving soon.. i have no choice but to play it lightly! and i still talk regularly to other boys (i dont do anything with them) but talking to other boys keeps me from developing feelings for the cappy

It is not comprehensible to me that a Scorpio would waste a fair bit of her energy on curiosity for a guy she had no feelings for ... 😕

click to expand

or even enjoy being cuddle by him or recieving his affection.

UPDATE TO THOSE WHO ARE INTERESTE😱

Okay, so for the past 2 weeks, cappy and I don't talk as much as we used to.. however we've still caught up a couple of times and that was all fine and normal. 🙂

To be honest, ive caught a little bit of feeling for him, but not that much & i know it wont go anywhere, nor do i want it to..

LONG STORY SHORT.. the other night we ended up having a deep and meaningful conversation through text messages.. the topic of feelings for eachother came up, and these were his exact words: "I dont think i like you in that way. I think youre an amazing girl, theres not a fault about you but it takes me ages to get close to people if you know what i mean and i freak out when i start to get close, and back off" and then i asked him why he freaks out when he gets close and he said "i'm not someone people should get close to cause i always f*k up" (he's pretty hard on himself sometimes)

THEN..
He asked me if i liked him more then a friend, and i didnt know what to say so all i texted was "umm.." and I was about to text more but he send another one saying "its not that i didnt feel anything at all, its just i dont want to let it go far if u know what i mean"

and then i told him I have a BIT of feeling with him, but i've also tried to put up a bit of an emotional barrier up, and understand what he means. We both know im leaving for a looong time in 2 months, so we are just gonna continue the way we are.. but at least now the reasons for him being more distant and not talking much like we used to, but to be honest its probably better this way cause FWB dont talk as much as we used to!

and thats the update!

the end 🙂

oops that last bit was meant to say:

**but at least now i KNOW the reasons why he was being distant and not talking much like we used to, but to be honest its probably better this way cause normal FWB shouldnt talk as much as we used to!