Cap stopped talking to me after I bought him ..

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by HomePillowHome on Monday, March 10, 2014 and has 35 replies.

Profile picture of HomePillowHome
@HomePillowHome
12 Years

so me and this venus in capricorn guy weren't ever committed but there were feelings involved.He told me he has issues with commitment because of his past and its hard for him to love.And he does have feelings for me but he's in denial.So he has alot of issues 😒A month ago i got him a very expensive gift and after that he said we should stop talking because we will never be in a committed relationship EVER .He said married couple give eachother gifts like this(the gift was more than $ 1000)Then he removed me from fb,after he did that i havent contacted him and havent heard from him and im so hurt.He didnt even wish me a happy bday.Guys,why did he remove me from fb? Did he feel pressure from me because of the very expensive gift.i know its expensive but im in love with this guy and i feel so awful now😭I feel like a crazy person because I know I did the wrong thing.You don't give gifts like this to people you're not in a relationship with and i'm beating myself up for it 😒I'm just a very giving person especially to the people i love.We haven't spoken in about two months.He has done this before in the past but in the past he stopped talking to me after i told him how i felt for him but then after a few months of not talking he'd come back and say sorry and that he misses me and it was hard for him to not talk to me.Guys,do you think i will hear from him again?I'm worried i will never hear from him again and i dont want to contact him because i feel it will scare him more 😒

Profile picture of HomePillowHome
@HomePillowHome
12 Years

Posted by aquapiscescusp
Ask him for the gift back. Tell him it was a huge mistake. He obviously felt weird about receiving it, you never know he might want to give it back to feel less pressure or whatever.

I don't wanna do that.I'd feel even worse.And you're right, i made a huge mistake 😒

Profile picture of aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by HomePillowHome
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Ask him for the gift back. Tell him it was a huge mistake. He obviously felt weird about receiving it, you never know he might want to give it back to feel less pressure or whatever.

I don't wanna do that.I'd feel even worse.And you're right, i made a huge mistake 😒

click to expand

Can I ask what the gift was? We learn from our mistakes, don't be to hard on yourself...

Profile picture of CapTenn
@CapTenn
12 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

Posted by champranger
Posted by Chance15
i know you were just being nice..that's happened to me before (although not on that level) in the rush to be helpful. i wouldn't ask for it back (might make it worse) or try to contact him (i'm assuming he already knows how you see it?)..sounds like an immature situation..messing with a young cap can be a destructive pursuit.

This one is a Cap venus. πŸ˜›

click to expand

I'm a Cap venus. What is the significance? Good? Bad?

I'm ignorant on this stuff past the sun sign.

Profile picture of CapTenn
@CapTenn
12 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

Posted by CapGal
Posted by champranger
Posted by CapGal
The guy has no dignity. How could he take/accept an expensive gift, then leave you standing? He did you a great favour by leaving, so hold your head high and keep walking. Asking him to return the gift would be equivalent to rolling in the dirt with a sow.....don't do it. Consider this experience an expensive lesson.

She lost his respect because through this expensive gift, she lowered her value in his eyes... IMO

I understand what you're saying but the guy has no self respect, so how can he respect others? She was simply being generous.

click to expand

I think you may be improperly labeling this poor fella.

Big, expensive gifts are scary as hell. I most likely would have done the same thing. Even the OP realizes this after the fact.

Profile picture of Damnata
@Damnata
16 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

But anyway, to say it AGAIN.

Stop buying men, especially earth sign men expensive shit or give them haircuts. That shit can wait after a serious relationship develops. If you want to do something for them, take them to see some movie or cook smthg for them.

It's in a man's nature to back away from this.

Profile picture of HomePillowHome
@HomePillowHome
12 Years

awwwww guys thanks so much for the advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I know i scared him 😒 and i hope he doesn't think i'm insane 😒 I know he has commitment issues and i scared him by giving him this gift which in his mind screams commitment.Guys,do you think he will be back if he truly has feelings for me?

Profile picture of truecap
@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts

So, am I getting this correctly? He actually KEPT the gift? Then broke it off with her? What a no-class loser!!!! He should have refused it.

Girl, you're better off without him.

(But, yes, the gift was inappropriate).

Profile picture of CapTenn
@CapTenn
12 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

I must ask the question (haven't seen anyone else mention it), and there's a lot of jumping to conclusions here, which may, or may not be accurate.

We've established that he kept the expensive gift. But, did he at any point attempt to not accept it/give it back?

9 times of out 10, when unexpected/inappropriate gifts are given, the receiver says "Oh, wow. Really, you shouldn't have. I cannot accept such a gift." They try to refuse, but more often than not, the giver insists that you take it and keep it, and won't take no for an answer.

If this scenario took place, and the guy tried to refuse but was denied, then he is blameless, even if he kept the gift. What choice did he have? She insisted and wouldn't take no for an answer.

I like to know if this situation played out as described above, before crucifying the guy.

Profile picture of truecap
@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by CapTenn
I must ask the question (haven't seen anyone else mention it), and there's a lot of jumping to conclusions here, which may, or may not be accurate.

We've established that he kept the expensive gift. But, did he at any point attempt to not accept it/give it back?

9 times of out 10, when unexpected/inappropriate gifts are given, the receiver says "Oh, wow. Really, you shouldn't have. I cannot accept such a gift." They try to refuse, but more often than not, the giver insists that you take it and keep it, and won't take no for an answer.

If this scenario took place, and the guy tried to refuse but was denied, then he is blameless, even if he kept the gift. What choice did he have? She insisted and wouldn't take no for an answer.

I like to know if this situation played out as described above, before crucifying the guy.

There is a thing called the post office, Fed Ex, UPS, leaving it on the front porch, sending it to her office....He could have returned it.

Profile picture of Este8
@Este8
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Sorry to say but this was a case of "try hard" on a man that was never that invested to begin with. Don't ever try to impress a man buying him expensive gifts unless that man is your husband and is treating you well. Live and learn. You will love again. Next time, choose the man whose invested enough to properly court you and is hot to trot for you. Let go of the pretty boy Floyds of the world. Not worth your time.

Profile picture of lnana04
@lnana04
15 Years5,000+ Posts

If Im not mistaken, the guy is a Cap and this is that aqua thats been on here for a while.

He'd always been an a@@ to her, saying he cant committ etc. I think she went to go visit him before and he was rude.

Seems like his typical behavior.

Profile picture of Peanutbutter
@Peanutbutter
14 Years1,000+ Posts

^ I like that. It's sensible and to the point. What could happen? He will either a) return it and you will have learned from your mistake or b) he will refuse and you will learn that he is an asshole.

If he is decent he will return it to you and you can move it along onto another guy who will buy YOU the gifts lol

Profile picture of Xel1337
@Xel1337
12 YearsAquarius

Posted by CapGal
The guy has no dignity. How could he take/accept an expensive gift, then leave you standing? He did you a great favour by leaving, so hold your head high and keep walking. Asking him to return the gift would be equivalent to rolling in the dirt with a sow.....don't do it. Consider this experience an expensive lesson.

?? Caps do this all the time LOL

both genders but the girls are more cunning about it :? And it's less obvious/mentioned

Profile picture of truecap
@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Xel1337
Posted by CapGal
The guy has no dignity. How could he take/accept an expensive gift, then leave you standing? He did you a great favour by leaving, so hold your head high and keep walking. Asking him to return the gift would be equivalent to rolling in the dirt with a sow.....don't do it. Consider this experience an expensive lesson.

?? Caps do this all the time LOL

both genders but the girls are more cunning about it :? And it's less obvious/mentioned

click to expand

I'm assuming a cap screwed you over?